Hush, Hush: Chapter 13
ZeldaQueen: Hey guys! I know the last few chapters have been a little dull, but don't worry! Patch is back! Feel free to hide under your beds now!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 13
ZeldaQueen: It's the following night at seven, Vee and Nora are putting their plan to investigate Patch's workplace into action, and I already must call time. One day. It has been one day since Vee has been in the hospital and had surgery and been doped up on pain medication and recovered from a broken arm and a concussion, among other things! And she's already out of the hospital, with no medication of any sort, no mention of a cast, and no signs of recovering from heavy injury??? I mean...what? I...guess someone could get out of the hospital that quickly, but no recovery? No pain medication? It's not like the book has particularly given the impression that Vee's family couldn't afford to fill any prescriptions? Oh, and I'd like to nominate Vee's parents for the Worst Parents of the Year award, because apparently they're just fine with their daughter skipping off to a restaurant with only her friend, the very day after she got out of surgery. It's handwaved as taking a lot of convincing, but still!
*rubs head* So yeah, Nora and Vee go to the restaurant, with their plan ready. Apparently they were going to emulate Bella Swan and flirt with the staff, in an attempt to find out where Patch lives and whether or not he has been arrested before.
You know, I have to wonder why these idiot heroine types always go to flirting first and foremost to find stuff out. Whatever happened to just asking friendly-like? Also, there's a not-so-subtle swipe at Marcie Miller (who in no way relates to this scene at all), suggesting that this was the sort of thing she'd do. Yes, flirting is an slutty, horrible thing that only the mean bitches do. For shame. *rolls eyes*
Nora is very nervous by this all, and I have to ask why she feels the need to take this all to such ridiculous levels. It's pretty clear that Vee is just making the plan overly-elaborate because it amuses her. Anyway, Nora has a sheet of paper with her questions on one side and a prompt for flirting tips on the other. Okay then.
Before they go into the restaurant, Vee tosses Nora a bag with sharkskin five-inch heels. Oh, this sounds fantastic. It seems that Vee plans to up their chances of success by getting themselves to look the part. Because it's impossible to flirt in flats, oh yes. My high school Homecoming memories are all lies, it seems. First my real name and now this. This book is just exposing so many falsehoods about myself that I was unaware of!
So of course Nora agrees to go along with this, and it's painfully obvious that Fitzpatrick is setting up for a "funny" klutzy scene. Vee then drops another bombshell - that she invited Jules and Elliot along. Because that won't make the plan more difficult, bringing along two guys who have no idea what's going on or what you're doing!
And no, Nora never gets a chance to tell Vee that Elliot may or may not be a murderer, or that he acted in a threatening way to her earlier. Vee tells Nora that she's secretly dating Jules, mainly because he lives in a huge house and "His parents are either South American drug lords or come from serious old money". She also has never met his parents, which I think would be more effective SUBTLE FORESHADOWING if having parents was at all standard in this book.
Nora literally grabs Vee and desperately tries to warn her about the online article, and Vee is a stupid twerp and is all "Ha ha, you have Elliot and Patch mixed up!" And while I'd normally congratulate Vee on growing a brain and telling Nora to keep away from Patch, she's still being a horrible friend. Nora clearly is upset about being with Elliot, she thinks he tried to attack her, and not only does Vee secretly invite him along, but she then laughs off and ignores her friend's obvious distress.
And no, Nora still doesn't get two seconds to say "I read an article implicating Elliot of murder". Instead, she is dragged into the restaurant, where Elliot is standing behind the waitress. Nora goes all dry-mouthed at the sight of him, and he starts to act like a terrifying creeper. He explains that Jules isn't there because he's sick "as in it's coming out both ends". I must say, that's a description I've never heard before and could stand to never hear again.
