Accidents
I don’t remember the last time I saw him so upset.
We sit here now eating dinner in silence.
The clock ticking and chopsticks scrapping the bottom of the bowl are the only sounds. It’s painful. I don’t know what to say.
Part of me doesn't understand why he is so upset but the other part of me understands completely.
“ I don’t know what to do, Kazu,” his voice sounded so dull and strained. “He’s so depressed. He doesn’t sleep. He tells me he can’t. He eats just enough to sustain himself, too scared of starving. He can barely even hold his guitar anymore…”
“How long has it been since it happened?”
“A month.” I just nod as he takes our bowls to the sink, rinses them and sits down again, this time beside me. He grabs my hand running his thumb over it before and kissing my temple.
“I thank god everyday that, that isn’t you right now.” I smile and squeeze his hand back. I thank god too, only after I pray for those that were not so lucky.
~~~
We went to visit them the following day. It was my first time despite Hiroki being here a handful already. The hospital was bustling with smiling patients, grumpy interns and preoccupied doctors. We took the elevator in silence. Still that awful kind. When we arrived at our floor we were ran into one of the most pleasant surprises.
Yamapi looked up at me with a smile. It was one of the worst smiles I have ever seen him make (and he got his teeth fixed recently). His cheeks were more hollow than Nakamaru had described ,his skin clung to his withering muscles like that was all that was all that was keeping him together and a red scar crossed above his temple exposed by a bald spot on his now shaven head. Despite this his eyes were bright and there was a healthy tanned glow to his skin.
Hiroki offered to accompany him down to the café. He agreed happily saying it would be only all by himself and that his arms were starting to hurt. Pushing yourself in a wheelchair for so long can do that to you, he said a little too happily.
~~
The café was the one near the gift shop. He looked so thrilled to be near so many people. I couldn’t blame him; cooped up in that room for so many hours a day could really be tiring. He didn’t speak much, it was still hard for him. He smiled a lot more than I expected him too. I’m glad he’s getting better and that I didn’t see him at his worst.
“He’s still…miserable.”Yamapi told us. “I went to… see him. He looks worse… than me!” his laugh came out more like a dry cough. I handed him his water bottle. He drank it.
“It’s nice to see you, Kame. Everyone has visited… it took… you too…long.” he smiled and poked my cheek.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
His smile faded and he sighed. “Jin… he doesn’t visit much… when he does… he sits… in the… waiting room.”
“I think he wants to apologize.” Hiroki popped in. Yamapi just bit his lip, hand squeezing tightly into a ball.
“I couldn’t… accept it… he ruined us… and everything…that is important… to us…” he chugged the rest of the water . “I don’t… see him… being very… understanding either.” Another dry laugh. It was sickening to hear. But if this was all he could manage now, then I want nothing more for him to get better. It didn’t matter anymore that he was the reason Jin left me. He still deserves to do what he loves. Maybe that’s why he’s so cheery.
“Can we go back now… I’m really tired.” We laughed and took him to his room. He fell asleep even before we left the room. Hiroki held my hand incredibly tight as we went to see them. Thinking about it now, I should have expected worse but after a glowing Yamapi I didn’t think his recovery would he so much different. But it was easier to bounce back from losing 20 pounds in a month than 35.
~~~
When we walked out onto the 5th floor I could hear yelling from down the hallway.
“You’re a homewrecking whore, you know that?”
I saw Hiroki flinch beside me. It was him. When a loud crash was hear in the same direction, Hiroki went running pulling me behind him.
The crash was deceiving. Ryo was just pushing this other person around. Nothing was broken. Not yet anyways. We Ryo wind up to punch the guy right in the face, but Hiroki held Ryo back, who was literally kicking and screaming.
“Just one! Let me land one punch on that disgusting face of his.”
“No!” Hiroki held Ryo back well, even though the smaller had more physical strength.
“He deserves it!”
