Crescendo: Chapter 6
ZeldaQueen: Omph. So sorry I dropped off of the map there, ladies and gentlemen. Shall we continue?
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 6
ZeldaQueen: Nora goes back into the pool hall and meets up with Scott, who seems pretty unconcerned that she just wandered off on her own, while there are apparently a ton of guys who want to eat her alive. Yeah, remember my prediction that I'd grow to hate Scott before the story's out? This is pretty much the start of the incline. To be honest, I don't know if it's Fitzpatrick trying to bash Scott and make Patch look better, or just him being a part of a long line of people who show no concern for Nora's wellbeing. Regardless, it pisses me off.
Nora asks him if he got his money, and helpfully turns to the readers and tells them that he may or may not have actually found an ATM, but he was definitely up to Suspicious Business. Thanks for that, Nimrod Drew. I totally didn't get that when you decided he was up to Suspicious Business and stalked him in the last chapter. She also whines about Patch interrupting her little stalk-fest, complete with recapping exactly what he told her. Fitzpatrick! You are not writing a serial novel! You don't have to remind us what happened last chapter! Lord!
Nora starts to get panicked at about this point, remembering that dur, someone died in the building not so long ago. Also, the other people in the pool hall are looking mighty unfriendly. We're going to have to take Nora's word for that, because Fitzpatrick has yet to actually describe said people. Until now, I could have pictured the place as entirely empty, really. The only description we've gotten is "smokey", so either the pool hall was imported from Los Angeles, or everyone is chomping on some ciggies. Either way, that's not particularly threatening. It's not like we've been told that people are sharpening knives or fighting.
Although I would like to point out that even though Nora is very nervous being in this place, and even though she almost died not two months ago, three different times, she isn't doing the sane thing of going home. Oh no, heaven forbid she think about her personal safety. That might make her look uncool, and who wants that?
You know, one of the reasons this sporking took so long was that I'd been spoiling myself with Across the Universe and A Million Suns. I already want to go back and re-read them. At the very least, it's great to get a heroine with the brains to avoid obviously dangerous situations.
Right. Scott tells Nora that they're starting a game, and I swear it took me re-reading this bit several times to get that it's a group game. Now granted, I don't know if there is some sort of etiquette to playing in pool halls, but at the very least, I assumed that Scott would take a minute to teach Nora the rules of the game. We know that she allegedly knows how to play pool, but he doesn't. Apparently he's just having her dive headfirst into a game she may or may not know, with a bunch of people who play the game a lot and seem to be very volatile. Now one could argue that his question of "Do you want to join the game?" implies that he assumes that she won't accept unless she feels up to it, but given her general refusal to stand up for herself, and given how no one in this flipping series ever asks Nora directly if she's comfortable with doing things, it just comes across as him ignoring what Nora wants.
Of course, speaking of Nora being a spineless bint, she decides to join in the game even though she very much does not want to. Why? "a quick scan of the room revealed that Patch was seated at a poker table in the back". Of course. She's going to start doing things she doesn't want to, just to spite her ex. Which is totally different than her doing things she didn't want to, when they were dating. Or her doing things she didn't want to, when he was winding up to get her to date him. Why are those two considered such a fantastic couple, again? I've seen villainous marriages that are healthier than this.
So yeah, Patch is at the pool hall poker table and is using the game as an excuse to stalk Nora into the place. I think we're supposed to see it as admirable, and not as him using his stalking as a convenient excuse to play poker. We're told that "Even though his body wasn’t directly facing mine, I knew he was watching me. He was watching everyone in the room. He never went anywhere without making a careful and detailed assessment of his surroundings". Yes, he always is meticulously aware of his surroundings. That's why, in the last book alone, he failed to realize that his ex-girlfriend and fellow angel was posing as Nora's guidance councilor, that his Nephilim vassal was concocting an elaborate plot to kill Nora, that said vassal was dating Nora's best friend for all of this, and that one of Nora's classmates was a key player in said plot. Patch doesn't miss a thing, does he?
Nora decides to emulate Bella Swan, by which I mean she immediately begins to string Jacob Scott along, because nothing says "fuck you" to Edward Patch like emotionally toying with another guy, does it? In this case, she is all smiles and agrees to join the game, because "I didn’t want Patch to know how upset I was, how much I was hurting. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t having a good time with Scott". Given how you all but curl under a rock and sob when Patch doesn't text you quickly enough, I think it's damned obvious when you're on a whining binge. Not to mention that he might notice that you aren't having a good time with Scott, because YOU AREN'T, DAMN IT ALL!!!
*breathes heavily* I will not get worked up this early in. I will not.
At this point, Some Random Dude comes over and asks Scott how much he'll be betting. Scott gets all pissy and says that he's betting fifty bucks, same as everyone else. Nora takes a moment to go on about how strange the Random Dude looks, seeing as "he was groomed, his pants were pressed, and his loafers were polished". Dear God, how weird! It's almost like there was a dress code to work there! The Random Dude tells Scott that he has to bet a hundred dollars instead of fifty, because apparently Scott has racked up a huge debt with some guy named Dew (...are fucking kidding me, Fitzpatrick?) and he needs to settle it ASAP. Scott continues to be pissy and takes a drink (which I'm hoping is water or soda, because I want to hold on to hope that someone in this universe enforces underage drinking laws).
By now, I'm completely confused. I will admit that I'm not the most knowledgeable person on pool halls, but I was under the impression that gambling with games is set up and handled between the players, with the employees of the hall just renting out the equipment and tables. So fine, I get that there's one guy who is really good and is a regular and everyone owes a ton of money. But why would this Random Dude, who near as I can tell works there, be involved with all of this? I'm pretty sure there's not some official tournament, and it's not like this is an LA poker tournament or some such thing. How does this work?
In any case, we get a lot of heavy-handed hints that Scott is up to his balls in debt. We also get our first real description of the oh-so-terrifying players, namely that "Two out of every three were smoking. Three out of every three had tattoos of knives, guns, and various other weaponry climbing their arms". You guys get that? These people are dangerous and scary because they smoke and have tattoos. Um... okay then. Fitzpatrick, if you're going to harp on about how dangerous people are, could you bother to actually have them seem dangerous? That description sounds like most of the staff at a low-budget carnival.
Oh, but Nora isn't afraid of the smoking, tattooed guys though, because Patch is there and Patch has never let her down, nope! You know, like when he saved her from Dabria! Or when he saved her from Jules! He certainly has a great track record, doesn't he?
Anyway, Nora decides to use the money Patch gave her to get Scott to the hundred dollar minimum he needs to join in the game. Because that's a great thing to do when you realize that your friend has a gambling addiction! Feed the habit! And why is Nora doing this?
"I wasn’t a big fan of gambling, but I wanted to prove to Patch that the Z wasn’t going to eat me alive and spit me out. I could fit in. Or at least not get pushed around. And if it looked like I was flirting with Scott in the process, so be it. Screw you, I thought across the room, even though I knew Patch couldn’t hear me"
ZeldaQueen: Yet again, Nora is doing something that she doesn't think is right, just because she doesn't want to look uncool. What a great message! Remember kids, don't try to do what you think is right, or avoid dangerous situations! You'll just look like a boring poopy-head! And it's even better, because Nora's only doing this to spite Patch! So for all we're supposed to believe that Nora is growing a spine here (and yes, Fitpatrick described this as the book where Nora gets "stronger"), her sole motivation for what she does is still Patch! She is not doing any of this for her own enjoyment. She's doing it because of her Man. She has no life beyond worrying about what that asshole thinks about her. Isn't that great?
Scott starts nagging Nora to kiss his pole cue for luck (that's what she said?) Nora refuses, and Scott begins to mock her by making chicken noises and pretending to be flapping wings. What a great guy! I'm so glad he's one of our love interests! Although I'm not entirely sure why he's doing a five-year-old's "you're a chicken" routine, given that Nora shows no fear over kissing the pool cue. She thinks it's stupid.
And then...oh, fantastic. Marcie comes in. And I'm sorry for dropping such a large quote on you guys, but it must be seen to be believed
"I glanced to the back of the hall, hoping to confirm that Patch wasn’t watching the humiliating scene unfolding, and that was when I saw Marcie Millar saunter up behind him, lean in, and cross her arms around his neck.
My heart dropped to my knees.
Scott was speaking, tapping the pool stick against my forehead, but the words went right past. I fought to recapture my breath and focused on the blur of concrete straight ahead to ground my complete shock and sense of betrayal. So this was what he meant when he said things with Marcie were strictly business? Because it sure didn’t look that way to me! And what was she doing here after having just been knifed at Bo’s? Did she feel safe because she was with Patch? On a split-second thought, I wondered if he was doing this to make me jealous. But if that were the case, he would have to have known I’d be at the Z tonight. Which he couldn’t have, unless he’d been spying on me. Had he been around more the past twenty-four hours than I’d originally believed?"
