Joel
Nothing is better than not enough, but I guess it's too sad to say, but I don't think that's the case here, and I like it better anyway, and battles are for the weak of heart, and I just don't have the time, so stop asking what is ailing me; I told you, I am fine, and I hate this wasted energy, so I put it to better use, but before I know what's hit me, you went and rattled off some lame excuse, and now my mind is baffled, and I don't know what irony is, but I swear that because I can't understand it, there must be some of it hidden in this,
Because all I can see is your face in my head, and your eyes are burning my brain, and I can't help but wonder if I lost by becoming a glutton, obsessed with gain, and gaining time means nothing, without a way to spend it in peace, and peace is nothing without prayer, so give me a reason to pray again, but I don't wish to complain, complaining solves nothing and only brings pain, the most cliche overused and beautiful word that I have ever uttered or been so unfortunate to have heard, like I heard you singing there, in that distant so close by, but when I tried to cross the bridge, it burned, but at least you waved goodbye, and I asked you in that moment how awkward it might be, if we still said hello, but you said "no, you're still important to me," and I laughed and was satisfied, until my hands stopped shaking, because then I was scared, I had been unprepared, and now my heart is breaking, but I can't blame you for the damage you've done, for it was by no fault of your own, that I would become so anxious just to hear your voice on the phone, like the time I called you, and you asked me out instead, but it didn't mean a thing to you; that half was just in my head, and now it's filled with all these troubles, and I just can't get them all out, because I just can't pray and type fast enough, and it's easier just to pout, but I know better things are coming; God promised this to me, but I need to practice patience and trust to gain any type of clarity on this topic of conversation that no one else seems to hear, about how just this last Sunday, God cured me of my deepest fear, and everything is all better, except that I can't seem to move on, so I sat down to write it all out in the lyrics of a strange, uneven, and musicless song- a song like the one you wrote for me, or not really for me at all, but something that was already in your head, way back, before I took that fall, and I wrote out the lyrics and threw them away, but I wrote them still once again, anything to impress you, but I suppose it didn't help much in the end, because here I am in this odd moment, writing the way that I think, except now I am rhyming, and I don't know why, and I feel as though I'm on the brink of something fantastic, right in front of my face, but I can't see what's coming, for your voice has blinded my vision, and I lack the needed cunning to break this vicious cycle, and so send thanks to God above that He is the answer to all my doubts, that He can shower me with the love that you cannot show me, because you are human, and can't choose to love me as I do you, and none of this seems to matter, because I have already been through the point I meant, if there was one at all, and I suppose it is just that even if you don't love love me, I know that I absolutely must just put faith in God, as if this were a prayer, which I guess in a roundabout way, it just might be, because I know that every single long, lonely day, He is right here beside me, lifting me up, leading as though I was blind, into a place where happiness waits, if I'll just let Him take the time that is neccessary to lead to things that in the end will be mine, but it's late now, and I need to sleep, so thanks for taking out the time of your day to listen to me for once, and just listen to what I had to say, because it means so much to me that I wasn't interrupted or bombarded the way that so often people who are trying to help tend to try to do, and that includes me, so for once and for all, I apologize to all of you.
Because all I can see is your face in my head, and your eyes are burning my brain, and I can't help but wonder if I lost by becoming a glutton, obsessed with gain, and gaining time means nothing, without a way to spend it in peace, and peace is nothing without prayer, so give me a reason to pray again, but I don't wish to complain, complaining solves nothing and only brings pain, the most cliche overused and beautiful word that I have ever uttered or been so unfortunate to have heard, like I heard you singing there, in that distant so close by, but when I tried to cross the bridge, it burned, but at least you waved goodbye, and I asked you in that moment how awkward it might be, if we still said hello, but you said "no, you're still important to me," and I laughed and was satisfied, until my hands stopped shaking, because then I was scared, I had been unprepared, and now my heart is breaking, but I can't blame you for the damage you've done, for it was by no fault of your own, that I would become so anxious just to hear your voice on the phone, like the time I called you, and you asked me out instead, but it didn't mean a thing to you; that half was just in my head, and now it's filled with all these troubles, and I just can't get them all out, because I just can't pray and type fast enough, and it's easier just to pout, but I know better things are coming; God promised this to me, but I need to practice patience and trust to gain any type of clarity on this topic of conversation that no one else seems to hear, about how just this last Sunday, God cured me of my deepest fear, and everything is all better, except that I can't seem to move on, so I sat down to write it all out in the lyrics of a strange, uneven, and musicless song- a song like the one you wrote for me, or not really for me at all, but something that was already in your head, way back, before I took that fall, and I wrote out the lyrics and threw them away, but I wrote them still once again, anything to impress you, but I suppose it didn't help much in the end, because here I am in this odd moment, writing the way that I think, except now I am rhyming, and I don't know why, and I feel as though I'm on the brink of something fantastic, right in front of my face, but I can't see what's coming, for your voice has blinded my vision, and I lack the needed cunning to break this vicious cycle, and so send thanks to God above that He is the answer to all my doubts, that He can shower me with the love that you cannot show me, because you are human, and can't choose to love me as I do you, and none of this seems to matter, because I have already been through the point I meant, if there was one at all, and I suppose it is just that even if you don't love love me, I know that I absolutely must just put faith in God, as if this were a prayer, which I guess in a roundabout way, it just might be, because I know that every single long, lonely day, He is right here beside me, lifting me up, leading as though I was blind, into a place where happiness waits, if I'll just let Him take the time that is neccessary to lead to things that in the end will be mine, but it's late now, and I need to sleep, so thanks for taking out the time of your day to listen to me for once, and just listen to what I had to say, because it means so much to me that I wasn't interrupted or bombarded the way that so often people who are trying to help tend to try to do, and that includes me, so for once and for all, I apologize to all of you.