Kanawanai Yakusoku chapter 7
Title : Kanawanai Yakusoku
Pairing : Sakumoto/Juntoshi/Sakumiya
Genre : Angst, romance, m-preg (not clearly mentioned)
Length : chaptered
Rating : pg
Disclaimer : I own nothing, only that I borrowed their names for the characters.
Summary : A semi long distance relationship was never a problem for Jun and Sho, they trusted each other and managed to live the same path. However, the sudden appearance of Ninomiya and Ohno had affected Jun’s decision.
Warning : Bad English, no beta
Sho had never imagined that he would meet Nino in this kind of situation. It was unreal for him; finding the man he had been missing forever stood before him inside Jun’s shop - smiling sincerely as if nothing had happened. He wanted to embrace the guy to pour his longing, to tell him how much had he been suffering, to let Nino know how much sorrow had he been enduring since the day he left him.
“Please take a seat,” Jun told Nino whose eyes fixed on Sho.
“Thanks,” he replied, averting his gaze away. “I heard from Aiba kun that you’re not well, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, thank you for your concern,” Jun flashed a smile to Nino and turned his head to Sho, “It’s a coincidence that my boyfriend is here, we can talk about the wedding plan then.”
Sho tried to smile, but his lips were stiff, he wanted to run away from here; from this awkward moment.
“Sho, this is Ninomiya san I’ve mentioned,” Jun said, gesturing to Sho to get closer. “Ninomiya san, this is Sho.”
Both of them looked at each other awkwardly, but Nino managed to shake Sho’s hand, “Nice to meet you,” he said.
Sho didn’t answer, what was it? This was probably the most stupid thing he had ever faced. Jun gestured to them to sit down meanwhile he disappeared to the kitchen to take some cakes for them. Sho looked at Nino; he should say something now, but what? He couldn’t bring himself to speak, his tongue glued to his mouth, all he could do was staring at the man across from him.
“What a nice person," Nino said, referring to Jun.
He waited for Sho to say something, but the latter seemed to lose his ability to speak.
“You gained weight,” Nino continued.
“Lack of sport,” Sho finally answered, not knowing if that even a proper topic for them to talk about right now.
Nino released a soft chuckle which made all the butterflies from Sho’s stomach flew away. He couldn’t help it, he was ready to pass out from awkwardness.
“Why did you leave?” Sho asked in a tiny voice, trying to keep his expression neutral.
Nino gave him a soft smile, but he didn’t answer his question.
“He doesn’t know about us?” Nino asked him back instead of answering.
“I never told him.”
“Why?”
"I don't know," Sho answered. "I can't bring myself to the conversation about someone who left me just like that, breaking my heart and not caring that I almost die from loneliness."
“Sho chan,” Nino extended his hand but stopped in the air.
Don’t call me by that name, Sho screamed inside his heart. What he had with Nino was the past; they couldn’t take it back now when it was too late.
But…
He wished he could hold those fingers once again, just to make sure that they were real. Nino’s hand was so close with Sho’s; it lay innocently on the table, inviting him to grab it. Those fingers used to brush his hair, used to caress his skin, used to hold him tightly. It was getting worse; he would lose his guard anytime soon.
“Sho, can you help me with the tray?” Jun called him from the kitchen.
Sho rose off of the chair, feeling relief that he had a reason to stay away from Nino - at least for mere seconds. He brought the tray with the drink and let Jun walked ahead of him, he put the coffee cup in front of Nino and gestured to him to enjoy it. Jun had put the chocolate rolls on the center of the table and took a seat in front of Nino. It meant he didn’t need to look at Nino’s face for all time.
Jun and Nino talked about the details of the wedding, but Sho was half-listening. His mind couldn’t grab their conversation properly - it was not happening to him, not when he was going to get married to Jun.
“This hotel will do,” Jun said, pointing at the choice Nino gave him. "I want dark red cloth for the decoration at the front tables, what do you think, Sho?"
Sho’s mind was still drifting away to the memories when he and Nino walked the city aimlessly on one of the hottest nights in the summer.
"Sho?" Jun called him again.
"I think dark red is good," he answered confusedly.
"Alright," Nino nodded and made a note on his I-pad.
The talk about the wedding seemed to go on forever, but Sho almost didn’t listen to half of it. He didn’t know what he should do and he even wasn’t sure about the wedding anymore. He was almost ready in giving up on Nino and welcomed his future with Jun, but with the sudden appearance of Nino had damaged the commitment he had built.
He didn’t speak a word along the way home to the apartment from Jun’s shop. Jun seemed tired either and slept immediately as he leaned his head against the seat. It was only about the time before Jun found out that Sho and Nino were together. Maybe it was the right time to tell him the truth, but Sho didn’t know where to start or what to say.
***
Summer had come and the hot days began. Nino’s favorite time was still the same, hunting for the late supper - at least Sho didn’t need to freeze from the cold wind this time.
“You’ll gain weight if you keep on doing this,” Sho complained as they finished the beef hamburger in a big portion.
