Ugh there was a technical thing so I didn't get a copy of UMO this week, boo. So instead HEY LET'S DO ANOTHER
ONE OF THESE The poll I posted a while back had
Miyuki and the second episode of this tied (and a lot of votes for Okane Ga Nai 3 WHY WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH ME SUFFER I HATE THAT SHOW SO MUCH), and the second episode has since pulled ahead, SO LET'S DO THIS. It turns out my memories of this series (??) were a bit vague, and the corn rape is not as far into the future as I thought! In fact, corn rape is now. BUT HOW DOES IT COME ABOUT? The answers await you as we return to the world of Wilson and his boss Pimpshark McBadtouch. As you can probably guess this entry is not safe for work.
I'm glad we're so casual already, translator. I feel like we can really talk with each other.
That name, why does that name sound familiar
So hey remember in the
first episode how Wilson would randomly flashback to his childhood for no apparent reason? We're still doing that! He still has that horrible bug thing in a jar for some reason.
Also there's a bunch of shots of him wandering around a deserted festival and an equally deserted city for some reason, accompanied with super dramatic music. Boku no Sexual Harrassment are you trying to do character development, is that what this is supposed to be
Finally got that done, can cross that off the list.
NO PLEASE I HAD SO MUCH TO NOT LIVE FOR
What did that intro have to do with anything show
Back to the actual "plot"
If you know what I mean.
LIKE WHAT? PLEASE TELL ME, WILSON. I bet you're a whiz at computer stuff.
Marked it on his calender, was going to go out to a restaurant but just so tired all of a sudden.
Another deer scare! These show up
everywhere.
HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED
you catch my subtle jab at you there
god i'm so clever
YEAH I ENTERTAINED THAT PRESIDENT
I DO WHAT I WANT
that president, and that one, and that other one over there
This is a good career path to follow.
Computer company turfwars are serious business.
TEA?
Probably could have avoided that by not having sex with Wilson in the office in broad daylight in an unlocked room. Just saying.
He'll be dead soon anyway.
What is wrong with everyone at this company?
NO WAY I'M SHOCKED AT THIS TURN OF EVENTS
as a single tear rolls down his cheek
Ah, I love it when the skies are covered in blood
And here comes the ash rainfall, it's so beautiful here.
"that's my favorite joss whedon show"
WAIT IS THIS BOKU NO SEXUAL HARASSMENT I'M OUT OF HERE
blrblrblrlblrbrbl
A famous sex university
Not that I can claim a lot of familiarity with them since they don't come around here but those seem like very large fireflies.
let me fix that for you
group leader whore
there you go
You know, just daydreaming, you know how it goes. Did I leave the oven on?
I don't always rape my employees, but when I do, I prefer SM.
:}
Gotta turn up the electric blanket here
Is the 500watt lamp pointed directly at his head really necessary? Is he getting a scalp tan?
Put my purple bed in the center of the room and make sure it doesn't touch the walls, I will kill you.
HAVEN'T TORN YOUR ANUS SO THAT'S GOOD
Subliminal anal bleaching advocation, I see what's going on here.
Doesn't it? DOESN'T IT?? VALIDATE ME
Oh god I'm having flashbacks to that fic where this pretty much happened to those Stargate weirdos, what were their names... Shepard and McKay? Frick let me see if I can find it.
Aha, there it is!
There was a knock on the door, and John called, "One moment," then whispered to Rodney, "Turn on your belly." Rodney did so, spreading his legs wide without being told. John checked to make sure that his cock couldn't be seen, and then called, "Come on in." He stayed sitting on the bed, as the waiter wheeled in the cart. He didn't say anything about Rodney as he brought John the bill, but John could see his eyes trace over Rodney's shape.
Signing the bill, he handed it back and then rested one hand on Rodney's cheek. "Beautiful, isn't he?"
"Yes, sir," the waiter said, lust evident in his voice. He was slowly backing away, as though he didn't want to take his eyes off Rodney, but eventually he had to turn away to open the door.
When he'd left, John grinned down at Rodney, who had been watching the waiter with eyes blown wide.
god the
badfic quotes will haunt me forever
Say, you busy
did he say delicious wine
SO HOW'S THE WHORING GOING
oh right you're busy with the whole letting your boss molest you so you don't lose your job thing, right
just crank this up to eleven here
Sorry some guy walked in and punched me in the face while you weren't looking and it seems to have caved in
IT'S NOT LIKE VIBRATORS ARE THE DEVIL
Dos Equus guy decides to do some power pouting
Light bondage and vibrators YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERVERT
"oh hey i'm banging your boyfriend so i won't fire you both, could you come over for a threesome
bring some delicious wine"
do you mind if i eat this pillow here
I'M GONNA DO THE BEST I CAN
We're gonna play Scrabble
lol
Wait aren't you supposed to be hole stretching YOU'RE FIRED
He actually licks his lips, no joke.