Vee, of course, completely misses Nora being terrified and Elliot being creepy. They all sit down, while Nora ponders Vee hooking up with Jules. I personally would be confused because while she's all but draped herself over him, he has done nothing but ignore her. Instead, Nora thinks that Jules seems unsafe, if only because he's close friends with Elliot and is sullen and withdrawn. And yes, Nora harps on Vee dating Jules far more than necessary, making this SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as well.
The hostess sits them down, and Elliot makes a comment about liking things hot. Nora gives us this hypocritical remark
"I was pretty sure he was being slimy. I'd been way too generous in thinking he wasn't as low as Marcie. I'd been way too generous about his character, period"
ZeldaQueen: Nora, sweetie? The reason you were "way too generous" was because he wasn't low and slimy before. That's character derailment, not you being a bad judge! Way to confuse your readers, Fitzpatrick. Why not just come out and say "If a guy seems nice, don't trust him! He's probably a slimy jerk and a murderer to boot!"
Also, whenever Patch makes sexual comments like that, you swoon. When Elliot makes comments like that, you consider him inhumanly slimy. Yes, I know she's distrustful because of the murder bit, but it still feels like a double standard.
Elliot continues to be creepy and we're hammered over the head with how his eyes are full of hostility and resentment towards Nora. Nora starts trying to verbally corner him, by asking about his previous school. Vee is generally stupid and unhelpful. Anyway, Nora asks why he transferred if the previous school was so great. He makes a crack about the girls being hotter in their area and winks at her, which freaks her out.
Now, if Nora remembered, she could have brought up the fact that he apparently forgot his own cover story, namely that he left his previous school because he lost a scholarship. Instead, Vee asks why Jules didn't transfer as well. Elliot says that Jules' family is super-intense about his education, which causes Vee to go all dreamy-eyed. Elliot also spins some tale about how Jules' parents travel a lot for business and are in the diamond trade, mainly in Africa and Australia. Nora mentally calls that out as bullshit, thinking that Australia doesn't have any diamonds. Huh, a few people will be surprised at that. Nora tries to press why Jules is living in Maine instead of Africa, and Elliot dodges the question in a very obvious way. Vee, continuing to be stupid, makes a very obvious comment about how the son of people in the diamond industry should know a lot about engagement rings, and announcing what kind of cut diamond she'd like on hers.
This all ends when the waitress brings them their drinks, which is Nora's cue to slip off into the bathroom. She tries to get Vee to go with her, because she's afraid of leaving Vee alone with Elliot. Vee does not pick up on this, and there's a very odd argument which leaves Elliot wondering why Nora is so desperate for company on a quick trip to the ladies room.
Nora finally gives up and leaves, sneaking off with her bag of costume stuff. Oh yeah besides the high-heeled shoes, Nora will be dressing up in "One platinum blond wig, one purple push-up bra, one black tube top, one sequined miniskirt, hot pink fishnet tights", and all topped off with a lot of make-up. WHY IS THIS ALL NECESSARY???
There's another swipe at Marcie Millar (complete with the lovely implication that by flirting with someone, Nora is lowering herself a level) before Nora plucks up her courage and goes over to the bar. She assures the bartender that she's waiting for a friend, and slips out her list of questions/flirting tips. Unsurprisingly, the bartender quickly figures out that she's up to something. She still manages to get into the questioning though. She is unable to verify if he was working on Sunday (which would rule out whether or not he attacked Vee), and unsurprisingly the bartender refuses to let her see Patch's job application. Nora decides to throw caution to the wind at this point and starts outright asking the bartender if Patch has had any arrests, if he has a history of stalking, and (inexplicably) if he has a girlfriend. And then...oh lord, this is not going to be pleasant
"'Go ask him,' he said.
I blinked. 'He's not working tonight.'
At the bartender's grin, my stomach seemed to unravel.
'He's not working tonight ... is he?' I asked, my voice inching up an octave. 'He's supposed to have Tuesdays off!'
'Usually, yeah. But he's covering for Benji. Benji went to the hospital. Ruptured appendix.'
