The Last Joke 14/15
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is never a good thing, especially when your best friend loves a girl. But when you find out that there is another friend who may like you, may that's the reason to try out whether the relationship would last... until the death will seperate us.
Warning: Spoilers to The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix books.
Disclaimer: I don't own the story or the characters. I'm just a fan who wants to have fun and fill the gaps ;)
Chapter Fourteen: The Unspoken Words
Remus walked out from the Leaky Cauldron. He had had an appointment with Dumbledore, who told him his task was over. The risk of being revealed was getting greater, so Dumbledore thought it was the right time for Remus to stop meeting werewolves.
As Remus was walking down Diagon Alley, he was thinking about his situation. He had no work, no task for the Order, and also Sirius was so cold to him that even an ice statue would have shown more feelings for him than his friend would. All Remus’s attempts to talk to him and melt that ice failed. The last time he had tried to, Sirius told him that Remus was honest with him only during full moons. The truth that during the full moons Sirius was like he was ever - playful and friendly - but after sunrise his coldness returned.
Remus knew this kind of state couldn’t last long. Actually, he had already wondered why Sirius didn’t simply kick him out of the house. Instead of doing that Sirius didn’t even bother to forbid Remus to sleep in the same bed with him. And that was why Remus felt so confused.
Lost in his thoughts he reached the stairs leading to the building of Auror Academy. He sat down on them, watching the few wizards and witches walking around, waiting for Sirius and hoping he would be allowed to go home together with him.
“Hi, Remus. Why so thoughtful?” he heard a cheerful girl’s voice.
“Rea! What are you doing here?” he asked, evidently not pleased to see her.
“Just passing by. What about you?” She gave him an innocent smile.
“Sitting on the stairs as you can see,” snapped Remus, annoyed.
“Waiting for your boyfriend, I assume,” she said, still smiling.
“What do you want, Rea? Why don’t you leave me alone finally?” he asked her indignantly.
“I wouldn’t be so harsh to me if I were you,” she said earnestly.
Remus scowled at her. “You’ve destroyed my life.”
“Me?” she asked, sincerely surprised.
“He saw you kissing me.”
“Oh!” She sat down beside him. “But I haven’t destroyed your life. You’ve done it yourself,” she said calmly.
“What do you mean!?” he asked angrily.
“You played on two sides.”
“Excuse me?” Now he was perplexed.
“Don’t look at me so surprised,” she said and smiled. “I was interested in you, so I did a small research.”
“What research?” he asked warily.
“Firstly, your boyfriend is a future Auror. I think Fenrir wouldn’t be happy to hear you get along with Aurors,” she said sweetly. “Secondly, I suspect you of being in contact with Dumbledore himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if you worked for him. In other words, I believe you’re a spy. Am I right?” She was watching him carefully, waiting for his answer.
“Rubbish,” said Remus quietly, avoiding her eye.
“I don’t think so. You gave me too many aces I could use against you,” she said in a serious tone.
Remus didn’t reply. Rea was right and it wasn’t good at all.
“Listen, Remus. You are not honest with me, but I’ll be honest with you. I know you lied to me in many ways. I doubt you’ve ever killed anyone. I won’t judge you. I was interested in you because of your smartness and kindness until the time I found out about your boyfriend.”
“You threatened me with his death,” said Remus reproachfully.
“Yes, and I’m sorry for that. I realized if I ever had done anything to him, you would never have forgiven me and I would’ve lost you for ever,” she said sadly.
“Rea, I’ve never even considered the possibility of starting anything with you...”
“I know, I know, you’re not interested in girls,” she interrupted. “I want to be your friend,” she said suddenly.
Remus looked at her incredulously, and when he could see sincerity in her eyes, he sighed heavily. “The aces,” he said silently.