“I don’t care. No!” Ryo just sighed and his body lay limp in Hiroki’s arms. Pulling away he fell back into one of the leather chairs. He really looked awful! The bags under his eyes unnaturally puffy, his hair standing in every which way (not due to extensive use of product) and wasn’t that his outfit from his new drama? How long has he been here?!
“Ryo-chan…Why aren’t you with him? Is he doing alright?”
“He’s sleeping.” That wasn’t Ryo’s voice. It was too smooth. Too familiar. I looked down at the ground where the other man lay on the floor and only started to pick himself up now. I felt my eyes grow wide and a long shiver run down my spine. I did my best not to stare. He’s changed so much in the last 6 months. He started to grow out his facial hair. If it weren’t for the hunch of his shoulder and the lackadaisical way he carried himself, I would have never known it was Jin.
“Has he there been any progress?” Hiroki broke the silence. Jin ran a hand through his hair and down his face as it exposed the most obscure expression. Guilt. Not once in the years that I have known Jin did I ever see him look so utterly torn with guilt like this.
I don’t believe this!
That son of a bitch broke my heart and didn’t show an inch of remorse but goes around being stupid, like always, and it’s like he was hit by a train with anguish.
I punched him.
Hard.
So hard, his lip spilt. But I couldn’t stop. The rage inside wouldn’t let me stop. It wanted to relieve itself, and did so, every time my knuckles hit his face.
I swear if Ryo and Uchi hadn’t pulled me off him I probably would have been kicked out of the hospital and caused myself to be a part of a huge scandal.
So I settled for yelling. “Why the hell does that bra get your sympathy and not me? Why?! I loved you Jin and you just got up and cheated! You didn’t even say you were sorry. At least if you didn’t mean it, you have the heart to try and give me closure!” It seethed through me; I could feel Hiroki’s hands slip from my waist.
Like Ryo said, Jin deserved every punch. Every single mark that was going to be visible on his pretty boy face in the time to come.
Every. Single. One.
“That brat you speak of almost died because of Bakanishi couldn’t keep his mouth shut!”I whipped my head around to see the newest member of our little party. I really wish I hadn’t turned around so fast.
I hardly even recognized him anymore. He had hollowed cheeks (much more so than Yamapi), a greyish tone to his skin with brown eyes bulging out of their socket and he was frail beyond all belief.
He was hideous! I could feel the bile rise in my throat. I swallowed it back down.
Didn’t want to be rude.
“I’m sorry we woke you!” Ryo frowned and got up to offer the hideous boy his seat. He took it with an even more disgusting smile.
“Thank you, Nishikido-kun,” What the … when did he go back to formalities?! “It’s hard not to be awake when Kamenashi-kun insists on being a nuance.” Ryo nodded as he moved the IV drip to the other side of the chair so he could sit on the arm rest. Ryo rubbed his lover’s back in slow circles. As soothing as it looked his lover tried to pull away.
“Did you eat today, Shige?” Ryo asked resting his hand on his lap instead. Shige stayed silent.
“Hospital food is terrible.”
“You have to eat something! You need to get better!”
“So what, you can have sex again, or so you can go back to work and forget this all happened! I’m sorry I’m an embarrassment to you! I’m sorry I’m not pretty enough! Why don’t you just go away?! You’ll be better off without me!” Ryo didn’t even flinch at the stinging words. Just stared at the fragile boy, bored and like he’s heard this a thousand times.
“Don’t be an asshole! I love you! I want you! I want you to get better for your sake as much as my own! So you and I can both go back to the lives we used to have. No more nonsense about not eating or sleeping . I have enough of that in my busy life; I don’t need more of it from you.” Shige made an undignified grunt and folded his ‘arms’.
“I’m sorry,” Ryo just smirked and kissed his temple. “I did eat though… the food that was in your bag.”
“That was my lunch you dork. Thanks!”
“I could always throw it up for you.” I was the only one to partially laugh at that. It made Shige smile and laugh too! Hiroki clicked his tongue in disapproval.
