Top 20 Danny & Steve Moments from Hawaii Five-0
Dedicated to my wonderful scifijunkie .
There were over 65 moments in 18 episodes that I had to narrow down to 20. That's what I call bromance.
20. That awkward moment when you discuss your partner's love life and then drug the suspect.
from episode 1.05 Nalowale
“Let’s have a couple of beers, get eyes on this place and relax.”
“Looks like this place got eyes on you.”
“Would you focus, please? Just once, just focus.”
“Wait a minute, let me ask you a question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Two very attractive ladies are eye-humping you, respectfully, and what? Nothing. I mean, what, should I check for a pulse? You alive? Hello!"
“What is that smile?”
“What smile?”
“That stupid smile. What is it with you today, huh?”
“You’re imagining things.”
“Oh, I’m imagining things. That’s right. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Some detective I am! You got into some Barry White last night, didn’t you? Huh? Am I right or am I right?”
“You’re very perceptive.”
“Thank you.”
...
“Dude, who do you think you are?”
“What’s that? Who do I think I am? I think I might be a guy who just saw another guy put something in a lady’s drink.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t put anything in her drink.”
“Then drink it.”
“What?”
“Then drink it.”
“Come here. Listen to me. Drink that drink or I’m gonna bust your teeth and pour it down your throat, okay?
“I would drink it.”
“Down the hatch. Big swallow, big swallow! Let’s go, lover boy.”
- - - - -
The way they are able to casually carry on a conversation in the midst of hunting down a suspect will never cease to amaze and amuse me. And, do I even have to mention Danny's obsession with reading the expressions on Steve's face? No, I probably don't.
19. That awkward moment when the man behind the gun in your face is your new best friend.
from episode 1.01 Pilot
"You, hands up! Don't move!"
"Who are you?!"
"I am Detective Danny Williams."
"I am Commander Steve McGarrett, this is my father's house."
"Put your weapon down right now."
"No, you put your weapon down and show me your ID."
"Show me your ID! Right now!"
"I'm not putting my gun down."
"Neither am I."
"Use your free hand, take out your ID."
"Please, after you."
"At the same time?"
"At the same time?"
"Yeah, at the same time."
"Like on the count of three?"
"Sure, okay. Three's good."
"One...two...three."
...
"How long have you been with the Honolulu P.D.?"
"That's none of your business. What are you, Barbara Walters?"
"You know it is my business if you're investigating my father's death."
"I am and I would like to get back to that, so the sooner you leave, the sooner I can."
"Anything you say."
"Leave the box or get arrested, alright?"
"You gonna call for back-up?"
"An ambulance."
*Steve puts the box down*
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me yet."
*Steve gets his phone out and dials*
"What are you doing?"
"Ah yeah, Governor Jameson, please. Tell her it's Steve McGarrett."
"Oh please."
"Commander, Governor Jameson here. What can I do for you?"
"You're kidding me."
"Governor, I'll take the job. Let's just say I found something that changed my mind...."
- - - - -
Basically Danny unknowingly, and to his own chagrin, sets fate in motion here. Neither one knows just how much trouble they just got themselves into.
18. That awkward moment when your partner finds the seductive music on the radio "catchy."
from the episode 1.11 Palekaiko
*"Sexy Eyes" plays on the radio*
“Are you serious?”
“What?
“You’re not going to do something? You’re not going to change this?”
“What’s wrong with this?”
“You’re gonna leave this, you’re not going to do something about this?”
“It’s okay.
“It’s okay? Alright, I know that you have been trained to endure torture, okay. But, this is unbearable, okay? This is not right. Songs this bad make stable people want to kill other people! You understand?”
*Danny turns radio off*
“I think it’s kinda catchy.”
*Steve turns radio back on*
- - - - -
AWK. WARD.