'You mean Patch is here? Right now?' I glanced over my shoulder, brushing the wig to cover my profile while I scanned the dining area for him.
'He walked back to the kitchen a couple minutes ago.'"
ZeldaQueen: That? Just seriously creeped me out. I don't know, I think it just hit it into me she can't get away from him. No matter which way Nora turns in this book, he's always one step ahead. He's following her everywhere. There's no way she can gain the upper hand on him.
Okay, really scared now. And it gets worse, ladies and gentlemen. It gets worse.
Nora runs back to the bathroom and starts splashing cold water on her face and seriously is scared because she knows that Patch will find out what she was doing. You know, given that they're going to end up a couple, it is not a good thing that their...erm courtship basically involves the sentiment "He'll punish me for doing something he disapproves of". While musing about everything, Nora shuts off the water and straightens up and sees Patch's reflection in the mirror. She screams, and I nearly did to. WHAT THE FUCK?
We're told that "He wasn't smiling, and he didn't look particularly amused". Nora asks what the flip he's doing in the ladies room, and he accuses her of spying on him. Ohhhhh that's rich, you stalking bastard! To Nora's credit, she calls him out on that, as well as telling him that she was just taking Vee out to celebrate her release from the hospital. This loses a good bit of power though, because we're told how she sounds defensive and guilty and I expect him to slap her for disobeying him at any minute.
Patch asks her "Want to explain the tacky hair?" Oh dear Patch, did your woman dress in a way that you do not approve of? Fuck you, you asshole. If she wants to wear a gorilla suit, she can do as she damned well pleases! Nora does not point that out, and instead takes off the wig as she demands to know where he's been for the past two days. Patch replies that he's been playing paintball, because I think that paintball and pool are the only "bad boy" things Fitzpatrick can think of. He asks Nora to tell him what she was doing, and she tells him that she was talking to the bartender, which was perfectly legal.
While they're discussing all of this, Nora bends over to take off the high heels. As she leans over, her list of questions and flirting prompts falls on the floor. Being the arrogant douche he is, Patch snatches them away from her and reads them, ignoring her asking for the list back. He laughs at the question of whether or not he has a girlfriend, and tells her that if she wants to know things about him, she only has to ask. Excuse me.
YOU NEVER ANSWER WHEN SHE ASKS, YOU BUNGHOLE!!!
Sorry, sorry. Nora tries to insist that the entire thing was a joke Vee cooked up, and he of course does not believe that. He tells her that he has no felonies or arrests and I guess he's proven so trustworthy in the past that his word is all it takes, of course. Nora asks if he has a girlfriend, and he says that it's none of her business. *sighs* 'Scuse me for one other moment.
SEE WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT YOUR ANSWERING, NUMBNUTS?
Okay, I'm done! Really! Nora makes the very valid point that it's her business if he has a girlfriend considering that he made out with her. After smirking and being a dick, Patch tells her that he has an ex-girlfriend, and who wants to bet that this is important? I have to agree with shaolina. Exes are always evil in these stories. And sure enough, Nora figures that the female stalker was said ex-girlfriend! But Patch says it can't be her, because she's not around anymore. And he doesn't deny it when Nora asks if she's dead. So the ex is dead, right? Right?
Someone starts rattling on the bathroom doorknob, and Nora remembers that she locked it. She vaguely realizes that Patch got into a locked room without unlocking it, but decides that she doesn't want to consider the implications of that. IDIOT!
Patch unlocks the door to get back to work, but not before making a crude comment about Nora's skirt and legs. The woman trying to get into the bathroom does not make a comment on how odd it is that a guy just came out of the women's room. Instead, she notes to Nora that he looks "slippery as soap" and "A girl could lather up in soap like that". Fantastic. We can add old grey-haired women to the list of women lusting after Patch.