“Glad you could come by Kamenashi-kun. Have you seen Yamashita-kun yet?” He asked, his tone immediately becoming lighter as he held his head up with one very boney hand.
“We met up with him on the way here. He looks a lot better than you do though. Something about skin and bones just doesn’t suit you. I kinda miss pudgy Shige. You had this really cute round face I always wanted to poke.”
I saw someone shift out of the corner of my eye.
Then felt a hard smack on the back of my head.
“Kazu, shut up.”
It was Jin. He looked pissed off. I looked at Shige next; his eyes became wild with panic. They began to dart around to find the closest mirror. The glass table was enough. He was in a complete frenzy. He kept feeling his face, poking at the absence in his cheeks. Jin grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled my violently down the hall and out the back door.
“What the fuck were you thinking saying that to him?! You clearly have no idea how bad his condition is do you?” I flinched at the tone in his voice. Again I never was able to arouse such emotion in him before. The jealous rage started to sear through me again.
“Well, how can I know if no one told me what happened exactly?!” I shocked Jin for a moment as he light up his cigarette. I loved seeing these different expressions rip through his face.
“Uchi-kun never told you what I did?”
“No, why would he?”
Jin smirked as he pulled the cigarette away from his lips and blew the smoke into the air, “He’s a good guy, y’know . He loves you a hell of a lot too! Don’t let him go,” Why did it feel so strange to feel like I was getting his blessing? “So… this is what happened…”
~~~
The four of us were out drinking one night. Ryo, Shige, Pi and myself. Something felt wrong about Shige sitting there. He looked different than how I remembered from our last escapade. I just couldn’t place what.
Not too long after I started to pay attention to him like this, he went to the washroom. As he was leaving and I was watching his back did it click in.
Normally I wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass about it but I was drunk and I was bothering me. I just so happened to get to the washroom when he finished his business. As I was taking a leek it kinda just spewed out of my mouth.
“I think I figured out why you have so little fans Kato,” he just looked at me with those big brown eyes of his. “You’ve gained a lot of weight recently haven’t you?” His looked turned into one of pure horror.
“It’s too bad really; because no girl really likes a fat man even if he has a fucking amazing personality. Even Ryo-chan’s always been into the thin busty type. Hard to imagine him really being okay with his first boyfriend being a fatty?”
Maybe if I bothered to look at his face afterwards I would have said something to counter the drunken observation or maybe if I hadn’t left immediately afterwards I would have heard him dash into a stall and vomit.
But I didn’t. All I could think about was knocking back a few more beers and going home with Pi, spending the rest of the night fucking his brains out.
I only caught on to what was going on 3 months after our drinking night.
I was at the studio to pick up Pi and take him out to dinner. It was our 7 month anniversary. But when I wnet to go look in the studio he wasn’t there nor was he in the dressing room. Though his bags were so I know he hadn’t left the building yet. So I went to check the restroom. (I was kinda hoping it’d just be us in there when I found him, so I could get a quick blowjob before dinner).
When I went to open the door I hear someone crying so I stopped.
“I’m scared, that’s why! They wouldn’t understand. Especially Ryo. He’d think I’m being stupid and tell me to start eating properly again.”
“Shige, that’s not true! If you told Koyama and the others I’m sure they’d understand, especially Ryo-chan. He loves you very much. You have to give him a chance to show you.” It was Pi. I was standing even more still.
“No, if I stop I’ll get fat again and then I won’t be his type anymore. I need to be thin like his exes.
“Where did you get this idea?” Pi sounded most confused, but I could hear the rising tension in his voice as that one night in the bar came back to me as if it were yesterday.
“Akanishi-kun.”
After this Pi stopped talking to me. Him and I still were together but it was like those silent meals the two of us used to have. Except he barely ate a thing. Just mashed up his food and pretended to eat it. I was so scared he had developed the same habit as Shige. He claimed it was for the movie. I know that isn't the case.
