pt 9 For you... you know who you are
sitting in the sun can be peacful at times
the sun warming the skin on my face
the tiny breeze that periodically cools me down
my sunglasses are on
they have been on all afternoon
they are starting to leave an imprint on my nose
I have my headphones sitting in my ear
playing measure after measure of melodies
that stir up set in emotions and memories of you and me
as I listen to each bittersweet harmony
I wanna just jump up and scream on the top of my lungs!
WHAT IS GOING ON!? WHY CAN'T I WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?!
but I know that if I did that I would get so much attention
attention on a part of me that I tried to so hard to hide from you
hiding it from you was so hard
why would I want to show anyone else
since apparently showing you didn't work
you still wanted to leave
after all that work
opening me up
you just got up and walked away
I know inside that it was all fake
just little demented pictations you put in front of me
to distract me from what was really going on
but that's ok
it's not like anyone else's feelings matter
isn't that right?
so why is it, with all this bitterness,
that I can't stop repeating these songs over and over
why can't I stop these images of you from racing
why won't you just go away!?
why do you think it's nessicary to haunt my every thought
was the damage you have done not good enough?
does it not appease you to see me emotionally curled up in the fetus position
whimpering like a little child
please mommy make it stop!
is this what you want?
is there more you would like to do?
am I just a cat toy?
does this make you feel like a man?
please tell me what I can do to make you feel like a man!
I want to do this for you
that way I can take these god damn sunglasses off
without being afraid that someone might see that I'm crying
so I can take these god damn headphones off
and live my god damn life!
the sun warming the skin on my face
the tiny breeze that periodically cools me down
my sunglasses are on
they have been on all afternoon
they are starting to leave an imprint on my nose
I have my headphones sitting in my ear
playing measure after measure of melodies
that stir up set in emotions and memories of you and me
as I listen to each bittersweet harmony
I wanna just jump up and scream on the top of my lungs!
WHAT IS GOING ON!? WHY CAN'T I WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?!
but I know that if I did that I would get so much attention
attention on a part of me that I tried to so hard to hide from you
hiding it from you was so hard
why would I want to show anyone else
since apparently showing you didn't work
you still wanted to leave
after all that work
opening me up
you just got up and walked away
I know inside that it was all fake
just little demented pictations you put in front of me
to distract me from what was really going on
but that's ok
it's not like anyone else's feelings matter
isn't that right?
so why is it, with all this bitterness,
that I can't stop repeating these songs over and over
why can't I stop these images of you from racing
why won't you just go away!?
why do you think it's nessicary to haunt my every thought
was the damage you have done not good enough?
does it not appease you to see me emotionally curled up in the fetus position
whimpering like a little child
please mommy make it stop!
is this what you want?
is there more you would like to do?
am I just a cat toy?
does this make you feel like a man?
please tell me what I can do to make you feel like a man!
I want to do this for you
that way I can take these god damn sunglasses off
without being afraid that someone might see that I'm crying
so I can take these god damn headphones off
and live my god damn life!