“I don’t intend to use them,” she said matter-of-factly. “I won’t touch your boyfriend and I’ve got no interest in the Dark Lord ruling this world to be honest. I’m on his side just because Fenrir is. Fenrir is the only sureness I’ve got. He’s like a father to me...” Her voice broke. Her face was sad and Remus would have sworn he could see tears glistening in her eyes.
She wiped the eyes with the sleeve of her robes and gave Remus a slight smile.
“I won’t bother you anymore,” she said. “And don’t be afraid, I’ll keep your secrets. I’m your friend after all.”
Remus felt embarrassed. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
“I’d better go. Your boyfriend’s coming,” she said and stood up.
Remus leapt to his feet, too, looking around. Up on the stairs in front of the entrance into the building were standing Sirius and James, looking at him and his companion. The expression in Sirius’s face told Remus his friend was very, very angry.
“... just try to understand. I’m convinced there’s a traitor in the Order,” said Sirius in a hushed voice.
“Watch your mouth, Padfoot,” said James sternly as they were walking out from the building of Auror Academy.
“So tell me how Death Eaters could possibly know...”
“Hey, there’s Moony with some girl!” interrupted James suddenly.
Sirius looked the way James was staring.
“I’ll kill her!” he snarled through gritted teeth.
Rea noticed them. She said something to Remus and they both stood up to face Sirius’s anger as he was striding to them with James at his heels.
Sirius grabbed Remus’s wrist painfully, sizing Rea up with a frowned look. She just smiled sweetly and before he or Remus could say anything she spoke in a gentle tone:
“Goodbye, Remus. Take care of yourself.”
After saying that she turned around and walked away, not looking back.
James was standing by his friends with his hands in the pockets. Sirius was still clutching Remus’s wrist, fighting his anger. Remus was pale, bravely enduring the pain Sirius was causing him.
“Sorry, Prongs,” spoke Sirius at last. “I feel like making a jealous scene right now, so excuse us, please.”
“’Course,” said James, shrugging. “See you later, then.”
“Kiss Lily and Harry for me.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
“We’re going home,” Sirius hissed in Remus’s direction, dragging him away with him.
They Disapparated from a more peaceful place.
Sirius didn’t stop clutching Remus’s wrist until he threw him into a chair in their cosy kitchen.
“I’m seriously mad at you,” he said angrily.
“We were just talking,” said Remus for his defence.
“I don’t care whether you were just talking or kissing,” snapped Sirius. “I don’t want you to meet her again. Understood?”
Remus sighed. “Sirius, we need to talk,” he said wearily.
“What about?” asked Sirius with hostility.
“About our relationship.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” said Sirius coldly and turned around to leave the kitchen.
“Wait! Please!” Remus cried pleadingly after him. “Listen to me at least!”
Sirius looked at him suspiciously.
“We can’t live like this any longer,” said Remus desperately. “I know I made you angry and I’m very sorry, but I really can’t explain...”
“That task of yours again,” snorted Sirius. “Spare me your words, please.”
“No! Please, Sirius!” cried Remus again as Sirius made a step towards the kitchen door. “You barely talk to me, you don’t even want to look at me...”
“What do you want from me?” interrupted him Sirius sharply.
Painful realization hit Remus unexpectedly. He shook his head hopelessly. “I don’t get you. Why haven’t you already asked me to leave the house when you apparently don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore?” he asked tiredly.
Sirius sized him up strictly. “I’ll ask you something. Do you have a job?”
Remus was staring at him half-confused and half-ashamed. “No. Not yet,” he answered truthfully.
“Is there a place where you can stay?”
“The Leaky Cauldron maybe.”
“Without any money? Don’t be stupid,” said Sirius haughtily. “As I can see, you’ve got no choice but to stay here. I promised once I’d take care of you. This is your home as well and I won’t ask you to leave. I don’t even mind you sleeping in one bed with me, but if you do, feel free to move elsewhere. Sleep in the garden if you like; just don’t you dare leave the house unless you’ve got enough money to take care of yourself.”
After saying those words he left the kitchen, not giving Remus a single look.