“I don’t gain weight that easily,” Nino answered, leading the way towards the side walk while yawning deeply.
“Let’s take a walk.”
“This late?” Sho glanced at his watch, “you have an early shift tomorrow, aren’t you?”
“Oh, come on, Sho chan, I feel like walking tonight,” Nino approached him and grabbed his wrist.
They walked aimlessly around the city, holding hands. It was Friday night where the street was smeared by the half-drunken people and smoking teenagers. Nino held Sho’s elbow tightly as they walked, passing the city park which was full of couples. It was past midnight when Nino finally slumped tiredly on the bench in front of the closed souvenirs shop.
“Let’s go home,” Nino mumbled.
“You’re really troubling me,” Sho slumped beside the guy and leaned his head on the iron bench, looking up towards the dark sky.
Nino shifted closer and rested his head on Sho’s shoulder; both of them looked at the dark sky with their own thoughts. It would be their last date before Sho started his first official flight.
“Nino, are you awake?” Sho mumbled.
“Mmmm,” Nino answered.
Nino dozed off at the end and it was such an effort to wake him up when Sho finally could stop a cab to go back home. They spent the night at Nino’s place which had become too much messier during the summer.
Nino’s hand circled his waist all night, ignoring the hot temperature inside the room. Sho held him back, feeling so content and comfort and hoping that the night would never end.
***
Sho was glad that Jun didn’t raise the topic about the wedding; they reached their apartment, took a quick shower and went to bed. Jun who was still under medication, slept right away after drinking his medicine. But, Sho couldn’t close his eyes, his mind was still in chaos.
He slowly climbed down the bed and headed the living room. It was barely ten in the evening; he turned on the television, but none of the programs attracted his interest. He had run out of the books to read; how could he forget to buy some books today? That was when he found Jun’s tote bag beside the sofa. He peered inside it and took out a book from it - Murakami’s novel.
He never knew that Jun liked Murakami; he even didn’t know that Jun read novels. His readings were all about patissier stuff or boring history books that Sho definitely would never touch.
He flipped the pages and stopped as he found a name was written there; a name that shouldn’t be there.
Ohno Satoshi’s property.
Why was Ohno’s name written on Jun’s book? The only logic explanation was the book wasn’t Jun’s. But why? Did Jun meet Ohno on a regular basis when Sho wasn’t around? The uninvited thoughts sneaked into his heart - the scene where Jun and Ohno talked happily - where Ohno would lay a hand on Jun’s.
“No way,” he whispered and put down the book on the table. He tried to think positively that maybe Jun borrowed the book from Ohno and forgot telling Sho about it.
***
Jun was working for the order of another wedding party when Sho departed for his next flight. It would be a whole week until Sho came back home and it meant their wedding day came closer. However, Jun couldn’t erase the feeling that there was something hanged above them - something unspoken and unknown; yet it was there.
The Valentine day was approaching as well; Jun had completed his creation and he had gotten preorders from his loyal customers. Worked hard could help him suppressing the unnecessary anxiety which weighed him down.
Aiba seemed to realize that Jun didn’t really want to talk about his upcoming wedding since the taller man rarely bragged him with questions. They mainly talked about other things, far from marriage topic and Jun was grateful for that.
Ninomiya had sent him the design of the invitation card which Jun approved almost immediately. He didn’t discuss it with Sho because the man would probably do the same thing. He replied Ninomiya’s email and told him that it was okay to be printed.
Jun found himself standing in the front of city hall on the second day after Sho’s departure. He didn’t really plan to come, but he couldn’t erase Ohno’s innocent smile out of his mind. He got the seat on the end row tonight since he bought the ticket at the last minute and was lucky that he still could get one.
Ohno’s stage play was some kind of Broadway theater in the Japanese version. Ohno played a role of a singer who fell in love with a daughter of a high ranked official on their journey in a yacht, that was what Jun read on a flyer which he got along with the ticket. Ohno and his co-star were printed on the flyer as well - somehow Jun didn’t like it, Ohno looked way too handsome on it.
Ohno appeared at the center of the stage; the spotlight lighted him. He wore a pair of black trousers, black leather shoes, white shirt, bowtie and a boater hat. He began to sing; his voice was too beautiful that Jun shivered on his seat. He never imagined that Ohno was good in singing; his voice fulfilled the room with romantic nuance as if he was able to turn the audiences breathless.
The show went on; Ohno’s co-star - who apparently was a model looked way too tall for the actor. Jun had seen her before on the magazine cover when he bought a book at Kinokuniya.
There was a kissing scene where Jun felt a pang of unpleasant sensation in his chest. Maybe because he knew Ohno in person that seeing him kissing was a bit weird or maybe it was because of Ohno’s expression. He enjoyed the scene - very naturally that it looked so realistic. Jun wondered if everyone made such face when they kissed - Sho didn’t, he thought sourly all of a sudden.