ME TOO ME TOO HEY GUYS
LET ME CLEAN THAT UP FOR YOU
Tonight turned out better than Wilson expected
LET'S HAVE A SUDDEN FLASHBACK AGAIN young wilson do you not have a home or something, you're constantly in forests
Fireflies seem to be a recurring theme for some reason. WHAT DO THEY MEAN
Don't fireflies only come out at night? I have no idea really.
clear skies, bright green trees, sure
I don't like where this is going.
Didn't catch this but Wilson nods.
Well good luck with that, I'm going home.
This shot belongs in a horror anime, what is this doing here
No one ever saw young Wilson again
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Check out my tiny glowstick
LOOK OUT THE FIREFLY'S GONE NUCLEAR
It flies off and Wilson goes to catch it but almost falls OH NOOO
Good to know Badtouch was a huge creepster even when he was younger. HE'S LIKE EIGHT. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS BOKU NO SEXUAL HARASSMENT. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS.
wtf are you doin guy
Meanwhile a firefly escapes from under the mask underwater and somehow flies away. Are they waterproof?
Oh yeah, almost forgot, all the fireflies in this make laser noises for some reason. So just dub over Star Wars for the appropriate effect.
BACK IN MODERN DAY
No one will rape me there, probably!
The music that plays during this scene is hilarious, it's midi quality synth guitars just noodling around. It sort of reminds me of Snatcher.
This guy looks trustworthy! What could O'Greenhair have in mind?
yeah we know hermione
and it's time to party
it's called RAPE TIME
DURRRRRRR
Also a rapist! Just a sidenote there.
Neighborhood watched.
Great believers in the controversial FourStackedBooks school of architecture.
"Special entertainment" if you know what I mean.
all these datas i left on my desk here
Oh yeah, Brad! What's going on with him I wonder.
so nostalgic WHAT THE BUG IN MY MOUTH PFF PFF it's only been a month
I NEED YOUR LOVIN ARMS AROUND ME
Woah Badtouch is married and has kids?! That adds a whole new level of awful to their relationship.
HE WAS THE ONE WHO BEGAN THE PARTY AFTER ALL
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIS BEAUTIFUL EYES
And she just starts weeping. This is a fun show.
Brad puts his head down beside her and begins weeping as well.
AAAA
THAT SURE IS A... CITY hey you wanna sleep together
also i got stoned while i was out here, you mind
big buttery moon up there, want to go to 7-11
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh
what
i wasn't listening
KISS ME BEFORE THE MOON SMASHES INTO THE EARTH AND DESTROYS ALL LIFE
~*ANGST*~
>
Brad if you start talking about coming early to a party again I'm going to punch you
OH GOD WHAT DID YOU SEE
Yes Mr. O'Greenhair is FORESHADOWING I'm fine.
Well that's convenient.
through gritted teeth
YUP
SURE AM LEAVING
HERE I GO
OUT THE DOOR
Why, it wasn't like he was reading them outloud
right
Odd lookin door.
LET'S SEE HOW LONG THAT LASTS
Wait is that a cow on the right there
That is one depressing entertainment center you have there guy. HERE IS A PILLOW AND A TV AND THAT'S IT.
Popped collars, now those will kill you.
All of a sudden I want to watch Gamecenter CX again.
This also applies to gay sex by the way
did a guy just teleport behind me
oh god
Bourbon is our code word for gay sex.
O'Greenhair I'll have you know I am a respected oncologist
YUP NO OTHER CHOICE AT THIS POINT
NONE
BUT THE RAVE PARTY IS JUST STARTING
OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ
does this smell like chloroform to you
Rape eyes on a delicate background of pink
By Monet
oontz oontz oontz
For added impact, load up the
Ghosts 'n Goblins theme! It's time for
Relax-o-vision Now I really have to pee
Thanks, I'm glad it wasn't totally random.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
tchuh whateva man
Awfully sassy all of a sudden, Wilson.
If there's one thing this show is dedicated to, it is showing you where the clothes are when everyone gets naked.
Gonna wheel out my rapebed in front of the huge windows, no problems here.