Days were passing by and Sirius’s coldness towards Remus didn’t seem to be fading. They were like two strangers under one roof, living their own lives. Their tasks for the Order were usually different, so the time they could spend together was shortened to minimum.
One day, when Remus came back home after his duty, Sirius wasn’t there yet. His flying motorbike, which he used quite often lately, was standing on its usual spot under an apple tree. Remus sighed heavily by the memory of its first flight. That day he messed up his second chance to have a happy relationship with Sirius. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Dumbledore had asked him again for the task.
The ringing of phantom bells disturbed him in his gloomy thoughts. Sirius walked into the kitchen, throwing himself into a chair. Blood was dripping from many cuts on his body. The skin on his left arm was burned so badly he could barely move it.
“What happened to you?” asked Remus by the sight of Sirius’s miserable state.
“We bumped into a bunch of Death Eaters,” said Sirius with a painful grimace.
Remus came close to him and touched lightly Sirius’s injured arm.
“It looks bad,” he said. “May I?” he asked when he noticed Sirius’s suspicious look.
Sirius nodded without a word.
Remus tipped the sleeve on Sirius’s burned arm with his wand and whispered an incantation. The fabric dissolved immediately, revealing a deep wound. He started examining it carefully.
“It doesn’t look like a curse,” he said after a while. “It was more likely a common spell for setting fire. Am I right?”
“I don’t know. There was a big chaos, it could be anything,” answered Sirius tiredly.
Remus gave the injury another careful look. “Red or green flame?”
“Orange.”
Remus smiled. “So red. You were lucky. If a curse had burned you to this state, you’d never be able to use that arm again. Now prepare yourself, this will hurt.”
He spoke a new incantation and white sparks came out from his wand, falling down on Sirius’s injured arm. They hissed as they touched the burned skin.
Sirius moaned quietly with pain.
“Look at me, Sirius,” a soft voice spoke to him. Remus looked at his friend trembling with pain and gave him an encouraging smile. “Everything will be all right.”
Sirius was staring at him with amazement. “Where did you learn all of this?” he asked.
“I’ve been working in St. Mungo’s for more than a week now, so I’ve picked up a little bit,” answered Remus.
“For more than a week?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t have an opportunity...”
Sirius didn’t reply.
Remus’s attention moved back to his arm. “Looks much better. Do you still feel the pain?”
“No.”
“Fine. I can stop the bleeding now, and then I’ll take you to St. Mungo’s.”
Just one simple spell and the cuts were completely healed.
“Shall we go?” asked Remus after he had bandaged Sirius’s injured arm.
Sirius sighed. “I miss you, Remus,” he said suddenly.
Remus stiffened. Then he took a deep breath and looked into Sirius’s eyes. “I miss you too, Sirius,” he said quietly.
“What shall we do?”
“At first, I’ll take you to St. Mungo’s, and then we’ll have a talk, all right?”
Sirius nodded with a slight smile. He let Remus help him to get to St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Injuries and Maladies.
It took them a couple of hours to get back home. It was already night.
“Thank you,” said Sirius after they entered the house.
Remus smiled. “Anything for you.”
Sirius came closer to him and gently touched his face. At the next moment his lips met Remus’s in a kiss.
“I decided to give you one more chance,” he said after a while. “I forgave you, but I haven’t forgotten. Convince me I can trust you again.”
“I will, I promise,” said Remus with a trembling voice. “I’m sorry for everything.”
“May I ask you about your task?”
“It’s over.”
“Will you tell me about it once?”
“Once. Not today, OK?”
“OK,” agreed Sirius and hugged Remus gently.
They had exchanged a few more kisses before they went to sleep finally.
According to his own words Sirius forgave but didn’t forget. He had never passed the chance to ask Remus what he had been doing while they hadn’t been together. Remus understood him and he felt he owed Sirius the answer. It was tiring, but he wanted to get back Sirius’s trust so desperately that he didn’t mind. From outside it looked like everything was all right again between them, but in reality it was living from day to day. On the other hand, they were so busy that the time they had for each other was little and so neither of them was in a mood to try to solve this new situation.