The show ended with loud applause and various comments from the audiences. Ohno’s fan girls seemed jealous of the kissing scene, they bashed the actress and wished Ohno could work with a more talented one. Jun followed them towards the exit; listening to their conversation until they disappeared into the crowds.
He brought his feet to the backstage in order to greet Ohno since he had made a promise to come and Ohno would probably glad to see him coming for real.
Ohno was still busy unbuttoning his white shirt when Jun entered the dressing room. The actor took it off, revealing his muscled arms beneath it. Ohno was skinny, but he had nice muscles which made him look manly; he then put off the tank top and wiped his sweat with a small towel, that was when he realized Jun’s presence.
“Jun kun,” he smiled widely at him. “Thank you for coming, did you enjoy the show?”
“It was terrific,” Jun said sincerely.
Ohno showed him another innocent smile, “Is Sho kun with you?” he asked.
“No, he’s on his flight to Los Angeles by now,” Jun answered.
“Los Angeles, huh,” Ohno replied, putting on his T-shirt and a jacket above it. “Do you have an hour or two for a drink?”
“Sure,” Jun nodded; it had been a while since he went to a bar for a glass of cocktail and having a company would be better than going all alone.
Ohno told him to wait since he needed to take his belongings to the locker room. Jun paid attention to his surroundings; he didn’t take a good view to this back stage on his last visit with Sho. His first impression of this place was messy, but everybody seemed to know where to find what.
He couldn’t imagine if he had to work in this kind of environment; with endless rehearsals; different roles to play; pretended to someone else; kissed a girl he didn’t even know. Somehow - he admired Ohno for his mental strength.
His thoughts drifted to Sho; he had just realized that he never asked Sho the detail of his job; how he handled turbulence; how it felt to fly more than twelve hours; how to handle jetlag. He had been living together with Sho for three years, yet he barely knew his own boyfriend.
“Jun,” Ohno called softly as he put his right hand on Jun’s shoulder, “you’re daydreaming.”
Jun shook his head and looked up at Ohno. The actor was ready with his usual tote bag on his shoulder.
“Where are we going?” Jun asked.
“My favorite bar,” Ohno said while leading the steps outside of the chaotic backstage.
Jun wondered whether he was the only one who never attached to any shops or restaurants. Everyone seemed to have their favorite, but he rarely went to bar or club or restaurant when Sho wasn’t around. He was too occupied to his shop - just like what Aiba had always told him.
“What do you think of the performance?”
“You’re amazing, your voice is so beautiful.”
“I screwed up,” Ohno shook his head.
“You must be kidding me; you sang that song perfectly.”
“Really?” Ohno raised his brows. “My voice is horrible.”
“Believe me, I never heard that kind of voice, you should consider becoming a singer,” Jun commented.
“You’re complementing me too much,” Ohno chuckled.
The bar they entered was full of people, but luckily none of them paid attention to Ohno; it would be troublesome if his fan girls started screaming and asking for his signature. They chose to sit in the seats at the end of the bar and mentioned their order to the bartender. The back ground music which was played was something from the 70s. The atmosphere of that bar was relaxing and Jun understood why Ohno liked it.
“Do you come here often?” Jun asked.
“I usually come after the performance,” Ohno replied, “it gives me time to calm my nerves down.”
They sipped the cocktail and lost in their own thoughts. Jun glanced at the clock on the wall, wondering where Sho was right now. He had just flown the airplane for three hours; Jun wondered whether Sho had ever thought about him when he was on the flight. Jun could never erase the worrisome every time they said good bye; only that he wasn’t good in telling Sho about his true feeling.
“Jun, would you like to visit my apartment?” Ohno asked all of a sudden. “It’s nearby, ten minutes walking distance, we can resume our drinking session there.”
“Maybe I should go home,” Jun said, but it seemed that Ohno didn’t hear him.
“Just for a couple of minutes,” Ohno said with a smile on his lips.
They paid for their drink and stepped out of the bar; Ohno walked a few steps ahead of Jun while humming softly. It was the song he sang on his stage play; Jun followed while looking up to the dark sky. He didn’t know why, but he seemed to think a lot about Sho lately - the weird feeling of losing him always haunted Jun.
Ohno turned around, checking on him. He waited for Jun and walked at the same pace. None of them spoke along the way; they counted their own steps until Ohno mumbled that they were there.
Ohno’s apartment was comfortable and incredibly clean. The furniture was set to a minimum level; it almost felt like no one was staying there. Ohno gestured to Jun to sit down at the soft purple sofa in the middle of the living room meanwhile, he disappeared to the kitchen to take some drink. The table in front of the sofa was too small and crooked at the wrong place as if someone had dropped it from a high place.
Jun looked around; this apartment was probably smaller than his, but it looked bigger since the lack of furniture. He compared it with his living room - where his stuff and Sho’s mixed together and sometimes Sho left his dirty clothes everywhere until Jun was too upset to remind him.
“Here it is,” Ohno put down a cup of tea in front of Jun.
“Tea?” Jun raised his brows, he thought that they would enjoy a can of beer.
