Even though I didn't mean to, I finally burnt some bridges connecting me to a past I have mostly tried to move beyond. I was hoping to not burn them, but burnt they are
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Mostly, personal clashes. It wasn't sudden, it just wasn't something I ever talked to you about. Most everyone involved in the, as Sparkey put its, "major faggotry" saw this coming. I've kinda been butting heads with a few people more and more often over the past couple months. My ability to keep on keepin' on got worn down to the point where I wanted to just make BF disappear from my life without having to make the people I enjoy talking to all the time disappear with it.
I really don't want to have to fake liking people for the sake of avoiding being unpopular anymore. I want to stop getting guilt-tripped in to caring about people that I really don't care about. I feel like I have to be suportive and encouraging when I honestly feel the exact opposite. I felt like in order to stay friends with people I have grown to love, I had to deal with parts of peoples lives I had no desire or reason to be involved in.
Basically, I felt like I was being walled in to a role that I really don't play in any other part of my life. I am an asshole. I will never be anything but an asshole. But I'm an asshole who is real fucking loyal to those he cares about the most. I insult people when I think they deserve it. I insult people even when I don't think they deserve it. And I don't take kindly to be told to be something else. Being asked to reword my insults so they don't come across quite as strongly is one thing. Being made to feel that I am not allowed to be myself is another. I felt like the latter was happening.
There is a difference between restricting free speech and insisting that my personal space that I have carved out for myself and for people that I enjoy talking to is not invaded by things that have become a source of negative energy in my life. I don't care if people don't like me, so long as they let me be me, and respect the fact that I don't want things that I don't like around me. If they don't like me being around them, then they can not come near me. But I am fucking sick of being made to feel like I always have to be the one who backs down.
While I apologized for the way things happened, I am not going to apologize for my sentiments. They are how I feel.
We tolerate Telek, we tolerated Necrobile, we tolerate Phantomgrift, and you know what, all three of them are complete asshats. Just remember that there are a -lot- of people who won't like you later, and that too is okay.
Conflicting messages. You say you're an asshole, but the rest of that little bit there says you're nice.
Make like me, I mostly ignore people I don't care to talk to on BF, and still bum around the chat and the forums for the few people around who I enjoy talking to. It's why I'm still around there, really. That, and it's a great time waster, since my usual time waster, video games, costs more money than I head(IE, more expensive than free)
I tried that, and then I noticed I was never posting anymore in any threads. Nothing seemed to interest me. I figure, when that happens, it's time to go.
I really don't want to have to fake liking people for the sake of avoiding being unpopular anymore. I want to stop getting guilt-tripped in to caring about people that I really don't care about. I feel like I have to be suportive and encouraging when I honestly feel the exact opposite. I felt like in order to stay friends with people I have grown to love, I had to deal with parts of peoples lives I had no desire or reason to be involved in.
Basically, I felt like I was being walled in to a role that I really don't play in any other part of my life. I am an asshole. I will never be anything but an asshole. But I'm an asshole who is real fucking loyal to those he cares about the most. I insult people when I think they deserve it. I insult people even when I don't think they deserve it. And I don't take kindly to be told to be something else. Being asked to reword my insults so they don't come across quite as strongly is one thing. Being made to feel that I am not allowed to be myself is another. I felt like the latter was happening.
There is a difference between restricting free speech and insisting that my personal space that I have carved out for myself and for people that I enjoy talking to is not invaded by things that have become a source of negative energy in my life. I don't care if people don't like me, so long as they let me be me, and respect the fact that I don't want things that I don't like around me. If they don't like me being around them, then they can not come near me. But I am fucking sick of being made to feel like I always have to be the one who backs down.
While I apologized for the way things happened, I am not going to apologize for my sentiments. They are how I feel.
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We tolerate Telek, we tolerated Necrobile, we tolerate Phantomgrift, and you know what, all three of them are complete asshats. Just remember that there are a -lot- of people who won't like you later, and that too is okay.
Reply
Make like me, I mostly ignore people I don't care to talk to on BF, and still bum around the chat and the forums for the few people around who I enjoy talking to. It's why I'm still around there, really. That, and it's a great time waster, since my usual time waster, video games, costs more money than I head(IE, more expensive than free)
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