(Fanfic) Mine
Title: Regrets and Ownership
Author: (Hikari) yutorinislove
Pairing: Shintaro Morimoto x OC
A/N: This story was one requested by my clanmate Miyuki-nee. <3 I said I’ll post it, and here it is! Comments are well-appreciated. And… I never got over my “friend-zone” theme in fanfics. Most of my fanfics contain the “friend-zone” theme. XDD Please forgive me for grammar mistakes, and if it’s a bit confusing. It confused me when I was writing this, too. Comments are loved and well appreciated!
((Oh, and “Nanami” is based on Hinata Nanami, a real-life Japanese actress who’s formerly known as Yamauchi Nana.))
--//--//--
What did it feel like to fall completely, honestly and totally in love with your best friend?
That was what I was feeling. For three straight years now. You, Morimoto Shintaro has been there for, like, my whole life. I have known you since I was six, and has been harbouring this, well, little big crush on you for three years, maybe even more without all the hormones swilling about, but you get the picture.
I fell in love with everything that was you. I fell in love with your smile, your eyes, your sexy mouth twitch habit that happens every time you reason out with me. (I admit to the offence of arguing with you every single time just to see that mouth habit) I fell in love with your good moods and your bad moods. I fell in love with your everything.
I fell in love with you, hoping that maybe, with your special smiles directed my way, the tender gazes you send me whenever we talk, you feel the same way, too. It’s a common mistake that all females make whenever there is a guy who treats her like she’s some special treasure whenever he’s with her. I fell in love with you and hoped that you felt the same way because we’ve known each other for ages. You knew everything about me and I knew everything about you. Isn’t that how the movies tell it? Perfect boy and his girl best friend get together in the end?
Maybe I was just waiting for the moment that one day, you’ll look into my eyes and tell me, I’m in love with you, Nanami. Always have. Direct and straight-to-the-point, because that was how Shintaro was. That was how you were.
I guess I was wrong.
No, I don’t guess. I was wrong.
--//--//--
“Nana-chan~”
I look up and smile that smile that has been reserved for Shintaro and Shintaro alone. “Shin-chan!” I say in response as he slings his arm around my shoulders and we continue down the hall and through the school doors, towards the bike racks. It was such a vulgar show of closeness, but that was just this Nana and Shintaro thing, and nobody really seems to mind.
“I’m guessing you’re excited for the milkshake party later?” I say when we get there. He easily pulls his arm from where it rests on my shoulders as he unchains his bike from the rack. I bend down to unchain mine.
“Me? Oh. Mm-hmm.” He mumbles rather than says.
“Is anything wrong? You don’t seem really chatty today,” I notice as I hop on my bicycle. He does the same and we pedal out of school. But always side-by-side. It was a Nanami and Shintaro thing - it wasn’t conventional but it suits us both fine.
Shintaro shrugs, and I marvel silently at how his profile looks in the moonlight. He is so beautiful, and nobody seems to know. Or so I am convincing myself.
“You know, you could always tell me, we’re best friends, after all,” I say, trying to keep it light because yes, we are best friends, but I want to be something more than that. Something so much more.
He grins at me, and I melt. “I knew you’d say that, Nanami-chan,” he says over the roaring wind in my ears. “I knew you’d say that.”
--//--//--
Looking back, I thought of why I never knew. You barely had time for me anymore back then, you weren’t the same. Or maybe I did notice, only that I was too in denial to acknowledge that something was wrong. That was how deceptive women are to themselves. They try to convince themselves that everything is all right and solvable.
Which, in my case, in our case, is not.
Looking back, I wonder why I never noticed that you weren’t giving me those tender gazes everytime we’re together. Why you don’t smile so much with me. Why you never laugh that much with me anymore. Why you always say you’re busy, though I knew you really had nothing to do.
Looking back, I wonder why I never knew in advance that there was going to be a Haruka to enter the picture. I should have known that every story needs one.
--//--//--
“Nanami, is it true that Shintaro has a girlfriend?” Someone asks from beside me, wide-eyed. I look up from my math workbook and laugh. Of course there wasn’t, I answer her. I would know if there was. I mean, Shintaro and I are close - he’d tell me if ever there is one. Or maybe I am denying the possibility, but who cares?
“But I saw him yesterday at the park with Haruka-san from 2-B,” my classmate says, eyes still wide. I feel my grin falter on my face. Was it possible? Was it true? I fight to keep the smile as my classmate ploughs through. “They were blowing bubbles together and laughing. I’ve never seen him so happy!”
Bubbles? Shintaro never liked bubbles.
I know he didn't. Never had and never will. But that moment, I doubt myself. Do I really now that about him?
I keep my smile on as I excuse myself, and force my legs to take me towards the rooftop, where I am sure I’ll find him. Why? Because it is his special place, I know that of him.
I meet Haruka-san on the way up, and whatever that was left of my confidence that Shintaro doesn’t fancy anyone (because I am hoping that if ever he did, it would be me) has crumbled. Still, I strengthen my resolve, and I force myself to go up the remaining few steps onto the rooftop.