17. That awkward moment when you find your partner's willingness to destroy another man's life his best trait.
from the episode 1.13 Ke Kinohi
“I want everything there is to know about Hiro Noshimuri. I want to know every business he runs, who all his employees are, all his family members, every friend he has, I want to know where he eats, where he sleeps, I want it all, okay? We’re going to tear into this guy’s life and we’re going to rip it all apart.”
“I have never liked you more than in this moment right now. It’s beautiful.”
- - - - -
Danny's appreciation of Steve has come so far. :')
16. That awkward moment when you and your partner argue in front of the serial killer.
from the episode 1.11 Palekaiko
“Alright! May 18, 1996!”
“What is that?”
“It’s the last time I puked, alright! Don’t make me break my streak!”
“You will not puke in this car, you will NOT puke in this car! If you’re going to be sick in here, you crack that window! This is a loaner.”
*Steve this drives erratically and scrapes the side of the loaner on the suspect’s car*
…
“Listen to me, huh, we know about your fiancé. We know she left you on the altar in front of your friends, in front of your family, I know that must have hurt.”
“You don’t know anything.”
“I do, alright, I know how it feels to have someone you love walk away from you.”
“What are you doing?”
“What?”
“What are you doing?! The guy’s clearly a psychopath and you’re trying to make friends with him? You’re trying to connect?”
“He’s standing right in front us. He can hear you.”
“He’s standing right here, Danny, but you’re a cop, you’re not a therapist.”
“Hey hey hey, I have been trained for this kind of thing, okay?”
“What? To bore people into submission?”
“Don’t listen to him, okay? His idea of communication is he drops a witty one-liner and then he shoots you in the face. Don’t’ worry about it.”
“I might shoot this guy just so he doesn’t have to listen to you talk.”
“Why don’t you do your thing, I’ll do mine, alright?”
*Steve shoots him and the suspect falls off cliff*
- - - - -
This whole scene just proves that they can have arguments at anytime and anywhere.
15. That awkward moment when you suggest the suspect run away from your partner who has a grenade.
from episode 1.17 Powa Maka Moana
“You see that door? That’s built to withstand a 300 pound Samoan meth addict. So back off before you break a nail, sunshine.”
“Huh, that’s good. How about you open it or I’ll come over there and break your face.”
“You got some kind of learning disability. You, me, we’re done talking.”
“Is that right?
“Look, you seem to be the more rational of the two, so I’ll say this one more time, I can’t help you I’m sorry.”
*Danny stand there in disbelief*
“You got five seconds to open the door.”
“Or what?”
“One.”
“What you gonna do?”
“Two.”
“My cousin’s a lawyer…”
“Three.”
“…so I know my rights.”
“Four.”
“You can’t come in here without a warrant.”
“Five.”
“Time’s up.”
“You gonna open the door?”
“Not a chance.
“Okay. I’ll be back.”
“’I’ll be back’? He’s done a lot better, trust me. That’s all you can come up with is ‘I’ll be back?’”
“I got something.”
“What are you going to do, drive the car through the uh---Hey! I got the keys!”
*Steve goes out to the car*
“Do you see what you did? I don’t know what he’s gonna do, but if I were you, I’d run. Out the back, side, roof, go.”
*Steve returns with something special*
“A grenade. He has a grenade. Why do you have a grenade?! He’s got a grenade. You see this? You see this?? I’m not bluffing, he will pull the pin and blow everybody up. Would you trust me, please?”
“That thing’s not even real.”
“You gonna open the door?”
“Not a chance.”
“You sure? …Okay.”
“You’re bluffing-you’re not bluffing-“
“Go, go!”
“You’re so sick-“
*Steve and Danny run out*
“C’mon! What is the matter with you?! You need help! I will pay for it!”
*looks up to Heaven*
“Why?”
- - - - -
Steve keeps a grenade in the glove box of Danny's car. Danny wants to pay for Steve's therapy. Yes, this is what partnership is all about.