Aurors had lots of work lately, including James and Sirius. They both were also busy with things for the Order. From time to time Lily helped, too, however she was spending most of her time with her baby son.
St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Injuries and Maladies accepted many injured or cursed wizards and witches every day. Remus as a hospital helper didn’t have time to rest. More and more often he was made to take night shifts.
One evening, when his work shift was at the end, the last thing he was asked to do was to give a Blood-Replenishing Potion to a patient in a room in the Spell Damage ward on the fourth floor. He was walking along the corridor to the room when he spotted two figures standing there.
“Prongs! Lily! What’s going on? Why are you here?” he cried as he recognized them. They both looked tired and worried.
They didn’t answer. James merely pointed at the label on the door of the room where Remus was heading. As he read the name written on it, his face turned pale.
He entered the room.
“Finally!” said the healer mending Sirius’s very badly looking wound on the leg. He took the potion from Remus and made Sirius drink it.
Remus noticed how unnaturally pale Sirius was. He looked rather sick, shaking with pain.
The healer spoke the last incantation and Sirius relaxed at last.
“He lost too much blood,” said the healer to Remus. “The wound was resisting healing spells, but I was finally able to stop the bleeding. Please, tell the one who has got the night shift to keep an eye on him. I’m not sure whether it starts bleeding again.”
Remus nodded and the healer left the room.
Remus came to Sirius’s bed. “Padfoot...” He touched gently his hand.
Sirius gave him a faint, tired smile.
“You look adorable in that outfit,” he said, meaning the snow-white robes Remus was wearing as a hospital helper, different from the lime-green robes of healers.
“This isn’t a good time for your jokes,” said Remus in a mild tone.
Sirius smiled again. “But you really do,” he said hoarsely and started coughing.
James and Lily walked in.
“How do you feel?” asked James, worried.
“Dog-tired,” replied Sirius. “What about you, Lily?”
“I’m fine,” she said shortly.
“What happened?” asked Remus, staring at his three friends.
“Death Eaters tortured the Longbottoms. The three of us along with Mad-Eye, Edgar Bones, and Dedalus Diggle went to help them...”started James.
Remus noticed tears in Lily’s eyes, but she was fighting them bravely in order not to start crying.
“We were late,” continued James quietly. “Frank and Alice... they...” he fell silent. Remus had never seen him so depressed before.
“They lost their minds,” finished Sirius instead of his best friend.
“W-What?” asked Remus, horrified.
Lily gave a loud sob and hot tears started pouring down her cheeks. James hugged her tightly.
“That bitch Bellatrix used the Cruciatus curse on them repeatedly until they went insane. I think she would’ve killed them in the end if we hadn’t come to rescue them. This is her work as well.” Sirius pointed at his injured leg.
Speechless, Remus sank on Sirius’s bed, hiding his face in his hands.
“That’s not everything,” said Sirius weakly and took Remus hand.
Remus looked at him. “What more?” he asked, scared.
Lily started hiccuping as she was crying into James’s robes.
“Edgar Bones is dead,” said Sirius quietly, fixing his eyes on a window.
Remus looked at James.
“Voldemort himself was there. He almost killed Lily,” he said hatefully.
Remus squeezed Sirius’s hand. “I’ll take the night shift,” he said determinedly.
“You should go home and rest,” objected Sirius.
“I want to stay here and keep an eye on you,” insisted Remus.
Sirius pulled Remus’s hand to his mouth and kissed.
Lily’s sobs were slowly fading.
“Come on, Lily, we should go home. We shouldn’t leave Wormtail looking after Harry so long.”
“Why was Wormtail looking after Harry? Why was Lily with you, anyway?” asked Remus after James and Lily left.