“Yeah, tea,” Ohno smiled innocently. “You have to work early in the morning, right?”
“Thanks,” Jun said. He was amazed by Ohno’s sincere concern.
“Your place is so clean,” Jun said honestly.
“Thanks,” Ohno said while looking around. “Cleaning the house is one of my ways to unleash my stress.”
“Really? Never heard something like that before.”
“Now, you did,” Ohno said happily.
Jun sipped the hot tea and surprised that it was unexpectedly delicious. He sipped it once again and put the cup down before turning at Ohno.
“You should look for a partner,” he said without really thinking about it.
Ohno chuckled and leaned his head on the sofa. “Well, I guess so. I just don’t know how to find them. I mean, I fell in love with a few people before and then I found out that they weren’t my type and the relationship ended up.”
“You’re a good man, you’ll find your soulmate sooner or later, the best one,” Jun said.
“Well…” Ohno’s eyes were on him, the man was about to say more, but then he shook his head.
“I think it’s time for me to go home,” Jun glanced at his watch, it was almost midnight and Ohno was right that he had to work early in the morning tomorrow. “Thanks for the tea.”
“You’re welcome,” Ohno said, raising off of the sofa and walked Jun to the doorstep. “Thanks for coming to my show and for visiting my place.”
“My pleasure,” Jun said while wearing his coat and shoes.
“Good night, Ohno san.”
“Good night, Jun,” Ohno said with a soft tone.
***
It was a day before Sho’s return from his flight that Jun and Aiba finished a huge order from one of the richest guys in town. They slumped tiredly on the chair and had just realized it was close to midnight. Aiba had taken two cans of beer from the fridge and put it down in front of Jun.
“We should take a day off tomorrow,” he said while sipping the beer deliciously.
“You’re right,” Jun opened the can and sipped it. It had been a while since he and Aiba worked to midnight; there was simply a too large order to be done and Jun couldn’t trust it to anyone else aside from Aiba. “Sho kun will be home tomorrow, I think I’ll be waiting at home.”
“I envy you,” Aiba said.
“Really?” Jun replied, “he’s such a cold person.”
“But you love him.”
“Of course I do,” Jun said. He rarely talked about Sho, even to Aiba. Come to think about it, he never tried to find out about Sho’s past; he felt that he was left in the dark.
“Aiba, do you think I have to do something about Sho before we get married?” Jun asked.
Taken aback, Aiba scratched his head, “What do you mean by doing something?”
“I don’t know, I think that we haven’t talked from heart to heart, he builds a wall around him,” Jun sipped his beer and gripped the cold can in his hands. He looked at the can as if it had made a mistake towards him.
“Maybe he has something in the past that he can’t get over yet.”
“Someone he can’t forget?” Jun confirmed.
He had been thinking about it for so many time and was scared all over. He tried to convince himself that Sho loved him as much as he did. He was afraid to bring himself to the conversation about Sho’s past, but he had to, sooner or later and he had to make sure that Sho would be honest with him.
They left the shop after tidied up everything and made sure that Fujigaya had received their message to take care of the shop for the next day. Jun stepped towards his door with a heavy heart as he recalled his conversation with Aiba. He slid out the key from his pocket and opened the door. His feet stepped on something on the floor which was slipped under the door; it was an envelope.
Jun bent down and took it; he wondered why the sender didn’t entrust the letter at the locker box at the lobby instead of slipping it under the door.
There was no name on it or where it came from; suspicious that it might be something dangerous, Jun brought it to the kitchen and tore it apart after wearing a pair of gloves.
It was a piece of paper; Jun flattened it and read its contain. The head of the letter was from the city laboratory.
Ninomiya Kokoro : Biological Father, 99% : Sakurai Sho.
Jun couldn’t grab the sentence as he read it; it must be some kind of a joke, he thought. He read it once again and found something else inside the envelope; a photograph.
Sho’s smile was too bright in that picture, his right hand was holding someone, no other than Ninomiya. Jun knew that the picture was an old one since Sho looked way too young in it. He dropped the picture along with the paper. His brain started grabbing the whole thing and he felt as if someone had pulled out his heart from his chest.
Sho, Ninomiya, Sho, Ninomiya
Jun kept on chanting those names as if it could make everything whole again. However, it had created a huge hole in his chest. He didn’t know what to do; he didn’t know what to think. His mind turned blurred and he felt something warm flew on his cheeks.
So Ninomiya was the one Sho had been looking for? But why? How?
He stood up; he didn’t want to be here; in the room he had been sharing with Sho for the past three years. Sho would be here tomorrow morning and Jun was too scared to meet him. What should he say to Sho?
He walked towards the door and walked out; he needed to disappear, he needed to stay away from all of this.
To be continued
a/n: Finally, Jun found out the truth about Sho and Nino L
As always, I want to thank the lovely readers who spared their time to take a look at this series and for leaving such precious comments ^^v. There will be three chapters left and I have to tell you that I’m really enjoying myself writing this ^^ and I’m happy if you guys enjoying reading this, too.
chapter 6
Pairing : Sakumoto/Juntoshi/Sakumiya
Genre : Angst, romance, m-preg (not clearly mentioned)
Length : chaptered
Rating : pg
Disclaimer : I own nothing, only that I borrowed their names for the characters.
