The Girdle of Solitude
04-19-11 (cross-pollinated from my actual journal)
Total emotional breakdown today. I'm hiding it well. I don't have anyone to talk to. It's hard to explain to a bunch of 24 year old guys and 21 year old girls why I don't want to go to Gainesville (Three and a half hour drive North on 75.) Because I'm 31 years old and totally alone and on my own for the first time in my life and I'm having a hard time adapting myself in Sarasota.
Omfg. The older sister of the German girl I've been hanging around just walked in to Big E's. Undoubtedly her little sister told her the story about how I tried to kiss her last night. I felt much less of a cad before she just sat down behind me.
I want to meet someone who's nice.
And hopefully less schizophrenic than myself.
And hopefully not reading this over my shoulder as I type.
I can't stop imagining being read by beautiful and intelligent women.
It's what I live for.
But for now I'm just going to read my book called "The Masters of Solitude."
At two of the last three or four dates I've been on, I've had my debit card get turned down. Once- at Whole Foods in downtown Sarasota while buying wine and cheese for a wine and cheese party. Fortunately I wasn't too embarrassed because I explained beforehand that it would likely happen.
It did. I thought I might have $13.73 dollars left on it. I didn't. So I removed one of the cheeses. $10.38? No. I took another small cheese out of the bag while fending off my date who kept insisting that she was going to pay for it. $7.73? Even the cashier felt sorry for me as she gave me the slightest nod of her head to indicate that no, it was not accepted.
So, my date paid and I knew that I was definitely not trying to kiss her...
Still better than bouncing I think.
Total emotional breakdown today. I'm hiding it well. I don't have anyone to talk to. It's hard to explain to a bunch of 24 year old guys and 21 year old girls why I don't want to go to Gainesville (Three and a half hour drive North on 75.) Because I'm 31 years old and totally alone and on my own for the first time in my life and I'm having a hard time adapting myself in Sarasota.
Omfg. The older sister of the German girl I've been hanging around just walked in to Big E's. Undoubtedly her little sister told her the story about how I tried to kiss her last night. I felt much less of a cad before she just sat down behind me.
I want to meet someone who's nice.
And hopefully less schizophrenic than myself.
And hopefully not reading this over my shoulder as I type.
I can't stop imagining being read by beautiful and intelligent women.
It's what I live for.
But for now I'm just going to read my book called "The Masters of Solitude."
At two of the last three or four dates I've been on, I've had my debit card get turned down. Once- at Whole Foods in downtown Sarasota while buying wine and cheese for a wine and cheese party. Fortunately I wasn't too embarrassed because I explained beforehand that it would likely happen.
It did. I thought I might have $13.73 dollars left on it. I didn't. So I removed one of the cheeses. $10.38? No. I took another small cheese out of the bag while fending off my date who kept insisting that she was going to pay for it. $7.73? Even the cashier felt sorry for me as she gave me the slightest nod of her head to indicate that no, it was not accepted.
So, my date paid and I knew that I was definitely not trying to kiss her...
Still better than bouncing I think.