14. That awkward moment when your partner is hanging the suspect off a roof.
from episode 1.02 Ohana
“Hey! What are you doing?? Hey, are you out of your mind?!”
“You wanna play? Let’s play!”
“This is not Guantanamo! You can’t hang a guy off a roof!”
“All I have to say is you came at me with a gun, we struggled, and you fell.”
“Hey, listen to me! Listen to me, if a suspect dies he no longer has the ability to speak, ergo, he’s useless to us!”
“You think anybody’s gonna care? You just killed two people, buddy. I’d be doing the World a favour!”
“That’s enough!”
“Ladies! You can stop now. I got a fingerprint match off an Interpol database.”
“Ergo?”
“You and I are gonna have a long talk later, understand? Get him up!”
…
“Where you going?”
“We are going to Roland’s house, okay? These guys are thieves, I wanna know what they’re after.”
“That way you’re going?”
*Steve stops and turns around*
“Shut up.”
…
“Let it go, just let it go.”
“Please do not speak to me right now.”
“Okay, so we’re gonna do that whole thing again. Why do we have to go-“
“Zip it for a second. I’m going to speak now. It is my turn. Sergei Ivanovich, he is a suspect. That means we treat him as a source of information and then we book him, okay. Torturing and killing is not part of the job description.”
“I wasn’t going to kill him.”
“Why are you talking?”
“I’m just trying to explain!”
“Why are your lips moving?!!”
*Steve throws up his hand in defeat*
“Go ahead.”
“I know the Governor gave you a free pass, but immunity and means does not entitle you to hang a guy off a roof! I was gonna break Ivanovich! I just needed a little time to get into his head! That is how police work is done. Is that too theoretical for you, huh?”
“Can I speak?”
“Please!”
“That guy was only going to talk out of fear of death.”
“Fear of death?”
“Fear of death.”
“What does that mean, ‘fear of death’? People will tell you anything under fear of death, but that doesn’t necessarily make it true.”
“Did you see the tattoo on his hand?”
“What?”
“The blue star. Did you see the blue star he had on his hand? That’s a new Belgrade Serbian mafia tattoo. These guys, they’re not smash and grab types, they kill kids, they slaughter families. That boy’s gonna lose his father.”
“Is everything gonna become a personal mission for you? You hang a guy off a roof because you lost your father?”
"Danny, you know what-“
“No, no, no, no, I swear to god I just want to know, because if everything is going to become a personal mission to you, then I count my odds at job security, not to mention survival, pretty slim. Okay, we are partners. So, if you are going to be the shoot first and asks questions later type of a guy, I would at least like to be consulted so I know when to duck.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Just for the record, I wasn’t going to kill him.”
“Well that is good.”
- - - - -
Just get used to these conversations, Steve. They're gonna be your constant companion.
13. That awkward moment when you're proud of the way your partner tied the drug dealer to the hood of his car.
from episode 1.08 Mana'o
*Danny ties suspect to the hood of his car and drives wildly*
“Just for the record, if I pulled something like this you would be reading me the Riot Act about proper police procedure.”
“No, I’d probably just arrest you.”
“I mean, compared to this, hanging a guy off a roof and throwing a guy in a shark cage is pretty tame.”
“No, I disagree. I think the shark cage was way worse than this.”
“Well, whatever, you’re wrong. I’m just saying to be clear that next time I get a free pass, okay?”
- - - - -
Steve is so proud of this moment right here. They're going to have a great future ahead of them.
12. That awkward moment when Pacman suddenly becomes more important than the investigation.
from episode 1.05 Nalowale
“That’s really good, that’s impressive. Did you learn that in SEAL school?”
“Yeah, it’s called using the Internet. People have been doing it since the early 90s. You might of heard of it.”
“I wouldn’t know, I was still playing Ms Pacman.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yup.”
“Ever make it to double pretzel level?”
“Triple banana, bitch.”
“You’re a liar.”
“No I’m not.”
- - - - -
Steve honestly looks offended. Danny wins this round.