ALL THOSE DATAS ALL OVER YOUR DESK
Here's your new journal title, guys!
Just take our word for it okay
Quit it you booger!
O'Greenhair maybe you have a fetish
No rectal prolapses here!
i'm sorry have you started
i wasn't paying attention
not listeniinnngg
So much about this image
so much
Speaks pretty clearly for a guy rimming someone
Hahaha oh wow
Wilson you're a Ken doll!
O'Greenhair isn't listening, apparently. As a note the music during the rape sequence is so completely inappropriate, it's this triumphant end of the journey music like you'd hear at the end of an episode of some cartoon where everyone's saying goodbye after learning a valuable lesson. It's bizarre.
Have fun with your boats last night
Look at my new manicure
Wilson he's gone
What about his voice???
OH YEAH THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE SURE
This is almost thoughtful, Boku no Sexual Harrassment.
Kiiind of a fetish, O'Greenhair.
just fyi
I love it when we lounge around naked, it's so comforting.
NO PLOTS GOING ON HERE, MOVE ALONG
Getting chloroformed and raped by a psychopath is so embarrassing.
Stop pretending you have a plot, Boku no, you're not fooling anyone.
LIKE MY AMERICAN CAR
I'M VERY AMERICAN
He says pretty baby in english by the way, which is kind of hilarious.
and slowly drives two miles an hour away
DUN DUN DUUUNN
AND MY TRAINING BRA IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE
Just gotta get your poison ready here.
woah how'd your lips get in the way here, i was aiming for the window
But I still have my clothes on- oh.
As a note, here O'Greenhair keeps squiggling around, I guess like he's kissing his neck or something? And Wilson stays completely still, and basically this is animated very badly is what I'm saying.
THE AMERICAN DREAM
Yeah no I'm not feeling it tonight
I'm going to the bar, don't wait up.
MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE
This is not something you want to see under any circumstances.
I WAS GOING TO THROW YOU A WELCOME HOME PARTY
And then I guess O'Greenhair passes out. NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR
I'M JUST POURING A BOTTLE OF BOURBON UP YOUR BUTT, DON'T MIND ME
You poured wine up his butt, right? I'm sort of fuzzy on the details.
ARGH MY LAZY EYE
You believed Wilson before about that? What a rube.
The tapes of me raping him, that will show everyone!
Dueling Rape Tapes
O'Greenhair seems to be taking his rape pretty well so far.
ENTIRE BOTTLE OF BOURBON UP HIS COLON
Pretend for a moment that anyone cares about this and isn't just chanting CORN RAPE CORN RAPE WHERE'S THE CORN RAPE at the screen.
that makes my eyes uneven
I don't know why but this last shot is cracking me up. I just hear it in a really goofy voice I guess.
Sure, let's go with that.
I wonder why there are so many typos now? It's almost like the subtitler was distracted by something. Hmmmmm.
Your rape talents
ALL THE MIXTAPES YOU WANT, THEY'LL BE YOURS
lol this face
wait what
SO DEGRADING FOR A MANLY RAPE SEME SUCH AS YOURSELF
My god who did I marry
I just want to take a nap man cmon
NO?
TAKE THAT, GIRL FROM MIT WHO DUMPED ME! HAHAHAHAHA
yes that is how a butt works
hey a bug
REAL MEN HAVE THE SELF-CONFIDENCE AND BRAVADO THAT LETS YOU RAPE WITH NO REMORSE
rumors of wilson's beauty in bed are greatly exaggerated
CONVENIENT LENS REFLECTION
my god he was filled with paint
do i smell something
HERE YOU GO
WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR
Badtouch goes to the market, buys a single ear of corn two days in advance. This is going to be the most poetically appropriate revenge rape ever.
that carpet is hideous
The weirdest thing about this scene (aside from the fact it exists) is that O'Greenhair is completely stationary. Only the corn moves.
AND HE RAPES PEOPLE WITH CORN
LSD really kickin in now
Photogenic? Is that what you meant? Isn't that a compliment?
Here you go, buttered your corn for you.
LIKE YOU ENJOY SEX, THAT'S DISGUSTING
Just ram it on up there.
his alarming rape ability
AT LEAST YOU'LL ALWAYS LOVE ME, FIREFLIES
I thought maybe we'd have a discussion with the subtitler like in
Pöpcørn but no, this is all they had to say.
WHAT NEW SEXUAL ADVENTURES AWAIT WILSON?? ONLY THE FUTURE WILL TELL!