eMail Rules

[zanedp]

I just wrote these because everyone has been having eMail problems lately. Some have been rather upsetting and dramatic, and others have just been annoyances. Hopefully, these rules will help everyone. Feel free to add more or let me know where I am way off-base. I know I've violated some of these rules and I apologize.

The numbers below do not indicate ranking. The numbers are simply for referencing in the comments, if necessary.
For senders:

1. Have a "subject" line. A blank subject is basically saying, "not important enough to warrant a subject. don't bother reading it." Don't use the subject "email," either, because the reader already knows it's an eMail.
2. Have a meaningful subject line. Subject lines help the receiver prioritize it: If the subject of an eMail is "River trip this Saturday," someone at work can wait about reading it until they get home. Compare that subject to "Need ride from airport at 3pm." That one obviously needs to be read right now. Also, a meaningful subject line can help the receiver find the eMail later if they read it now, but are currently too busy to respond. Dates and times in subject lines are helpful for prioritizing.
3. If you expect a response, ask a direct question in the eMail. Questions-as we all learned in 4th grade-end with a question mark (?). If you don't ask at least one question in your eMail, don't expect a reply. An exception is if you say, "Please send me your thoughts." However, asking "Could you please send me your thoughts?" is better because the ? will stand out as needing a response to someone quickly scanning the eMail.
4. If someone hasn't responded to your eMail, do not ask "Did you get my eMail?" because the next question will invariably be "What eMail?"
5. If someone hasn't responded to your eMail, resend it with a gentle reminder that it's the second time you've sent it. You can find a copy of it in your "Sent Mail" folder. If you used a meaningful subject line before, the message you're looking for will be easier to find.
6. If someone hasn't responded to your eMail, and a response is time critical, resend early. If the response is not time critical, wait a few days before you resend the eMail.
7. Remember that the receiver is busy, and may have to deal with literally hundreds of eMails in a day in addition to everything else in their life. If you don't get a response as soon as you'd expect, resend it after re-reading the original eMail to ensure that your wording indicates that you expect a response.
8. Some eMail programs allow you to set a "priority." Don't expect the recipient to notice you set a "high" priority, because not all eMail programs support that feature.
9. Do not rely on "return receipts."
10. Strive to keep your "Address Book" or "Contacts List" up-to-date with current eMail addresses.
11. If someone hasn't responded to your eMail, do not jump to conclusions about why they haven't. This may be hard sometimes, but don't do it!
12. From Ibraheem via Facebook:  An email is not a text message or an instant message. Use proper punctuation, grammar and spelling. This will help you sound professional and your message will get a much better reception even if it's informal. (Added June 20, 2009)
13. From Brian via eMail:  Do not send emotions “between the lines”.  Such actions get out of control fast.  Send and read “just the facts” and if you find them unpalatable, add salt. (Added June 20, 2009)

For receivers:

1. If the eMail asks you a direct question, you are expected to respond. If it is something time-critical like plans for that evening or in a day or two, reply soon. If it's a financial matter, reply as soon as possible (immediately).
2. If you read an eMail you need to respond to and can't respond immediately, mark it so you can find it later. GMail allows you to "star" a message so that when you see it in your inbox, there's a little yellow star reminding you to look at it again. Other mail systems allow you to "flag" a message that you want to look at later. Most systems also let you mark a message you read as "unread" so it still shows up in bold like a new message you've never read before. A post-it note on your computer monitor might be a good way to remind yourself to respond as well.
3. If someone sends you the same eMail twice (or asks you the same question twice), then you've already waited longer than they're comfortable with before sending a reply. Don't take that as an insult to you: just realize that the sender may be awaiting your response before making some other decision and have a different timeline than you. Reply immediately and apologize for the delay in your response. If you still cannot answer the sender's question immediately, let the sender know at this time.
4. No one should ever have to resend the same eMail to you three times. If they do, then you've ignored them too many times and you are likely sending the message "You are unimportant to me, and unworthy of any acknowledgement" whether you mean to or not.
5. Some people will put the letters "AR:" in front of their subject line to indicate that their eMail has an "action required." Be sure you look at those eMails to figure out what action is required on your part. This is particularly common in the business environments I've encountered.
6. If someone sends you many eMails with direct questions in them, and you don't respond to any of them, then you are sending the message "You are unimportant to me, and unworthy of any acknowledgement" whether you mean to or not.
7. If someone sends you an eMail that says, "How are you?," then it means the sender is thinking of you and values your relationship. Show them that you care by responding.
8. If you are responding to an eMail with multiple recipients, click "Reply to all" rather than just "Reply" if your response is something that everyone else would be interested in.
9. If you receive a long or well thought-out eMail that the sender obvious put a fair amount of effort into, thank the sender.
10. If someone sends you an "invite" from their calendar program, click "Yes," "No," or "Maybe."
11. If someone sends you an eMail, do not respond by TXT message unless directed to do so. Some people do not have TXT messages. Responding via TXT to one of those people is the same as not responding.
12. Inform others when your eMail address changes, preferably using the new eMail address rather than the old.
13. For people with high-volume eMail, I don't know whether you should send a "thanks" or not when they've provided a service, especially one that is part of their job duties. I'm guessing a "Thanks" even when unnecessary is better than no "thanks" when it is necessary, so err on the side of caution.
14. If you appreciate someone's "funny" eMails, respond with "ha ha" to let the receiver know you liked it.
15. When in doubt, send a response, even if it's just "ACK" (acknowledged).
16. From Brian via eMail: Do not read emotions “between the lines”.  Such actions get out of control fast.  Send and read “just the facts” and if you find them unpalatable, add salt. (Added June 20, 2009)