ZeldaQueen: *rubs forehead* First thing's first...
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 22
ZeldaQueen: Because it's just fine and dandy for Patch to be a total sleazebucket Casanova and for Nora to flirt with and fake liking Scott to make Patch jealous, but when Marcie puts her arms around a guy's neck? GET OUT THAT SCARLET LETTER!
Next, don't you just love how Nora gets the vaguest hint that another girl is zeroing in on Her Man and she instantly goes weak in the knees and starts zoning out? What's that? You don't? Yeah, neither do I. For all we're supposed to believe that this is the book where Nora starts to have a stronger character, she's decidely more spineless than she was in the last book. This is seriously lending credence to the theory that Patch dicked around with Nora's personality when he brought her back to life. He wanted her to be a spineless bint who clung to him and needed him to survive, and now she is.
Third of all, is it just me, or would tapping someone on the head with a pool cue be a really bad idea? Seems like it would be hard to handle something that unwieldy, and it's basically a huge stick being waved around her eyes and other such parts.
Fourth of all, how in the world does Marcie putting her arms around Patch indicate that he sees this as anything other than intimate? He's not hugging her, he's not kissing her, and as far as we're told, he just is sitting there while she glomps him. Honestly, I don't get Nora's logic. One minute, she's going around saying that Marcie is an evil harlot who is brainwashing Patch with her boobies, and the next minute, she's bashing Patch for letting a girl fondle him. I mean what, does she want Patch to shove Marcie onto the floor? Bah. Knowing how petty and spiteful Nora is, she probably does.
Fifth of all, Nora dearest? What makes you think that Marcie necessarily feels safe in this place? The fact that she showed up for a hot guy doesn't mean anything. You showed up for two hot guys, and you clearly don't feel safe.
Finally, we're...supposed to find it difficult to believe that Patch was spying on Nora? Patch the Textbook Stalker? Patch who, by his own damned admission, stalked her for months BEFORE THEY EVEN MET??? Tell me Nora, do you work hard to be this stupid? Or does it come naturally to you?
*shakes head* Lord. Nora whines about how she's digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands "struggling to
focus on the pain there, and not the choked, humiliated feeling rising inside me". *begins to play her a tune on the World's Tiniest Violin* Thank God Almighty, Nora's wangst-fest is interrupted when she notices a vaguely menacing dude with a "deformed" - looking patch (har) of skin on his neck. See, we know he's evil because he has a deformity. It's not like there are people who get scars from accidents or everyday occurances, or who just have rashes from allergic reactions or skin ailments or other such things. Nope, he has a Mysterious Mark on his neck and it's Frightening.
Nora finds this guy familiar in some weird way. Even though she finds him scary, she completely ignores her survival instincts telling her to run, and hangs around to figure out where she saw him at. Good God, what is up with girls in these stories having no fight or flight reactions? Aren't those sorts of characters the ones who usually are fodder in slasher films?
We go back to the "hilarious" shenanigans of Scott, who is still trying to get Nora to kiss his pool cue (no, that's not a euphamism). Either Scott is so stupid that he didn't notice Nora spacing for half an hour or so, or Fitzpatrick meant for it to only be a few seconds and is a bad writer. Either one is likely. In any case, Scott continues to be annoying and "slipped the pool stick under the hem of [her] shirt and lift[s] it".
You know, in another book, I might be able to laugh that off as silliness between friends. Given that they're in a place full of adult men who apparently want to attack Nora, and given the sheer amount of I'M GONNA RAPE YOU that this series runs on...
Not cool, Fitzpatrick and Scott. Not cool at all.
This is all interrupted when the creepy guy Nora had been watching throws a pool ball into a mirror. When everyone shuts up to stare at him, he starts to wave around a gun and demands that the dude taking the bets hand over all of the money. Scott comes forward and points out that the creepy guy is outnumbered and that no one will let him get away with robbing the place. You know, for all we're told that Patch is a badass fighter and protecter, Scott is coming across as a far more active hero here. He is clearly scared, but calmly tells the creepy guy to give it up and put the gun down. I can get behind that much more than I can Patch's smug "IMMA TOUGH GUY!" routine.
The creepy guy casually scratches his neck with his gun, because presumably he's a dumbass who doesn't care if he potentially kills or paralyzes himself. He then says that he won't leave, and instead orders Scott to "Get on the table". Ohhh-kay, my mind just jumped to a place I'm pretty sure Fitzpatrick didn't have in mind. I'm surprised he didn't specify for Scott to drop his pants first. Instead, Scott refuses and the creepy guy repeats for him to get on the table and put his arms out, fingers together, legs apart, and head well forward, all while flapping his arms and jumping. Obscure Monty Python reference for the win!
ZeldaQueen: Scott does... erm, get on the pool table, and the creepy guy points a gun at him. While Scott is quietly freaking out, Nora starts blathering on about how weird this all is
"Didn’t he know he couldn’t die? Didn’t he know he was Nephilim? But Patch had said he belonged to a Nephilim blood society-how could he not know?"
ZeldaQueen: Um, is it just me, or is that a rather awkward sentence structure? Those first two questions suggested that Nora found it odd that Scott did not know he was a Nephilim, and the third sentence is worded as contradicting those...even though it also is her thinking that it's odd that Scott doesn't know he's a Nephilim! What the fuck?
Also, Nora seems to be thinking rather rationally for someone in a pool hall full of worked-up pool-playing thugs, one of whom is clearly trigger-happy and pointing a gun at her alleged friend.
Nora then starts going on about how weird it is that no one is rushing the creepy guy, even though Scott's right and that they do outnumber him. Half a point for that, but that's working under the assumption that everyone in the hall knows that Scott is immortal. If you rush a person while they're pointing a gun at someone, it's extremely likely that that someone is going to get shot, especially by accident. Just because Nora's an idiot who leaps before she looks doesn't mean everyone else is.
Out of nowhere, and I do mean nowhere, Nora starts going on about how the creepy guy is just oozing unworldliness, and is giving her Weird Feelings which suggest he's a Nephilim or fallen angel. Considering that this is the first time we've heard that someone who might be not-human gives her weird feelings, it doesn't mean much. I mean, she actually heard Scott talking in her head and all but ignored it.
There's a random mention of Marcie looking completely lost at this all, and Nora holds our hands and reminds us that Marcie is a pleb who doesn't know about how uber-powerful Nephilim and fallen angels are. She tells us that "She should have learned her lesson at Bo’s and stayed home. And so should have I", and it's a mark of how misogynistic these books are that I'm annoyed by that quote. Marcie and Nora both have gone to dangerous places and should have learned to not go to more, but it sounds like it's saying "Wimmunz should stay in their homes where it's nice and safe, because they are delicate and should be wrapped in cotton, while the Big Strong Men get into fights and play pool". Of course, given that Nora most definitely does not learn her lesson and not go to obviously dangerous places, I'd say it also counts as a Sin Thine Ass Off.
The creepy guy rams a pool cue through the table that Scott's on, which totally isn't going to give him away as being not human. This sets everyone off, and a pool hall brawl breaks out. Ye-haw. I have no idea how much of a fight it would be, given that it's about thirty guys united against one dude, but we don't see details because Nora crawls out of there. She pauses only to tell us about a guy who has a gun holster strapped to his ankle (um, is that a common place for guns?), and is caught by Patch at the exit.
Patch gives Nora the keys to his Jeep and tells her to drive out of there ASAP. Okay, in all fairness I can understand this. There's a frigging brawl going on, and her going home is the safest course of action. And if Patch hadn't been such a chronic asshole, I could buy his shortness with her refusal to leave as panic. Nora, however, decides to be a brat and starts whining at him. While people are throwing bar stools and firing guns. What wonderful survival instincts this girl has! She decides to respond to Patch trying to get her to safety with "Quit acting like I’m a huge inconvenience! I never asked for your help!"
*folds hands patiently in front of her* Well Nora, maybe if you showed an iota of survival instinct, or maybe avoided places were murders recently happened, or even carried a can of mace, you wouldn't be such an inconvenience.
Of course, Patch being who he is, he is just as much an unlikable prick. Instead of telling her something like "I just want to get you to safety!" or "I don't want to see you get killed!" or any of the other logical points he could have made, he gives this
"I told you not to come tonight. You wouldn’t be an inconvenience if you’d listened. This isn’t your world-it’s mine. You’re so bent on proving you can handle it that you’re going to do something stupid and get yourself killed"
ZeldaQueen: In other words, he just came out and told Nora that she's a load and doesn't have a chance of measuring up to the Big Strong Men (seriously, she and Marcie are the only girls in there). Now granted, Nora is a load with the survival skills of a video game lemming, but Patch is supposed to love her more than anyone in the world. Why would he outright tell her "You're an inconvenience who ought to just listen to me, because I know best"? What is up with YA couples where the guy is constantly belittling and insulting the girl? It's not cute and it's not endearing! What, are couples that have respect for each other somehow out of vogue? God, now I really want to go back to Elder and Amy.
