Closure Part 3
I am so sorry this took so long. I got like half way through it and couldn't decide where to go from there. Anyway, here's the third part.
Title: Closure Part 3
Author: Zanne88
Pairing: Callie/Erica
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Callie or Erica. They belong to Shonda and company.
Summary: Callie and Erica have a little chat.
A/N: This is really short because I wanted to get it up now. But there's more to this conversation that I'm going to go write as soon as I'm done posting. I felt like this was a good place to stop anyway, since I'm going to change the focus of the conversation in the next part.
Part 1
Part 2
Erica's POV
Silence.
I didn’t think this far ahead. I have no idea what I want to say to her. I didn’t give myself time to process everything she wrote. Though even if I had, I doubt anything would be different. Just hearing her voice again has left me speechless, my mind a blank.
Callie finally breaks the silence. “So… I, uh, guess you got my letter?”
“Yeah… yeah, I did,” I manage to reply.
“Erica, I am so sor…”
“Callie,” I interrupt her. “You don’t need to apologize anymore. I get it. And you said it’s my turn now, remember?”
“Yeah, okay.” Callie sounds hurt. Maybe that came out harsher than I meant it to. I’m not sure, but I push on anyway.
“I don’t think you realize how much you actually hurt me. I know you finally figured out what you did wrong, and I’m glad because that means you’re not a complete idiot.” She laughs. It’s not quite the full-body laugh I remember, but God, I really missed it. “But I don’t think you know the extent to which your words and actions have affected me. And that’s at least partially my fault.”
“Erica…”
“No, Callie, it’s true. I didn’t open up to you as much as I should have. You weren’t the only one struggling with the whole communication thing. I should’ve told you that I was scared too. That I was completely terrified on our first date. That everything was NOT okay when you came to me… that day.”
I can feel myself getting angry again, but I don’t want to be mad anymore. I want to truly be okay this time. So I pause, take a deep breath, and continue. “But honestly, Cal, I thought you knew. I thought you could see right through my façade. You seemed to have a knack for that from the very beginning of our friendship, without even trying.”
“I think… I think I was so blinded by my own stupid fears that I didn’t see you the same way anymore. Instead of my best friend, all I saw was this amazing, confident woman who I was falling for way too fast. And that scared the daylights out of me. I was so focused on myself and my own fears that I wasn’t even looking at you. The real you, I mean. Which is stupid because a relationship involves two people, not just one, so how I could be part of a relationship when I’m not even paying attention to the other…”
“Callie.”
“What?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Oh, sorry.”
I can’t help but laugh. “It’s okay. I kinda missed your ramblings.”
“I really missed your laugh.”
“I was thinking the same thing earlier.”
Neither of us speaks for a few moments, but it’s a comfortable silence. It reminds me of when we were just friends and could sit and talk for hours on end… or just sit in silence and enjoy each other’s company. Things were so much simpler then. I sigh and fill the silence once again, “So we both made mistakes, and we recognize that. And I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being angry and sad and hurt and lonely. Can we go back to being friends now?”
“I’d like that.”