(no subject)
Hunny has been a constant in my life since I was five. My first memories are from when I was three, so that essentially means there are approximately two years of memories that he wasn't a part of, and those two years were before I even knew how to read (what even is memory when you're three and four?). 85% of my recollected lifetime include Hunny. I grew up with him. He lived with us in four different houses. Through most of my years of schooling. Through pain and loss and happiness. He was a significant member of our family and a significant being in my life.
When our other pets passed -Chester, Amber, Buddy- we were devastated, but I remembered them by putting pictures of them wherever I could, so I could look at them and remember, no matter how painful. I can't even THINK about Hunny's little face and his soft, fluffy fur without feeling like my heart is being ripped from my chest and my soul is turning into ash. Just being reminded that I will NEVER see him again, or touch him, press my face into his fur, or kiss him, or pet him, or tell him how much I love him devastates me.
I've been lucky to not lose any major members of my family. Even my grandmother, who passed away almost ten years ago, wasn't someone I was particularly close to (besides, I was twelve, what was death to me?) Hunny, though. He was a major member of my family, a major part of my life, and now I am forever parted from him and it hurts, more than any other pain I've felt.
There's no where in my house I can walk without finding myself frozen in place at the thought that he will never be there again. Jacob's room, my room, the hallway, the living room, the kitchen, the place in front of the door where he always used to lie down in the sun, waiting for food. Everything reminds of him and I hate it.
His passing is the worst experience of my entire life, and I'd give anything to hold him again.
I know I can't, so I'll have to be content to wait until the day I join him in Heaven.
I love you, Hunny.
When our other pets passed -Chester, Amber, Buddy- we were devastated, but I remembered them by putting pictures of them wherever I could, so I could look at them and remember, no matter how painful. I can't even THINK about Hunny's little face and his soft, fluffy fur without feeling like my heart is being ripped from my chest and my soul is turning into ash. Just being reminded that I will NEVER see him again, or touch him, press my face into his fur, or kiss him, or pet him, or tell him how much I love him devastates me.
I've been lucky to not lose any major members of my family. Even my grandmother, who passed away almost ten years ago, wasn't someone I was particularly close to (besides, I was twelve, what was death to me?) Hunny, though. He was a major member of my family, a major part of my life, and now I am forever parted from him and it hurts, more than any other pain I've felt.
There's no where in my house I can walk without finding myself frozen in place at the thought that he will never be there again. Jacob's room, my room, the hallway, the living room, the kitchen, the place in front of the door where he always used to lie down in the sun, waiting for food. Everything reminds of him and I hate it.
His passing is the worst experience of my entire life, and I'd give anything to hold him again.
I know I can't, so I'll have to be content to wait until the day I join him in Heaven.
I love you, Hunny.