Nora returns to her table, and Elliot slips immediately into creepy mode again. Nora makes an excuse that she feels sick, and that she's going to box her meal to go. Amazingly, Vee takes the hint and leaves with her and there we end
Onward to: Chapter 14
Back to: Chapter 12
Return to to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 13
ZeldaQueen: It's the following night at seven, Vee and Nora are putting their plan to investigate Patch's workplace into action, and I already must call time. One day. It has been one day since Vee has been in the hospital and had surgery and been doped up on pain medication and recovered from a broken arm and a concussion, among other things! And she's already out of the hospital, with no medication of any sort, no mention of a cast, and no signs of recovering from heavy injury??? I mean...what? I...guess someone could get out of the hospital that quickly, but no recovery? No pain medication? It's not like the book has particularly given the impression that Vee's family couldn't afford to fill any prescriptions? Oh, and I'd like to nominate Vee's parents for the Worst Parents of the Year award, because apparently they're just fine with their daughter skipping off to a restaurant with only her friend, the very day after she got out of surgery. It's handwaved as taking a lot of convincing, but still!
*rubs head* So yeah, Nora and Vee go to the restaurant, with their plan ready. Apparently they were going to emulate Bella Swan and flirt with the staff, in an attempt to find out where Patch lives and whether or not he has been arrested before.
You know, I have to wonder why these idiot heroine types always go to flirting first and foremost to find stuff out. Whatever happened to just asking friendly-like? Also, there's a not-so-subtle swipe at Marcie Miller (who in no way relates to this scene at all), suggesting that this was the sort of thing she'd do. Yes, flirting is an slutty, horrible thing that only the mean bitches do. For shame. *rolls eyes*
Nora is very nervous by this all, and I have to ask why she feels the need to take this all to such ridiculous levels. It's pretty clear that Vee is just making the plan overly-elaborate because it amuses her. Anyway, Nora has a sheet of paper with her questions on one side and a prompt for flirting tips on the other. Okay then.
Before they go into the restaurant, Vee tosses Nora a bag with sharkskin five-inch heels. Oh, this sounds fantastic. It seems that Vee plans to up their chances of success by getting themselves to look the part. Because it's impossible to flirt in flats, oh yes. My high school Homecoming memories are all lies, it seems. First my real name and now this. This book is just exposing so many falsehoods about myself that I was unaware of!
So of course Nora agrees to go along with this, and it's painfully obvious that Fitzpatrick is setting up for a "funny" klutzy scene. Vee then drops another bombshell - that she invited Jules and Elliot along. Because that won't make the plan more difficult, bringing along two guys who have no idea what's going on or what you're doing!
And no, Nora never gets a chance to tell Vee that Elliot may or may not be a murderer, or that he acted in a threatening way to her earlier. Vee tells Nora that she's secretly dating Jules, mainly because he lives in a huge house and "His parents are either South American drug lords or come from serious old money". She also has never met his parents, which I think would be more effective SUBTLE FORESHADOWING if having parents was at all standard in this book.
Nora literally grabs Vee and desperately tries to warn her about the online article, and Vee is a stupid twerp and is all "Ha ha, you have Elliot and Patch mixed up!" And while I'd normally congratulate Vee on growing a brain and telling Nora to keep away from Patch, she's still being a horrible friend. Nora clearly is upset about being with Elliot, she thinks he tried to attack her, and not only does Vee secretly invite him along, but she then laughs off and ignores her friend's obvious distress.
And no, Nora still doesn't get two seconds to say "I read an article implicating Elliot of murder". Instead, she is dragged into the restaurant, where Elliot is standing behind the waitress. Nora goes all dry-mouthed at the sight of him, and he starts to act like a terrifying creeper. He explains that Jules isn't there because he's sick "as in it's coming out both ends". I must say, that's a description I've never heard before and could stand to never hear again.
Vee, of course, completely misses Nora being terrified and Elliot being creepy. They all sit down, while Nora ponders Vee hooking up with Jules. I personally would be confused because while she's all but draped herself over him, he has done nothing but ignore her. Instead, Nora thinks that Jules seems unsafe, if only because he's close friends with Elliot and is sullen and withdrawn. And yes, Nora harps on Vee dating Jules far more than necessary, making this SUBTLE FORESHADOWING as well.