*is irate*
Onward.
Even though they're still in a building full of worked-up dudes who want to break things, Patch keeps Nora around to tell her how the creepy guy is, in fact, a Nephilim. He explains that the "deformity" on his throat is actually a "branding", and that it shows that he's deeply involved with a Nephilim blood society. Because it must be hammered home that Nephilim are a bunch of violent thugs who we are to think are unreasonable and unlikable. Yeah.
Nora, much like her idiot father, goes all horrified at the thought of someone having a burn mark on their throat, ohes teh noes! Christmas, how big was that thing? If it was at all like the one on the guy in the prologue, it was hardly noticable! Oh, and Nora theorizes that "like Chauncey, [the creepy guy] was evil".
Yes, you read that right. Nora just flatly referred to two guys that she hardly knew as "evil". She was told about how messed-up Chauncey was, and knows that it's likely that the creepy guy went through all the same things, and she just labels them "evil". Now, I could understand her being upset around Nephilim or coming to extreme conclusions because of what Chauncey did to her...except that she has hardly thought about her near-murder for most of this book. It's like it never happened to her. So no, if she shows no signs of actually being traumatized by the event, I'm not buying that as an excuse.
*strained smile* Go jump into a dump truck, Nora.
Right, back to the story. Somehow... the two of them are outside. Huh, when did that happen? Ah well, their little conversation is interrupted as the windows of the back door are knocked out. Patch tells Nora to head on home, and that he's going to be taking Marcie home. Nora, naturally, turns into a wibbling mess at this and whines that he should be looking after her because he's her guardian angel. His response to this?
"Patch sliced his eyes into mine. 'Not anymore, Angel'"
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* Oh no, oh no, what could this possible mean? It couldn't be that he's not her guardian angel anymore. Perish the thought.
Also, I wish that his eyes would slice into hers. At least her abruptly going blind would be a legitimate source of conflict to deal with.
Patch runs off and Nora starts driving his Jeep home. The entire time, we're treated to her whining nonstop. I'm dead serious. She just escaped from a bar brawl, knows that something really fishy is up with Scott, and was told that there's a *cough* group of radical Nephilim on the prowl, and she's fussing about Patch not paying attention to her every hour of the day. Dear lord, shoot me!
Oh, and doesn't seem to grasp the fact that she caused him to stop being her guardian angel when she told him she didn't want him as a guardian angel! Sweet Jiminy Cricket, is this idiot so used to having her requests ignored that she can't process when it does happen? Because all she's doing is thinking that Patch is joking or lying about not being her guardian, because it totally isn't that he really isn't her guardian anymore. God
"I’d told him exactly why I’d done it, and he was hanging it over my head, as if this whole mess was somehow my fault. As if this was what I wanted! This was more his fault than mine. I had the urge to run back and tell him I wasn’ t helpless. I wasn’t a pawn in his big, bad world. And I wasn’t blind. I could see well enough to know something was going on between him and Marcie. In fact, I was now all but certain something was. Forget it. I was better off without him. He was slime. A jerk. An untrustworthy jerk. I didn’t need him-for anything"
ZeldaQueen: No, Nora, you didn't tell him "exactly" why you broke up with him. You told him that you were dumping him because you didn't like that he couldn't feel you when you were making out with him. You didn't tell him "I'm breaking up with you because I'm afraid I'll keep tempting you and get you sent to Hell". And no, don't anybody tell me that Patch could figure it out or whatnot. There's been no in-text evidence to suggest that he did, and Nora still is acting like she was completely honest, which she most assuredly was not.
I do so love how she is getting all pissed at Patch for this mess, but never gets angry with him for stalking her repeatedly through and before the events of Hush, Hush. Because you know, if he truly loved her, it seems to me that he would have spared her all of this by not getting her tangled up in it. Of course, we know why he did. It's because he's a selfish asshat and no one in this book seems able to notice.
Nora dearest, I'm terribly sorry but you are pretty much helpless. Your Suethor has done a lot to ensure it, because she loves writing the Big Strong Patch swooping in to save you. If you would just connect your nonexistent spine to your very tiny brain though, I'm sure you'll start to catch up.
And why the ever-loving Hell is Nora only now getting so shocked by the idea that another woman is interested in Patch? It was firmly established in the last book that women hang off of him like ornaments on a Christmas tree of smug assholery. Now, Nora is seeing Marcie hanging onto Patch like an ornament on a Christmas tree of smug assholery and this gets her thinking that somethings unusual? And I've already ranted about how Patch's behavior makes it more likely that he's going to kill Marcie in the middle of the night rather than cheat on Nora with her, so I won't repeat myself.
Finally, yes Nora, you have the right idea. Patch is a slimy jerk, and you are better off without him. I can't enjoy this bit of sanity though, because (A) she's pissed about this and not him stalking her and manipulating her and being a horrible jerk to her and (B) because I know that we're all supposed to be going "No Nora, don't give up! Patch will surely see the error of his ways and go back to you!"
I hate the world.
Nora finally gets home and is a little bit shakey. Yes, that's a believable reaction to nearly getting killed in a bar brawl. She tells us that it's weird that she feels alone and uncomfortable in the Jeep, because it "had always been a place of refuge". Good of you to tell us that, seeing as there's been no evidence at all in the text!
Nora starts to cry not because she just went through the stressful and traumatic experience of watching her friend nearly getting shot (seriously, does she even remember that Scott exists?) but because Patch drove Marcie home. The horror, the horror. I forget the mayanaise. She continues to wangst and sob until the gas meter has dropped half a bar (because apparently she was either too lazy to turn off the car, or was trying to kill herself with carbon monoxide poisoning), and that's when she looks up and sees Patch standing on her porch, like the creeper he is.
She actually starts to cry with relief that he's shown up (good grief) not because she was worried about him, but because she wanted him to check in on her. She then starts slapping us with Dead Herrings
"But I was driving his Jeep. He’d most likely come to take it back. After the way he’d treated me tonight, I couldn’t believe there was any other reason"
ZeldaQueen: Because Fitzpatrick, like Meyer, seems to think that childish bitchiness is a decent character trait. I could understand Nora being pissed that Patch is a condescending asshat to her, but he was a condescending asshat to her in Hush, Hush and the entire thing was either played for laughs or meant to be sexy. Let's be realistic here, Nora's idea of unfair treatment is that Patch asked her to leave a dangerous area and expected her to do it herself, because he was getting another person to safety. And that being the case, Nora is little better than Bella "Why Didn't You Just Let That Truck Run Over Me?" Swan.
Patch crawls into the Jeep and asks Nora if she's alright. Nora gives a very brief moment to be freaked out by what happened and worry about Scott. She then goes right back to being mentally bitchy about Marcie. Good God, but I feel sorry for that girl! Nora wonders if Marcie escaped the fight, and then thinks "Of course she had. Patch had seemed bent on making sure of it".
*stares* Okay. Now it might just be me having read too many comics, but saying that a person is "bent on" something tends to imply that they are determined to do something cruel or stupid or just plain wrong. I really can't think of using that phrase for something with positive connotations. And...Nora just used it to describe Patch saving Marcie from possibly dying.
In other words, she just implied that it was wrong or stupid of Patch to try to keep Marcie safe. After Marcie had already been hospitalized for a knife wound.
Um...I really can't think of too much to say to that. Well, except that this just makes the archangels' desire to separate Patch and Nora even more understandable. Not only is Patch not doing his job while looking after her, but she clearly is needy to the point of being psychotic and expresses insane levels of jealousy when Patch does try to do his job, namely saving people.
Moving on. Patch explains to Nora that the Nephilim waving the gun around was fundraising for the group he is a member of. He pauses to bitch about how he has no idea what they want to money for, that his being an angel puts him at a disadvantage when it comes to infiltrating their group, and "They’re not going to let me within a mile of the operation".
Patch. You moron. You know what their goal is! THEY WANT TO STOP BEING POSSESSED BY FALLEN ANGELS! Instead of whining about how you can't spy on them, why don't you do something useful, like getting rid of the fallen angels? There is not a single reason why those assholes should stay on Earth! They aren't doing some divine mission and they're not working for redemption! Hell, even by human standards, they aren't living decent or productive lives! In other words, your problem is that there is an uprising that can be stopped if you simply track down and get rid of a group of beings that are doing absolutely nothing of value, and who you already should be pissed off at. Really, this should not be a problem!
And yes Patch, Heaven forbid the Nephilim not let you into their little shindig. It's not like you kept a Nephilim slave of your own, for the past century or so. They're just so unreasonable to want to keep you out!
Nora briefly wonders if Patch is hinting that he needs her help spying on the Nephilim. She's not bothered in the least by this, that he might want her to help take down a group that just wants to be free from possession and mind rape. No, the only thing that bothers her is that it looks like he likely isn't asking for her help, because she's basically a human and has very little Nephilim blood in her. I fail to see what that has to do with anything. It's basically just a really awkward info-dump about Nora's ancestry, for people who were fortunate enough to have not read the first book.
