The Legend Of Rah And The Muggles: Chapter Fourteen - A Winged Investigation
ZeldaQueen: All right folks, this is it! Second to last chapter, so we're setting up for our "climax". And yes, this is it
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter Fourteen: A Winged Investigation
It’s now morning on Aura, again right out of a Disney movie with the sun a-shining and the birds a-singing, just outside the window for Rah. But lo, Rah is not there and thus everyone is upset. Of course.
The two birds go flying off in a panic and attack the Evil Witch get Yur and Golda. We get some “amusing” beatings over the head with the “Yur is deaf” stick as he goes on about how he can’t understand the robins and needs his ear horn. Golda is stereotypically grandmotherly and tells them to calm down. By now, all of the Muggles have been woken up and come to see what’s going on. Wow, those must be some noisy birds.
The birds - specifically a cardinal named Carmine - finally tell everyone that Rah is missing and they can’t find him anywhere. Yes, he’s not in his room. Zoinks, wherever could he be? Yur finally gets his ear horn and Golda tells him that Rah is missing. Yur asks who is “kissing” Rah and I face palmed.
Everyone finally gets their act together long enough to ask Seymour the hawk to look for Rah. Right on cue, Seymour shows up asking who said his name. He then adds that any requests need to wait until everyone hears what he saw this morning - Rah was being carted away on the moss bed by Zyn and the Nevils! What do you know?
WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER, YOU DINGBAT???
Seriously, what is up with these people? They’re idiots, all of them! Even for a children’s story, this is freaking ridiculous! Fairy tale characters show more common sense! Honestly, I don’t care if they all die by fire. It’s Darwinism and no one can convince me otherwise.
Of course, no one asks why Seymour waited until now to drop that bomb, instead of raising the alarm when Rah was actually being kidnapped. Instead, everyone starts sobbing about OH LORD how Rah was at the mercy of the Evil, Evil Zyn and how horror of horrors Zyn might decide to return to Aura to live and wouldn’t that just ruin their happy little existence?
Right. These people are horrible. No two ways about it - all those times they were sobbing over Zyn and how terrible it was that he went nuts? Clearly they just didn’t care. Nope, he was ruining their sweet and happy little world and thus they were only to happy to leave him starving on an island. And they only are upset when Rah was kidnapped, Rah who adheres to the social norm and builds them cool stuff and doesn't strive to better himself at all. Seriously, I’d suspect this of being a parody or satire of Mary Suetopias if it weren’t for the fact that Stouffer was almost certainly serious with this.
That’s not even addressing the fact that if Zyn was so scary and terrible, why they didn’t make more of an effort to treat his depression. Or, you know, set a trap and lock him up or something!
Anyway, everyone’s freaking out and sobbing and they all look screwed and like I said, I don’t care. These idiots all deserve whatever they get, that’s what I say.
And then - holy hell - Yur of all people takes a level in badass and takes command of the situation, insisting that he might be old and deaf, but he’s not stupid (um…no comment) and that he won’t be letting Zyn or the Nevils get away with this. He sends Pitter and Patter to get The Ancient Book of Tales from a hidden place in the Mill House, which only Yur and Rah knew about before. So…why doesn’t Yur just go and get it, if it’s such a big secret? Not to mention that this is all just a lame attempt at suspense and creating an atmosphere, complete with weak descriptions of how “eerie” the place is without Rah in it. Anyway, they get the book and bring it to Yur and he opens it to “The Year of the Voyagers”, which what do you know, explains how to build boats. So thankfully, we’re spared any descriptions of putting third degree burns in the ocean water.
While the Muggles set about building boats, several others are sent to gather vines and branches. Several others are told to get “Chinese Lantern-plant pods” and fill them with fireflies. Chinese what? So there are still Chinese lanterns after the apocalypse? And they…grow on plants apparently? Whatever! The rafts are built, complete with damned catapults and the lantern-pod things are stuffed with fireflies.
Yur explains that their only defense is Zyn and the Nevils’ fear of the “Shadow Monsters”. Huh, so that’s why no one relieved them of that fear seven years ago. It was a safeguard to keep the Bad Guys away from Happyland. Good to know. Yur adds that Zyn didn’t listen while he was told the story from “The Year of the Moon”. If that’s the story that explains shadows, then bull, I say! If a guy lives for twenty-some years and can’t figure out the concept of shadows himself, he clearly has some sort of brain damage and shouldn’t be living on his own. Anyway, the plan is that they’ll use the firefly lanterns to keep the “Shadow Monsters” around and thus ensure that Zyn and the Nevils never leave the island again. Okaaaaay…
Whatever. It’s the last chapter coming up and I don’t care.
