(no subject)
alright...I came back to several messages asking for my list of 20 things. So I figure since I'm not doing anything and have about 100 things I should do, I'll procrastinate.
1. My roommates (Mike and Walter) are awesome.
2. The class I thought I would hate has become one of my favorite classes, while the class I thought I would love is the one I detest (Major Authors and American Lit, respectively)
3. I have come to live by the quote "Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around". Last weekend was the perfect example of this. When I was going home and had just got home, I didn't really want to be there because of alot of apprehension and fears. After driving around, going to the bakery, talking with Justin for a few minutes, finding something that could possibly work out to be awesome, and then going to Jessies and hanging out with her and jess with no pants on, I could not have had a better night.
4. My parents and sister are the most important people in my life. They have helped me through so much, and always know what I need to hear. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest people because of this.
5. Untill 11th grade, I never considered anyone to be a "best" friend. I'm still not sure if I believe in the term, but now consider two people (Justin and Tricia) to be my best friends. I consider both to be family.
6. (This one is for Jacob) I have no problem with those feelings not nessicarily being reciprocal. I know both consider me to be a good friend, and my feelings about them will always be what I feel, regardless of what "rank" I hold in their "hierarchy" of friends (to use his words)
7. For as much shit as me and Jake have put eachother through, particularly in the last year, we will always be there. And that is comforting. I guess I will add this on here, although it could go in a few places. I refer to two people as "kid". The odd thing is they mean completely different things and I have never assiciated them as being the same nickname. One is called kid because he reminds me of a goat, but used to punch me in the stomach when I would call him "goat boy". I also rarely use the term Kid when talking to him. the other gets the name for reasons that I wont go into here, but is my primary way of refering to him. Go figure. Also, it's not surprising that both remind me alot of the other, but are completely different in more ways that they are similar. Again, go figure.
8. I tend to do things that aren't the best for me because they will be good for others whom I care about. I do this alot.
9. Some people piss me off and will never get a second chance. Others will piss me off and get countless chances. Still others, I am uncapable of being mad at. It is part of my nature to forgive quickly. However, thanks to my sister, I do know how to stay angry when I need to.
10. I owe alot of who I became to a very small list of people. Two in particular. Laura D and Kate S. When I came into high school, these two gave me alot of the confidence I have in myself today.
11. "And momma, I've been crying because things aren't how they used to be. She said the battles almost won, and we're only several miles from the sun"-Interperet that as you will. Very few will fully understand what I mean, but hey, I like being cryptic.
12. I wish I could make people happy and make their time easier. Particularly people who are at college for the first time. But I firmly believe that they need to experiance this hard time in order to learn about themselves.
13. I love people very easily. But there are many levels of love. My family and 2 best friends are loved on a very different level from my closest friends, and even that is very different from my other assorted friends. That being said, I have never been "in love", as that is something I reserve to a very high level. That being said, no one level of love is better than the other, merely different. Even within each grouping, there are very big differences, for example my love for my father is hugely different from my love for my mother.
14. Music is my ultimate passion. Theater (more the tech side than acting) and friends each play a close second. Doing lighting for BCT has been (and will continue to be) one of my favorite things because it combines all three in a way that is impossible to describe, yet ultimatly amazing.
15. People, even those closest to me, fail to realize how observant I am. I tend to be a quieter person because I prefer to be a "watcher" and see what the people do, and understand why they do it. Saying certain things at certain times happens for a reason, and I am quick to pick up on these things. I, however, rarely bring my observations to the person they are about because I feel that me knowing things without that person telling me is unfair. This explains several of my actions to two people in particular over the past summer and past few months.
16. At times I am jealous of the people going to central with friends from home because I feel like I miss out on so much by not being there. With that being said, I am happy at BU. I do not think, however, that boston will ever replace Berlin as being my home.
17. I am very careful with my choice of how I phrase things to get across exactly what I mean. I rarely say something without a direct concept of how it will impact the person it is said to. This has gotten me into trouble and is one of the only reasons I have ever appologized for something I have done rather than appologising for the result of my actions, but supporting said actions.
18. If I had to do my life over again, I would not change a single thing because that have all made me who I am today. Changing one thing would change countless things following it. While I do not like all the paths my life has taken and all of my actions, I am proud of who I am, and would not change it.
19. While I have alot of self confidence, I am also very self conscious. I am a walking contradiction
20. For as much as I have changed in the last 5 or 6 years, there are still aspects of myself that are the same. Some I like, some I hate. the ones that I hate seem to be impossible to fully shake but seem to be constantly replaced by a new action to act out the feelings. The things I love seem to be fleeting.
I'm adding a 21.
21: I fucking love my (ex)coworkers. Being fired this summer really sucked, not because I liked the job (did any of us?), and I still have a hard time accepting that they are no longer my coworkers. We could sit at the pool on our worst days and joke about how messed up we all were and all of our problems and just feel better. We could also talk seriously about problems. When I came to work and felt like shit, they all helped to make me laugh and have a good time. And nothing tops the guard parties. I will really miss working at Percival with all of them. Where else do you have coworkers hook up, and turn it into making lists of the people we have hooked up with and comparing? Or paint a "my little pony" doll with nail polish? Or go from discussing the "hot british boys" to discussing religion and politics? I have never met such a diverse group of intelligent people who got along so well and truly enjoyed eachothers presence. And liked to bitch about how much our jobs sucked, even tho we didnt do anything.