We then get Nora asking how come Scott and the creepy guy didn't recognize each other, if they were in the same organization. Patch explains this, and it is extremely stupid
"My best guess right now is that whoever’s running the society is separating the individual members to keep them in the dark. Without solidarity, the chances of a coup are low. More than that, if they don’t know how strong they are, the Nephilim can’t leak that information to the enemy. Fallen angels can’t get information if the society members themselves know nothing"
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I will admit that the second point makes sense, especially given the fallen angels can mindrape their Nephilim slaves. The first point though? How the heck does that work? So...the members don't know who else is in the group with them? I... that's stupid! How is the group supposed to be the least bit productive? What's the point of forming a group if they're not unified against a common enemy? If they knew who the fellow members of the group were, then they wouldn't be threatening their own allies with weapons, like the creepy guy did with Scott!
Of course, it also makes that branding thing rather stupid. So the members are divided up so that they don't know who else is in the group. If that's the case, why the fuck would the leader give them all a very visible mark to identify them as members of the group? And if the marks weren't meant to be seen, why put them on? Just for the fun of it? It makes no sense!
And "chances of a coup"? Why would there be a coup? This isn't a political organization! They're trying to get rid of the fallen angels! I have yet to see any evidence that this group would even be around if the fallen angels weren't possessing them!
LORD, this is stupid!
ZeldaQueen: God God.
Consider yourself fortunate that you have ZeldaQueen to abuse, for no sane sporker would tolerate it!
And apparently Fitzpatrick heard me, because Nora gives us this
"Part of me abhorred the idea of fallen angels possessing the bodies of Nephilim every Cheshvan. A less noble part of me was grateful they were targeting Nephilim and not humans. Not me. Not anyone I loved"
ZeldaQueen: GET. RID. OF. THE. FUCKING. FALLEN. ANGELS. WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM?
And Nora is still a selfish, sociopathic bint. That's so great to know.
Speaking of which, guess what time it is? That's right, time to bitch about Marcie again! I bet you all were eager to get back to that! Nora starts poking at Patch driving her home, and when he doesn't take the bait, she outright asks about Marcie clinging to him. Patch's response?
"Marcie’s sense of personal space is nonexistent"
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me for one moment, ladies and gentlemen.
*THE VERY FAST KILLING OF MANY*
Sorry about that. Apparently I was supposed to just sit there and think it's fine for Patch to bash Marcie for having no sense of personal space, after he chased Nora around a parking garage, held her down on a motel bed while she screamed, and stood right up against her in the girl's room and ignored her while she repeatedly told him to give her space. Clearly, I could not.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 21
ZeldaQueen: That's one for Patch and one for Fitzpatrick pulling that disgusting double standard.
Oh, and does Nora call him out on that? No, she does not. Instead, she gets all pissy and asks "So you’re an expert on Marcie now?"
*stares*
*swells with fury*
ACCORDING TO YOU, MARCIE HITS ON ANYTHING THAT WALKS! HOW IS PATCH STATING WHAT IS APPARENTLY THE BLOODY OBVIOUS SOME SIGN THAT HE'S BEING INTIMATE WITH HER???
For some reason, this gets Patch really angry. Honestly, I don't know why. Nora has been going on nonstop about how he has surely been secretly having a fling with Marcie since he was caught staring in her window. How is this any different? Nonsensical or not though, it still is really creepy. We're told how his eyes go all dark and it sounds like he's going to slap a bitch for displeasing him. Fitzpatrick, why do you think this guy is sexy? He's most assuredly not!
Patch actually does remind Nora that women are uncontrollably attracted to him, for whatever reason, and says that "It’s not the first time a girl has done that, and it probably won’t be the last". Nora responds to this by... telling Patch that he should have pushed Marcie away.
In other words, she thinks that if Patch really wanted to prove that he loved her and her only, he would push away girls who did so much as touch him. Because really, that's what Marcie did. She hugged him, gesture that can easily be just as much platonic as romantic. And Nora, who supposedly loves Patch more than anyone in the world and knows him so well, hears him swear right and left that it didn't mean anything, and just says that if it really didn't mean anything to him that he - a super powerful angel - should have shoved a defenseless girl over.
Not to mention that in this series full of assault and Do Not Want, Nora just pretty much said "Well you could have stopped her from inappropriately touching you if you really wanted to. Since you didn't, you must have actually wanted it."
Moving on, before I begin heaving. Nora next begins to bitch about how Patch rescued Marcie from the pool hall. OH JESUS CHRIST. Nora, you said that Marcie was the only one in there who had no super powers and had no clue what was going on! Patch did a very basic show of decency, getting her away from the blunt objects and knives and flying bullets. ARE YOU HONESTLY SAYING THAT YOU THINK HIM KEEPING SOMEONE FROM DYING IS A SIGN THAT HE WANTS TO BONE HER AND, BY EXTENSION, THAT IF HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH AND HAD NO FEELINGS FOR HER, HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT HER TO POSSIBLY DIE?
MY GOD, YOU ARE.
FUCK.
ME!
*pants furiously* I am going to finish this chapter, I will, by God, I will!
Out of nowhere, Nora tells Patch that she had a dream about Marcie's dad. Yes, it really is that abrupt. Even Nora the Clueless realizes that it's random. She handwaves it by figuring that she brought it up "to communicate to Patch that my pain was so raw it had even entered my dreams" because "dreams are a way of reconciling what’s happening in our lives, and if that was true, my dream was definitely telling me I hadn’t come to terms with whatever was going on between Patch and Marcie. Not if I was dreaming about fallen angels and Cheshvan. Not if I was dreaming about Marcie’s father".
I'm sorry, how does that make sense? Because you dreamed that Marcie's dad was being mindraped by angels it means that you think that Patch wants to boink Marcie? I...okay, I know that dreams often don't make sense. But for fuck's sake, Nora was completely aware during the dream! It went in a perfect linear story arc! There weren't any weird dream elements! What was there to suggest that it was supposed to be a trippy analogy to what was going on at that moment?
I mean, I already brought up how Harry Potter dealt with his clearly significant/prophetic dreams. Let's look at the other sorts of dreams he had, the ones which were regular dreams about stuff that he was stressed about. Let's use that one dream from Order of the Phoenix as an example, the one where he was having a fight with Cho in the Room of Requirement. Yes, it parallels what's going on in the story. Harry worries about his relationship with Cho, and is bothered by her continuing to bring up Cedric and how she keeps getting upset for things he doesn't get. Because of this, in the dream, Cho is getting angry at Harry for something he didn't do and is berating him for being inferior to Cedric. But at the same time, there are strange things happening that also parallel what's going on. For example, Hermione often would be the one to explain to Harry why Cho was upset with him, and what he should have done to make up for it. In the dream, Cho randomly transforms into Hermione, and the newly-arrived Hermione starts saying that the best way to make things up is to give Cho an object that Harry no longer owns.
That's it. It was brief, weird, and showed how Harry felt about what was going on.
Nora's dream? It wasn't like that at all. Maybe if the bar had dogs playing poker, or if Marcie's dad turned into Marcie, or if something bizarre happened to make it feel more like a dream, I could buy Nora thinking that it was a result of her fussing over Marcie. But no, Fitzpatrick made it ridiculously obvious that it's a Symbolik Dream, and thus those of us with brains know that it is not just a reflection of Nora's mental state.
*sighs* Moving on. Nora describes the dream, and Patch shows a lot of interest in it. Nora, being the witless wonder that she is, has no clue in the world why this would unsettle Patch so much. I mean, it's not like she has been introduced to a world of mindrape and telepathy, where, say, someone could plant memories or scenes in one's head for a specific purpose! It's also not like it's possible that Patch, who hung around with fallen angels that tortured Nephilim, and who would likely have been kicking around England in the 1800s, might have found that dream to be familiar.
Of course, Patch doesn't actually tell Nora anything. If he did that, Fitzpatrick would have to further the plot, because she couldn't use her characters' stupidity as a crutch. Instead, he randomly offers to walk through Nora's house, to make sure it's safe. I don't know why. She's given zero signs of being afraid of going inside. Nora, bitchy as ever, bristles at this, and reminds Patch that they're through and she doesn't need him doing stuff for her. She wangsts a lot, going on about the lump in her throat, and how her vision is "smeared" with tears as she goes inside, and how she wants to dream about Patch coming back to her, but woe he will not, and dear LORD, make it end!
Thankfully, this is the end of the chapter. Nora finds a message on the answering machine from her mother, who apparently is coming home unexpectedly early and will be back soon. Nora finishes the chapter by informing us how "I had only one more hour alone". Would you like me to break out the World's Smallest Violin, Nora?
