The Dread Pirate Spled
The intrepid Dread Pirate Spled peered from his flagship, the Poodlebum, as more flotsam came into view.
“It looks like some logs got washed off-shore during that storm, Cap’n. We should be careful so that they don’t damage the hull.”
“Good spotting there, First Mate Phleebhut. We need to also avoid the dreaded monster which is known to prowl these seas. Keep an eye for him too!”
“Ten-four, Cap’n. Over and out.”
“Uh, you don’t need to sign off like that, Phleebhut. We are talking straight to each other.”
“Roger Roger, Wilco.”
“We’re in the 17th century, First Mate. We don’t talk like that.”
“Oh, sorry, Cap’n. Aye aye and a barrel full of rum.”
“That’s much better. Speaking of rum, pull out some of those drinks that we got at our last port of call. I’m a wee bit thirsty.”
“Roger, uh, aye aye Cap’n. Here you go.”
“Thank you, Phleebhut. That does hit the spot. Why are you making faces?”
“I don’t really like hot chocolate that much, Cap’n.”
“Oh well, your loss. Back to navigating.”
The Poodlebum deftly avoided the logs in the water and continued on its way. Wreckage of past ships which had not been so lucky swept by. Having cleared the worst of the garbage, soon a new, even more ominous obstacle loomed in the distance. Its white glare reeked of evil as its fluffiness absorbed the water and promised death and disaster.
“Wait, white and fluffy? Bobby, why is there a marshmallow in the pool?!?”
“Uh, Adia, I thought it would make a good iceberg or something.”
“The pirates are in the Caribbean, Bobby. There are no icebergs. You will learn that in two years when you are in second grade like me. Did that marshmallow come from your hot chocolate?”
“Yeah, I don’t like marshmallows at all. Plus, you know they float and stuff so maybe it could be a sea monster?”
“Sea monsters aren’t white and fluffy, Bobby. Well, I guess we can’t do anything about it now. Let’s continue. It can be a special island or something.”
“Roger Roger, Cap’n”
“Whatever, Bobby…”
Dread Pirate Spled gazed at Bird Poop Island. Ah yes, from the secret treasure map. They just needed to turn starboard after the island and they would nearly be at the buried treasure. They had avoided the dreaded sea monster.
But Spled’s confidence was short-lived. The sea monster had found them after all and with one cruel swipe, the Poodlebum was headed to Davy Jones’ Locker.
“Burt, no! Bad dog, stop jumping in the pool”
Adia’s white poodle was paying no attention to the girl’s words, splashing and going after the wayward marshmallow with gusto, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.
“Auugghh, First Mate Phleebhut! The sea monster got us after all!”
“But, Adia, you said sea monsters can’t be white and fluffy.”
“Shut up, Bobby.”