Time To Fix The Mistakes: Chapter 4 - Endings Are Easy (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: Howdy folks! Y'all remember that fight Rose Potter had with Voldemort, and how the Suethor really dumbed him down to make her look better? Well...
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 4: Endings Are Easy (Part 1)
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Chapter 4: Endings Are Easy
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June 11, 1978
ZeldaQueen: In other breaking news...
For the first time since he'd arrived, Harry returned to the little clearing in the forest where he'd transitioned over to King's Cross and then to the past.
ZeldaQueen In a manner which doesn't work, I might add
He needed someplace relatively anonymous and safe for the bit of work he was about to do.
ZeldaQueen: !!! Listen, I don't want to hear about him jerking off!
He laid out the horcruxes - including the already destroyed Peverell ring horcrux - in front of him. The diary, the diadem, the Hufflepuff cup, and the blasted locket. He wanted any possible alert to Voldemort about their destruction to occur as close to the Voldemort's death as possible.
ZeldaQueen: Fantastic. Murderous Harry is going to be murdering someone who seriously screwed his sense of entitlement. This ain't gonna be pretty
Harry smiled and pulled out his wand. He was about to perform the single most lethal fire spell still in practice (legend held that Merlin could create something called Phoenix Fire, but no one claimed to know its exact properties).
He pointed his wand at the diary and said the incantation. "Fiendfyre."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because after nearly dying by that spell he'd certainly take the time to learn it, especially considering that it's really dark arts! Hope you enjoy burning down the entire clearing there, Smokey would be so proud
Within seconds the diary was less than ash. Harry felt the nauseating pulse of Dark magic as the soul fragment inside the diary ceased to exist. He quickly cancelled the spell before the thing got out of control. It was strong enough magic to conjure fiery animals who could attack opponents with sufficient mental control.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, that's it, it's not that the fires just go completely nuts and burn everything up. Nope, it's just that there wasn't sufficient mental control before.
Bull, I say! DW, please answer me this - why, why why would Harry be able to use this spell better than Goyle, the son of a Death Eater? And don't tell me that it's because Harry's more talented, because not even he gets spells right the first time around. Also, he doesn't have a reason to learn the freaking thing! And he has bad experiences with it! It makes no sense!
He quickly destroyed the bit of the Peverell ring - just to be sure - and moved on to the Ravenclaw diadem, the cup, and the Slytherin locket. Two years. It had taken him almost exactly two years to accomplish all this.
ZeldaQueen: Cue angsting
Two years of disrupting raids.
ZeldaQueen: And kidnapping people, don't forget that
Two years of slowly disposing of the gold he'd brought back with him.
ZeldaQueen: Because of course Harry doesn't have to worry about silly things like money slowing his murderous rampage
Two years of worrying and wondering.
ZeldaQueen: My ass! All he thinks about is how to kill, murder, and humiliate people who displease him! Rose Potter, eat your heart out!
Two years of hiding supposed war victims and ferrying select letters back and forth to ensure that a few people knew the truth.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, the people you kidnapped!
Two years of evidence gathering and gathering anger.
ZeldaQueen: You were doing that since chapter one, you baby
Two years leading to now…to when he'd be done with Voldemort…to when he'd be ready to take on Dumbledore and the Ministry.
ZeldaQueen: I know. I'm cringing at the thought of it. And I read ahead. That weak idiot you will be fighting is not Voldemort
Two years of investing for the future.
ZeldaQueen: More like screwing up the future for your own gain
Two years spent, hopefully, making a better future.
ZeldaQueen: For Harry Potter
Two years hoping. For no good reason.
ZeldaQueen: Because hope and optimism and love are for wimps and canon Harry was an idiot for believing in them
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June 15, 1978
Harry satisfied his nervous anxiety by putting the finishing touches on the books and articles he planned to unleash on the wizarding world in the coming days and weeks. He'd accidentally brought along a copy of that vile Rita Skeeter's book on Dumbledore in his library from the future.
ZeldaQueen: Oh god, this. I know what happens with this. Ugh, just ugh!!!
Harry had quickly plagiarized it months ago and edited it down to a reasonable length (no Rita-style commentaries, nothing past 1977, and certainly no references to Harry Potter). He had also peppered the text with actual transcripts of conversations Dumbledore had had, ones he'd stored in his pensieve. Harry had also gone back to Dumbledore Manor to copy several of the photographs the man had kept.
ZeldaQueen: Uh huh. And this is going to prove you right...how? Okay, let's look at this logically (which the author is incapable of). First of all, Harry just plagiarized a book that would not have been written for several decades at least. None of the sources were interviewed until then. It's also hinted that a lot of stuff was only found out through the truth potion, so it seems unlikely that many of the sources, even if they were around to verify, would tell anything.
