Day 13, 5:30
[After his fight with Wolfram here*Jerey doesn’t speak to him as they make their way outside, and he’s thankful for it. His head is just so full and his heart so heavy he feels like if he starts talking, he’ll explode. Without being asked, Jerey saddles up a horse and takes him out to the field behind the ball stadium Conrad had built. Once they
( Read more... )
"Yuuri . . . What I am going to tell you know may be the hardest thing you'll ever have to hear, so listen to me very closely . . ."
He opens his eyes and looks over at the boy, but his seemingly perpetual smile is nowhere in evidence. Instead, he merely looks . . . sad. "Yuuri is . . . precious. Important. Loved . . . by everyone. But Yuuri is also the King. I call you 'Heika' and you don't like it because it puts distance between us, but whether you like it or not, there is distance between us. You. Are. The. Maou.
"You are above us. Above me. Above Wolfram. Above Gwendal . . . You are our liege and our lord whom we are sworn to serve and that position trumps being a parent and a lover and a friend and a spouse. We are your servants before we are anything else to you. And that includes myself. And that includes Wolfram.
That is what it means to be King. You are isolated by your power. We can support you. Protect you. Guard you and be your working will abroad, but none of us can be your equal or your guide. But you're not one of the Gods. Even the Shinou makes mistakes. You'll be wrong. You'll have accidents. You'll forget some things and let others slide through the cracks . . . You cannot save the world, Yuuri. You're only one person. But you can help change the world and that is what you've done. It's what you've been doing. And when you fail and if you fall, we'll all be there to catch you and to help you. We may not be able to walk the path for you, but we can at least follow a step behind. That's what we're here for."
The man looks away and stares out across the field at some distant point only he can see. His voice is soft and as distant as his gaze. "There is a light in you, Yuuri. You shine . . . so, so brightly . . . People cannot help but be drawn to you. They cannot help but love you. We are proud of you. And your people--all of them--love you. They would happily die for you without hesitation."
Brown eyes flicker back to wide obsidian. "The only way you could ever possibly fail us would be to give up. To walk away. My father once told me this and now I am telling you: 'Keep fighting and don't ever stop. Keep your head up and look them in the eyes like a man. Because if you quit . . . If you ever give up, then they've beaten you. Then you really have lost and there's nothing left. So don't ever stop fighting.'
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that you are the King. We trust you with our lives. The whole kingdom does. We have set you up on a pedestal and have faith in you. But we don't expect you to be perfect. No one is perfect, Yuuri. What's important is that you keep trying, do your best, do what you know in your heart to be the right thing, and don't ever give up. And when and if you make a mistake, we'll be there for you. Even though you may feel lonely sometimes, you're not alone. We won't let you fall. We won't let you down. And we will do anything necessary to see that you succeed in whatever you do.
"Those things you mentioned? What we have all fought so hard for? What Julia died for?
"It's you, Yuuri. All of it . . . it's all for you."
Reply
*Because he likes being ‘just Yuuri’. That’s who he is, and he’s been trying to hold onto it ever since he came here. He’s been their ruler, but hasn’t accepted the fact that he’s really top dog. After all, he’s a kid; but not in the eyes of his people. And this knowledge, laid out by one he trusts, presented so plain and simply, is unavoidably taken in.*
When I was a kid *he starts finally, taking a deep breath* there was this one day in school when the teacher asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up. The first kids had very normal answers; a ballerina, a cowboy, a doctor, a racecar driver. And then one kid said that he wanted to be the Emperor of Japan.
All of a sudden, all the answers changed. When they thought that they could do that, they wanted to be a Princess, a Knight, a King, a Duchess, a Unicorn (she was a strange girl), the Prime Minister. But then it was my turn, and I said the thing that I had picked out before they all started changing their answers. I said that I wanted to be a baseball player.
They were….amused. The kids that had gone first had changed their answers; I was the only person who didn’t.
But that was okay with me, because I didn’t want to be royalty. I didn’t want the power, the fame, the glory, the wealth, the obedience, the girls, or even the adventure. And maybe, that’s why Shinou picked me. I don’t know everything yet, but that’s okay. Because I’m willing to learn, I WANT to learn. But I don’t think it’s all for me, really.
*He smiles softly* It’s for all of us. For every man, woman, and child who live here and look forward to the future, it’s for them too. For me, for them, and for you Conrad. You fought so hard for it, it’s part of you too. For everyone who keeps struggling against the odds, for those who wish for peace, for those who gives their lives and hearts to protecting those who are weaker than themselves, everything I do it for all of them.
It’s even for those who have given up, because a little hope can give the weakest man strength. I want Greta to never never have to be ashamed of being human and grow up in a safe, loving place. I want, I want Gwendal to smile, and Wolfram to forgive. I want Cheri to be at peace and to let go of the past that troubles her.
*He closes his eyes and stands, taking a few steps away and soaking in all of Conrad’s warmth, friendship, promise, and hope, and holds it close to his heart* And for you, I want peace. Of mind, of heart.
Arigato, Conrad. *He opens his eyes slowly, tiny tears like glass beads clinging to his eyelashes even as gentle light removes the darkness from his vision so that he can see the other half-breed’s compassionate face. He smiles and reaches out for Conrad’s hand, grasping it tight* I’ll never forget you. And maybe, someday, we’ll meet here again?
Reply
The brunet releases the boy’s hand and takes a step closer to press a ghost of a kiss against Yuuri’s forehead. “. . . Don’t despair, Yuuri. One way or another, I will always be by your side, and I believe in you more than anything else in this world.”
There is a momentary stir of gravel as Conrad steps back and then he bows deeply, a formal bow similar to the one preformed at the engagement ceremony when he swore fealty to the Royal Couple. He smiles one last time and then turns away without a word of goodbye, exiting the dugout with unnatural speed despite the fact that he does not seem to hurry in the least. The morning mists swallows him within a matter of moments and the dew where he had passed remains undisturbed in the pale morning light.
Reply
Leave a comment