Grrr
Today started well, but I just... I'm not... I don't know.
Wrote a lot, but I'm not happy with any of what I did write, now that I've come home and re-read it. It's bland, bland, bland. Something just isn't clicking. And I think the characterization is off. But it's hard to tell.
Mum kept bugging me about what I was doing when she saw me typing stuff up at the kitchen table. Ugh, stop it. Screw off, why don't you. She knows it bothers me when she bugs me about my writing, but she always asks anyway, and then gets all pissy when I'm evasive. I don't care that you're just "making conversation"; it's not conversation that I want to have, and you know it, and you're just talking to hear yourself talk, as usual. Go away.
Yes, it's childish. But I'm annoyed, and I don't care. At least I know to keep my thoughts to myself.
One good thing that happened today: I was talking with Sea, who wants to write SSSS stuff. Seems a few ideas are brewing already. Anyway, a proofreader is in order, and of course I volunteered. Haven't read much of their writing aside from maybe one or two snippets, but I'm sure whatever they come up with will be great.
... Anyway. Will work more tonight on what I was writing, I guess. It's probably salvageable. And even if not, there's nothing lost from throwing it on my archive. It's my scrapbook, after all.
Today just didn't go the way I had hoped. It didn't go horribly, but - well, I don't know. But that's okay, I guess.
Evening = better. Relaxed a little, did some yoga, futzed with tarot, listened to some music... It's not so bad. I feel a bit better. Going to have a hot shower soon. Nice.
I feel an undercurrent of low-level nervousness. It bothers me, but it's not too bad. It's just my brain being stupid for some reason. Happens sometimes; it's just something I need to deal with. So, I'll deal with it. Feeling crappy for no reason is nothing new.
Still feeling a little down about the writing, but - well. I'll just work on the draft, get it typed up and revised a bit, and then I think I'll sit on it. For like, a month, or something. And then revisit it. Seems like the best course of action. Maybe I'm just sick of looking at it.
Some of those prompts that I posted today look really promising, so maybe I should write some SSSS or aRTD stuff with them. We'll have to see. I also saw a post on the SSSS kinkk meme that I want to try. I'm not sure how it'll go - I don't know how to write any of these characters yet - but I can't figure out how to write them if I don't... write them. And like above, I can draft it up and then sit on it for a while before doing a final revision and submitting. Nothing wrong with that.
I feel a little better now, like I said. But still. Ugh. Urgh. BLARGH. Insert t-rex noises here.
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