“He was the one who told them what was going on. I was with Mad-Eye when Dedalus and Edgar came to inform us, therefore I don’t know why Lily didn’t stay at home,” answered Sirius wearily.
“You should sleep,” said Remus gently. “I’ll bring you a Sleeping Potion.”
He wanted to go, but Sirius didn’t let go of his hand.
“Hug me,” he said pleadingly.
Remus smiled slightly and bent to Sirius to take him in his arms. His mouth sought Sirius’s lips, kissing him tenderly.
“Could you bring me that potion, please?” asked Sirius when Remus straighten up again.
Remus left to come back after a while with a glass of some liquid. He handed it to Sirius and sat down on the bed beside him.
“I switched my shifts. I’ll stay here with you tonight,” he said. “Sleep now.”
Sirius nodded.
Remus stayed with him until the potion started working.
The night was busy, but Remus was checking on Sirius as often as he could. Sirius was sleeping soundly all the time. His wound didn’t start bleeding again. When he woke up in the morning, he felt fresh and healthy.
The healer who had mended him the previous day came to check on his injury. When he made sure everything was all right, he used a couple of some more healing incantations and then released Sirius from the hospital.
He just wanted to leave the room when a conversation right behind the door of his room made him stop and listen.
“... you should be more careful,” sounded a man’s voice. “You shouldn’t be very familiar to those who...” the man hesitated for a moment, “... who have got the same problem as you have,” he continued.
“Excuse me?” the second voice belonged to Remus.
“Your name,” said the man. “I remember it. I saw it in the Daily Prophet months ago. You are the registered one.”
There was a pause.
“I can see you understand,” said the man after a while.
“If you knew who I was, why did you give me this job?” asked Remus.
“To say the truth... My sister has got the same problem. It’s very difficult for her to find a proper work. Even though she’s a wonderful woman, people are afraid of her, so I can understand you very well. Therefore I gave you the chance. You look like a good guy and I’m very satisfied with your work, I have to say.”
“Thank you,” said Remus, and Sirius could hear a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
“Unfortunately, I can’t let you wander around without a name tag or a false name. If I can remember you, anyone can. So, if I can give you an advice, leave the bitten ones to others, will you?”
“Thank you very much, director,” thanked Remus again, this time with gratitude.
“Well then,” said the director of the hospital. “Go home now and have a proper rest.”
Sirius heard his footsteps fading.
So Remus was familiar to some werewolf? Was it a man or a woman? Could it be Rea? he was thinking.
The door opened.
“Good morning, Padfoot. How are you?” asked Remus with a smile as he entered the room.
Sirius smiled back. He didn’t want Remus to notice he had overheard his conversation with the director.
“Very well,” he said. “I was released. I’ve just wanted to go and look for you.”
“If you wait a little, I’ll change and we can go home together.”
“OK,” agreed Sirius.
Remus was back in a couple of minutes.
They left St. Mungo’s and hand in hand went back home.
The loss of the Longbottoms and Edgar Bones was just the beginning of the hell that followed. Shortly after those events the Order of the Phoenix had to deal with the deaths of the McKinnons, Benjy Fenwick and Prewett brothers. Many wizards and witches disappeared without a trace and it started being obvious there was a traitor in the Order.
As Sirius noticed, the traitor had to be someone close to his friends and to him for the dark side knew things that had been spoken just in the closest circle of the members of the Order.
When Dumbledore informed James and Lily about the prophecy that meant great danger to them, he asked them to stay in hiding. Because only few people knew where they lived, they felt safe in Godric’s Hollow.
Sirius was visiting them as often as he could on his flying motorbike. Remus’s work didn’t allow him to be such a frequent guest, but he came along to see them from time to time. Sometimes they came for a visit together, but it was quite rare, because they weren’t usually free in the same time. As for Peter, he used to come for short visits and he always looked unhealthy and troubled. Lily tried several times to talk to him about it, but he always changed the topic, so she gave up.