Summary : A semi long distance relationship was never a problem for Jun and Sho, they trusted each other and managed to live the same path. However, the sudden appearance of Ninomiya and Ohno had affected Jun’s decision.
Warning : Bad English, no beta
Sho had never imagined that he would meet Nino in this kind of situation. It was unreal for him; finding the man he had been missing forever stood before him inside Jun’s shop - smiling sincerely as if nothing had happened. He wanted to embrace the guy to pour his longing, to tell him how much had he been suffering, to let Nino know how much sorrow had he been enduring since the day he left him.
“Please take a seat,” Jun told Nino whose eyes fixed on Sho.
“Thanks,” he replied, averting his gaze away. “I heard from Aiba kun that you’re not well, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, thank you for your concern,” Jun flashed a smile to Nino and turned his head to Sho, “It’s a coincidence that my boyfriend is here, we can talk about the wedding plan then.”
Sho tried to smile, but his lips were stiff, he wanted to run away from here; from this awkward moment.
“Sho, this is Ninomiya san I’ve mentioned,” Jun said, gesturing to Sho to get closer. “Ninomiya san, this is Sho.”
Both of them looked at each other awkwardly, but Nino managed to shake Sho’s hand, “Nice to meet you,” he said.
Sho didn’t answer, what was it? This was probably the most stupid thing he had ever faced. Jun gestured to them to sit down meanwhile he disappeared to the kitchen to take some cakes for them. Sho looked at Nino; he should say something now, but what? He couldn’t bring himself to speak, his tongue glued to his mouth, all he could do was staring at the man across from him.
“What a nice person," Nino said, referring to Jun.
He waited for Sho to say something, but the latter seemed to lose his ability to speak.
“You gained weight,” Nino continued.
“Lack of sport,” Sho finally answered, not knowing if that even a proper topic for them to talk about right now.
Nino released a soft chuckle which made all the butterflies from Sho’s stomach flew away. He couldn’t help it, he was ready to pass out from awkwardness.
“Why did you leave?” Sho asked in a tiny voice, trying to keep his expression neutral.
Nino gave him a soft smile, but he didn’t answer his question.
“He doesn’t know about us?” Nino asked him back instead of answering.
“I never told him.”
“Why?”
"I don't know," Sho answered. "I can't bring myself to the conversation about someone who left me just like that, breaking my heart and not caring that I almost die from loneliness."
“Sho chan,” Nino extended his hand but stopped in the air.
Don’t call me by that name, Sho screamed inside his heart. What he had with Nino was the past; they couldn’t take it back now when it was too late.
But…
He wished he could hold those fingers once again, just to make sure that they were real. Nino’s hand was so close with Sho’s; it lay innocently on the table, inviting him to grab it. Those fingers used to brush his hair, used to caress his skin, used to hold him tightly. It was getting worse; he would lose his guard anytime soon.
“Sho, can you help me with the tray?” Jun called him from the kitchen.
Sho rose off of the chair, feeling relief that he had a reason to stay away from Nino - at least for mere seconds. He brought the tray with the drink and let Jun walked ahead of him, he put the coffee cup in front of Nino and gestured to him to enjoy it. Jun had put the chocolate rolls on the center of the table and took a seat in front of Nino. It meant he didn’t need to look at Nino’s face for all time.
Jun and Nino talked about the details of the wedding, but Sho was half-listening. His mind couldn’t grab their conversation properly - it was not happening to him, not when he was going to get married to Jun.
“This hotel will do,” Jun said, pointing at the choice Nino gave him. "I want dark red cloth for the decoration at the front tables, what do you think, Sho?"
Sho’s mind was still drifting away to the memories when he and Nino walked the city aimlessly on one of the hottest nights in the summer.
"Sho?" Jun called him again.
"I think dark red is good," he answered confusedly.
"Alright," Nino nodded and made a note on his I-pad.
The talk about the wedding seemed to go on forever, but Sho almost didn’t listen to half of it. He didn’t know what he should do and he even wasn’t sure about the wedding anymore. He was almost ready in giving up on Nino and welcomed his future with Jun, but with the sudden appearance of Nino had damaged the commitment he had built.
He didn’t speak a word along the way home to the apartment from Jun’s shop. Jun seemed tired either and slept immediately as he leaned his head against the seat. It was only about the time before Jun found out that Sho and Nino were together. Maybe it was the right time to tell him the truth, but Sho didn’t know where to start or what to say.
***
Summer had come and the hot days began. Nino’s favorite time was still the same, hunting for the late supper - at least Sho didn’t need to freeze from the cold wind this time.
“You’ll gain weight if you keep on doing this,” Sho complained as they finished the beef hamburger in a big portion.