Second of all, people in the future know Rita Skeeter. She is high profile, she has a history, people can do background checks on her and find out stuff about her which proves that she is a real person who can (more or less) be trusted. Harry, in this time period, is nobody. He has not been born yet. He uses fake identities and names. Presumably he'll either be publishing this stuff anonymously or under a false name. There'll be no way to check his background or see if he's the least bit reputable. So even if anyone agrees to publish the thing, people will know about as much about the source as they do writers of Dear Abbey.
Third of all, Harry openly admitted that he took conversations from Dumbledore's memories as well as photographs from his home. In other words, he stole those things. And given that he was reduced to stealing them, one would think that they'd be pretty well hidden and thus be denied by those involved.
So let's look at this picture here. We're going to end up with a book published by a person that no one (and I mean no one) knows at all, which contains secret information about Dumbledore. He denies it all and there's the good probability that a lot of other people deny the stuff. Oh sure, there will be some people who believe it, but those people will be on the fringe, much like the folks who believe in reptilian humanoids. And yes the evidence inside is incriminating...if it can be proven right. But like I said, a lot of that stuff will be denied or unknown. Harry himself can't come forward and give testimony - he's got to keep himself secret. And there will be no explanation for how he's able to say for certain that he knows these things. Is he an old business associate of Dumbledore's? A childhood friend? Long-lost cousin? Jilted lover? And how can he prove it?
In other words, by all logic, this book ought to end up exactly like those ones that say that the Zionists are controlling the world's salt water to install a Communist nation. Yeah it's terrible and scary...but can you prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it happened?
The book would never be a classic, like Bathilda Bagshot's A History of Magic but it would serve its purpose. Plus Harry preferred for Dumbledore to be alive to try to wriggle out of the surprisingly true accusations within its pages.
ZeldaQueen: *sigh* See above rant about why the accusations ought to get met with skepticism
Harry had long been at work in his spare moments on a series of articles on the Aurors that was quite damning. The names of the four incapacitated Aurors had been bandied about in the press. Harry had taken the records he'd recovered from three of them to compare the 'before' and 'after' versions of their reports. He could lay dozens of Death Eater fatalities at their feet, in addition to more than twenty fatalities of non-combatants. Let the present Aurors and Barty Crouch dance their way out of that.
ZeldaQueen: Once again, how is he going to explain being able to procure such documents? Without himself being proven as a reliable source, there are still going to be people who don't believe him! The author here obviously doesn't know politics very well. Something like that could make the Aurors and Crouch squirm and make some people suspicious, but I seriously doubt that it would be enough to set the wheels in motion for them to be taken out. Even to this day, after all, there are people who think Nixon was better than sliced bread despite the Watergate burglary, and that had the information uncovered and printed by two reputable reporters and not an anonymous guy who could be totally nuts for all anybody knows
As for Crouch in particular, Harry didn't expect the man would be able to withstand the other part of his plan for Voldemort… It would be disturbing and shattering in so many ways.
ZeldaQueen: Why do I always here the theme from Jaws whenever this version of Harry narrates?
There were an entire series of articles on the failings of the Wizengamot. The old Chief Warlock Callus Umbridge was in for a flogging as were Dumbledore and eighteen other named bigots on the body. Harry thought the most destructive article would be, "Orphans Deprived of Rights, Ancestral Lands, Family Heirloom and Moneys by Wizengamot Decisions." Adults could care less about most other adults, but most of them had soft spots for abandoned orphans and official malfeasance.
ZeldaQueen: Ignoring my previous points about how Harry is not a reputable source, where is all of this stuff about orphans coming from? This was mentioned before and I really don't get it. They just had a war and people are lost or dead and everything is confused. Anyway, I still don't see evidence for this having happened in canon, which this fic is supposed to come after!
Also, I firmly believe that no one can use the word "moneys" without sounding either like Gollum or a total twat
There was a small pamphlet ready called the "Corruption Detailed of British Ministry Officials Bagnold, Fudge, Philacter, and Prosody."
ZeldaQueen: In case you're wondering who this "Bagnold" is who keeps getting picked on, Millicent Bagnold was the Minister of Magic before Fudge. Some people think she's Rowling's stand-in for Margaret Thatcher. I seriously think that DW here has some sort of ax to grind regarding his real-life government
Finally, there was a scathing book - which Harry had plagiarized from another, more interesting book he'd brought back with him called "The Dark Years: Voldemort and the Death of Liberty" - which would examine the Daily Prophet's role in 1) subtly supporting Death Eater propaganda on pureblood supremacy, 2) underplaying the devastation caused by Death Eater raids and attacks, and 3) protecting the officials at the Ministry who paid bribes to the owner and certain editors of the newspaper.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, first of all, does it not occur to Harry that publishing books from the future will screw up the future??? This isn't that much of a brainer!
