So,
I'm done with prelims. And believe me, I'm hysterical, only I doubt I'll be able to adequately express the extent of my euphoria except in the most autistic of ways, with varying degrees of capslock and font size changes. So you'll have to make do with a simple description and an unshaken belief in my current state of contentment, which has included but is not limited to: provencal roasted eggplant soup, Fright Night, old fashioned neoprints and abundant ice cream. It's quite a grand place to be I think, post-prelims, even better in sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt and the infinity of the internet to get through. This depends, of course, on your notion of grand.
But I digress! Funny thing is I intended to write about how I never know what to blog about nowadays, considering how my routine has essentially panned out into studying, sleeping, reading lots of fanfiction about shows I watch and do not watch, studying more, thinking about how much I do not want to study, and eating extensively all the while. I'm not fooling myself with notions that this is a break, in any traditional sense of the word -- it's the calm between two storms, and I'm just waiting for the next thunderclap to sound.
Life is trundling ahead, the future is starting to shape itself from the fuzzy haze ahead of me to something more, and I'm stepping toward it, ready or not. The sensation of time passing gets sharper by the day, and just wandering through the campus makes me think, wow, I won't be in this school much longer. Like it or not there is that shadow of a university that I will find myself in -- where, I have yet to find out. I'm close to exhausting my hows -- SATs, Prelims, next stop A Levels -- it's all coming fast and furious. I'm buckled in for the ride -- I only hope it will be as kind as it is crazy.
I have no idea how often I'll be on LJ -- I know I've pretty much fallen off whatever small speck of radar I was on, back in the days when I was "active". Nowadays I only come on when I'm goaded into it. I admit, I've spent an increasing proportion of my time on Tumblr, and the communities I follow on LJ tend to be a rehash of old fandoms that I'm so far out of that it feels odd to even scroll through my f-list, looking at the most recent and thinking, oh goodness, this is what I used to like. It's a curious feeling, distant and slightly numb. They were a good part of my life though, a sense of security and stability in the crazy waves of youth. It occurs to me that I'm almost twenty -- crazy because I feel like I never quite got the hang of being eighteen, of being a teenager even. I'll be leaving the label soon enough, although how I change -- if I actually do -- there's a mystery I've got my life to solve.
But I digress! Funny thing is I intended to write about how I never know what to blog about nowadays, considering how my routine has essentially panned out into studying, sleeping, reading lots of fanfiction about shows I watch and do not watch, studying more, thinking about how much I do not want to study, and eating extensively all the while. I'm not fooling myself with notions that this is a break, in any traditional sense of the word -- it's the calm between two storms, and I'm just waiting for the next thunderclap to sound.
Life is trundling ahead, the future is starting to shape itself from the fuzzy haze ahead of me to something more, and I'm stepping toward it, ready or not. The sensation of time passing gets sharper by the day, and just wandering through the campus makes me think, wow, I won't be in this school much longer. Like it or not there is that shadow of a university that I will find myself in -- where, I have yet to find out. I'm close to exhausting my hows -- SATs, Prelims, next stop A Levels -- it's all coming fast and furious. I'm buckled in for the ride -- I only hope it will be as kind as it is crazy.
I have no idea how often I'll be on LJ -- I know I've pretty much fallen off whatever small speck of radar I was on, back in the days when I was "active". Nowadays I only come on when I'm goaded into it. I admit, I've spent an increasing proportion of my time on Tumblr, and the communities I follow on LJ tend to be a rehash of old fandoms that I'm so far out of that it feels odd to even scroll through my f-list, looking at the most recent and thinking, oh goodness, this is what I used to like. It's a curious feeling, distant and slightly numb. They were a good part of my life though, a sense of security and stability in the crazy waves of youth. It occurs to me that I'm almost twenty -- crazy because I feel like I never quite got the hang of being eighteen, of being a teenager even. I'll be leaving the label soon enough, although how I change -- if I actually do -- there's a mystery I've got my life to solve.