And with that, we finish the chapter. Dear God, but I'm irate!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 21
Onward to: Chapter 7
Return to: Chapter 5
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 6
ZeldaQueen: Nora goes back into the pool hall and meets up with Scott, who seems pretty unconcerned that she just wandered off on her own, while there are apparently a ton of guys who want to eat her alive. Yeah, remember my prediction that I'd grow to hate Scott before the story's out? This is pretty much the start of the incline. To be honest, I don't know if it's Fitzpatrick trying to bash Scott and make Patch look better, or just him being a part of a long line of people who show no concern for Nora's wellbeing. Regardless, it pisses me off.
Nora asks him if he got his money, and helpfully turns to the readers and tells them that he may or may not have actually found an ATM, but he was definitely up to Suspicious Business. Thanks for that, Nimrod Drew. I totally didn't get that when you decided he was up to Suspicious Business and stalked him in the last chapter. She also whines about Patch interrupting her little stalk-fest, complete with recapping exactly what he told her. Fitzpatrick! You are not writing a serial novel! You don't have to remind us what happened last chapter! Lord!
Nora starts to get panicked at about this point, remembering that dur, someone died in the building not so long ago. Also, the other people in the pool hall are looking mighty unfriendly. We're going to have to take Nora's word for that, because Fitzpatrick has yet to actually describe said people. Until now, I could have pictured the place as entirely empty, really. The only description we've gotten is "smokey", so either the pool hall was imported from Los Angeles, or everyone is chomping on some ciggies. Either way, that's not particularly threatening. It's not like we've been told that people are sharpening knives or fighting.
Although I would like to point out that even though Nora is very nervous being in this place, and even though she almost died not two months ago, three different times, she isn't doing the sane thing of going home. Oh no, heaven forbid she think about her personal safety. That might make her look uncool, and who wants that?
You know, one of the reasons this sporking took so long was that I'd been spoiling myself with Across the Universe and A Million Suns. I already want to go back and re-read them. At the very least, it's great to get a heroine with the brains to avoid obviously dangerous situations.
Right. Scott tells Nora that they're starting a game, and I swear it took me re-reading this bit several times to get that it's a group game. Now granted, I don't know if there is some sort of etiquette to playing in pool halls, but at the very least, I assumed that Scott would take a minute to teach Nora the rules of the game. We know that she allegedly knows how to play pool, but he doesn't. Apparently he's just having her dive headfirst into a game she may or may not know, with a bunch of people who play the game a lot and seem to be very volatile. Now one could argue that his question of "Do you want to join the game?" implies that he assumes that she won't accept unless she feels up to it, but given her general refusal to stand up for herself, and given how no one in this flipping series ever asks Nora directly if she's comfortable with doing things, it just comes across as him ignoring what Nora wants.
Of course, speaking of Nora being a spineless bint, she decides to join in the game even though she very much does not want to. Why? "a quick scan of the room revealed that Patch was seated at a poker table in the back". Of course. She's going to start doing things she doesn't want to, just to spite her ex. Which is totally different than her doing things she didn't want to, when they were dating. Or her doing things she didn't want to, when he was winding up to get her to date him. Why are those two considered such a fantastic couple, again? I've seen villainous marriages that are healthier than this.
So yeah, Patch is at the pool hall poker table and is using the game as an excuse to stalk Nora into the place. I think we're supposed to see it as admirable, and not as him using his stalking as a convenient excuse to play poker. We're told that "Even though his body wasn’t directly facing mine, I knew he was watching me. He was watching everyone in the room. He never went anywhere without making a careful and detailed assessment of his surroundings". Yes, he always is meticulously aware of his surroundings. That's why, in the last book alone, he failed to realize that his ex-girlfriend and fellow angel was posing as Nora's guidance councilor, that his Nephilim vassal was concocting an elaborate plot to kill Nora, that said vassal was dating Nora's best friend for all of this, and that one of Nora's classmates was a key player in said plot. Patch doesn't miss a thing, does he?
Nora decides to emulate Bella Swan, by which I mean she immediately begins to string Jacob Scott along, because nothing says "fuck you" to Edward Patch like emotionally toying with another guy, does it? In this case, she is all smiles and agrees to join the game, because "I didn’t want Patch to know how upset I was, how much I was hurting. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t having a good time with Scott". Given how you all but curl under a rock and sob when Patch doesn't text you quickly enough, I think it's damned obvious when you're on a whining binge. Not to mention that he might notice that you aren't having a good time with Scott, because YOU AREN'T, DAMN IT ALL!!!
*breathes heavily* I will not get worked up this early in. I will not.
At this point, Some Random Dude comes over and asks Scott how much he'll be betting. Scott gets all pissy and says that he's betting fifty bucks, same as everyone else. Nora takes a moment to go on about how strange the Random Dude looks, seeing as "he was groomed, his pants were pressed, and his loafers were polished". Dear God, how weird! It's almost like there was a dress code to work there! The Random Dude tells Scott that he has to bet a hundred dollars instead of fifty, because apparently Scott has racked up a huge debt with some guy named Dew (...are fucking kidding me, Fitzpatrick?) and he needs to settle it ASAP. Scott continues to be pissy and takes a drink (which I'm hoping is water or soda, because I want to hold on to hope that someone in this universe enforces underage drinking laws).
By now, I'm completely confused. I will admit that I'm not the most knowledgeable person on pool halls, but I was under the impression that gambling with games is set up and handled between the players, with the employees of the hall just renting out the equipment and tables. So fine, I get that there's one guy who is really good and is a regular and everyone owes a ton of money. But why would this Random Dude, who near as I can tell works there, be involved with all of this? I'm pretty sure there's not some official tournament, and it's not like this is an LA poker tournament or some such thing. How does this work?
In any case, we get a lot of heavy-handed hints that Scott is up to his balls in debt. We also get our first real description of the oh-so-terrifying players, namely that "Two out of every three were smoking. Three out of every three had tattoos of knives, guns, and various other weaponry climbing their arms". You guys get that? These people are dangerous and scary because they smoke and have tattoos. Um... okay then. Fitzpatrick, if you're going to harp on about how dangerous people are, could you bother to actually have them seem dangerous? That description sounds like most of the staff at a low-budget carnival.
Oh, but Nora isn't afraid of the smoking, tattooed guys though, because Patch is there and Patch has never let her down, nope! You know, like when he saved her from Dabria! Or when he saved her from Jules! He certainly has a great track record, doesn't he?
Anyway, Nora decides to use the money Patch gave her to get Scott to the hundred dollar minimum he needs to join in the game. Because that's a great thing to do when you realize that your friend has a gambling addiction! Feed the habit! And why is Nora doing this?
"I wasn’t a big fan of gambling, but I wanted to prove to Patch that the Z wasn’t going to eat me alive and spit me out. I could fit in. Or at least not get pushed around. And if it looked like I was flirting with Scott in the process, so be it. Screw you, I thought across the room, even though I knew Patch couldn’t hear me"
ZeldaQueen: Yet again, Nora is doing something that she doesn't think is right, just because she doesn't want to look uncool. What a great message! Remember kids, don't try to do what you think is right, or avoid dangerous situations! You'll just look like a boring poopy-head! And it's even better, because Nora's only doing this to spite Patch! So for all we're supposed to believe that Nora is growing a spine here (and yes, Fitpatrick described this as the book where Nora gets "stronger"), her sole motivation for what she does is still Patch! She is not doing any of this for her own enjoyment. She's doing it because of her Man. She has no life beyond worrying about what that asshole thinks about her. Isn't that great?
Scott starts nagging Nora to kiss his pole cue for luck (that's what she said?) Nora refuses, and Scott begins to mock her by making chicken noises and pretending to be flapping wings. What a great guy! I'm so glad he's one of our love interests! Although I'm not entirely sure why he's doing a five-year-old's "you're a chicken" routine, given that Nora shows no fear over kissing the pool cue. She thinks it's stupid.
And then...oh, fantastic. Marcie comes in. And I'm sorry for dropping such a large quote on you guys, but it must be seen to be believed
"I glanced to the back of the hall, hoping to confirm that Patch wasn’t watching the humiliating scene unfolding, and that was when I saw Marcie Millar saunter up behind him, lean in, and cross her arms around his neck.
My heart dropped to my knees.
Scott was speaking, tapping the pool stick against my forehead, but the words went right past. I fought to recapture my breath and focused on the blur of concrete straight ahead to ground my complete shock and sense of betrayal. So this was what he meant when he said things with Marcie were strictly business? Because it sure didn’t look that way to me! And what was she doing here after having just been knifed at Bo’s? Did she feel safe because she was with Patch? On a split-second thought, I wondered if he was doing this to make me jealous. But if that were the case, he would have to have known I’d be at the Z tonight. Which he couldn’t have, unless he’d been spying on me. Had he been around more the past twenty-four hours than I’d originally believed?"
ZeldaQueen: *rubs forehead* First thing's first...