~~~
“And you know the rest right? Why they’re here?” I nodded.
According to Taguchi, who was told by Ohkura who found out obviously from Ryo that Shige just so happened to be walking down some stairs with Yamapi beside him and he suddenly collapsed. Yamapi going to catch him cushioned his fall but ended up splitting his head open on one of the edges of the stairs.
I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at the monster that almost took the lives of my colleagues away. I just ran inside, up to the waiting room on the 5th floor.
Only Hiroki was there.
Waiting for me.
I suppose he heard me running because his head turned up to face me with a smile.
“What happened to them?” I asked.
Hiroki got up and slipped his hand into mine as he pulled me down the hallways back towards the elevators. “Back to Shige’s room. He tried to throw up his lunch after you left but Ryo managed to pin him down before he could. He can really be a ball of mush when he wants to be. They were a crying mess on the floor right by the table.” I gulped. Oops. “I think you did a good thing though. This is the first time I heard Shige actually say he wanted to get better. I think he really missed all his time with Ryo-chan.”
“Ryo was too afraid to use that poison tongue of his huh?” Hiroki just smirked and I squeezed his hand harder resting my head on his shoulder. The elevator took us to the main floor in a comfortable silence.
As we pass through the café on the main level I saw Massu, Nakamaru and Koyama sharing coffee with a lively Yamapi. We couldn’t help but smile and wave goodbye as we left.
~~~
“Hiroki.”
“un?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Jin?” He stood still, putting the knife down on the kitchen counter.
“Because it was his job to tell you not mine.”
“Hiroki…”
“Fine… I didn’t want you to think that I was only saying it for you to get over him already. I wanted you to get over him on your own or at the very least forget about him. I also didn’t want you to think I was selfish.”
I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his cheek.
“The exact opposite actually… thank you.”
“I love you.” He said placing a hand on mine.
“You have no idea how much I love you too.”
____
We sit here now eating dinner in silence.
The clock ticking and chopsticks scrapping the bottom of the bowl are the only sounds. It’s painful. I don’t know what to say.
Part of me doesn't understand why he is so upset but the other part of me understands completely.
“ I don’t know what to do, Kazu,” his voice sounded so dull and strained. “He’s so depressed. He doesn’t sleep. He tells me he can’t. He eats just enough to sustain himself, too scared of starving. He can barely even hold his guitar anymore…”
“How long has it been since it happened?”
“A month.” I just nod as he takes our bowls to the sink, rinses them and sits down again, this time beside me. He grabs my hand running his thumb over it before and kissing my temple.
“I thank god everyday that, that isn’t you right now.” I smile and squeeze his hand back. I thank god too, only after I pray for those that were not so lucky.
~~~
We went to visit them the following day. It was my first time despite Hiroki being here a handful already. The hospital was bustling with smiling patients, grumpy interns and preoccupied doctors. We took the elevator in silence. Still that awful kind. When we arrived at our floor we were ran into one of the most pleasant surprises.
Yamapi looked up at me with a smile. It was one of the worst smiles I have ever seen him make (and he got his teeth fixed recently). His cheeks were more hollow than Nakamaru had described ,his skin clung to his withering muscles like that was all that was all that was keeping him together and a red scar crossed above his temple exposed by a bald spot on his now shaven head. Despite this his eyes were bright and there was a healthy tanned glow to his skin.
Hiroki offered to accompany him down to the café. He agreed happily saying it would be only all by himself and that his arms were starting to hurt. Pushing yourself in a wheelchair for so long can do that to you, he said a little too happily.
~~
The café was the one near the gift shop. He looked so thrilled to be near so many people. I couldn’t blame him; cooped up in that room for so many hours a day could really be tiring. He didn’t speak much, it was still hard for him. He smiled a lot more than I expected him too. I’m glad he’s getting better and that I didn’t see him at his worst.