One day Sirius found out Death Eaters knew something that just five of them could know. It was nothing so important, but the fact itself made him realize the traitor was one of them. Since James and Lily couldn’t leave their house, it could be just Remus or Peter. The thought of cowardly Peter passing down information to Death Eaters was so ridiculous that the only one left was Remus. His Remus. His Moony, who was afraid of himself. How could he be the traitor?
In order to confirm he was wrong he decided to do some research, but what he found out made him even more worried. His Remus, who hated violence, had been meeting werewolves from Greyback’s pack. Rea was one of them. As he found out, Remus had spent much more time with Rea than Sirius would have expected. Could Moony really be the spy of Lord Voldemort? They could see each other so rarely that Sirius had a really vague idea of what Remus was doing all the time.
He remembered Regulus’s warning from two years ago. Regulus had known werewolves. Could he be right about Remus as well? If everything was true and Remus was really the traitor, it meant James and Lily were in deadly peril. He had to warn them!
Sirius mounted his motorbike and flew to Godric’s Hollow.
He found James playing with one-year-old Harry in the garden.
“Hi, Padfoot! Nice to see you!” greeted him James cheerfully.
“Yes, hi,” said Sirius dryly.
James noticed his tone. “What’s up?” he asked.
“I need to talk to you about Moony,” said Sirius in a silent voice.
“Another crisis?” James rolled his eyes.
“No, something different.”
“Well then.”
James took Harry and walked into the house with Sirius at his heels. He gave Harry to Lily, and then they sat down into soft armchairs in the living room.
“Someone from the Order is passing down information to Death Eaters,” said Sirius.
“Yes,” said James thoughtfully. “Everyone knows about it, but no one knows who it is.”
“It’s someone very close to us,” said Sirius and frowned.
“Very close to us? What do you mean?”
“I did some small research and I think...”
“You think it’s Moony,” finished James.
“Well... yes,” admitted Sirius.
“Do you have any proof?”
“He was in touch with Greyback.”
“But he isn’t anymore?”
“I don’t know.”
“Sirius, this is not funny,” said James.
Sirius didn’t like the tone of his voice. Firstly, he called him by the name. Secondly, he said it wasn’t funny. This was truly serious...
“Accusing someone without proof - and even a friend! How can you?”
“Hey! Wait a minute!” cried Sirius, offended. “I’m just trying to tell you it may be Remus and not that it’s definitely him. I found out it could be only one of us...”
“So it’s Moony? What about you? Aren’t you the traitor?” asked James sharply.
“Don’t be stupid! If I were, I wouldn’t have come here to warn you!”
“Why should I believe you?”
“Because I’m your friend, you idiot!” shouted Sirius angrily.
“Yes, because you are my friend!” James cried back. “And Moony and Wormtail are too. That’s why I trust you all. Don’t you dare speak about them in such an insulting way again in front of me or we are not friends anymore. Do you understand?”
Sirius grimaced, but stayed silent.
They were gazing at each other for some time until Sirius stood up.
“I need to go now. Just be careful, please. That was everything I wanted to tell you,” he said, now calmer.
“And you watch your mouth next time,” replied James.
Sirius said nothing to this remark. He went to see Lily, who was preparing dinner in the kitchen; he played with Harry a little and then left Godric’s Hollow.
Since James didn’t want to accept the possibility one of his friends might have been the traitor, Sirius decided to keep Remus under his watch. It wasn’t so simple, because he had his duties as a future Auror and also as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. But whenever it was possible he was close to Remus, like his shadow always at his heels. He explained his strange behaviour as a desire to spend more time together, because they had so little time for each other. The result was that their private life became as passionate as it once used to be. Nevertheless, Sirius had lost his trust in Remus long ago and Remus felt something wasn’t all right, so he became more cautious and secretive. At least he appeared so to Sirius.