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 22
ZeldaQueen: Because it's just fine and dandy for Patch to be a total sleazebucket Casanova and for Nora to flirt with and fake liking Scott to make Patch jealous, but when Marcie puts her arms around a guy's neck? GET OUT THAT SCARLET LETTER!
Next, don't you just love how Nora gets the vaguest hint that another girl is zeroing in on Her Man and she instantly goes weak in the knees and starts zoning out? What's that? You don't? Yeah, neither do I. For all we're supposed to believe that this is the book where Nora starts to have a stronger character, she's decidely more spineless than she was in the last book. This is seriously lending credence to the theory that Patch dicked around with Nora's personality when he brought her back to life. He wanted her to be a spineless bint who clung to him and needed him to survive, and now she is.
Third of all, is it just me, or would tapping someone on the head with a pool cue be a really bad idea? Seems like it would be hard to handle something that unwieldy, and it's basically a huge stick being waved around her eyes and other such parts.
Fourth of all, how in the world does Marcie putting her arms around Patch indicate that he sees this as anything other than intimate? He's not hugging her, he's not kissing her, and as far as we're told, he just is sitting there while she glomps him. Honestly, I don't get Nora's logic. One minute, she's going around saying that Marcie is an evil harlot who is brainwashing Patch with her boobies, and the next minute, she's bashing Patch for letting a girl fondle him. I mean what, does she want Patch to shove Marcie onto the floor? Bah. Knowing how petty and spiteful Nora is, she probably does.
Fifth of all, Nora dearest? What makes you think that Marcie necessarily feels safe in this place? The fact that she showed up for a hot guy doesn't mean anything. You showed up for two hot guys, and you clearly don't feel safe.
Finally, we're...supposed to find it difficult to believe that Patch was spying on Nora? Patch the Textbook Stalker? Patch who, by his own damned admission, stalked her for months BEFORE THEY EVEN MET??? Tell me Nora, do you work hard to be this stupid? Or does it come naturally to you?
*shakes head* Lord. Nora whines about how she's digging her fingernails into the palms of her hands "struggling to
focus on the pain there, and not the choked, humiliated feeling rising inside me". *begins to play her a tune on the World's Tiniest Violin* Thank God Almighty, Nora's wangst-fest is interrupted when she notices a vaguely menacing dude with a "deformed" - looking patch (har) of skin on his neck. See, we know he's evil because he has a deformity. It's not like there are people who get scars from accidents or everyday occurances, or who just have rashes from allergic reactions or skin ailments or other such things. Nope, he has a Mysterious Mark on his neck and it's Frightening.
Nora finds this guy familiar in some weird way. Even though she finds him scary, she completely ignores her survival instincts telling her to run, and hangs around to figure out where she saw him at. Good God, what is up with girls in these stories having no fight or flight reactions? Aren't those sorts of characters the ones who usually are fodder in slasher films?
We go back to the "hilarious" shenanigans of Scott, who is still trying to get Nora to kiss his pool cue (no, that's not a euphamism). Either Scott is so stupid that he didn't notice Nora spacing for half an hour or so, or Fitzpatrick meant for it to only be a few seconds and is a bad writer. Either one is likely. In any case, Scott continues to be annoying and "slipped the pool stick under the hem of [her] shirt and lift[s] it".
You know, in another book, I might be able to laugh that off as silliness between friends. Given that they're in a place full of adult men who apparently want to attack Nora, and given the sheer amount of I'M GONNA RAPE YOU that this series runs on...
Not cool, Fitzpatrick and Scott. Not cool at all.
This is all interrupted when the creepy guy Nora had been watching throws a pool ball into a mirror. When everyone shuts up to stare at him, he starts to wave around a gun and demands that the dude taking the bets hand over all of the money. Scott comes forward and points out that the creepy guy is outnumbered and that no one will let him get away with robbing the place. You know, for all we're told that Patch is a badass fighter and protecter, Scott is coming across as a far more active hero here. He is clearly scared, but calmly tells the creepy guy to give it up and put the gun down. I can get behind that much more than I can Patch's smug "IMMA TOUGH GUY!" routine.
The creepy guy casually scratches his neck with his gun, because presumably he's a dumbass who doesn't care if he potentially kills or paralyzes himself. He then says that he won't leave, and instead orders Scott to "Get on the table". Ohhh-kay, my mind just jumped to a place I'm pretty sure Fitzpatrick didn't have in mind. I'm surprised he didn't specify for Scott to drop his pants first. Instead, Scott refuses and the creepy guy repeats for him to get on the table and put his arms out, fingers together, legs apart, and head well forward, all while flapping his arms and jumping. Obscure Monty Python reference for the win!
Click to viewZeldaQueen: Scott does... erm, get on the pool table, and the creepy guy points a gun at him. While Scott is quietly freaking out, Nora starts blathering on about how weird this all is
"Didn’t he know he couldn’t die? Didn’t he know he was Nephilim? But Patch had said he belonged to a Nephilim blood society-how could he not know?"
ZeldaQueen: Um, is it just me, or is that a rather awkward sentence structure? Those first two questions suggested that Nora found it odd that Scott did not know he was a Nephilim, and the third sentence is worded as contradicting those...even though it also is her thinking that it's odd that Scott doesn't know he's a Nephilim! What the fuck?
Also, Nora seems to be thinking rather rationally for someone in a pool hall full of worked-up pool-playing thugs, one of whom is clearly trigger-happy and pointing a gun at her alleged friend.
Nora then starts going on about how weird it is that no one is rushing the creepy guy, even though Scott's right and that they do outnumber him. Half a point for that, but that's working under the assumption that everyone in the hall knows that Scott is immortal. If you rush a person while they're pointing a gun at someone, it's extremely likely that that someone is going to get shot, especially by accident. Just because Nora's an idiot who leaps before she looks doesn't mean everyone else is.
Out of nowhere, and I do mean nowhere, Nora starts going on about how the creepy guy is just oozing unworldliness, and is giving her Weird Feelings which suggest he's a Nephilim or fallen angel. Considering that this is the first time we've heard that someone who might be not-human gives her weird feelings, it doesn't mean much. I mean, she actually heard Scott talking in her head and all but ignored it.
There's a random mention of Marcie looking completely lost at this all, and Nora holds our hands and reminds us that Marcie is a pleb who doesn't know about how uber-powerful Nephilim and fallen angels are. She tells us that "She should have learned her lesson at Bo’s and stayed home. And so should have I", and it's a mark of how misogynistic these books are that I'm annoyed by that quote. Marcie and Nora both have gone to dangerous places and should have learned to not go to more, but it sounds like it's saying "Wimmunz should stay in their homes where it's nice and safe, because they are delicate and should be wrapped in cotton, while the Big Strong Men get into fights and play pool". Of course, given that Nora most definitely does not learn her lesson and not go to obviously dangerous places, I'd say it also counts as a Sin Thine Ass Off.
The creepy guy rams a pool cue through the table that Scott's on, which totally isn't going to give him away as being not human. This sets everyone off, and a pool hall brawl breaks out. Ye-haw. I have no idea how much of a fight it would be, given that it's about thirty guys united against one dude, but we don't see details because Nora crawls out of there. She pauses only to tell us about a guy who has a gun holster strapped to his ankle (um, is that a common place for guns?), and is caught by Patch at the exit.
Patch gives Nora the keys to his Jeep and tells her to drive out of there ASAP. Okay, in all fairness I can understand this. There's a frigging brawl going on, and her going home is the safest course of action. And if Patch hadn't been such a chronic asshole, I could buy his shortness with her refusal to leave as panic. Nora, however, decides to be a brat and starts whining at him. While people are throwing bar stools and firing guns. What wonderful survival instincts this girl has! She decides to respond to Patch trying to get her to safety with "Quit acting like I’m a huge inconvenience! I never asked for your help!"
*folds hands patiently in front of her* Well Nora, maybe if you showed an iota of survival instinct, or maybe avoided places were murders recently happened, or even carried a can of mace, you wouldn't be such an inconvenience.
Of course, Patch being who he is, he is just as much an unlikable prick. Instead of telling her something like "I just want to get you to safety!" or "I don't want to see you get killed!" or any of the other logical points he could have made, he gives this
"I told you not to come tonight. You wouldn’t be an inconvenience if you’d listened. This isn’t your world-it’s mine. You’re so bent on proving you can handle it that you’re going to do something stupid and get yourself killed"
ZeldaQueen: In other words, he just came out and told Nora that she's a load and doesn't have a chance of measuring up to the Big Strong Men (seriously, she and Marcie are the only girls in there). Now granted, Nora is a load with the survival skills of a video game lemming, but Patch is supposed to love her more than anyone in the world. Why would he outright tell her "You're an inconvenience who ought to just listen to me, because I know best"? What is up with YA couples where the guy is constantly belittling and insulting the girl? It's not cute and it's not endearing! What, are couples that have respect for each other somehow out of vogue? God, now I really want to go back to Elder and Amy.
*is irate*
Onward.