Second of all, how does Daily Prophet censorship have anything to do with the Ministry? The Prophet does what it wants to make money. As Skeeter said, "The Prophet exists to sell itself"
The strongest part of the plan was for the articles to originate as investigative reporting outside Britain. The Dumbledore book would be published in America by a small magical press, followed three months later by the book on the Daily Prophet from the same press. The articles on the Aurors would come from a skeptic's magazine in Ireland that had a small, intelligent following in Britain. France would take the lead on bashing Britain's ancient form of jurisprudence. Harry expected it would be some time before all his articles and books fully permeated the British mindset - but, as the victor, Harry would make sure he was writing the history this time.
ZeldaQueen: This makes even less sense. So now he's expecting to have this all published in other countries and still have it seem reputable, despite the fact that they were all submitted anonymously, the publishing companies can't provide any background information on him, and for all anyone knows they were written by people in America, Ireland, and France who have no clue on any of this.
Also, I highly doubt that Harry would use a word like "jurisprudence"
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June 17, 1978.
Harry stood outside in the very early morning. The original timeline had recorded this date as when Voldemort himself, plus a crew of his Death Eaters, went to kill the Muggle parents of three past and present Hogwarts students: the Ransome family.
ZeldaQueen: Right, this is stupid. Remember what I said before, about Voldemort personally killing only those who were very important or big threats?
So WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE BOTHER TO GO KILL THE MUGGLE PARENTS OF RANDOM HOGWARTS STUDENTS, WHEN HE HAD A NUMBER OF DEATH EATERS WHO COULD DO THE JOB ALONE JUST FINE???
Harry Potter could barely contain his excitement and nervousness.
If he hadn't screwed up the timelines too badly,
ZeldaQueen: Your American is showing
Voldemort would be dead within an hour. And all his other plans - mostly on hold until Voldemort was destroyed - could move forward.
ZeldaQueen: How is this not messing up the timeline? HOW??? *sobs*
The ambush, Harry knew, would work. Voldemort wasn't suspecting it.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, like so many other re-writers of Harry Potter, DW here is incapable of having Voldemort be beaten unless he is utterly washed down and made a complete and total wimp-noodle
He didn't know he was being hunted or that all his raids of the past two years had failed to kill their targets. He also didn't know his horcruxes were destroyed - and that he was as mortal as the next man.
ZeldaQueen: Because Voldemort, who was extremely paranoid, wouldn't notice all of his soul pieces being destroyed. Didn't Dumbledore say it was very likely he could sense when his end was near?
Oh no, wait, Dumbledore was a compulsive liar who lied and deserves to burn for an eternity. My mistake
The main problem wouldn't be with killing Voldemort…it would be dealing with the Death Eaters after they'd witnessed their leader being struck down.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, HELL NO! WHAT WAS DW SMOKING WHEN HE READ THE BOOKS? WHAT? IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD KILLING VOLDEMORT BE EASIER THAN TAKING DOWN A GROUP OF DEATH EATERS, A TASK WHICH HARRY HAS DONE SEVERAL TIMES ALREADY???
As of today, the Code of Harry was no more.
ZeldaQueen: Like it ever was
He was destroying the timeline, so his earlier measures no longer mattered. If a person stood with Voldemort in his last minutes, Harry had no mercy for him or her.
ZeldaQueen: Even if they might be tricked or Imperiused. Nope, you're either with him or you're against him
It was to be total war…
ZeldaQueen: It's for the Greater Good
Harry heard the apparition. The Death Eaters and Voldemort had landed twenty meters in front of Harry - and that much closer to their targets of the evening.
ZeldaQueen: Voldemort quickly sensed Harry's presence and AK'd him. No one mourned
Harry wasn't going to speechify or attempt to 'reform' Voldemort or delay things.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, I do believe DW didn't like how the final battle turned out in Deathly Hallows. Well just go suck a lemon, buddy. Just because you wanted Harry to be a whiny, murderous bastard doesn't mean we all did
He drew his wand, leveled it at Voldemort's chest, and sent his most powerful Reductor Curse flying. Then he turned and cursed two of the Death Eaters before the first spell hit Voldemort.
ZeldaQueen: Because it's not like Voldemort wouldn't be able to put up five million powerful shields and countercurses in the meantime. Jesus, if it was so easy to KO him before, why didn't it happen earlier?
And no, don't tell me "because of the Horcruxes". At least Voldy should have ended up in his ghost-state or something
Harry had his attention divided between Voldemort and the others he'd brought with him.
ZeldaQueen: Because Voldemort sucks
The first curse impacted and suddenly there was an eight inch hole in Voldemort's chest. The dying beast grunted and shouted, "Treachery."
ZeldaQueen: THE FUCKING HELL? NO, THERE IS NO WAY THAT VOLDEMORT WOULD GO DOWN THAT EASILY! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT!!!