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Onward to: Chapter Fifteen: The Lantern Lights
Back to: Chapter Thirteen: Feast Or Famine
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter Fourteen: A Winged Investigation
It’s now morning on Aura, again right out of a Disney movie with the sun a-shining and the birds a-singing, just outside the window for Rah. But lo, Rah is not there and thus everyone is upset. Of course.
The two birds go flying off in a panic and attack the Evil Witch get Yur and Golda. We get some “amusing” beatings over the head with the “Yur is deaf” stick as he goes on about how he can’t understand the robins and needs his ear horn. Golda is stereotypically grandmotherly and tells them to calm down. By now, all of the Muggles have been woken up and come to see what’s going on. Wow, those must be some noisy birds.
The birds - specifically a cardinal named Carmine - finally tell everyone that Rah is missing and they can’t find him anywhere. Yes, he’s not in his room. Zoinks, wherever could he be? Yur finally gets his ear horn and Golda tells him that Rah is missing. Yur asks who is “kissing” Rah and I face palmed.
Everyone finally gets their act together long enough to ask Seymour the hawk to look for Rah. Right on cue, Seymour shows up asking who said his name. He then adds that any requests need to wait until everyone hears what he saw this morning - Rah was being carted away on the moss bed by Zyn and the Nevils! What do you know?
WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER, YOU DINGBAT???
Seriously, what is up with these people? They’re idiots, all of them! Even for a children’s story, this is freaking ridiculous! Fairy tale characters show more common sense! Honestly, I don’t care if they all die by fire. It’s Darwinism and no one can convince me otherwise.
Of course, no one asks why Seymour waited until now to drop that bomb, instead of raising the alarm when Rah was actually being kidnapped. Instead, everyone starts sobbing about OH LORD how Rah was at the mercy of the Evil, Evil Zyn and how horror of horrors Zyn might decide to return to Aura to live and wouldn’t that just ruin their happy little existence?
Right. These people are horrible. No two ways about it - all those times they were sobbing over Zyn and how terrible it was that he went nuts? Clearly they just didn’t care. Nope, he was ruining their sweet and happy little world and thus they were only to happy to leave him starving on an island. And they only are upset when Rah was kidnapped, Rah who adheres to the social norm and builds them cool stuff and doesn't strive to better himself at all. Seriously, I’d suspect this of being a parody or satire of Mary Suetopias if it weren’t for the fact that Stouffer was almost certainly serious with this.
That’s not even addressing the fact that if Zyn was so scary and terrible, why they didn’t make more of an effort to treat his depression. Or, you know, set a trap and lock him up or something!
Anyway, everyone’s freaking out and sobbing and they all look screwed and like I said, I don’t care. These idiots all deserve whatever they get, that’s what I say.
And then - holy hell - Yur of all people takes a level in badass and takes command of the situation, insisting that he might be old and deaf, but he’s not stupid (um…no comment) and that he won’t be letting Zyn or the Nevils get away with this. He sends Pitter and Patter to get The Ancient Book of Tales from a hidden place in the Mill House, which only Yur and Rah knew about before. So…why doesn’t Yur just go and get it, if it’s such a big secret? Not to mention that this is all just a lame attempt at suspense and creating an atmosphere, complete with weak descriptions of how “eerie” the place is without Rah in it. Anyway, they get the book and bring it to Yur and he opens it to “The Year of the Voyagers”, which what do you know, explains how to build boats. So thankfully, we’re spared any descriptions of putting third degree burns in the ocean water.
While the Muggles set about building boats, several others are sent to gather vines and branches. Several others are told to get “Chinese Lantern-plant pods” and fill them with fireflies. Chinese what? So there are still Chinese lanterns after the apocalypse? And they…grow on plants apparently? Whatever! The rafts are built, complete with damned catapults and the lantern-pod things are stuffed with fireflies.
Yur explains that their only defense is Zyn and the Nevils’ fear of the “Shadow Monsters”. Huh, so that’s why no one relieved them of that fear seven years ago. It was a safeguard to keep the Bad Guys away from Happyland. Good to know. Yur adds that Zyn didn’t listen while he was told the story from “The Year of the Moon”. If that’s the story that explains shadows, then bull, I say! If a guy lives for twenty-some years and can’t figure out the concept of shadows himself, he clearly has some sort of brain damage and shouldn’t be living on his own. Anyway, the plan is that they’ll use the firefly lanterns to keep the “Shadow Monsters” around and thus ensure that Zyn and the Nevils never leave the island again. Okaaaaay…
Whatever. It’s the last chapter coming up and I don’t care.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter Fifteen: The Lantern Lights
Back to: Chapter Thirteen: Feast Or Famine
Back to: Table of Contents