“I don’t gain weight that easily,” Nino answered, leading the way towards the side walk while yawning deeply.
“Let’s take a walk.”
“This late?” Sho glanced at his watch, “you have an early shift tomorrow, aren’t you?”
“Oh, come on, Sho chan, I feel like walking tonight,” Nino approached him and grabbed his wrist.
They walked aimlessly around the city, holding hands. It was Friday night where the street was smeared by the half-drunken people and smoking teenagers. Nino held Sho’s elbow tightly as they walked, passing the city park which was full of couples. It was past midnight when Nino finally slumped tiredly on the bench in front of the closed souvenirs shop.
“Let’s go home,” Nino mumbled.
“You’re really troubling me,” Sho slumped beside the guy and leaned his head on the iron bench, looking up towards the dark sky.
Nino shifted closer and rested his head on Sho’s shoulder; both of them looked at the dark sky with their own thoughts. It would be their last date before Sho started his first official flight.
“Nino, are you awake?” Sho mumbled.
“Mmmm,” Nino answered.
Nino dozed off at the end and it was such an effort to wake him up when Sho finally could stop a cab to go back home. They spent the night at Nino’s place which had become too much messier during the summer.
Nino’s hand circled his waist all night, ignoring the hot temperature inside the room. Sho held him back, feeling so content and comfort and hoping that the night would never end.
***
Sho was glad that Jun didn’t raise the topic about the wedding; they reached their apartment, took a quick shower and went to bed. Jun who was still under medication, slept right away after drinking his medicine. But, Sho couldn’t close his eyes, his mind was still in chaos.
He slowly climbed down the bed and headed the living room. It was barely ten in the evening; he turned on the television, but none of the programs attracted his interest. He had run out of the books to read; how could he forget to buy some books today? That was when he found Jun’s tote bag beside the sofa. He peered inside it and took out a book from it - Murakami’s novel.
He never knew that Jun liked Murakami; he even didn’t know that Jun read novels. His readings were all about patissier stuff or boring history books that Sho definitely would never touch.
He flipped the pages and stopped as he found a name was written there; a name that shouldn’t be there.
Ohno Satoshi’s property.
Why was Ohno’s name written on Jun’s book? The only logic explanation was the book wasn’t Jun’s. But why? Did Jun meet Ohno on a regular basis when Sho wasn’t around? The uninvited thoughts sneaked into his heart - the scene where Jun and Ohno talked happily - where Ohno would lay a hand on Jun’s.
“No way,” he whispered and put down the book on the table. He tried to think positively that maybe Jun borrowed the book from Ohno and forgot telling Sho about it.
***
Jun was working for the order of another wedding party when Sho departed for his next flight. It would be a whole week until Sho came back home and it meant their wedding day came closer. However, Jun couldn’t erase the feeling that there was something hanged above them - something unspoken and unknown; yet it was there.
The Valentine day was approaching as well; Jun had completed his creation and he had gotten preorders from his loyal customers. Worked hard could help him suppressing the unnecessary anxiety which weighed him down.
Aiba seemed to realize that Jun didn’t really want to talk about his upcoming wedding since the taller man rarely bragged him with questions. They mainly talked about other things, far from marriage topic and Jun was grateful for that.
Ninomiya had sent him the design of the invitation card which Jun approved almost immediately. He didn’t discuss it with Sho because the man would probably do the same thing. He replied Ninomiya’s email and told him that it was okay to be printed.
Jun found himself standing in the front of city hall on the second day after Sho’s departure. He didn’t really plan to come, but he couldn’t erase Ohno’s innocent smile out of his mind. He got the seat on the end row tonight since he bought the ticket at the last minute and was lucky that he still could get one.
Ohno’s stage play was some kind of Broadway theater in the Japanese version. Ohno played a role of a singer who fell in love with a daughter of a high ranked official on their journey in a yacht, that was what Jun read on a flyer which he got along with the ticket. Ohno and his co-star were printed on the flyer as well - somehow Jun didn’t like it, Ohno looked way too handsome on it.
Ohno appeared at the center of the stage; the spotlight lighted him. He wore a pair of black trousers, black leather shoes, white shirt, bowtie and a boater hat. He began to sing; his voice was too beautiful that Jun shivered on his seat. He never imagined that Ohno was good in singing; his voice fulfilled the room with romantic nuance as if he was able to turn the audiences breathless.
The show went on; Ohno’s co-star - who apparently was a model looked way too tall for the actor. Jun had seen her before on the magazine cover when he bought a book at Kinokuniya.
There was a kissing scene where Jun felt a pang of unpleasant sensation in his chest. Maybe because he knew Ohno in person that seeing him kissing was a bit weird or maybe it was because of Ohno’s expression. He enjoyed the scene - very naturally that it looked so realistic. Jun wondered if everyone made such face when they kissed - Sho didn’t, he thought sourly all of a sudden.
The show ended with loud applause and various comments from the audiences. Ohno’s fan girls seemed jealous of the kissing scene, they bashed the actress and wished Ohno could work with a more talented one. Jun followed them towards the exit; listening to their conversation until they disappeared into the crowds.
