(no subject)
81 hours since I tasted nicotine and I am hallucinating various bunnies drunk with blue light hopping across the parking lot. I don't are what it takes. It may not be easy but it's quite simple: I no longer inhale harmful tobacco smoke into my lungs. No matter how hard my psyche may scream for its requisite fix, I have drawn the line. Am I slave to my body and my body a slave to artificial appetite? I can't stand this. I no longer smoke, damn the consequences. The harsher the withdrawal symptoms the more it becomes apparent that this step was absolutely necessary. I smoked more than anyone I knew. More than a pack a day. I hate to keep talking about it but it's scarcely possible for me to think of anything else. I am losing my mind and it's totally worth it.
81 hours and I have broken the camel's back. I have passed the hump. It can only get easier and my biggest weakness now comes in the form of arrogance or cockiness. In the next two months I will have cravings that I might justify to myself and think, oh I can have just one. I am unable to have just one. I have tried that before and it does not take too long before I am back to smoking a pack a day.
I bought "a dance with dragons" today because I thought- here is a book in which I can absorb myself. It will give me something to do. On top of quitting smoking I have been biking ten miles a days and running two miles a day. Along with sit-up, push-ups, and weight-lifting. I'm tired of being out of shape.
I want to self-actualize. I want to become what I am capable of becoming.
81 hours and I have broken the camel's back. I have passed the hump. It can only get easier and my biggest weakness now comes in the form of arrogance or cockiness. In the next two months I will have cravings that I might justify to myself and think, oh I can have just one. I am unable to have just one. I have tried that before and it does not take too long before I am back to smoking a pack a day.
I bought "a dance with dragons" today because I thought- here is a book in which I can absorb myself. It will give me something to do. On top of quitting smoking I have been biking ten miles a days and running two miles a day. Along with sit-up, push-ups, and weight-lifting. I'm tired of being out of shape.
I want to self-actualize. I want to become what I am capable of becoming.