11. That awkward moment when your partner is James Bond.
from episode 1.03 Malama Ka Aina
*Steve slaps Danny’s hand away as he goes for some champagne*
*A guy comes up and asks Danny for a drink*
“What do I look like? Try one of the ladies holding drinks. Yeah, good idea, right?”
“How come I look like a waiter and you look like James Bond?”
“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“Clearly.”
- - - - -
So subtle. So amusing.
10. That awkward moment when your partner breaks into your house and then gets doughnut crumbs all over your stuff.
from episode 1.02 Ohana
"What is it with you and walking into people's houses?"
"Well I knocked."
"I didn't hear you knock."
"Well I did and then I saw you through the window and thought you nodded."
"Didn't nod."
"Would you like me to leave?"
"Depends. What's in the bag?"
"Oh, it's those doughnut looking things they sell down the block."
"Malasadas?
"Yeah, whatever they are. They're fried and they taste good. You want one?"
"No, not without bypass surgery. And you can stay. Just don't eat near my stuff."
"Can I have a napkin?"
"Yeah."
"What is that look? What, they teach you how not to spill in the Army?"
"It is the Navy, okay? The Navy. And, it's not the spill, it's the tie. No one in Hawaii wears a tie."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I like to look like a professional."
"A professional what?"
"Okay, this is my favourite tie. Grace gave me this tie for Father's Day. Oh, and also so you know, back in Jersey and every other normal city in this country, this is what a Detective looks like."
"Really? Shirt, tie, doughnut crumbs. You missed a spot. You're never gonna fit in here looking like you're from the mainland."
"Who says I want to fit in? I don't want to fit in. I want to look I'm from the mainland. Okay, I got 87 homicide cases under my belt looking like this."
"Not in 110 degree weather, you don't. I'm just saying."
"I'm not taking off the tie."
"Fine."
"So leave it alone!"
"Okay."
"You wanna discuss my shoes?"
"Well now that you mention it, patent leather loafers??"
"Will you, uh, do me a favour, please? Just let it go."
- - - - -
Danny, you are a man after my own heart.
09. That awkward moment when you have to teach your partner how to play prison basketball.
from episode 1.04 Lanakila
“Hey, so you know, the other guy putting the ball in the hoop is bad.”
“Danno, shut up, alright?”
“Do me a favour and don’t call me Danno, huh?”
“Hey yo, how long you two been married?”
…
“Okay, alright, time out. Time out!”
“You, uh, never played basketball, I guess.”
“No, I’ve played once or twice.”
“Yeah I can see that. It looked like I was watching LeBron and maybe he’s just this much better.”
“You know what, football was my sport, ‘kay?”
“Yeah? Now you tell me that?”
“Hey! You ready to quit?”
In unison: “No!” “Yes!”
“Which one is it?”
“Can you just give me a second, please? Can I have some space?”
“Alright listen to me. You’re not going to out-shoot him, so out-deke him, alright? Play it like it’s football. Put a body on him, steal the ball away from him, and put it in the hoop. What’s he gonna do? Call a foul? We’re in jail.”
“I can do that.”
- - - - -
So basically they complete each other.
08. That awkward moment when Bon Jovi rocks...on occasion.
from episode 1.09 Po'ipu
“What is that?”
“What is what?”
“That.”
“That is a picture of Grace.”
“No, not that. That.”
“Oh that’s a visual aid. It’s to remind me of a better place.”
“A visual aid?”
“Yeah.”
“Danny, this is a postcard of New Jersey.”
“I know exactly what it is. I bought it. You want me to say it? I’m not afraid to say. I miss home. I’m a little homesick, okay?”
“Okay, it’s okay to be homesick.”
“I miss Sal’s Steakhouse, I miss Franky’s, I miss Manny’s.”
“Do you realise how much of your life revolves around food?”
“Do you realise how much of your life revolves around armed conflict?”
