-I'm here in case you never notice- [Kazuki/Manabu]
Title: ' I'm here in case you never notice '
Author: yurinie
Chapter: 1/1
Genre: Romance, drama, slight angst
Pairing: Kazuki/Manabu, Byou/Kazuki implied
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I have them locked in closet /is rambling. I only own my imagination, nothing else
Synopsis: mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:
EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">All of a sudden, the whole world stopped, like smoke coiling around the window sills, silently faded away into the vanishing night; ain’t nothing else but those two, wandering, catching, slipping.
Wind rushed in, twirled and twisted in its rage, like numerous butterflies bursted into the room at once, their worn-out and bruised wings shed on the floor, rolling shamefully into the darkness.
Came the knock,
the staccato thud of feet running-almost tripped over twice-echoed in the hall, the door clicked open,
one person being trapped, yet again, in his own tragic game.
Manabu grabbed the other guitarist by the collar, pulling him close, so close that it left him breathless. All of a sudden, the whole world stopped, like smoke coiling around the window sills, silently faded away into the vanishing night; ain’t nothing else but those two, wandering, catching, slipping. Their lips hovered just a tiny bit against each other, almost touching, touching, touching…
I’m sick of this
Manabu trailed his nose along the Kazuki’d neck, inhaled the strong scent of a certain someone’s cologne, making sure it filled every corner and pocket of his lung, eating up every broken pieces of his heart, swallowing down every struggled sob that were fighting way out of his throat, meanwhile letting every words sunk deep into Kazuki’s skin…
“Where were you?”
A smirk crept up his face. Manabu knew as he reached up, thumbs sliding across Kazuki’s cheek, brushing down to the corner of that perfectly-shaped mouth, feeling it curl up under his touch, forming a teasing grin…
“Can’t you tell?”
“Kazuki, I don’t really appreciate you going to me after having a good fuck with another guy in the same day, or maybe same night. Too greedy. We need a definite schedule” Manabu replied mockingly, tounge flicked out, gliding slightly over his earlobe, making the lead guitarist hissed harshly under his breath…
“Are we having problems with that now? You never complained.”
“I don’t”
And I wish I could. Was what Manabu wanted to say, but he didn’t. Silence stretched between them, before Kazuki turned over and pushed the younger downward, the mattress dipped lightly at the change of weight. Kazuki leaned down and crashed his lips against the petite’s. Rough. Sloppy. Hard. Manabu gasped, eyes opened widely in shock…
Because they never kissed
All they ever did was fuck then leave before the sun rises, was waking up alone as the other already left. All they ever shared was body rubbing sweatily against body, moans and the smell of sex, pleasure, lust. Or was there more?...
But no matter how intense their little stolen moments were, no matter how they both wanted each other so bad, they never kissed…That is something far too chaste and intimate, something only lovers do, something he hates…he hates because that certain someone has it with Kazuki instead of him.
That was why when Kazuki pulled away, Manabu stared at him with the look of all questions in the world, his eyes fluttered close for a moment before opening again…
“What was that about?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what was that kiss about?”
“Nothing”
“You can’t go around and kiss anyone for no fuck’s sake, you know that”
“I just feel like kissing you. But does that matter after all we did?”
“Yes it does, Kazu-kun. Because you-…”
You love him, not me. Those words somehow stucked deadly at Manabu’s throat. Instead he torn his eyes away from Kazuki’s fallen gaze, looking out of the windows, where the stars scattered -- lingered, lit the dim sky up, left each tiny fragments falling softly onto the ledge,
or was it snowing?
Was it snowing, just like the first night Kazuki came to him, muttering drunkenly incoherent words into his ears, telling, almost begging Manabu to take, take, take, just take him, giving themselves away, dipping in celestial stardust, drowning in the morass of lies, of hopeless desire-or maybe- of an unreachable love…
And Manabu asked the same questions he had asked Kazuki that night- the same one he had always asked whenever the other guitarist showed up at his door in the midst of night, letting those oh-so-familiar words flowing sarcastically out of his pretty lips:
“Got a fight with him or something?”
“Byou kicked me out. We pissed each other off” was Kazuki’s nonchalant answer, gaze traveled downward, refused to meet the honey orbs
Urr, he was right, but again, he was wrong, so wrong…
Right because he was fully aware that he was just nothing more than a puppet, a substitute Kazuki only comes finding when things fucked up with his lover; the kiss wasn’t adding anything to that
Wrong because he was such a masochistic, asking that stupid questions though already knew the answer by heart, knew how it would hurt and break his pieces into thousands more if possible (but isn’t Kazuki so sadistic too? Aren’t they matched so well, so well…)
Wrong to ever let him in and lead him on in the first place; wrong to even grasp so desprately at one splintered hope, as though clinging onto a withering season, pleading it to please-please-please-stay-with-me
He was wrong more than he was right. Because maybe, just maybe…
Maybe one day Kazuki might stop being so blind, look-at-him, look-at-him
and finally realize he was the one all along
;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;
Comment: I feel so sorry for leaving my prev journal dead-dead-dead, for like, years...Need a refreshment for new year and something to write. KazuMana is forever my OTP in ScReW, i love their contrast yet so fitting in a way :)