“He’s still…miserable.”Yamapi told us. “I went to… see him. He looks worse… than me!” his laugh came out more like a dry cough. I handed him his water bottle. He drank it.
“It’s nice to see you, Kame. Everyone has visited… it took… you too…long.” he smiled and poked my cheek.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”
His smile faded and he sighed. “Jin… he doesn’t visit much… when he does… he sits… in the… waiting room.”
“I think he wants to apologize.” Hiroki popped in. Yamapi just bit his lip, hand squeezing tightly into a ball.
“I couldn’t… accept it… he ruined us… and everything…that is important… to us…” he chugged the rest of the water . “I don’t… see him… being very… understanding either.” Another dry laugh. It was sickening to hear. But if this was all he could manage now, then I want nothing more for him to get better. It didn’t matter anymore that he was the reason Jin left me. He still deserves to do what he loves. Maybe that’s why he’s so cheery.
“Can we go back now… I’m really tired.” We laughed and took him to his room. He fell asleep even before we left the room. Hiroki held my hand incredibly tight as we went to see them. Thinking about it now, I should have expected worse but after a glowing Yamapi I didn’t think his recovery would he so much different. But it was easier to bounce back from losing 20 pounds in a month than 35.
~~~
When we walked out onto the 5th floor I could hear yelling from down the hallway.
“You’re a homewrecking whore, you know that?”
I saw Hiroki flinch beside me. It was him. When a loud crash was hear in the same direction, Hiroki went running pulling me behind him.
The crash was deceiving. Ryo was just pushing this other person around. Nothing was broken. Not yet anyways. We Ryo wind up to punch the guy right in the face, but Hiroki held Ryo back, who was literally kicking and screaming.
“Just one! Let me land one punch on that disgusting face of his.”
“No!” Hiroki held Ryo back well, even though the smaller had more physical strength.
“He deserves it!”
“I don’t care. No!” Ryo just sighed and his body lay limp in Hiroki’s arms. Pulling away he fell back into one of the leather chairs. He really looked awful! The bags under his eyes unnaturally puffy, his hair standing in every which way (not due to extensive use of product) and wasn’t that his outfit from his new drama? How long has he been here?!
“Ryo-chan…Why aren’t you with him? Is he doing alright?”
“He’s sleeping.” That wasn’t Ryo’s voice. It was too smooth. Too familiar. I looked down at the ground where the other man lay on the floor and only started to pick himself up now. I felt my eyes grow wide and a long shiver run down my spine. I did my best not to stare. He’s changed so much in the last 6 months. He started to grow out his facial hair. If it weren’t for the hunch of his shoulder and the lackadaisical way he carried himself, I would have never known it was Jin.
“Has he there been any progress?” Hiroki broke the silence. Jin ran a hand through his hair and down his face as it exposed the most obscure expression. Guilt. Not once in the years that I have known Jin did I ever see him look so utterly torn with guilt like this.
I don’t believe this!
That son of a bitch broke my heart and didn’t show an inch of remorse but goes around being stupid, like always, and it’s like he was hit by a train with anguish.
I punched him.
Hard.
So hard, his lip spilt. But I couldn’t stop. The rage inside wouldn’t let me stop. It wanted to relieve itself, and did so, every time my knuckles hit his face.
I swear if Ryo and Uchi hadn’t pulled me off him I probably would have been kicked out of the hospital and caused myself to be a part of a huge scandal.
So I settled for yelling. “Why the hell does that bra get your sympathy and not me? Why?! I loved you Jin and you just got up and cheated! You didn’t even say you were sorry. At least if you didn’t mean it, you have the heart to try and give me closure!” It seethed through me; I could feel Hiroki’s hands slip from my waist.
Like Ryo said, Jin deserved every punch. Every single mark that was going to be visible on his pretty boy face in the time to come.
Every. Single. One.