And there I see him, grinning so widely it threatened to split his face in two. He is so happy he shines so bright that it almost is too unbearable to look.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” he says back, grin unfaltering. “What’s up?”
“Um…” Go on, Nanami, say it! “Um, I saw Haruka-san from 2-B coming down a while ago.”
“Ah, yes,” he says, and I refuse to look at him, dreading at what I will see. But no, I can’t fight the temptation and I look at him, and see that his cheeks have tinged pink. I swallow slightly as I try to smile.
“Mika-chan says that she’s seen you and Haruka-san on a date yesterday,” I say in a jesting manner. But inside, I am hoping that he’d say that it was a lie. “Is it true?”
The deepening of his blush is answer enough, but I just had to hurt myself further. I say lightly, “Do you like her?”
And what is left of the crumbled remains of the heart that is beating for Shintaro - a heart he would never know beat for him and him alone for
three years - is blown by a force that could have been induced by the slight, almost imperceptible nod he makes, and the soft but firm sound
that follows. “Yes.”
--//--//--
I thought I knew you, Shintaro. I thought I knew you from the top of your head to the tips of your soul, but I was wrong. Every day after you told me that you liked Haruka, I tried to become the same best friend that I have been even before you said you liked her. And maybe I did a job well done because you never knew I was hurting.
Everytime I see you I want to hold your hand, or have your arm over my shoulder again as we bike home together, but that wasn’t going to happen anymore because you like somebody else, and it was obvious that she likes you, too, and you were too much of a man to make a girl like prefect, perfect Haruka jealous over your best friend.
Maybe I was hoping for far too much. Maybe I never realized that I never really knew you. That you weren’t even my Morimoto Shintaro to begin with. That there was always a part of you - which is the important part of you, the part of you that I was trying so hard to have and be deserving for - that I am never going to have. There would be a part of you that a long history like ours won’t ever be able to affect. And that part would be that part that I would have loved to have, but you won’t be able to give me, because you have already given it to someone else.
It hurts, Shintaro. But I have to put up with it, because it is your decision to make. And no one should take that right away from you.
Right now, all I have to do is supress the feelings boiling deep under my skin. Right now, I have to keep myself from tackling you and kissing you senseless and blurting out to you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. Because that isn’t appropriate and you won’t appreciate it. Because you don’t love me the way you do Haruka, or the way I do you. And most especially because I don’t own you. I never have. And I might never will.
----
I have disappeared from writing fanfics for a while. But that is because I have undergone a process to enter a sorority. <3 And guess what? I'm in! I'm so proud~
Please do let me know about your thoughts on this one. I never seem to get out of my friend-zone mood. >o< Kill me. Yes. Please do kill me. XDD
Author: (Hikari) yutorinislove
Pairing: Shintaro Morimoto x OC
A/N: This story was one requested by my clanmate Miyuki-nee. <3 I said I’ll post it, and here it is! Comments are well-appreciated. And… I never got over my “friend-zone” theme in fanfics. Most of my fanfics contain the “friend-zone” theme. XDD Please forgive me for grammar mistakes, and if it’s a bit confusing. It confused me when I was writing this, too. Comments are loved and well appreciated!
((Oh, and “Nanami” is based on Hinata Nanami, a real-life Japanese actress who’s formerly known as Yamauchi Nana.))
--//--//--
What did it feel like to fall completely, honestly and totally in love with your best friend?
That was what I was feeling. For three straight years now. You, Morimoto Shintaro has been there for, like, my whole life. I have known you since I was six, and has been harbouring this, well, little big crush on you for three years, maybe even more without all the hormones swilling about, but you get the picture.
I fell in love with everything that was you. I fell in love with your smile, your eyes, your sexy mouth twitch habit that happens every time you reason out with me. (I admit to the offence of arguing with you every single time just to see that mouth habit) I fell in love with your good moods and your bad moods. I fell in love with your everything.
I fell in love with you, hoping that maybe, with your special smiles directed my way, the tender gazes you send me whenever we talk, you feel the same way, too. It’s a common mistake that all females make whenever there is a guy who treats her like she’s some special treasure whenever he’s with her. I fell in love with you and hoped that you felt the same way because we’ve known each other for ages. You knew everything about me and I knew everything about you. Isn’t that how the movies tell it? Perfect boy and his girl best friend get together in the end?
Maybe I was just waiting for the moment that one day, you’ll look into my eyes and tell me, I’m in love with you, Nanami. Always have. Direct and straight-to-the-point, because that was how Shintaro was. That was how you were.
I guess I was wrong.
No, I don’t guess. I was wrong.
--//--//--
“Nana-chan~”
I look up and smile that smile that has been reserved for Shintaro and Shintaro alone. “Shin-chan!” I say in response as he slings his arm around my shoulders and we continue down the hall and through the school doors, towards the bike racks. It was such a vulgar show of closeness, but that was just this Nana and Shintaro thing, and nobody really seems to mind.
“I’m guessing you’re excited for the milkshake party later?” I say when we get there. He easily pulls his arm from where it rests on my shoulders as he unchains his bike from the rack. I bend down to unchain mine.
“Me? Oh. Mm-hmm.” He mumbles rather than says.