“Let me ask you a question. Where do people from New Jersey vacation?”
“Um, I don’t know, I would imagine they vacation all over the place.”
“Okay, you’re aware of the fact that perhaps many of the people from New Jersey vacation here in Hawaii.”
“I’m sure some misguided people do, sure yeah.”
“Okay and how many Hawaiians do you think vacation in New Jersey?”
“I don’t know.”
“I can help you with that answer if you want. The answer is zero, Danny, because nobody here except you wants to be there. Okay? And ‘cause aside from a couple of great singers, New Jersey doesn’t exactly scream-“
“Whoa, whoa, a few great singers?? Sinatra! Springsteen! A few great-Jonathan Bon Jovi!”
“I’m sorry, Bon Jovi?”
“Absolutely Bon Jovi!”
“Are you serious?”
“He’s right up there, “You Give Love A Bad Name,” “Wanted Dead or Alive”-“
“Now you’re giving me song titles.”
“I’m giving you classic song titles.”
“Look, all I’m saying is that it’s cool with me if you want to have a photo of Grace, okay, but any other additions and decorations to the interior of this vehicle should be treated like a wire tap request where you need my authorization.”
“You can ride in the trunk if you didn’t like it. I’ll get real Jersey up in this piece.”
- - - - -
Lesson learned: Don't mess with Jersey.
07. That awkward moment when you make the mistake of poking your new partner in the chest.
from episode 1.01 Pilot
"Okay, I'm sorry. This is typically where you would say thank you for saving your life."
"You just shot my only lead."
"Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?!"
"These are the same guys that are moving people out of Asia. They could have smuggled Hesse into Hawaii."
"You just took a stupid risk, okay? Understand that. I am not getting myself killed for your vendetta. I have a daughter, okay?"
"Yeah, that girl there is someone's daughter, too."
"You don't get it, you don't get it. I mean, for somebody who just lost his father, you're pretty dense."
"What'd you just say? What'd you just say to me?! What if she was yours, huh? Is there anything you would not do to hunt down the son of a bitch that did that to her and kill them?"
"Do not question my resolve."
"I'm warning you, take your finger out of my face."
*Danny pokes Steve in the chest*
"Listen to me, you son of a bitch--"
*Steve grabs Danny's arm and pins him down*
"What did I tell you? I warned you."
"What are you a ninja? Let go."
"In front of all these nice people. It's fine. Go back to work, it's fine."
"Okay, okay."
"Now you don't have to like me, but right now there is no one else to do this job."
"Okay, let me go."
"Alright, look, we need to find these human traffickers--"
*Danny punches Steve right in the face*
"You're right, I don't like you."
*Danny walks off*
"Son of a--"
- - - - -
THEY'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS. I CAN ALREADY TELL.
06. That awkward moment when you can't both be Erik Estrada.
from episode 1.14 He Kane Hewa' Ole
*finishing an episode-long CHIPs fight*
“Estrada wa s a bad bitch, man.”
“Yup, that’s why there’s no way.”
“Wait a minute, why can’t I be Estrada?”
“In a world where I didn’t exist you could be whatever you want.”
“That world sounds lovely.”
“It’s logistics anyway, Danno. I mean, Estrada’s got dark hair, Wilcox is the blonde.”
“I know, but ladies loved Estrada.”
“Case in point, bud.”
“Please stop, you’re making a fool of yourself.”
“I’m just saying, just listen to what I’m saying, man, I have more in common with Estrada.”
“Like what?! Like a nickname? ‘Cause I didn’t know you had a nickname. I have a nickname and so did Ponch.”
“That’s ridiculous! Just because I call you Danno doesn’t make you Ponch!”
“Can’t we just both be Estrada?”
“That’s fine.”
“Hey, what are you guys watching?”
"CHIPs marathon.”
“I never heard of it.”
“I used to watch this show as a kid. Got me interested in riding bikes.”
“Oh, that guy’s pretty hot.”