Even though they're still in a building full of worked-up dudes who want to break things, Patch keeps Nora around to tell her how the creepy guy is, in fact, a Nephilim. He explains that the "deformity" on his throat is actually a "branding", and that it shows that he's deeply involved with a Nephilim blood society. Because it must be hammered home that Nephilim are a bunch of violent thugs who we are to think are unreasonable and unlikable. Yeah.
Nora, much like her idiot father, goes all horrified at the thought of someone having a burn mark on their throat, ohes teh noes! Christmas, how big was that thing? If it was at all like the one on the guy in the prologue, it was hardly noticable! Oh, and Nora theorizes that "like Chauncey, [the creepy guy] was evil".
Yes, you read that right. Nora just flatly referred to two guys that she hardly knew as "evil". She was told about how messed-up Chauncey was, and knows that it's likely that the creepy guy went through all the same things, and she just labels them "evil". Now, I could understand her being upset around Nephilim or coming to extreme conclusions because of what Chauncey did to her...except that she has hardly thought about her near-murder for most of this book. It's like it never happened to her. So no, if she shows no signs of actually being traumatized by the event, I'm not buying that as an excuse.
*strained smile* Go jump into a dump truck, Nora.
Right, back to the story. Somehow... the two of them are outside. Huh, when did that happen? Ah well, their little conversation is interrupted as the windows of the back door are knocked out. Patch tells Nora to head on home, and that he's going to be taking Marcie home. Nora, naturally, turns into a wibbling mess at this and whines that he should be looking after her because he's her guardian angel. His response to this?
"Patch sliced his eyes into mine. 'Not anymore, Angel'"
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* Oh no, oh no, what could this possible mean? It couldn't be that he's not her guardian angel anymore. Perish the thought.
Also, I wish that his eyes would slice into hers. At least her abruptly going blind would be a legitimate source of conflict to deal with.
Patch runs off and Nora starts driving his Jeep home. The entire time, we're treated to her whining nonstop. I'm dead serious. She just escaped from a bar brawl, knows that something really fishy is up with Scott, and was told that there's a *cough* group of radical Nephilim on the prowl, and she's fussing about Patch not paying attention to her every hour of the day. Dear lord, shoot me!
Oh, and doesn't seem to grasp the fact that she caused him to stop being her guardian angel when she told him she didn't want him as a guardian angel! Sweet Jiminy Cricket, is this idiot so used to having her requests ignored that she can't process when it does happen? Because all she's doing is thinking that Patch is joking or lying about not being her guardian, because it totally isn't that he really isn't her guardian anymore. God
"I’d told him exactly why I’d done it, and he was hanging it over my head, as if this whole mess was somehow my fault. As if this was what I wanted! This was more his fault than mine. I had the urge to run back and tell him I wasn’ t helpless. I wasn’t a pawn in his big, bad world. And I wasn’t blind. I could see well enough to know something was going on between him and Marcie. In fact, I was now all but certain something was. Forget it. I was better off without him. He was slime. A jerk. An untrustworthy jerk. I didn’t need him-for anything"
ZeldaQueen: No, Nora, you didn't tell him "exactly" why you broke up with him. You told him that you were dumping him because you didn't like that he couldn't feel you when you were making out with him. You didn't tell him "I'm breaking up with you because I'm afraid I'll keep tempting you and get you sent to Hell". And no, don't anybody tell me that Patch could figure it out or whatnot. There's been no in-text evidence to suggest that he did, and Nora still is acting like she was completely honest, which she most assuredly was not.
I do so love how she is getting all pissed at Patch for this mess, but never gets angry with him for stalking her repeatedly through and before the events of Hush, Hush. Because you know, if he truly loved her, it seems to me that he would have spared her all of this by not getting her tangled up in it. Of course, we know why he did. It's because he's a selfish asshat and no one in this book seems able to notice.
Nora dearest, I'm terribly sorry but you are pretty much helpless. Your Suethor has done a lot to ensure it, because she loves writing the Big Strong Patch swooping in to save you. If you would just connect your nonexistent spine to your very tiny brain though, I'm sure you'll start to catch up.
And why the ever-loving Hell is Nora only now getting so shocked by the idea that another woman is interested in Patch? It was firmly established in the last book that women hang off of him like ornaments on a Christmas tree of smug assholery. Now, Nora is seeing Marcie hanging onto Patch like an ornament on a Christmas tree of smug assholery and this gets her thinking that somethings unusual? And I've already ranted about how Patch's behavior makes it more likely that he's going to kill Marcie in the middle of the night rather than cheat on Nora with her, so I won't repeat myself.
Finally, yes Nora, you have the right idea. Patch is a slimy jerk, and you are better off without him. I can't enjoy this bit of sanity though, because (A) she's pissed about this and not him stalking her and manipulating her and being a horrible jerk to her and (B) because I know that we're all supposed to be going "No Nora, don't give up! Patch will surely see the error of his ways and go back to you!"
I hate the world.
Nora finally gets home and is a little bit shakey. Yes, that's a believable reaction to nearly getting killed in a bar brawl. She tells us that it's weird that she feels alone and uncomfortable in the Jeep, because it "had always been a place of refuge". Good of you to tell us that, seeing as there's been no evidence at all in the text!
Nora starts to cry not because she just went through the stressful and traumatic experience of watching her friend nearly getting shot (seriously, does she even remember that Scott exists?) but because Patch drove Marcie home. The horror, the horror. I forget the mayanaise. She continues to wangst and sob until the gas meter has dropped half a bar (because apparently she was either too lazy to turn off the car, or was trying to kill herself with carbon monoxide poisoning), and that's when she looks up and sees Patch standing on her porch, like the creeper he is.
She actually starts to cry with relief that he's shown up (good grief) not because she was worried about him, but because she wanted him to check in on her. She then starts slapping us with Dead Herrings
"But I was driving his Jeep. He’d most likely come to take it back. After the way he’d treated me tonight, I couldn’t believe there was any other reason"
ZeldaQueen: Because Fitzpatrick, like Meyer, seems to think that childish bitchiness is a decent character trait. I could understand Nora being pissed that Patch is a condescending asshat to her, but he was a condescending asshat to her in Hush, Hush and the entire thing was either played for laughs or meant to be sexy. Let's be realistic here, Nora's idea of unfair treatment is that Patch asked her to leave a dangerous area and expected her to do it herself, because he was getting another person to safety. And that being the case, Nora is little better than Bella "Why Didn't You Just Let That Truck Run Over Me?" Swan.
Patch crawls into the Jeep and asks Nora if she's alright. Nora gives a very brief moment to be freaked out by what happened and worry about Scott. She then goes right back to being mentally bitchy about Marcie. Good God, but I feel sorry for that girl! Nora wonders if Marcie escaped the fight, and then thinks "Of course she had. Patch had seemed bent on making sure of it".
*stares* Okay. Now it might just be me having read too many comics, but saying that a person is "bent on" something tends to imply that they are determined to do something cruel or stupid or just plain wrong. I really can't think of using that phrase for something with positive connotations. And...Nora just used it to describe Patch saving Marcie from possibly dying.
In other words, she just implied that it was wrong or stupid of Patch to try to keep Marcie safe. After Marcie had already been hospitalized for a knife wound.
Um...I really can't think of too much to say to that. Well, except that this just makes the archangels' desire to separate Patch and Nora even more understandable. Not only is Patch not doing his job while looking after her, but she clearly is needy to the point of being psychotic and expresses insane levels of jealousy when Patch does try to do his job, namely saving people.
Moving on. Patch explains to Nora that the Nephilim waving the gun around was fundraising for the group he is a member of. He pauses to bitch about how he has no idea what they want to money for, that his being an angel puts him at a disadvantage when it comes to infiltrating their group, and "They’re not going to let me within a mile of the operation".
Patch. You moron. You know what their goal is! THEY WANT TO STOP BEING POSSESSED BY FALLEN ANGELS! Instead of whining about how you can't spy on them, why don't you do something useful, like getting rid of the fallen angels? There is not a single reason why those assholes should stay on Earth! They aren't doing some divine mission and they're not working for redemption! Hell, even by human standards, they aren't living decent or productive lives! In other words, your problem is that there is an uprising that can be stopped if you simply track down and get rid of a group of beings that are doing absolutely nothing of value, and who you already should be pissed off at. Really, this should not be a problem!
And yes Patch, Heaven forbid the Nephilim not let you into their little shindig. It's not like you kept a Nephilim slave of your own, for the past century or so. They're just so unreasonable to want to keep you out!
Nora briefly wonders if Patch is hinting that he needs her help spying on the Nephilim. She's not bothered in the least by this, that he might want her to help take down a group that just wants to be free from possession and mind rape. No, the only thing that bothers her is that it looks like he likely isn't asking for her help, because she's basically a human and has very little Nephilim blood in her. I fail to see what that has to do with anything. It's basically just a really awkward info-dump about Nora's ancestry, for people who were fortunate enough to have not read the first book.