He brought his feet to the backstage in order to greet Ohno since he had made a promise to come and Ohno would probably glad to see him coming for real.
Ohno was still busy unbuttoning his white shirt when Jun entered the dressing room. The actor took it off, revealing his muscled arms beneath it. Ohno was skinny, but he had nice muscles which made him look manly; he then put off the tank top and wiped his sweat with a small towel, that was when he realized Jun’s presence.
“Jun kun,” he smiled widely at him. “Thank you for coming, did you enjoy the show?”
“It was terrific,” Jun said sincerely.
Ohno showed him another innocent smile, “Is Sho kun with you?” he asked.
“No, he’s on his flight to Los Angeles by now,” Jun answered.
“Los Angeles, huh,” Ohno replied, putting on his T-shirt and a jacket above it. “Do you have an hour or two for a drink?”
“Sure,” Jun nodded; it had been a while since he went to a bar for a glass of cocktail and having a company would be better than going all alone.
Ohno told him to wait since he needed to take his belongings to the locker room. Jun paid attention to his surroundings; he didn’t take a good view to this back stage on his last visit with Sho. His first impression of this place was messy, but everybody seemed to know where to find what.
He couldn’t imagine if he had to work in this kind of environment; with endless rehearsals; different roles to play; pretended to someone else; kissed a girl he didn’t even know. Somehow - he admired Ohno for his mental strength.
His thoughts drifted to Sho; he had just realized that he never asked Sho the detail of his job; how he handled turbulence; how it felt to fly more than twelve hours; how to handle jetlag. He had been living together with Sho for three years, yet he barely knew his own boyfriend.
“Jun,” Ohno called softly as he put his right hand on Jun’s shoulder, “you’re daydreaming.”
Jun shook his head and looked up at Ohno. The actor was ready with his usual tote bag on his shoulder.
“Where are we going?” Jun asked.
“My favorite bar,” Ohno said while leading the steps outside of the chaotic backstage.
Jun wondered whether he was the only one who never attached to any shops or restaurants. Everyone seemed to have their favorite, but he rarely went to bar or club or restaurant when Sho wasn’t around. He was too occupied to his shop - just like what Aiba had always told him.
“What do you think of the performance?”
“You’re amazing, your voice is so beautiful.”
“I screwed up,” Ohno shook his head.
“You must be kidding me; you sang that song perfectly.”
“Really?” Ohno raised his brows. “My voice is horrible.”
“Believe me, I never heard that kind of voice, you should consider becoming a singer,” Jun commented.
“You’re complementing me too much,” Ohno chuckled.
The bar they entered was full of people, but luckily none of them paid attention to Ohno; it would be troublesome if his fan girls started screaming and asking for his signature. They chose to sit in the seats at the end of the bar and mentioned their order to the bartender. The back ground music which was played was something from the 70s. The atmosphere of that bar was relaxing and Jun understood why Ohno liked it.
“Do you come here often?” Jun asked.
“I usually come after the performance,” Ohno replied, “it gives me time to calm my nerves down.”
They sipped the cocktail and lost in their own thoughts. Jun glanced at the clock on the wall, wondering where Sho was right now. He had just flown the airplane for three hours; Jun wondered whether Sho had ever thought about him when he was on the flight. Jun could never erase the worrisome every time they said good bye; only that he wasn’t good in telling Sho about his true feeling.
“Jun, would you like to visit my apartment?” Ohno asked all of a sudden. “It’s nearby, ten minutes walking distance, we can resume our drinking session there.”
“Maybe I should go home,” Jun said, but it seemed that Ohno didn’t hear him.
“Just for a couple of minutes,” Ohno said with a smile on his lips.
They paid for their drink and stepped out of the bar; Ohno walked a few steps ahead of Jun while humming softly. It was the song he sang on his stage play; Jun followed while looking up to the dark sky. He didn’t know why, but he seemed to think a lot about Sho lately - the weird feeling of losing him always haunted Jun.
Ohno turned around, checking on him. He waited for Jun and walked at the same pace. None of them spoke along the way; they counted their own steps until Ohno mumbled that they were there.
Ohno’s apartment was comfortable and incredibly clean. The furniture was set to a minimum level; it almost felt like no one was staying there. Ohno gestured to Jun to sit down at the soft purple sofa in the middle of the living room meanwhile, he disappeared to the kitchen to take some drink. The table in front of the sofa was too small and crooked at the wrong place as if someone had dropped it from a high place.
Jun looked around; this apartment was probably smaller than his, but it looked bigger since the lack of furniture. He compared it with his living room - where his stuff and Sho’s mixed together and sometimes Sho left his dirty clothes everywhere until Jun was too upset to remind him.
“Here it is,” Ohno put down a cup of tea in front of Jun.
“Tea?” Jun raised his brows, he thought that they would enjoy a can of beer.
“Yeah, tea,” Ohno smiled innocently. “You have to work early in the morning, right?”