“That brat you speak of almost died because of Bakanishi couldn’t keep his mouth shut!”I whipped my head around to see the newest member of our little party. I really wish I hadn’t turned around so fast.
I hardly even recognized him anymore. He had hollowed cheeks (much more so than Yamapi), a greyish tone to his skin with brown eyes bulging out of their socket and he was frail beyond all belief.
He was hideous! I could feel the bile rise in my throat. I swallowed it back down.
Didn’t want to be rude.
“I’m sorry we woke you!” Ryo frowned and got up to offer the hideous boy his seat. He took it with an even more disgusting smile.
“Thank you, Nishikido-kun,” What the … when did he go back to formalities?! “It’s hard not to be awake when Kamenashi-kun insists on being a nuance.” Ryo nodded as he moved the IV drip to the other side of the chair so he could sit on the arm rest. Ryo rubbed his lover’s back in slow circles. As soothing as it looked his lover tried to pull away.
“Did you eat today, Shige?” Ryo asked resting his hand on his lap instead. Shige stayed silent.
“Hospital food is terrible.”
“You have to eat something! You need to get better!”
“So what, you can have sex again, or so you can go back to work and forget this all happened! I’m sorry I’m an embarrassment to you! I’m sorry I’m not pretty enough! Why don’t you just go away?! You’ll be better off without me!” Ryo didn’t even flinch at the stinging words. Just stared at the fragile boy, bored and like he’s heard this a thousand times.
“Don’t be an asshole! I love you! I want you! I want you to get better for your sake as much as my own! So you and I can both go back to the lives we used to have. No more nonsense about not eating or sleeping . I have enough of that in my busy life; I don’t need more of it from you.” Shige made an undignified grunt and folded his ‘arms’.
“I’m sorry,” Ryo just smirked and kissed his temple. “I did eat though… the food that was in your bag.”
“That was my lunch you dork. Thanks!”
“I could always throw it up for you.” I was the only one to partially laugh at that. It made Shige smile and laugh too! Hiroki clicked his tongue in disapproval.
“Glad you could come by Kamenashi-kun. Have you seen Yamashita-kun yet?” He asked, his tone immediately becoming lighter as he held his head up with one very boney hand.
“We met up with him on the way here. He looks a lot better than you do though. Something about skin and bones just doesn’t suit you. I kinda miss pudgy Shige. You had this really cute round face I always wanted to poke.”
I saw someone shift out of the corner of my eye.
Then felt a hard smack on the back of my head.
“Kazu, shut up.”
It was Jin. He looked pissed off. I looked at Shige next; his eyes became wild with panic. They began to dart around to find the closest mirror. The glass table was enough. He was in a complete frenzy. He kept feeling his face, poking at the absence in his cheeks. Jin grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled my violently down the hall and out the back door.
“What the fuck were you thinking saying that to him?! You clearly have no idea how bad his condition is do you?” I flinched at the tone in his voice. Again I never was able to arouse such emotion in him before. The jealous rage started to sear through me again.
“Well, how can I know if no one told me what happened exactly?!” I shocked Jin for a moment as he light up his cigarette. I loved seeing these different expressions rip through his face.
“Uchi-kun never told you what I did?”
“No, why would he?”
Jin smirked as he pulled the cigarette away from his lips and blew the smoke into the air, “He’s a good guy, y’know . He loves you a hell of a lot too! Don’t let him go,” Why did it feel so strange to feel like I was getting his blessing? “So… this is what happened…”
~~~
The four of us were out drinking one night. Ryo, Shige, Pi and myself. Something felt wrong about Shige sitting there. He looked different than how I remembered from our last escapade. I just couldn’t place what.
Not too long after I started to pay attention to him like this, he went to the washroom. As he was leaving and I was watching his back did it click in.
Normally I wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass about it but I was drunk and I was bothering me. I just so happened to get to the washroom when he finished his business. As I was taking a leek it kinda just spewed out of my mouth.
