none of ur business
dear you,
when u told me u wanted me back i pointed out to u that it wouldnt be until i had had the baby atleast this is something is gonna take time u cant expect to me to come running back after what happened i know ur despairate to see lilly and i want u to see her but i can some back until im sure its the right thing to do and right now i dont know . yes i love u but im still hurting and to come back now i risk everything. u said today that if u have to wait til december for me to come back then were not getting back together then u mustnt really want me back. u seem to think this is an easy decission for me to make like deciding what to cook for dinner but its not i cant risk being hurt again not now that know how badly u can hurt me. u say she was just a thing but i cant sstop thinking about the fact that u touched her kissed u may have even made love to her in our bed that hurts. u choose her over me and how do i know ur not still seeing her behind my back how do i know she not one of ur new friends that u want me to meet. these are the thoughts that run through my head i cant stop them and i know they will plague me for the rest of my life. u threw me away so easily so quickly it almost killed me when i landed. do u really want me back or are u just saying u do so u can throw me away again coz i cant do it again one of my biggest fears is that i will come back and everything will be fine for a while and then itll all change like it always does and ull tell me to leave again but this time ill have no where to go and no one to help me. no one will help me again theyre sick of it theyll just dismiss me and call me stupid which i am i guess but i love u and dont want let go of u we should be together but then another part of me is saying he hurt u and hell do it again and i dont want to beleive it but i know its true my head is confused i feel like im being torn in half and i dont really want to stop the tearing coz maybe itll stop the hurt. the truth is its all getting to hard and the cracks are begining to show im trying to hide it but im having trouble i dont have the energy anymore. i dont know what im trying to say anymore i started typing with a purpose but now its all just coming out and i dont know what any of it means but this is whats in my head.
love always me
when u told me u wanted me back i pointed out to u that it wouldnt be until i had had the baby atleast this is something is gonna take time u cant expect to me to come running back after what happened i know ur despairate to see lilly and i want u to see her but i can some back until im sure its the right thing to do and right now i dont know . yes i love u but im still hurting and to come back now i risk everything. u said today that if u have to wait til december for me to come back then were not getting back together then u mustnt really want me back. u seem to think this is an easy decission for me to make like deciding what to cook for dinner but its not i cant risk being hurt again not now that know how badly u can hurt me. u say she was just a thing but i cant sstop thinking about the fact that u touched her kissed u may have even made love to her in our bed that hurts. u choose her over me and how do i know ur not still seeing her behind my back how do i know she not one of ur new friends that u want me to meet. these are the thoughts that run through my head i cant stop them and i know they will plague me for the rest of my life. u threw me away so easily so quickly it almost killed me when i landed. do u really want me back or are u just saying u do so u can throw me away again coz i cant do it again one of my biggest fears is that i will come back and everything will be fine for a while and then itll all change like it always does and ull tell me to leave again but this time ill have no where to go and no one to help me. no one will help me again theyre sick of it theyll just dismiss me and call me stupid which i am i guess but i love u and dont want let go of u we should be together but then another part of me is saying he hurt u and hell do it again and i dont want to beleive it but i know its true my head is confused i feel like im being torn in half and i dont really want to stop the tearing coz maybe itll stop the hurt. the truth is its all getting to hard and the cracks are begining to show im trying to hide it but im having trouble i dont have the energy anymore. i dont know what im trying to say anymore i started typing with a purpose but now its all just coming out and i dont know what any of it means but this is whats in my head.
love always me