Leave a comment

anonymous June 30 2015, 16:00:11 UTC
Heh, the tank. Which reminds me... WHY WASN'T THERE A TANK IN EARTHBOUND? I WOULD HAVE LOVED A TANK IN EARTHBOUND, WOULD YOU HAVE LOVED A TANK IN EARTHBOUND? I MEAN, YEAH THERE'S THE SKYRUNNER, BUT U.F.O'S AREN'T AS FUN AS TANKS AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT.

Also, yaaaaaay marriage equality for all! Of course, now there's gonna be so much pressure from everyone to get married and it's like, Mom, I just want to keep things simple with Mike, I'm not ready for marriage, no I haven't popped the question, Mike's not good with commitment, can we just stop talking about Mike, and uggh. Haha, but yaay, now everyone can suffer- I mean, enjoy marital bliss.

Man, a cured zombie wedding would be weird, huh. 'Do you, disgusting former zombie that is an abomination in the eyes of god and took my wife from me, take this woman, who is also an ungodly abomination that spits in the face of Baby Jesus, to be your, begrudgingly, lawfully wedded wife, until such time as the army hopefully wipes you all out and restores order and the will of the Lord to this hellhole, amen?'. I can imagine the priests would not be happy with the zombies, haha.

Goddammit, now I'm shipping Nick and Larry. Why do you always make these things seem so unbearably cute?

Reply

zarla July 3 2015, 06:11:36 UTC
I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A TANK IN MOTHER 1, IT WAS SUCH A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE i'm surprised they didn't bring that back later, haha

I figured a cured zombie marriage would be more ceremonial than anything |D THERE'S REALLY NO GOVERNMENT TO OFFICIATE ANYMORE

yesss more nick/larry shipping

Reply

anonymous July 3 2015, 15:35:06 UTC
AND THEN THEY KINDA-SORTA BRING BACK TANKS IN MOTHER 3, FULL-CIRCLE WHOOOOOOA. Still can't drive them, though. Porkbean doesn't count. I mean, Mr. Saturn Porkbean is alright, sort of, I guess... Ah, fuck it, MR. SATURN COFFEE TABLE IS BETTER THEN ANY TANK OR U.F.O.

I imagine there'd be at least a few men of the cloth among the survivors, probably some make-shift chapels for prayers and maybe a confessional or two to help people deal with the guilt. FATHER I HAVE SINNED, I SHOT MY BEST FRIEND IN THE ZOMBIE FACE. Priest just sits there going 'Uhh, well... 'Sin' might be... Hmm...', haha. Can you imagine how much a zombie apocalypse would upset the balance of organized religion? WE TAKE BACK THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT, JUST SAVE US FROM THE HELL-BEASTS THAT WANT OUR FLESH. Oh man, how many people would just have everything they believed in just be shattered in an instant the second the dead started walking? Every conservative state collectively shitting their pants. Or maybe they'd all point to it and blame it on gay marriage, could go either way. I imagine in the aftermath, a loooooot of priests would leave the flock, man.

Speaking of gay marriage, my god it still doesn't feel real. I mean, just last week I wasn't allowed to get married in several states, and now I could get married anywhere. I didn't even join the celebrations, I was just in shock for a good bit, saying to myself 'It's a dream, it's a hoax, it's not happening, much as you want it to, they'd never let it happen', but a few days later here we are and aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I was right, though. The pressure to tie the knot has already begun. Man, I really hope Mike doesn't suddenly pop the question. That would be awkward.

DO YOU LIKE VIDEO GAMES? HOW ABOUT SEX? DO YOU WANT SEXY VIDEO GAMES? WELL, HERE'S THE NEXT BEST THING! PRESENTING, 'ZARLA BRAND INSTANT SHIPPER'! SIMPLY TAKE THE GAME OF YOUR CHOICE, SPECIFY EITHER A HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL PAIRING AND SWITCH IT ON. WITHIN MOMENTS, YOU'LL BE THE OWNER OF YOUR VERY OWN ORIGINAL PAIRING, COURTESY OF THE SAME COMPANY WHO BROUGHT YOU SUCH PAIRINGS AS 'LESBIAN ZOMBIES', 'HOMOSEXUAL COMPUTER NERDS AND SOLDIERS', 'ACE ATTORNEY: TURNABOUT WEDDING BELLS', AND 'CRIPPLE AND MUSICIAN'. TIRED OF 'OFFICIAL' PAIRINGS THAT JUST DON'T SUIT YOUR TASTES? BUY THE 'ZARLA BRAND INSTANT SHIPPER' TODAY AND SAVE! ORDER NOW, SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!

Reply


Leave a comment

Up