The hostess sits them down, and Elliot makes a comment about liking things hot. Nora gives us this hypocritical remark
"I was pretty sure he was being slimy. I'd been way too generous in thinking he wasn't as low as Marcie. I'd been way too generous about his character, period"
ZeldaQueen: Nora, sweetie? The reason you were "way too generous" was because he wasn't low and slimy before. That's character derailment, not you being a bad judge! Way to confuse your readers, Fitzpatrick. Why not just come out and say "If a guy seems nice, don't trust him! He's probably a slimy jerk and a murderer to boot!"
Also, whenever Patch makes sexual comments like that, you swoon. When Elliot makes comments like that, you consider him inhumanly slimy. Yes, I know she's distrustful because of the murder bit, but it still feels like a double standard.
Elliot continues to be creepy and we're hammered over the head with how his eyes are full of hostility and resentment towards Nora. Nora starts trying to verbally corner him, by asking about his previous school. Vee is generally stupid and unhelpful. Anyway, Nora asks why he transferred if the previous school was so great. He makes a crack about the girls being hotter in their area and winks at her, which freaks her out.
Now, if Nora remembered, she could have brought up the fact that he apparently forgot his own cover story, namely that he left his previous school because he lost a scholarship. Instead, Vee asks why Jules didn't transfer as well. Elliot says that Jules' family is super-intense about his education, which causes Vee to go all dreamy-eyed. Elliot also spins some tale about how Jules' parents travel a lot for business and are in the diamond trade, mainly in Africa and Australia. Nora mentally calls that out as bullshit, thinking that Australia doesn't have any diamonds. Huh, a few people will be surprised at that. Nora tries to press why Jules is living in Maine instead of Africa, and Elliot dodges the question in a very obvious way. Vee, continuing to be stupid, makes a very obvious comment about how the son of people in the diamond industry should know a lot about engagement rings, and announcing what kind of cut diamond she'd like on hers.
This all ends when the waitress brings them their drinks, which is Nora's cue to slip off into the bathroom. She tries to get Vee to go with her, because she's afraid of leaving Vee alone with Elliot. Vee does not pick up on this, and there's a very odd argument which leaves Elliot wondering why Nora is so desperate for company on a quick trip to the ladies room.
Nora finally gives up and leaves, sneaking off with her bag of costume stuff. Oh yeah besides the high-heeled shoes, Nora will be dressing up in "One platinum blond wig, one purple push-up bra, one black tube top, one sequined miniskirt, hot pink fishnet tights", and all topped off with a lot of make-up. WHY IS THIS ALL NECESSARY???
There's another swipe at Marcie Millar (complete with the lovely implication that by flirting with someone, Nora is lowering herself a level) before Nora plucks up her courage and goes over to the bar. She assures the bartender that she's waiting for a friend, and slips out her list of questions/flirting tips. Unsurprisingly, the bartender quickly figures out that she's up to something. She still manages to get into the questioning though. She is unable to verify if he was working on Sunday (which would rule out whether or not he attacked Vee), and unsurprisingly the bartender refuses to let her see Patch's job application. Nora decides to throw caution to the wind at this point and starts outright asking the bartender if Patch has had any arrests, if he has a history of stalking, and (inexplicably) if he has a girlfriend. And then...oh lord, this is not going to be pleasant
"'Go ask him,' he said.
I blinked. 'He's not working tonight.'
At the bartender's grin, my stomach seemed to unravel.
'He's not working tonight ... is he?' I asked, my voice inching up an octave. 'He's supposed to have Tuesdays off!'
'Usually, yeah. But he's covering for Benji. Benji went to the hospital. Ruptured appendix.'
'You mean Patch is here? Right now?' I glanced over my shoulder, brushing the wig to cover my profile while I scanned the dining area for him.