We then get Nora asking how come Scott and the creepy guy didn't recognize each other, if they were in the same organization. Patch explains this, and it is extremely stupid
"My best guess right now is that whoever’s running the society is separating the individual members to keep them in the dark. Without solidarity, the chances of a coup are low. More than that, if they don’t know how strong they are, the Nephilim can’t leak that information to the enemy. Fallen angels can’t get information if the society members themselves know nothing"
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I will admit that the second point makes sense, especially given the fallen angels can mindrape their Nephilim slaves. The first point though? How the heck does that work? So...the members don't know who else is in the group with them? I... that's stupid! How is the group supposed to be the least bit productive? What's the point of forming a group if they're not unified against a common enemy? If they knew who the fellow members of the group were, then they wouldn't be threatening their own allies with weapons, like the creepy guy did with Scott!
Of course, it also makes that branding thing rather stupid. So the members are divided up so that they don't know who else is in the group. If that's the case, why the fuck would the leader give them all a very visible mark to identify them as members of the group? And if the marks weren't meant to be seen, why put them on? Just for the fun of it? It makes no sense!
And "chances of a coup"? Why would there be a coup? This isn't a political organization! They're trying to get rid of the fallen angels! I have yet to see any evidence that this group would even be around if the fallen angels weren't possessing them!
LORD, this is stupid!
ZeldaQueen: God God.
Consider yourself fortunate that you have ZeldaQueen to abuse, for no sane sporker would tolerate it!
And apparently Fitzpatrick heard me, because Nora gives us this
"Part of me abhorred the idea of fallen angels possessing the bodies of Nephilim every Cheshvan. A less noble part of me was grateful they were targeting Nephilim and not humans. Not me. Not anyone I loved"
ZeldaQueen: GET. RID. OF. THE. FUCKING. FALLEN. ANGELS. WHY IS THIS A PROBLEM?
And Nora is still a selfish, sociopathic bint. That's so great to know.
Speaking of which, guess what time it is? That's right, time to bitch about Marcie again! I bet you all were eager to get back to that! Nora starts poking at Patch driving her home, and when he doesn't take the bait, she outright asks about Marcie clinging to him. Patch's response?
"Marcie’s sense of personal space is nonexistent"
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me for one moment, ladies and gentlemen.
*THE VERY FAST KILLING OF MANY*
Sorry about that. Apparently I was supposed to just sit there and think it's fine for Patch to bash Marcie for having no sense of personal space, after he chased Nora around a parking garage, held her down on a motel bed while she screamed, and stood right up against her in the girl's room and ignored her while she repeatedly told him to give her space. Clearly, I could not.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 21
ZeldaQueen: That's one for Patch and one for Fitzpatrick pulling that disgusting double standard.
Oh, and does Nora call him out on that? No, she does not. Instead, she gets all pissy and asks "So you’re an expert on Marcie now?"
*stares*
*swells with fury*
ACCORDING TO YOU, MARCIE HITS ON ANYTHING THAT WALKS! HOW IS PATCH STATING WHAT IS APPARENTLY THE BLOODY OBVIOUS SOME SIGN THAT HE'S BEING INTIMATE WITH HER???
For some reason, this gets Patch really angry. Honestly, I don't know why. Nora has been going on nonstop about how he has surely been secretly having a fling with Marcie since he was caught staring in her window. How is this any different? Nonsensical or not though, it still is really creepy. We're told how his eyes go all dark and it sounds like he's going to slap a bitch for displeasing him. Fitzpatrick, why do you think this guy is sexy? He's most assuredly not!
Patch actually does remind Nora that women are uncontrollably attracted to him, for whatever reason, and says that "It’s not the first time a girl has done that, and it probably won’t be the last". Nora responds to this by... telling Patch that he should have pushed Marcie away.
In other words, she thinks that if Patch really wanted to prove that he loved her and her only, he would push away girls who did so much as touch him. Because really, that's what Marcie did. She hugged him, gesture that can easily be just as much platonic as romantic. And Nora, who supposedly loves Patch more than anyone in the world and knows him so well, hears him swear right and left that it didn't mean anything, and just says that if it really didn't mean anything to him that he - a super powerful angel - should have shoved a defenseless girl over.
Not to mention that in this series full of assault and Do Not Want, Nora just pretty much said "Well you could have stopped her from inappropriately touching you if you really wanted to. Since you didn't, you must have actually wanted it."
Moving on, before I begin heaving. Nora next begins to bitch about how Patch rescued Marcie from the pool hall. OH JESUS CHRIST. Nora, you said that Marcie was the only one in there who had no super powers and had no clue what was going on! Patch did a very basic show of decency, getting her away from the blunt objects and knives and flying bullets. ARE YOU HONESTLY SAYING THAT YOU THINK HIM KEEPING SOMEONE FROM DYING IS A SIGN THAT HE WANTS TO BONE HER AND, BY EXTENSION, THAT IF HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH AND HAD NO FEELINGS FOR HER, HE SHOULD HAVE LEFT HER TO POSSIBLY DIE?
MY GOD, YOU ARE.
FUCK.
ME!
*pants furiously* I am going to finish this chapter, I will, by God, I will!
Out of nowhere, Nora tells Patch that she had a dream about Marcie's dad. Yes, it really is that abrupt. Even Nora the Clueless realizes that it's random. She handwaves it by figuring that she brought it up "to communicate to Patch that my pain was so raw it had even entered my dreams" because "dreams are a way of reconciling what’s happening in our lives, and if that was true, my dream was definitely telling me I hadn’t come to terms with whatever was going on between Patch and Marcie. Not if I was dreaming about fallen angels and Cheshvan. Not if I was dreaming about Marcie’s father".
I'm sorry, how does that make sense? Because you dreamed that Marcie's dad was being mindraped by angels it means that you think that Patch wants to boink Marcie? I...okay, I know that dreams often don't make sense. But for fuck's sake, Nora was completely aware during the dream! It went in a perfect linear story arc! There weren't any weird dream elements! What was there to suggest that it was supposed to be a trippy analogy to what was going on at that moment?
I mean, I already brought up how Harry Potter dealt with his clearly significant/prophetic dreams. Let's look at the other sorts of dreams he had, the ones which were regular dreams about stuff that he was stressed about. Let's use that one dream from Order of the Phoenix as an example, the one where he was having a fight with Cho in the Room of Requirement. Yes, it parallels what's going on in the story. Harry worries about his relationship with Cho, and is bothered by her continuing to bring up Cedric and how she keeps getting upset for things he doesn't get. Because of this, in the dream, Cho is getting angry at Harry for something he didn't do and is berating him for being inferior to Cedric. But at the same time, there are strange things happening that also parallel what's going on. For example, Hermione often would be the one to explain to Harry why Cho was upset with him, and what he should have done to make up for it. In the dream, Cho randomly transforms into Hermione, and the newly-arrived Hermione starts saying that the best way to make things up is to give Cho an object that Harry no longer owns.
That's it. It was brief, weird, and showed how Harry felt about what was going on.
Nora's dream? It wasn't like that at all. Maybe if the bar had dogs playing poker, or if Marcie's dad turned into Marcie, or if something bizarre happened to make it feel more like a dream, I could buy Nora thinking that it was a result of her fussing over Marcie. But no, Fitzpatrick made it ridiculously obvious that it's a Symbolik Dream, and thus those of us with brains know that it is not just a reflection of Nora's mental state.
*sighs* Moving on. Nora describes the dream, and Patch shows a lot of interest in it. Nora, being the witless wonder that she is, has no clue in the world why this would unsettle Patch so much. I mean, it's not like she has been introduced to a world of mindrape and telepathy, where, say, someone could plant memories or scenes in one's head for a specific purpose! It's also not like it's possible that Patch, who hung around with fallen angels that tortured Nephilim, and who would likely have been kicking around England in the 1800s, might have found that dream to be familiar.
Of course, Patch doesn't actually tell Nora anything. If he did that, Fitzpatrick would have to further the plot, because she couldn't use her characters' stupidity as a crutch. Instead, he randomly offers to walk through Nora's house, to make sure it's safe. I don't know why. She's given zero signs of being afraid of going inside. Nora, bitchy as ever, bristles at this, and reminds Patch that they're through and she doesn't need him doing stuff for her. She wangsts a lot, going on about the lump in her throat, and how her vision is "smeared" with tears as she goes inside, and how she wants to dream about Patch coming back to her, but woe he will not, and dear LORD, make it end!
Thankfully, this is the end of the chapter. Nora finds a message on the answering machine from her mother, who apparently is coming home unexpectedly early and will be back soon. Nora finishes the chapter by informing us how "I had only one more hour alone". Would you like me to break out the World's Smallest Violin, Nora?
And with that, we finish the chapter. Dear God, but I'm irate!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 21
Onward to: Chapter 7
Return to: Chapter 5
Back to: Table of Contents