Chronicled Time: Yuu-chan

[yuu_chan_kanda]

"I expect your payment soon. That includes chronicling the events of this world as well." Yuuko's paper butterfly told her in a ghostly voice, the paper fluttering toward her.

Comments

[cuteandschemy]

[Well, things did indeed just get interesting. Zexion's intention is to settle into a comfortable position with his back against the wall and his arms folded over his chest and just watch. He can pick up the scent of blood on one. Strong. The other has a damp scent. Watery. Wet. To top it off, there's darkness. Strong, but not as strong as what he picks up from the Heartless. Or the Nobodies. Certainly nowhere as strong as the Superior. But then, no one wears the darkness like the Superior does. It tells him, without a doubt though, that they are neither Heartless nor Nobodies. And as such, if the need arises, he can escape into the corridors without concern that they may follow. Even so, he mentally prepares to summon his Lexicon if he needs it.]

[yuu_chan_kanda]

[Red-eyes swivles at his arrival, his eyes lighting up in a predatory, almost lustful look. His bloodlust is pallipale in the air. He stares at Zexion for a moment. His companion, however, isn't interested. He glances at his companion, though it almost looks like his eyes slide so far sideways they go back into his head. He heaves a sigh and falls in line next to his companion

[cuteandschemy]

[Zexion does nothing in return. Merely watches the scene unfold before him in silence. He doesn't appear in the least uncomfortable or phased by their arrival. Or by Red-eye's staring. He stares right back. His gaze unwaivering. Get a good look, Red-eyes. Look into that one visible blue eye, the one not hidden behind a thick sheet of hair. Cold. Empty. It takes a a keen eye to see it. How dead his eyes are. But maybe something like you can see it. And if either of them can tell in any way, there's darkness in him as well. Just as cold and empty as his eyes. He hides it so well from humans. Like an actor on a stage, he can change his expressions, his tone of voice, his body movements--play the part of a normal teenage boy. But maybe, because their not human, they can tell.]

[yuu_chan_kanda]

[They can tell. Red-eyes is curious, wanting to "play" with this new "toy" but Mr. Damp is focused on the situation at hand. Probably for the best. Red-eyes tends to play rough, not considering play until blood is drawn. He also thinks it's perfectl acceptable to "break" his "toys" since they're replaceable. After all, they're only humans. This one is human but not human. Red-eyes can't help glancing back at him, wanting to "play" but he stays in place. One glance at Mr. Damp proves why. Mr. Damp glances at Red-eyes, who's beginning to fidget. Red-eyes had just decided to "play" with Blue when Mr. Damp glanced at him

[usagilovebooks]

Some gramm'r mistakes, darlin'. Otherwise a good story. Wha' happens next?

"Beneath the picture was a caption, the elgant handwritten calligraphy in an ancient language only she could read." Should be elegant.

"The ord, resting on a redestal of a metallic dragon...." Should be pedestal.

"The taller on has short, cropped dark hair and unnaturally pale skin." Should be one.

"....the tips slightly softened to a rounded point the folds down slightly." Should be that.

Can' wait 'til tha next un'. :)

[yuu_chan_kanda]

Thanks~! :)

I fixed the mistakes you listed, along with a couple others I found. If you find anymore grammar mistakes, please tell me. :)