“Thanks,” Jun said. He was amazed by Ohno’s sincere concern.
“Your place is so clean,” Jun said honestly.
“Thanks,” Ohno said while looking around. “Cleaning the house is one of my ways to unleash my stress.”
“Really? Never heard something like that before.”
“Now, you did,” Ohno said happily.
Jun sipped the hot tea and surprised that it was unexpectedly delicious. He sipped it once again and put the cup down before turning at Ohno.
“You should look for a partner,” he said without really thinking about it.
Ohno chuckled and leaned his head on the sofa. “Well, I guess so. I just don’t know how to find them. I mean, I fell in love with a few people before and then I found out that they weren’t my type and the relationship ended up.”
“You’re a good man, you’ll find your soulmate sooner or later, the best one,” Jun said.
“Well…” Ohno’s eyes were on him, the man was about to say more, but then he shook his head.
“I think it’s time for me to go home,” Jun glanced at his watch, it was almost midnight and Ohno was right that he had to work early in the morning tomorrow. “Thanks for the tea.”
“You’re welcome,” Ohno said, raising off of the sofa and walked Jun to the doorstep. “Thanks for coming to my show and for visiting my place.”
“My pleasure,” Jun said while wearing his coat and shoes.
“Good night, Ohno san.”
“Good night, Jun,” Ohno said with a soft tone.
***
It was a day before Sho’s return from his flight that Jun and Aiba finished a huge order from one of the richest guys in town. They slumped tiredly on the chair and had just realized it was close to midnight. Aiba had taken two cans of beer from the fridge and put it down in front of Jun.
“We should take a day off tomorrow,” he said while sipping the beer deliciously.
“You’re right,” Jun opened the can and sipped it. It had been a while since he and Aiba worked to midnight; there was simply a too large order to be done and Jun couldn’t trust it to anyone else aside from Aiba. “Sho kun will be home tomorrow, I think I’ll be waiting at home.”
“I envy you,” Aiba said.
“Really?” Jun replied, “he’s such a cold person.”
“But you love him.”
“Of course I do,” Jun said. He rarely talked about Sho, even to Aiba. Come to think about it, he never tried to find out about Sho’s past; he felt that he was left in the dark.
“Aiba, do you think I have to do something about Sho before we get married?” Jun asked.
Taken aback, Aiba scratched his head, “What do you mean by doing something?”
“I don’t know, I think that we haven’t talked from heart to heart, he builds a wall around him,” Jun sipped his beer and gripped the cold can in his hands. He looked at the can as if it had made a mistake towards him.
“Maybe he has something in the past that he can’t get over yet.”
“Someone he can’t forget?” Jun confirmed.
He had been thinking about it for so many time and was scared all over. He tried to convince himself that Sho loved him as much as he did. He was afraid to bring himself to the conversation about Sho’s past, but he had to, sooner or later and he had to make sure that Sho would be honest with him.
They left the shop after tidied up everything and made sure that Fujigaya had received their message to take care of the shop for the next day. Jun stepped towards his door with a heavy heart as he recalled his conversation with Aiba. He slid out the key from his pocket and opened the door. His feet stepped on something on the floor which was slipped under the door; it was an envelope.
Jun bent down and took it; he wondered why the sender didn’t entrust the letter at the locker box at the lobby instead of slipping it under the door.
There was no name on it or where it came from; suspicious that it might be something dangerous, Jun brought it to the kitchen and tore it apart after wearing a pair of gloves.
It was a piece of paper; Jun flattened it and read its contain. The head of the letter was from the city laboratory.
Ninomiya Kokoro : Biological Father, 99% : Sakurai Sho.
Jun couldn’t grab the sentence as he read it; it must be some kind of a joke, he thought. He read it once again and found something else inside the envelope; a photograph.
Sho’s smile was too bright in that picture, his right hand was holding someone, no other than Ninomiya. Jun knew that the picture was an old one since Sho looked way too young in it. He dropped the picture along with the paper. His brain started grabbing the whole thing and he felt as if someone had pulled out his heart from his chest.
Sho, Ninomiya, Sho, Ninomiya
Jun kept on chanting those names as if it could make everything whole again. However, it had created a huge hole in his chest. He didn’t know what to do; he didn’t know what to think. His mind turned blurred and he felt something warm flew on his cheeks.
So Ninomiya was the one Sho had been looking for? But why? How?
He stood up; he didn’t want to be here; in the room he had been sharing with Sho for the past three years. Sho would be here tomorrow morning and Jun was too scared to meet him. What should he say to Sho?
He walked towards the door and walked out; he needed to disappear, he needed to stay away from all of this.
To be continued
a/n: Finally, Jun found out the truth about Sho and Nino L
As always, I want to thank the lovely readers who spared their time to take a look at this series and for leaving such precious comments ^^v. There will be three chapters left and I have to tell you that I’m really enjoying myself writing this ^^ and I’m happy if you guys enjoying reading this, too.
chapter 6