Awrkward.
Awesome. There was no line at Rain tonight. I meandered into the night club after I revealed my ID to the bouncer only to find the place jam packed anyway. Damn. Large crowds scare me, but part of me secretly enjoyed shoving people aside to get through, possibly spilling some of a 6$ drink. I went straight to the outside area; the bartender there remembers me and usually gives me a generous portion of vodka in my mixed drinks. I figure someone recognizing my menial existence is worth at least a dollar tip. But this time it's impossible to get to him. People crowd around and I can't be sure if they're even in line or not. Guh. The other bartender's area is completely void of people though. Ooh what the hell? I order my usual, a double cherry vodka sour. Shutup. It's delicious. For some reason he always reminded me of Tom. I watched him pour vodka almost to the top of the glass before topping it off with s&s and grenadine. Awesome.
See, I was suppose to hang out with John P. today. I mean, we set the date a week ago. That's why I skipped out on the BBQ. I set the whole day aside for him only to get a "I stayed up too late playing Second Life (wtf?). I'm going to take a nap," in return. He wakes up at 5, so I say "Okay, let's meet at Amy's on Burnet." Arrive and wait and wait and wait. "Oh, you're already there?" Guhhh. He gets there at 7pm. get some food, climb some walls, watch some Wonder Showzen. It's not a complete waste, I guess. He says he's going to turn in early and leaves. Huh. He say's he's interested in me and wants to get to know me more etc etc, and that I need to pay attention, but I'm not really seeing it. At all.
I heard Maru wanted to go downtown tonight and Tofu said he'd meet me down here, but I'm pretty sure game night takes precedence over this. Not exactly holding my breath or anything. If life has taught me anything at all, it's to bring a book, figuratively speaking. I was prepared to have a good time by myself, maybe dance with some strangers. Eheh.
So the night pressed on. As I danced, I started to imagine all the people it would be completely awkward to meet down there. Teachers I've had? Awkward. Starbucks regular? Awkward. Well, unless it's Joshua. Then it would be my wildest dreams come true. Woof.
"Alex?"
"Uh? Katy?" awkward.
"Hey look who I found!" she turned to someone I couldn't quite see.
"Alex!" Katy's mother? Even more awkward.
"Haha, so you like guys, huh?" Awkward.
"I guess you could say that."
"Figured." Thanks.
"So how's Kim doing?" Oh jeez. Awkward awkward awkward.
Let's rewind a decade or two. Katy, Kim and I were best buds. We'd hang out all the time. I'm pretty sure Katy taught my sister and I how to swim. We were our own tiny trio. Then shit happened. Katy fell out of the loop and Kim moved around switching schools around for years. This is part my of my life I've neglected for some time.
"Uhh.. she's gone.."
"Whaaat?" I'm not surprised they can't hear me. What, with the heavy beat, flashing lights and drunk people yattering. I'm not sure how I'm suppose to say this.
"She passed away."
"Whaaat? What happened?!"
"She killed herself."
"Whaaat?" I could see tears welling up in Katy's eyes. "Why would she do that?" She disappeared into the crowd before I could answer.
Angela took my arm and led me to the closest bar, "Here, you must need a drink. You two were close. Vodka and redbull?"
"Uh, sure."
"So Alex, this is X," she motioned to a tall black man who's been slightly hovering, "X, this is Alex. I've known him since he was teeny tiny!"
The man looked me up and down, and kinda smirked. I knew what he was thinking and it's totally not funny.
"Hey, are you gay?" Another man approached me.
"Perhaps,"
"Well, do you dance?"
"Of course I do." He nabbed my arm and led me back to the dance floor and we danced the night away. At the time, I thought he was with Katy, Angela and X, but now that I think about it, I think he was just some random guy.
Huh.
See, I was suppose to hang out with John P. today. I mean, we set the date a week ago. That's why I skipped out on the BBQ. I set the whole day aside for him only to get a "I stayed up too late playing Second Life (wtf?). I'm going to take a nap," in return. He wakes up at 5, so I say "Okay, let's meet at Amy's on Burnet." Arrive and wait and wait and wait. "Oh, you're already there?" Guhhh. He gets there at 7pm. get some food, climb some walls, watch some Wonder Showzen. It's not a complete waste, I guess. He says he's going to turn in early and leaves. Huh. He say's he's interested in me and wants to get to know me more etc etc, and that I need to pay attention, but I'm not really seeing it. At all.
I heard Maru wanted to go downtown tonight and Tofu said he'd meet me down here, but I'm pretty sure game night takes precedence over this. Not exactly holding my breath or anything. If life has taught me anything at all, it's to bring a book, figuratively speaking. I was prepared to have a good time by myself, maybe dance with some strangers. Eheh.
So the night pressed on. As I danced, I started to imagine all the people it would be completely awkward to meet down there. Teachers I've had? Awkward. Starbucks regular? Awkward. Well, unless it's Joshua. Then it would be my wildest dreams come true. Woof.
"Alex?"
"Uh? Katy?" awkward.
"Hey look who I found!" she turned to someone I couldn't quite see.
"Alex!" Katy's mother? Even more awkward.
"Haha, so you like guys, huh?" Awkward.
"I guess you could say that."
"Figured." Thanks.
"So how's Kim doing?" Oh jeez. Awkward awkward awkward.
Let's rewind a decade or two. Katy, Kim and I were best buds. We'd hang out all the time. I'm pretty sure Katy taught my sister and I how to swim. We were our own tiny trio. Then shit happened. Katy fell out of the loop and Kim moved around switching schools around for years. This is part my of my life I've neglected for some time.
"Uhh.. she's gone.."
"Whaaat?" I'm not surprised they can't hear me. What, with the heavy beat, flashing lights and drunk people yattering. I'm not sure how I'm suppose to say this.
"She passed away."
"Whaaat? What happened?!"
"She killed herself."
"Whaaat?" I could see tears welling up in Katy's eyes. "Why would she do that?" She disappeared into the crowd before I could answer.
Angela took my arm and led me to the closest bar, "Here, you must need a drink. You two were close. Vodka and redbull?"
"Uh, sure."
"So Alex, this is X," she motioned to a tall black man who's been slightly hovering, "X, this is Alex. I've known him since he was teeny tiny!"
The man looked me up and down, and kinda smirked. I knew what he was thinking and it's totally not funny.
"Hey, are you gay?" Another man approached me.
"Perhaps,"
"Well, do you dance?"
"Of course I do." He nabbed my arm and led me back to the dance floor and we danced the night away. At the time, I thought he was with Katy, Angela and X, but now that I think about it, I think he was just some random guy.
Huh.