“I think I figured out why you have so little fans Kato,” he just looked at me with those big brown eyes of his. “You’ve gained a lot of weight recently haven’t you?” His looked turned into one of pure horror.
“It’s too bad really; because no girl really likes a fat man even if he has a fucking amazing personality. Even Ryo-chan’s always been into the thin busty type. Hard to imagine him really being okay with his first boyfriend being a fatty?”
Maybe if I bothered to look at his face afterwards I would have said something to counter the drunken observation or maybe if I hadn’t left immediately afterwards I would have heard him dash into a stall and vomit.
But I didn’t. All I could think about was knocking back a few more beers and going home with Pi, spending the rest of the night fucking his brains out.
I only caught on to what was going on 3 months after our drinking night.
I was at the studio to pick up Pi and take him out to dinner. It was our 7 month anniversary. But when I wnet to go look in the studio he wasn’t there nor was he in the dressing room. Though his bags were so I know he hadn’t left the building yet. So I went to check the restroom. (I was kinda hoping it’d just be us in there when I found him, so I could get a quick blowjob before dinner).
When I went to open the door I hear someone crying so I stopped.
“I’m scared, that’s why! They wouldn’t understand. Especially Ryo. He’d think I’m being stupid and tell me to start eating properly again.”
“Shige, that’s not true! If you told Koyama and the others I’m sure they’d understand, especially Ryo-chan. He loves you very much. You have to give him a chance to show you.” It was Pi. I was standing even more still.
“No, if I stop I’ll get fat again and then I won’t be his type anymore. I need to be thin like his exes.
“Where did you get this idea?” Pi sounded most confused, but I could hear the rising tension in his voice as that one night in the bar came back to me as if it were yesterday.
“Akanishi-kun.”
After this Pi stopped talking to me. Him and I still were together but it was like those silent meals the two of us used to have. Except he barely ate a thing. Just mashed up his food and pretended to eat it. I was so scared he had developed the same habit as Shige. He claimed it was for the movie. I know that isn't the case.
~~~
“And you know the rest right? Why they’re here?” I nodded.
According to Taguchi, who was told by Ohkura who found out obviously from Ryo that Shige just so happened to be walking down some stairs with Yamapi beside him and he suddenly collapsed. Yamapi going to catch him cushioned his fall but ended up splitting his head open on one of the edges of the stairs.
I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at the monster that almost took the lives of my colleagues away. I just ran inside, up to the waiting room on the 5th floor.
Only Hiroki was there.
Waiting for me.
I suppose he heard me running because his head turned up to face me with a smile.
“What happened to them?” I asked.
Hiroki got up and slipped his hand into mine as he pulled me down the hallways back towards the elevators. “Back to Shige’s room. He tried to throw up his lunch after you left but Ryo managed to pin him down before he could. He can really be a ball of mush when he wants to be. They were a crying mess on the floor right by the table.” I gulped. Oops. “I think you did a good thing though. This is the first time I heard Shige actually say he wanted to get better. I think he really missed all his time with Ryo-chan.”
“Ryo was too afraid to use that poison tongue of his huh?” Hiroki just smirked and I squeezed his hand harder resting my head on his shoulder. The elevator took us to the main floor in a comfortable silence.
As we pass through the café on the main level I saw Massu, Nakamaru and Koyama sharing coffee with a lively Yamapi. We couldn’t help but smile and wave goodbye as we left.
~~~
“Hiroki.”
“un?”
“Why didn’t you tell me about Jin?” He stood still, putting the knife down on the kitchen counter.
“Because it was his job to tell you not mine.”
“Hiroki…”
“Fine… I didn’t want you to think that I was only saying it for you to get over him already. I wanted you to get over him on your own or at the very least forget about him. I also didn’t want you to think I was selfish.”
I walked up behind him, wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his cheek.
“The exact opposite actually… thank you.”
“I love you.” He said placing a hand on mine.
“You have no idea how much I love you too.”
____