Since my last post
I guess I should of kept people up to date so that you all know I'm ok and not dead or anything.
Lets see... where to begin...
Well I am better since the last post. However, one thing is that no matter what... I still love her and she won't understand it. I don't know why I can't break it all together with her as hard as I try but it won't go away. See... I guess I would have to go a bit deeper...
There was a time she told me that she remembers having her first kiss by someone (if I recall... about 14 I think she said was her age at the time). A time where she had her first love. A time where she had feelings for someone, told them, and they never returned it.
See, as everyone knows, those are memories that can't disappear. A person like me who is visual and can remember places by sight compared to map... it is difficult for me especially to just "forget" those memories. I was told to forget the memories by her over the phone (Which I wonder if she wants me to get rid of it so it is gone from her as well or what...). So something in thought occurred to me about this whole thing...
What she doesn't get is that what happens with me and her is equivelent to what happened with her and the guys she had crushes on. I mean 1 didn't return her feelings and instead ignored her. The other didn't want to go out with her because of "not being too mature" thing. In a way, she is being like the guys in her case that didn't return it even after pouring their heart and soul into it.
But before I go since now my body is finally dozing off since I havn't had much sleep (lot of thinking last night), I was wondering if I ever loved her for the wrong reasons.
I will write more later on.
Lets see... where to begin...
Well I am better since the last post. However, one thing is that no matter what... I still love her and she won't understand it. I don't know why I can't break it all together with her as hard as I try but it won't go away. See... I guess I would have to go a bit deeper...
There was a time she told me that she remembers having her first kiss by someone (if I recall... about 14 I think she said was her age at the time). A time where she had her first love. A time where she had feelings for someone, told them, and they never returned it.
See, as everyone knows, those are memories that can't disappear. A person like me who is visual and can remember places by sight compared to map... it is difficult for me especially to just "forget" those memories. I was told to forget the memories by her over the phone (Which I wonder if she wants me to get rid of it so it is gone from her as well or what...). So something in thought occurred to me about this whole thing...
What she doesn't get is that what happens with me and her is equivelent to what happened with her and the guys she had crushes on. I mean 1 didn't return her feelings and instead ignored her. The other didn't want to go out with her because of "not being too mature" thing. In a way, she is being like the guys in her case that didn't return it even after pouring their heart and soul into it.
But before I go since now my body is finally dozing off since I havn't had much sleep (lot of thinking last night), I was wondering if I ever loved her for the wrong reasons.
I will write more later on.