'He walked back to the kitchen a couple minutes ago.'"
ZeldaQueen: That? Just seriously creeped me out. I don't know, I think it just hit it into me she can't get away from him. No matter which way Nora turns in this book, he's always one step ahead. He's following her everywhere. There's no way she can gain the upper hand on him.
Okay, really scared now. And it gets worse, ladies and gentlemen. It gets worse.
Nora runs back to the bathroom and starts splashing cold water on her face and seriously is scared because she knows that Patch will find out what she was doing. You know, given that they're going to end up a couple, it is not a good thing that their...erm courtship basically involves the sentiment "He'll punish me for doing something he disapproves of". While musing about everything, Nora shuts off the water and straightens up and sees Patch's reflection in the mirror. She screams, and I nearly did to. WHAT THE FUCK?
We're told that "He wasn't smiling, and he didn't look particularly amused". Nora asks what the flip he's doing in the ladies room, and he accuses her of spying on him. Ohhhhh that's rich, you stalking bastard! To Nora's credit, she calls him out on that, as well as telling him that she was just taking Vee out to celebrate her release from the hospital. This loses a good bit of power though, because we're told how she sounds defensive and guilty and I expect him to slap her for disobeying him at any minute.
Patch asks her "Want to explain the tacky hair?" Oh dear Patch, did your woman dress in a way that you do not approve of? Fuck you, you asshole. If she wants to wear a gorilla suit, she can do as she damned well pleases! Nora does not point that out, and instead takes off the wig as she demands to know where he's been for the past two days. Patch replies that he's been playing paintball, because I think that paintball and pool are the only "bad boy" things Fitzpatrick can think of. He asks Nora to tell him what she was doing, and she tells him that she was talking to the bartender, which was perfectly legal.
While they're discussing all of this, Nora bends over to take off the high heels. As she leans over, her list of questions and flirting prompts falls on the floor. Being the arrogant douche he is, Patch snatches them away from her and reads them, ignoring her asking for the list back. He laughs at the question of whether or not he has a girlfriend, and tells her that if she wants to know things about him, she only has to ask. Excuse me.
YOU NEVER ANSWER WHEN SHE ASKS, YOU BUNGHOLE!!!
Sorry, sorry. Nora tries to insist that the entire thing was a joke Vee cooked up, and he of course does not believe that. He tells her that he has no felonies or arrests and I guess he's proven so trustworthy in the past that his word is all it takes, of course. Nora asks if he has a girlfriend, and he says that it's none of her business. *sighs* 'Scuse me for one other moment.
SEE WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT YOUR ANSWERING, NUMBNUTS?
Okay, I'm done! Really! Nora makes the very valid point that it's her business if he has a girlfriend considering that he made out with her. After smirking and being a dick, Patch tells her that he has an ex-girlfriend, and who wants to bet that this is important? I have to agree with shaolina. Exes are always evil in these stories. And sure enough, Nora figures that the female stalker was said ex-girlfriend! But Patch says it can't be her, because she's not around anymore. And he doesn't deny it when Nora asks if she's dead. So the ex is dead, right? Right?
Someone starts rattling on the bathroom doorknob, and Nora remembers that she locked it. She vaguely realizes that Patch got into a locked room without unlocking it, but decides that she doesn't want to consider the implications of that. IDIOT!
Patch unlocks the door to get back to work, but not before making a crude comment about Nora's skirt and legs. The woman trying to get into the bathroom does not make a comment on how odd it is that a guy just came out of the women's room. Instead, she notes to Nora that he looks "slippery as soap" and "A girl could lather up in soap like that". Fantastic. We can add old grey-haired women to the list of women lusting after Patch.
Nora returns to her table, and Elliot slips immediately into creepy mode again. Nora makes an excuse that she feels sick, and that she's going to box her meal to go. Amazingly, Vee takes the hint and leaves with her and there we end
Onward to: Chapter 14
Back to: Chapter 12
Return to to: Table of Contents