Abandoned???... Not quite yet XD
Before I left Ireland my Mum was joking," Oh you'll come back in one year and then see a sign 'Malone family has moved'". XD Like my family would take this opportunity to lose me haha
...^,^" No message for a whole week O_o!!! Paranoia set in (XDDD)
Then this morning I got an email from Mimi, saying," Your Daddy *loves* wanted me to tell you they have no internet" etc etc XDDDDD
Of course I KNEW it wasn't possible but still... *not so subtle sigh of relief* XP
So I've been catching up on Outori kyaaaa-n's blog posts and, they made me want to write.
Do I have a place like that? I wonder... Yes I can write about the feeling I get in many different places but... in my true heart, when I am all alone... where do I see? Where am I when I close my eyes?
I'm sure there is a "somewhere" I suppose I've just forgotten... maybe...
Maybe it's this city. Cities... even somewhere like Cork holds a particular abhorrence for me. In cities it is rare to find a place where you can truly feel alone. Just to be, with your thoughts...
Even if it's a deserted park, a bridge over a river, my own room, there is still that buzzing, constant buzzing of electrical sound and movement.
Ahhhh... now I see where it is... where I go when I close my eyes. A bench, green fields stretching out before me, smell of grass, whistling wind, powder blue sky with whisps of clouds... I remember...
I wonder if China will ever have that kind of hold on me... I don't know. I think I won't know until it happens, if it will happen. If all around me is loud, and overwhelming I can at least use this time to look deeper within myself. Who is that in there? How strong is this person? How much can she take until she breaks, and how long before even the broken get the strength to stand once more?
Yes, that's how it will be.
...^,^" No message for a whole week O_o!!! Paranoia set in (XDDD)
Then this morning I got an email from Mimi, saying," Your Daddy *loves* wanted me to tell you they have no internet" etc etc XDDDDD
Of course I KNEW it wasn't possible but still... *not so subtle sigh of relief* XP
So I've been catching up on Outori kyaaaa-n's blog posts and, they made me want to write.
Do I have a place like that? I wonder... Yes I can write about the feeling I get in many different places but... in my true heart, when I am all alone... where do I see? Where am I when I close my eyes?
I'm sure there is a "somewhere" I suppose I've just forgotten... maybe...
Maybe it's this city. Cities... even somewhere like Cork holds a particular abhorrence for me. In cities it is rare to find a place where you can truly feel alone. Just to be, with your thoughts...
Even if it's a deserted park, a bridge over a river, my own room, there is still that buzzing, constant buzzing of electrical sound and movement.
Ahhhh... now I see where it is... where I go when I close my eyes. A bench, green fields stretching out before me, smell of grass, whistling wind, powder blue sky with whisps of clouds... I remember...
I wonder if China will ever have that kind of hold on me... I don't know. I think I won't know until it happens, if it will happen. If all around me is loud, and overwhelming I can at least use this time to look deeper within myself. Who is that in there? How strong is this person? How much can she take until she breaks, and how long before even the broken get the strength to stand once more?
Yes, that's how it will be.