“The dark one, right?”
“No, the blonde.”
In unison: “That’s me.”
- - - - -
I've had fangirl arguments very similar to this before. Oh boys...
05. That awkward moment when your partner becomes part of your family.
from episode 1.18 Loa Aloha
“You know, I really appreciate this escort through the Hilton, but I’m really just here to pick up Grace.”
“It’s no big deal, besides I wanna meet your brother.”
“Well be warned that Mr. Wall Street has quite the personality-“
“It runs in the family, huh?”
“-disorder. Personality disorder…”
…
“So what do you think? Surf?”
“I could eat. I could eat surf.”
- - - - -
They've come so far in just a few episodes. It does my heart proud.
04. That awkward moment when your nickname is a "term of endearment."
from episode 1.06 Ko'olauloa
To Kono: “Book him.”
"Thank you.”
“I heard that.”
“You know, when I say "book em' Danno," it's a term of endearment.”
“Okay, do it every day. I like it.”
- - - - -
I love how either Danny's sarcasm is completely lost on Steve here or Steve is just ignoring it to piss Danny off. It's beautiful.
03. That awkward moment when someone mistakes your partner for your wife.
from episode 1.07 Ho'apono
“You miss me don’t you?”
“Oh yeah I wish you were here, but you don’t swim, do you?”
“I don’t swim? I swim very well actually, I just choose not to.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You talking to your wife?”
“I’m talking to my partner.”
- - - - -
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
02. That awkward moment when you have to talk you partner down whilst suspending a tree in the air.
from episode 1.16 E Malama
“Danny, are Grace and Rachel okay?”
“Yeah, but I am sick, I’m in the middle of a panic attack. This little incident just shaved five years off my life. What’s up with the witness? You find her yet.”
“Yeah, but don’t worry about it, you stay with your family. Don’t come out here.”
“Okay, I’m not. I’m actually on my way to the airport.”
“What are you talking about, airport? Why, you going some place?”
“Well, Stan, Stan comes home and --"
“Buddy, Danny, what are you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“Listen, I may not be able to see you, but I can hear you and you have tone.”
“Tone? I don’t have a tone.”
“Okay you say I have a face, you, my friend, you have a tone, okay? It’s a tone and it says that ‘I’m gonna hit somebody.’ Now what’s going on?”
“Okay, I think that Stan, in fact, I know that Stan had something to do with what happened to Rachel and Grace.”
“Okay, is that based on anything other than the fact that you hate the man?”
“Yes, it is. They stole his car, they got his car, not hers, okay? And they returned it in an hour and didn’t take anything! The house was broken into, ransacked, and just like the car, they took nothing. Okay? That sound normal to you? My daughter sleeps in that house, okay, and if Stan has anything to do with it, I am going to encourage him to tell me what he knows.”
“Listen to me, alright? I get that you’re pissed, alright, I can hear that. But, whatever you do, do not touch him. Do not touch him.”
“I understand, but you gotta understand that I am a father, alright, this is my daughter we’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you’re also a cop with a gun and when those worlds cross it gets messy, Danny.”
“Yeah, well I’m not the one that crossed them. Don’t worry about me, please, I will handle it. Get your witness to court, okay?”
*Danny ends call*
“No! Hey hey hey, Danny! Danny!”
- - - - -
Steve is holding a tree in the air and is still so concerned about Danny's "tone" that he gets upset when Danny hangs up first. This is one of the most bromantic and amazing scenes I have ever witnessed on television.
01. That awkward moment when you finally realise what it is to be a partner.
from episode 1.08 Mana'o
“I appreciate you being here. I know you didn’t know him.”
“I know you.”
“Thank you.”
- - - - -
I think it is here that they finally understand the lengths they will go through to keep each other safe. Simple. Sweet. Says everything you need to know about their relationship.
Most caps from crystalcaps
Caps for eps 8, 9, and 11 from toxic_caps