“Is anything wrong? You don’t seem really chatty today,” I notice as I hop on my bicycle. He does the same and we pedal out of school. But always side-by-side. It was a Nanami and Shintaro thing - it wasn’t conventional but it suits us both fine.
Shintaro shrugs, and I marvel silently at how his profile looks in the moonlight. He is so beautiful, and nobody seems to know. Or so I am convincing myself.
“You know, you could always tell me, we’re best friends, after all,” I say, trying to keep it light because yes, we are best friends, but I want to be something more than that. Something so much more.
He grins at me, and I melt. “I knew you’d say that, Nanami-chan,” he says over the roaring wind in my ears. “I knew you’d say that.”
--//--//--
Looking back, I thought of why I never knew. You barely had time for me anymore back then, you weren’t the same. Or maybe I did notice, only that I was too in denial to acknowledge that something was wrong. That was how deceptive women are to themselves. They try to convince themselves that everything is all right and solvable.
Which, in my case, in our case, is not.
Looking back, I wonder why I never noticed that you weren’t giving me those tender gazes everytime we’re together. Why you don’t smile so much with me. Why you never laugh that much with me anymore. Why you always say you’re busy, though I knew you really had nothing to do.
Looking back, I wonder why I never knew in advance that there was going to be a Haruka to enter the picture. I should have known that every story needs one.
--//--//--
“Nanami, is it true that Shintaro has a girlfriend?” Someone asks from beside me, wide-eyed. I look up from my math workbook and laugh. Of course there wasn’t, I answer her. I would know if there was. I mean, Shintaro and I are close - he’d tell me if ever there is one. Or maybe I am denying the possibility, but who cares?
“But I saw him yesterday at the park with Haruka-san from 2-B,” my classmate says, eyes still wide. I feel my grin falter on my face. Was it possible? Was it true? I fight to keep the smile as my classmate ploughs through. “They were blowing bubbles together and laughing. I’ve never seen him so happy!”
Bubbles? Shintaro never liked bubbles.
I know he didn't. Never had and never will. But that moment, I doubt myself. Do I really now that about him?
I keep my smile on as I excuse myself, and force my legs to take me towards the rooftop, where I am sure I’ll find him. Why? Because it is his special place, I know that of him.
I meet Haruka-san on the way up, and whatever that was left of my confidence that Shintaro doesn’t fancy anyone (because I am hoping that if ever he did, it would be me) has crumbled. Still, I strengthen my resolve, and I force myself to go up the remaining few steps onto the rooftop.
And there I see him, grinning so widely it threatened to split his face in two. He is so happy he shines so bright that it almost is too unbearable to look.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” he says back, grin unfaltering. “What’s up?”
“Um…” Go on, Nanami, say it! “Um, I saw Haruka-san from 2-B coming down a while ago.”
“Ah, yes,” he says, and I refuse to look at him, dreading at what I will see. But no, I can’t fight the temptation and I look at him, and see that his cheeks have tinged pink. I swallow slightly as I try to smile.
“Mika-chan says that she’s seen you and Haruka-san on a date yesterday,” I say in a jesting manner. But inside, I am hoping that he’d say that it was a lie. “Is it true?”
The deepening of his blush is answer enough, but I just had to hurt myself further. I say lightly, “Do you like her?”
And what is left of the crumbled remains of the heart that is beating for Shintaro - a heart he would never know beat for him and him alone for
three years - is blown by a force that could have been induced by the slight, almost imperceptible nod he makes, and the soft but firm sound
that follows. “Yes.”
--//--//--
I thought I knew you, Shintaro. I thought I knew you from the top of your head to the tips of your soul, but I was wrong. Every day after you told me that you liked Haruka, I tried to become the same best friend that I have been even before you said you liked her. And maybe I did a job well done because you never knew I was hurting.
Everytime I see you I want to hold your hand, or have your arm over my shoulder again as we bike home together, but that wasn’t going to happen anymore because you like somebody else, and it was obvious that she likes you, too, and you were too much of a man to make a girl like prefect, perfect Haruka jealous over your best friend.
Maybe I was hoping for far too much. Maybe I never realized that I never really knew you. That you weren’t even my Morimoto Shintaro to begin with. That there was always a part of you - which is the important part of you, the part of you that I was trying so hard to have and be deserving for - that I am never going to have. There would be a part of you that a long history like ours won’t ever be able to affect. And that part would be that part that I would have loved to have, but you won’t be able to give me, because you have already given it to someone else.
It hurts, Shintaro. But I have to put up with it, because it is your decision to make. And no one should take that right away from you.
Right now, all I have to do is supress the feelings boiling deep under my skin. Right now, I have to keep myself from tackling you and kissing you senseless and blurting out to you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. Because that isn’t appropriate and you won’t appreciate it. Because you don’t love me the way you do Haruka, or the way I do you. And most especially because I don’t own you. I never have. And I might never will.
----
I have disappeared from writing fanfics for a while. But that is because I have undergone a process to enter a sorority. <3 And guess what? I'm in! I'm so proud~
Please do let me know about your thoughts on this one. I never seem to get out of my friend-zone mood. >o< Kill me. Yes. Please do kill me. XDD