Alright, that burned a few minutes. Maybe I'll write an actual entry soon, but we'll see.
1. My roommates (Mike and Walter) are awesome.
2. The class I thought I would hate has become one of my favorite classes, while the class I thought I would love is the one I detest (Major Authors and American Lit, respectively)
3. I have come to live by the quote "Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around". Last weekend was the perfect example of this. When I was going home and had just got home, I didn't really want to be there because of alot of apprehension and fears. After driving around, going to the bakery, talking with Justin for a few minutes, finding something that could possibly work out to be awesome, and then going to Jessies and hanging out with her and jess with no pants on, I could not have had a better night.
4. My parents and sister are the most important people in my life. They have helped me through so much, and always know what I need to hear. I consider myself to be one of the luckiest people because of this.
5. Untill 11th grade, I never considered anyone to be a "best" friend. I'm still not sure if I believe in the term, but now consider two people (Justin and Tricia) to be my best friends. I consider both to be family.
6. (This one is for Jacob) I have no problem with those feelings not nessicarily being reciprocal. I know both consider me to be a good friend, and my feelings about them will always be what I feel, regardless of what "rank" I hold in their "hierarchy" of friends (to use his words)
7. For as much shit as me and Jake have put eachother through, particularly in the last year, we will always be there. And that is comforting. I guess I will add this on here, although it could go in a few places. I refer to two people as "kid". The odd thing is they mean completely different things and I have never assiciated them as being the same nickname. One is called kid because he reminds me of a goat, but used to punch me in the stomach when I would call him "goat boy". I also rarely use the term Kid when talking to him. the other gets the name for reasons that I wont go into here, but is my primary way of refering to him. Go figure. Also, it's not surprising that both remind me alot of the other, but are completely different in more ways that they are similar. Again, go figure.
8. I tend to do things that aren't the best for me because they will be good for others whom I care about. I do this alot.
9. Some people piss me off and will never get a second chance. Others will piss me off and get countless chances. Still others, I am uncapable of being mad at. It is part of my nature to forgive quickly. However, thanks to my sister, I do know how to stay angry when I need to.
10. I owe alot of who I became to a very small list of people. Two in particular. Laura D and Kate S. When I came into high school, these two gave me alot of the confidence I have in myself today.
11. "And momma, I've been crying because things aren't how they used to be. She said the battles almost won, and we're only several miles from the sun"-Interperet that as you will. Very few will fully understand what I mean, but hey, I like being cryptic.
12. I wish I could make people happy and make their time easier. Particularly people who are at college for the first time. But I firmly believe that they need to experiance this hard time in order to learn about themselves.
13. I love people very easily. But there are many levels of love. My family and 2 best friends are loved on a very different level from my closest friends, and even that is very different from my other assorted friends. That being said, I have never been "in love", as that is something I reserve to a very high level. That being said, no one level of love is better than the other, merely different. Even within each grouping, there are very big differences, for example my love for my father is hugely different from my love for my mother.
14. Music is my ultimate passion. Theater (more the tech side than acting) and friends each play a close second. Doing lighting for BCT has been (and will continue to be) one of my favorite things because it combines all three in a way that is impossible to describe, yet ultimatly amazing.
15. People, even those closest to me, fail to realize how observant I am. I tend to be a quieter person because I prefer to be a "watcher" and see what the people do, and understand why they do it. Saying certain things at certain times happens for a reason, and I am quick to pick up on these things. I, however, rarely bring my observations to the person they are about because I feel that me knowing things without that person telling me is unfair. This explains several of my actions to two people in particular over the past summer and past few months.
16. At times I am jealous of the people going to central with friends from home because I feel like I miss out on so much by not being there. With that being said, I am happy at BU. I do not think, however, that boston will ever replace Berlin as being my home.
17. I am very careful with my choice of how I phrase things to get across exactly what I mean. I rarely say something without a direct concept of how it will impact the person it is said to. This has gotten me into trouble and is one of the only reasons I have ever appologized for something I have done rather than appologising for the result of my actions, but supporting said actions.
18. If I had to do my life over again, I would not change a single thing because that have all made me who I am today. Changing one thing would change countless things following it. While I do not like all the paths my life has taken and all of my actions, I am proud of who I am, and would not change it.
19. While I have alot of self confidence, I am also very self conscious. I am a walking contradiction
20. For as much as I have changed in the last 5 or 6 years, there are still aspects of myself that are the same. Some I like, some I hate. the ones that I hate seem to be impossible to fully shake but seem to be constantly replaced by a new action to act out the feelings. The things I love seem to be fleeting.
I'm adding a 21.
21: I fucking love my (ex)coworkers. Being fired this summer really sucked, not because I liked the job (did any of us?), and I still have a hard time accepting that they are no longer my coworkers. We could sit at the pool on our worst days and joke about how messed up we all were and all of our problems and just feel better. We could also talk seriously about problems. When I came to work and felt like shit, they all helped to make me laugh and have a good time. And nothing tops the guard parties. I will really miss working at Percival with all of them. Where else do you have coworkers hook up, and turn it into making lists of the people we have hooked up with and comparing? Or paint a "my little pony" doll with nail polish? Or go from discussing the "hot british boys" to discussing religion and politics? I have never met such a diverse group of intelligent people who got along so well and truly enjoyed eachothers presence. And liked to bitch about how much our jobs sucked, even tho we didnt do anything.
Alright, that burned a few minutes. Maybe I'll write an actual entry soon, but we'll see.