A busy day
Phew! I am so tired! Nonetheless, I feel accomplished so that's what counts :)
Yesterday Nicole and I didn't feel like going out. I was kinda busy helping my neighbor by taking him to the surgery center as he had pins installed in two of his right metacarpals due to fracture. I also experienced dysphoria throughout the day :( which made it hard for me to show my "happy I am ok face" to my mom and she thought that I was mad at her. I was actually mad at me for being such a coward, for not standing for what i believe and who I am, so my mom and I ended up yelling at each other as usual without any positive conclusion. We cooked chicken soup at home to give to our neighbor as well to help him in his recovery and then I went to the gym with my brother to play racquetball. I owe my life to racquetball because when I step into the court and start smashing the ball I forget about the bad feelings I have and focus on the game. I played consistent and tactically and had a good workout too so that eased my day somewhat.
Today was a little better, I woke up with a better attitude especially since I knew that I was going to meet my sweetie. Cutie picked me up at 11:10 (which was weird because she is always punctual) and went to the movies to watch "Kick Ass". The movie was good even though we figured that the main character of the movie was really Hit Girl. After the movie, we went to Chick-Fil-A where I ate some nuggets and a side salad with my usual water and lemons :P. Lastly we went to Target. I only got night moisturizer and Nicole got some cute black shoes. I wanted to check the shoe section because I wanted to buy some everyday wear flats and maybe some small hoop earrings to replace my starter studs. I didn't get any of these because I couldn't find shoes my size (12, grr I hate my feet) and they didn't have the simple hoop earrings I was looking for either. We stopped by the library to drop off and pick up some books for cutie's dad and then she took me back home because I was going to help my mom with landscaping.
Ugh, landscaping. So we had my uncle's pick up truck bed filled up with a yard of soil that had to be unloaded and taken to the back of the house. I had to shovel and pull the grass out of the soil from the back of the house. The area we worked on is about the size of a car and a half, which took forever to cleanup. We then unloaded the soil, planted five trees, and placed decorative stones around the edges. We finished by 11 pm. Even though I did a lot of physical work (shoveling, unloading, etc) I was glad my brother was helping us out as he is older and stronger as I am not as strong as I used to be. My mom and dad got on my nerves several times because they lift improperly with their backs instead of using their legs. If they get hurt, the hassle would fall on me. All in all I got my workout for the day by doing the hard work in the garden.
My mom was annoying since the beginning. Since I pretty much let her know of my feminist ideals every chance I get, she put on her pink gardening gloves and told me "look son I wear pink because I am THE woman" and started laughing. At first I thought she was joking but then I noticed she was serious about it. I thought it was weird looking at my mom, a grown up woman be so sexist and blindly falling on gender stereotypes and then being reassuring about it. At least I am getting to know what I am up to when I come out. I will probably will not be "womyn enough" in her eyes. Meh, I shouldn't sweat about it, after all she is the only person I've heard saying in Spanish" "I am glad I don't speak English that way I wouldn't have to curse at people in their language" Translation: "I am fine being an ignorant and I don't care" ugh ugh and ugh.
Yesterday Nicole and I didn't feel like going out. I was kinda busy helping my neighbor by taking him to the surgery center as he had pins installed in two of his right metacarpals due to fracture. I also experienced dysphoria throughout the day :( which made it hard for me to show my "happy I am ok face" to my mom and she thought that I was mad at her. I was actually mad at me for being such a coward, for not standing for what i believe and who I am, so my mom and I ended up yelling at each other as usual without any positive conclusion. We cooked chicken soup at home to give to our neighbor as well to help him in his recovery and then I went to the gym with my brother to play racquetball. I owe my life to racquetball because when I step into the court and start smashing the ball I forget about the bad feelings I have and focus on the game. I played consistent and tactically and had a good workout too so that eased my day somewhat.
Today was a little better, I woke up with a better attitude especially since I knew that I was going to meet my sweetie. Cutie picked me up at 11:10 (which was weird because she is always punctual) and went to the movies to watch "Kick Ass". The movie was good even though we figured that the main character of the movie was really Hit Girl. After the movie, we went to Chick-Fil-A where I ate some nuggets and a side salad with my usual water and lemons :P. Lastly we went to Target. I only got night moisturizer and Nicole got some cute black shoes. I wanted to check the shoe section because I wanted to buy some everyday wear flats and maybe some small hoop earrings to replace my starter studs. I didn't get any of these because I couldn't find shoes my size (12, grr I hate my feet) and they didn't have the simple hoop earrings I was looking for either. We stopped by the library to drop off and pick up some books for cutie's dad and then she took me back home because I was going to help my mom with landscaping.
Ugh, landscaping. So we had my uncle's pick up truck bed filled up with a yard of soil that had to be unloaded and taken to the back of the house. I had to shovel and pull the grass out of the soil from the back of the house. The area we worked on is about the size of a car and a half, which took forever to cleanup. We then unloaded the soil, planted five trees, and placed decorative stones around the edges. We finished by 11 pm. Even though I did a lot of physical work (shoveling, unloading, etc) I was glad my brother was helping us out as he is older and stronger as I am not as strong as I used to be. My mom and dad got on my nerves several times because they lift improperly with their backs instead of using their legs. If they get hurt, the hassle would fall on me. All in all I got my workout for the day by doing the hard work in the garden.
My mom was annoying since the beginning. Since I pretty much let her know of my feminist ideals every chance I get, she put on her pink gardening gloves and told me "look son I wear pink because I am THE woman" and started laughing. At first I thought she was joking but then I noticed she was serious about it. I thought it was weird looking at my mom, a grown up woman be so sexist and blindly falling on gender stereotypes and then being reassuring about it. At least I am getting to know what I am up to when I come out. I will probably will not be "womyn enough" in her eyes. Meh, I shouldn't sweat about it, after all she is the only person I've heard saying in Spanish" "I am glad I don't speak English that way I wouldn't have to curse at people in their language" Translation: "I am fine being an ignorant and I don't care" ugh ugh and ugh.