Stage 4, Day five
So today is day 5 without smoking cigarettes. The Chantix is helping... but it's still hard. I don't have a whole lot to say except that I am ready to feel normal again. Last night I worked on sewing my coin belt to a regular belt. It's cute now and has a skull and cross bones belt buckle. I still have a long way to go but I am glad that I'm doing it... it seems that the belt itself was pretty poorly put together. Then it's on to sewing my bra top onto another bra in my spare time between now and the recital.
Had some drama and rage going on yesterday and the day before... I feel like I should apologize for my brutal honesty due to the lack of nicotine in my system but I also know that it was indeed honesty and I know that I worded it the best way I could without sounding like a 12 year old girl. Hopefully that will be the end of it. I hate that I let it build up so much... but there is this part of me that does not want any enemies and desperately wants to protect people from getting their feelings hurt. I can turn that off at work and put on protective skin where I can approach anyone I need to with confidence... once I get off work though it seems I return to quiet Sarah and that's something for me to work on for the future.
Today I am just sort of dazed... watching the minutes click by and not sure what to look forward to without having my smokes in the car for my long drive home. I am looking forward to a night with the boy... I have neglected him much over the past several days and he is suffering too... so I'd like to cook him dinner and clean up a bit when I get home. All other info about that is censored ;)
Just taking deep breaths and trying not to freak out... I can't wait for this to be over. I have a new Bollywood Box set of music.. so if you see some crazy girl doing Bhangra on the highway that's me!
Had some drama and rage going on yesterday and the day before... I feel like I should apologize for my brutal honesty due to the lack of nicotine in my system but I also know that it was indeed honesty and I know that I worded it the best way I could without sounding like a 12 year old girl. Hopefully that will be the end of it. I hate that I let it build up so much... but there is this part of me that does not want any enemies and desperately wants to protect people from getting their feelings hurt. I can turn that off at work and put on protective skin where I can approach anyone I need to with confidence... once I get off work though it seems I return to quiet Sarah and that's something for me to work on for the future.
Today I am just sort of dazed... watching the minutes click by and not sure what to look forward to without having my smokes in the car for my long drive home. I am looking forward to a night with the boy... I have neglected him much over the past several days and he is suffering too... so I'd like to cook him dinner and clean up a bit when I get home. All other info about that is censored ;)
Just taking deep breaths and trying not to freak out... I can't wait for this to be over. I have a new Bollywood Box set of music.. so if you see some crazy girl doing Bhangra on the highway that's me!