Ja jan! Introducing the Seven Rangers!!
The SEVEN HENTAI SENTAI RANGERS!
Throughout the annals of time, great evil has arisen to plague the earth. But humankind has always fought back. The people of earth banded together and created the seven phones of power. With seven phones to rule them all, seven phones to bind them, one phone to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. Erm. . . sorry, wrong storyline.
Anyhoo, the seven phones were forged. Ja Jan!
And since time immemorial, seven well-coiffed heroes have heeded the call to claim these phones and save the world. Now is such a time. So without further ado, I introduce to you the SEVEN HENTAI SENTAI RANGERS!
Yellow Ranger: Traditionally, Yellow Ranger serves as the oddball personality in the group. (Well, either that or the second female in the group. But, we won't go there today.) This young man's hobbies include saving money and eating cheap food. So, he fits the bill well. Meet Yellow Ranger Nino!
But, can I play games on this sucker?
Meet Red Ranger: Red is traditionally the leader or the second-in-command amongst Sentai Rangers (sometimes playing lieutenant to Black or Blue). To become a Red Ranger, one must 1) be fearless; 2) be incapable of accepting defeat; and 3) be able to make inane, heroic proclamations (eg. "Good shall always triumph!") in a loud, manly voice. We~ll. . . one out of the three ain't bad, right? Meet Red Ranger Sho!
Our costume is a double parka? Kewl!!!
Meet Green Ranger: Green Rangers usually play the role of the wing man, the back-up guy. He's neither the leader, nor the most dominant personality in the group. But his oft-times weird talent/finishing move is what makes him popular with his fans. Our particular Green Ranger's talent? To be able to walk into any room and light it up with his smile. Meet the little ray of sunshine of the group: Green Ranger Aiba-chan!
Wait, she forgot to mention my amazing English skills!
I believe this is called a "TERRY-FO-MU."
Meet Pink Ranger: Traditionally, the role of Pink Ranger is played by a girl *cough* . . . but a shopaholic, sometimes-bitchy diva was as close as we could get. (No but really, he IS the pretteh-est of the bunch!) Meet our Pink Ranger, Matsujun!
Hmm, pretteh color, but where's the bling?!!!
And the remaining three: This leaves the remaining three rangers: Black, Blue, and White. Black and Blue are traditionally leader colors, while White is a special color, denoting special powers not often seen amongst Rangers. So truly, these last three rangers must be something special. Just who are they? Introducing White Ranger, Blue Ranger, and Black Ranger!!!!
Drumroll please. . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . WTF?!
Blame Sakurai. . . he lost the janken.
Eh?! Ore?!!!!
Ja jan! The SEVEN HENTAI SENTAI RANGERS! (I hear the show is still shopping around for a network.)
Pop Quiz: Identify and describe each hentai sentai ranger's special power.
Throughout the annals of time, great evil has arisen to plague the earth. But humankind has always fought back. The people of earth banded together and created the seven phones of power. With seven phones to rule them all, seven phones to bind them, one phone to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. Erm. . . sorry, wrong storyline.
Anyhoo, the seven phones were forged. Ja Jan!
And since time immemorial, seven well-coiffed heroes have heeded the call to claim these phones and save the world. Now is such a time. So without further ado, I introduce to you the SEVEN HENTAI SENTAI RANGERS!
Yellow Ranger: Traditionally, Yellow Ranger serves as the oddball personality in the group. (Well, either that or the second female in the group. But, we won't go there today.) This young man's hobbies include saving money and eating cheap food. So, he fits the bill well. Meet Yellow Ranger Nino!
But, can I play games on this sucker?
Meet Red Ranger: Red is traditionally the leader or the second-in-command amongst Sentai Rangers (sometimes playing lieutenant to Black or Blue). To become a Red Ranger, one must 1) be fearless; 2) be incapable of accepting defeat; and 3) be able to make inane, heroic proclamations (eg. "Good shall always triumph!") in a loud, manly voice. We~ll. . . one out of the three ain't bad, right? Meet Red Ranger Sho!
Our costume is a double parka? Kewl!!!
Meet Green Ranger: Green Rangers usually play the role of the wing man, the back-up guy. He's neither the leader, nor the most dominant personality in the group. But his oft-times weird talent/finishing move is what makes him popular with his fans. Our particular Green Ranger's talent? To be able to walk into any room and light it up with his smile. Meet the little ray of sunshine of the group: Green Ranger Aiba-chan!
Wait, she forgot to mention my amazing English skills!
I believe this is called a "TERRY-FO-MU."
Meet Pink Ranger: Traditionally, the role of Pink Ranger is played by a girl *cough* . . . but a shopaholic, sometimes-bitchy diva was as close as we could get. (No but really, he IS the pretteh-est of the bunch!) Meet our Pink Ranger, Matsujun!
Hmm, pretteh color, but where's the bling?!!!
And the remaining three: This leaves the remaining three rangers: Black, Blue, and White. Black and Blue are traditionally leader colors, while White is a special color, denoting special powers not often seen amongst Rangers. So truly, these last three rangers must be something special. Just who are they? Introducing White Ranger, Blue Ranger, and Black Ranger!!!!
Drumroll please. . .
. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . WTF?!
Blame Sakurai. . . he lost the janken.
Eh?! Ore?!!!!
Ja jan! The SEVEN HENTAI SENTAI RANGERS! (I hear the show is still shopping around for a network.)
Pop Quiz: Identify and describe each hentai sentai ranger's special power.