Old and Ragged things
I stood there on the edge of the ocean bare feet just being licked by the coming tide. Might as well of been the edge of the world. It called to me as siren to a sailor. It whispered how it would quench the fire in my heart. A step closer, I half feared that the water would turn to steam before me. All of my being mortified trying to draw backward, another step forward. I felt the things in my life swirling and twisting just beneneth the surface. I felt as enternal as the very water I was now standing waist deep in. I stayed that way for a long time, to be honest I wasn't really thinking anything. I didn't want to leave but I wouldn't let myself go any farther. I heard him calling for me and the spell was broken. I blinked but I didn't turn around. I heard him splashing into the water to join me. "My little mermaid trying to swim away?"he said as he wrapped a warm arm around me. I looked at him with a half smile"someday, but not today." We walked back hand in hand with soggy jeans and water logged sweaters smelling of salt and funny smells the ocean can offer. His memory has long faded to mist, but that momemt will remain beating in heart as long as I draw breath.
There are so many people that whine constantly about how terrible things are yet they never do anything, but what irks me the most is all people who say how they wish they were dead and how horrible life is yet they never do anything about it they are still here whining. If it's so worthless and horrible go die already and quit putting your filth out there. I know this will make some angry but I don't really care real is real and unreal well duh. The people that die aren't the ones who you find sitting at home complianing speaking of oblivion or darkness. It makes me sick. Everyone acts like they have a right to any opinion on anything they want when they have no experiance at all. People that kill themselves are usually the ones that have actually lived taken risks and loved. Good people and bad. Children are killing themselves everyday while these people whine and complain. Someone just keeps bringing up the subject, someone that has no right to say anything at all and it makes me so steamy because it's so bigoted and holier than thou from someone who is such trash.
Me, I have my own experiances with it but they are personal, things that I refuse to share. Suffice to say that I will never leave my precious death himself will have to come and take me kicking and screaming all the way. It's a matter of honor and obligation.
On the job front things look hopeful, there are 8 openings so far in the position I want so I just have to wait until the hiring freeze is over. I'm not feeling very personable today so I am applying to a bunch of jobs online while I type on this here and there. I'm so angry and about things I shouldn't be and the things I should be angry with I laugh and think them benethe me. My "friend" called me hyporitical for saying that he should get out there and be a little more forward if he truly wanted a g/f. He said that I always bug him about putting personal stuff in his journal and he finally did and I teased him. I didn't tease about the poem I teased about the entry with the one line "I need a girlfriend." I fail to see how that's so hypocritical. I've always believed that a person shouldn't whine if they haven't tried. I suppose there are some things you shouldn't even say to "friends". It's not like he doesn't keep telling me I should go back to school, or hum asking me if I'm going to let MY Daughter continue to were those cute little short skirts when she's older, when I don't recall ever asking his opinion. Not that I'm angry about it but it's just a huge dubble standerd. I've found that in most cases a male wants you to accept whatever they say but it's a big deal if you ever step on their ego. I should try to be friends with a female, but the onces my age around here aren't that good of a crop, and the ones older always look at me like I'm child even though I end up leading them around. I just need to find someone who's like minded not so much the same as me but someone who likes to go hiking and talking about things who doesn't get defensive about stupid stuff. Or maybe I just need to forget it become a herimt and live happly ever after with my precious trying to invent a solor powered playstaion.
There are so many people that whine constantly about how terrible things are yet they never do anything, but what irks me the most is all people who say how they wish they were dead and how horrible life is yet they never do anything about it they are still here whining. If it's so worthless and horrible go die already and quit putting your filth out there. I know this will make some angry but I don't really care real is real and unreal well duh. The people that die aren't the ones who you find sitting at home complianing speaking of oblivion or darkness. It makes me sick. Everyone acts like they have a right to any opinion on anything they want when they have no experiance at all. People that kill themselves are usually the ones that have actually lived taken risks and loved. Good people and bad. Children are killing themselves everyday while these people whine and complain. Someone just keeps bringing up the subject, someone that has no right to say anything at all and it makes me so steamy because it's so bigoted and holier than thou from someone who is such trash.
Me, I have my own experiances with it but they are personal, things that I refuse to share. Suffice to say that I will never leave my precious death himself will have to come and take me kicking and screaming all the way. It's a matter of honor and obligation.
On the job front things look hopeful, there are 8 openings so far in the position I want so I just have to wait until the hiring freeze is over. I'm not feeling very personable today so I am applying to a bunch of jobs online while I type on this here and there. I'm so angry and about things I shouldn't be and the things I should be angry with I laugh and think them benethe me. My "friend" called me hyporitical for saying that he should get out there and be a little more forward if he truly wanted a g/f. He said that I always bug him about putting personal stuff in his journal and he finally did and I teased him. I didn't tease about the poem I teased about the entry with the one line "I need a girlfriend." I fail to see how that's so hypocritical. I've always believed that a person shouldn't whine if they haven't tried. I suppose there are some things you shouldn't even say to "friends". It's not like he doesn't keep telling me I should go back to school, or hum asking me if I'm going to let MY Daughter continue to were those cute little short skirts when she's older, when I don't recall ever asking his opinion. Not that I'm angry about it but it's just a huge dubble standerd. I've found that in most cases a male wants you to accept whatever they say but it's a big deal if you ever step on their ego. I should try to be friends with a female, but the onces my age around here aren't that good of a crop, and the ones older always look at me like I'm child even though I end up leading them around. I just need to find someone who's like minded not so much the same as me but someone who likes to go hiking and talking about things who doesn't get defensive about stupid stuff. Or maybe I just need to forget it become a herimt and live happly ever after with my precious trying to invent a solor powered playstaion.