what am i doing?
i could be working on a paper
i have two extensions and that's working out well for me
i feel less like having a nervous a breakdown and more like getting my shit done
i quit the dance team
boy was that dramatic.
i'm so glad that i've realized i don't have time for petty bullshit
i hung out with michael tonight. an old friend from debate team and the literary magazine back in high school. it's so weird, because we went to prom together, randomly. we had fun.
tonight was fun. it was really good to see him. i'm glad we're still friends.
that's so fucking boring and vague "tonight was fun. i'm glad we're friends"...ugh.
when am i ever going to be able to write to where someone else might actually be interested in reading what the hell i write?
if you used to write and people used to think that you were good at it and now you can't write anymore, is that because you sucked at writing in the first place or because you've got a serious writer's block or what?
it's one in the morning and i have energy. stop it, damnit.
i should be reading hannah arendt's totalitarianism. i actually really enjoy the book. but there's absolutely nothing superfluous in her writing. each word is on point and so carefully chosen--it takes me about an hour to read 15 freaking pages.
i'm convinced that the fact that i can't write has to do with 1) camron's piece-of-shit-ness, 2) the fact that all i read these days has to do with race, class, poverty, human rights, dumbass neo-cons, etc. 3) my time is devoted to writing papers, working, interning, and volunteering, 4) i actually have to think about paying bills, and i'm living on half of what i used to make 5) something else.
i refuse to become someone who's forever in the rut of "adulthood". adult as in "well, i can't do anything i enjoy anymore because i've officially plugged myself in, meaning i only care about surviving and making sure i can redecorate the kitchen". What is that?
Why the hell do so many people accept that?
That saying about how when you're young your democrat and when you get old you're republican...that's such bullshit. That means you've just died inside. And while when it really comes down to it, there's nothing wrong with being moderate, or having conservative views on certain issues...but how can you just stop fighting for your rights to not be violated? how could you just be like, well, i really like money now, so fuck it. that's what it's about right?
why do people expect me to be so "wow, what you just said was so enlightening" when they talk about how they realized that money wasn't such a big deal after all. they automatically assume, "all you want is money, right?"
i'm like....i'm going into clinical social work. you think i care about rolling in the dough?
hell to the naw.
this is going nowhere...and more and more i'm regretting having this diary.
that's another thing...the idea that your livejournal should somehow live up to some asshole's standards of efficiency and awesomeness in writing...that's so annoying.
i'm so close to being burned out in school...i just want a change in routine.
i can't do this for much longer, let's just hope i can make it through the next two weeks.
i just need some wine and some sex.
i don't know what this is all about.
--Evi D.
i have two extensions and that's working out well for me
i feel less like having a nervous a breakdown and more like getting my shit done
i quit the dance team
boy was that dramatic.
i'm so glad that i've realized i don't have time for petty bullshit
i hung out with michael tonight. an old friend from debate team and the literary magazine back in high school. it's so weird, because we went to prom together, randomly. we had fun.
tonight was fun. it was really good to see him. i'm glad we're still friends.
that's so fucking boring and vague "tonight was fun. i'm glad we're friends"...ugh.
when am i ever going to be able to write to where someone else might actually be interested in reading what the hell i write?
if you used to write and people used to think that you were good at it and now you can't write anymore, is that because you sucked at writing in the first place or because you've got a serious writer's block or what?
it's one in the morning and i have energy. stop it, damnit.
i should be reading hannah arendt's totalitarianism. i actually really enjoy the book. but there's absolutely nothing superfluous in her writing. each word is on point and so carefully chosen--it takes me about an hour to read 15 freaking pages.
i'm convinced that the fact that i can't write has to do with 1) camron's piece-of-shit-ness, 2) the fact that all i read these days has to do with race, class, poverty, human rights, dumbass neo-cons, etc. 3) my time is devoted to writing papers, working, interning, and volunteering, 4) i actually have to think about paying bills, and i'm living on half of what i used to make 5) something else.
i refuse to become someone who's forever in the rut of "adulthood". adult as in "well, i can't do anything i enjoy anymore because i've officially plugged myself in, meaning i only care about surviving and making sure i can redecorate the kitchen". What is that?
Why the hell do so many people accept that?
That saying about how when you're young your democrat and when you get old you're republican...that's such bullshit. That means you've just died inside. And while when it really comes down to it, there's nothing wrong with being moderate, or having conservative views on certain issues...but how can you just stop fighting for your rights to not be violated? how could you just be like, well, i really like money now, so fuck it. that's what it's about right?
why do people expect me to be so "wow, what you just said was so enlightening" when they talk about how they realized that money wasn't such a big deal after all. they automatically assume, "all you want is money, right?"
i'm like....i'm going into clinical social work. you think i care about rolling in the dough?
hell to the naw.
this is going nowhere...and more and more i'm regretting having this diary.
that's another thing...the idea that your livejournal should somehow live up to some asshole's standards of efficiency and awesomeness in writing...that's so annoying.
i'm so close to being burned out in school...i just want a change in routine.
i can't do this for much longer, let's just hope i can make it through the next two weeks.
i just need some wine and some sex.
i don't know what this is all about.
--Evi D.