The other two curses found their targets: the right shoulder of one Death Eater and the pelvis of another. Harry was purposefully making the shots look like they'd come from different angles and different wizards.
ZeldaQueen: Because he's just that talented. *spits* I seriously hate this version of Harry. This makes no sense!
To the wizarding world, this had to look like a real battle or ambush, not just a massacre conducted by a lone assassin.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, a real battle in which there were no casualties on the other side and very little collateral damage
Harry ran from his previous location on silenced feet. The three remaining Death Eaters were in shock, but likely not for long. Voldemort was whispering things or trying to.
ZeldaQueen: I'm sorry, but Voldemort seems to have been replaced with an incompetent alter-ego, much like Dumbledore
Harry turned to his Cutting Curses. One fell to the ground before he'd even drawn his wand. The last two decided to fight back. One of them was particularly agile. Harry kept running and firing, but so did the Death Eaters.
He felt the crushing pain of the Cruciatus Curse touch him, but he ran through the pain.
ZeldaQueen: Um no, the Cruciatus Curse doesn't work like that! You feel like you're being painfully killed! You can't just "run" while you're being hit with it, nor does it "brush" you!
It was the first time he'd been hit in a duel or in battle in twelve years.
ZeldaQueen: Because Harry's Just So Awesome
The action gave Harry the anger necessary to return fire with an overpowered severing charm. The Death Eater was now without an arm. He fell to the ground in a piteous heap.
ZeldaQueen: Yes! Squash them like the insects that they are while Voldemort hangs around uselessly instead of messily killing you for making a go at his life!
The last Death Eater had disillusioned him or herself. This one had a bit of intelligence, but wasn't smart enough to disapparate away from the scene.
Harry was an expert stalker.
ZeldaQueen: He and Edward Cullen should hook up
It took only one spell - a silent Homenum revelio - to show Harry exactly where the Death Eater was. Harry let the person calm down and become a bit complacent. Then he lifted his wand and sent three of his most powerful Reductors against the invisible target.
The fallen Death Eater would never move again.
ZeldaQueen: I do miss the days when Harry was defined by Expelliarmus and perhaps Stupefy
Harry stalked through the battle scene, in a patch of forest behind the target's home, and stopped before Voldemort. The distorted wizard was still barely alive.
ZeldaQueen: From one Reducto curse? REALLY? And he couldn't, you know, HEAL IT??? JIMINEY H. CRICKET, DW, YOU'RE REALLY REACHING HERE!!!
"Tom Riddle, your horcruxes are destroyed. When you perish, you will be gone forever."
ZeldaQueen: (Voldemort) "Silence. I shan't be taunted by the likes of you. Avada Kedavra!"
Voldemort's face screwed up in horrified anger. But he couldn't speak. He could only slowly take his last gurgled breath…and die.
ZeldaQueen: Fuck me with a spoon, that was lame! Seriously, that was supposed to be the greatest Dark Wizard who ever lived? BULL, I SAY! The Psychlos from Battlefield Earth were better evil geniuses than that! I just...AUGH! Not even Voldemort can get in the way of Harry's Clean and Convenient path to Entitlement
Harry unmasked the five Death Eaters. Harry was sad for a moment when he saw Lucius Malfoy - Draco Malfoy would never come to exist in this timeline
ZeldaQueen: Oh, and that's not changing the future?
Anyway, why do you care? Draco was a major jerk, wouldn't this version of Harry be glad he wasn't around to pester him?
- but quite pleased when he saw the face of Barty Crouch Junior, his former 'teacher' during the Triwizard Tournament. According to the old timeline, Crouch had participated in this raid the first time around, as he'd revealed during his interrogation.
ZeldaQueen: ... he's pleased. "[Q]uite pleased". That he killed someone. I think I need to lie down
This death, publicized in the right way, would help to ensure the end of Barty Crouch Sr.'s power in the Ministry.
ZeldaQueen: God damn you DW, WILL YOU STOP HARPING ON ABOUT USING HOW TO USE EVERY LITTLE THING TO HARRYS ADVANTAGE AGAINST THE MINISTRY? Harry would not think like that! He would not think of how to use a man's death to hurt his father!
The others were Amycus Carrow, Callus Umbridge (who'd never been unmasked as a Death Eater in the original timeline at all),
ZeldaQueen: That's because he/she didn't exist
and Walden McNair.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, you just killed three or four people who play important parts in the future. Don't you think that might, I don't know, screw up the future?!?
Harry pondered over how to make it known that Voldemort was dead. Something dramatic; something that ensured Barty Crouch's dead body was shown with Voldemort's; something to sear this into the public consciousness.
Harry had a grim smile on his face as the solution came to him.
ZeldaQueen: DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNNNN!!!
And yes, I know what he does. And yes, it's sick
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Onward to: Chapter 4: Endings Are Easy (Part 2)
Back to: Chapter 3: Tactics To Win (Part 3)
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