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Jul 01, 2006 03:49




Seamingly endless days, filled with laughter.
The strongest dilemna a choice between swingsets or teeter-totters.
Reckeless abandon, but not the kind that causes infection or internal friction.
Taking for granted the freedom only experienced by those too young to understand the immeasurable importance of each breath.

I look into those eyes, and the innocence still locked behind your sullen lids, makes me ache for you, for me, for the dreams you will never realize, for mine that have passed me by. You smile because you have had an awe inspiring encounter with a monarchish creature, but you don't know what lies ahead.

One day, there will be no more beauty waiting at your every whim. One day, you will wake up, feeling older than your years. One day, you will forget who that girl was, the girl with the iron will and the eyes aglow with mischief. One day, you will stop dreaming of the rescuer on the stallion and just hope not to die of lonliness.

I want to freeze this moment for you, for all of you. You deserve that. You deserve to live in your uncontaminated bubble. Life will rape you with no care to how it makes you feel. I swear it 3 life times ago that I wished only to be an adult. I wholeheartedly believed in all the bullshit handed down to me by those around me. I, too, believed that there would be happiness in my future. That I, simple me, could be anything I wanted to be...I only had to hold on long enough, and it would be mine.

Fuck every person who ever spit those trite, evil broken promises at another individual. You can't be anything you want...all we have in this life is to achieve more than the nameless face beside us. Life is one big fucking, malicious curve. You don't have to finish on top. No one, after all, really expects you to. Moreover, if you fail, statistically, Joe Schmoe has a better chance of realizing his dreams.

I'm brokenhearted that someday you, most of you, will write some sullen, melancholy entry in a journal, if pollutants haven't stolen all of the oxygen from your tender lungs, and you will feel for the first, longest, moment in time that you have been bread on lies. They come from every angle: history books, teachers, friends, cults, even those who spawned you.

I will never lay in a field of grass and think of nothing but Koolaid again. I will think about how its too fucking hot, my legs itch, and how i really should be at work, or I won't have a place to live. I'll think of how it confuses me that other people find the cool blades so relaxing, when i just want a beer to be able to enjoy the experience.

In this moment, you are still untainted, purer than air in a region where human filth has not laid its greedy semen. You still dance, unaware of what those around you are thinking. The low point of your day is when the sun fades, mom calls, and you are forced to brush your still-white teeth.

I will never be able to convey any of this so, I will give you another hug, tell you how beautiful you look today, braid your hair, give you some pretzels, and send you outside to play. But, I hope that while you are out there, you find the biggest beatle to poke at with a stick, the wettest puddle in the world to drench your new, white shoes, and all the love your heart could ever hold.
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