The Potters weren’t in hiding for long when the information Voldemort himself was looking for them reached Dumbledore’s ears. He advised them to use someone as a Secret Keeper and he offered himself. James refused politely, insisting on Sirius, whom he trusted absolutely. Sirius agreed, but the night he was supposed to become the Secret Keeper he changed his mind and tried to persuade James to make a Secret Keeper out of Peter instead.
“Everybody knows I’m your best friend,” he said. “Think about it. Who would say you’d entrust your life into the hands of weak-kneed Wormtail? If I were Voldemort I’d go after the one closest to you. No one needs to know about it. I’ll pretend I’m your Secret Keeper. If he kills me, nothing will happen and you and your family will stay safe.”
“You’re not talking about Voldemort. You’re talking about Moony. Are you still convinced he’s the traitor?” asked James wearily.
Sirius didn’t need to answer. The expression in his face told James everything.
“As you wish,” he said resignedly.
And so Peter became the Secret Keeper of the Potters.
Of course, Sirius didn’t tell Remus a word about the change and made Peter swear to be quiet about the whole thing. Satisfied with himself, he returned to his everyday life.
Remus snuggled close to Sirius.
“So you’re the Secret Keeper?” he asked innocently.
“Yeah,” answered Sirius shortly and glanced at his wand lying on a bedside table.
Remus smiled and stroked Sirius’s naked chest. Sirius pushed his hand away unconsciously.
“What’s up with you?” asked Remus and pulled away from him.
“Nothing,” replied Sirius and bent over Remus. “Next round?” he asked with a forced smile.
Remus nodded, but Sirius could see in his eyes that he didn’t convince him. I’ve got to be more careful next time, he thought, angry with himself, hoping he didn’t made Remus suspicious.
Three other days had passed. Sirius came back home after a long and exhausting day. He was surprised when he found Remus there.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work? You said you had a night duty. Or am I wrong?”
“No, you’re not,” answered Remus. “I’ve been sacked. Again,” he said bitterly.
Sirius said nothing. He had half-expected that to happen.
“At least, I can go visit Peter as I promised him some time ago,” said Remus suddenly.
Sirius recoiled.
“Now?” he asked.
“Why not?”
“Why not to stay with me? Come here, we’ll have a nice evening in two,” said Sirius.
“You’re trying to seduce me,” said Remus, amused.
“Don’t you want to be seduced?”
“I do,” Remus smiled, “but whenever we’ve got some time for ourselves we end up in bed.”
“And? Is it wrong?”
“No.”
“So?”
“Stop talking and come to the bedroom!” said Remus impatiently.
Sirius cursed himself for the lack of ideas how to keep Remus at home under his watch. He was tired and longed for sleep, but it was impossible at the moment.
They were taking off their clothes while kissing passionately and Sirius was wondering whether he would have enough strength to carry on until the very end. He must have been a good actor, because Remus didn’t seem to notice anything. His impatient hands were wandering over Sirius’s body, gently stroking his warm skin.
And suddenly, a silver mist shaped like a doe appeared in the room. It didn’t have time to pass down its message; it vanished in the air nearly immediately.
“It was Lily’s Patronus, wasn’t it?” said Remus when he recovered from the shock. He looked at Sirius.
Sirius’s eyes were widened with horror. Before Remus could ask or do anything, he was shoved onto the bed.
Sirius grabbed the wand buried under Remus’s clothes, took his shirt he had been wearing and ran out from the room, shutting the door behind his back. Remus heard him shouting some spells.
When he finally realized what had just happened, he was wandless, imprisoned in the room with no chance to escape.
Sirius was flying on his motorbike to Godric’s Hollow. He was afraid of what he could find there. It was Lily’s Patronus; there was no doubt about it. She was in danger. And James and Harry together with her.
His worst fear took the real shape when he spotted the ruins of the house of his best friend and his family. He landed, pulling out his wand in case there was any danger, although no one was there but him.
“James!” he cried desperately.
No reply.
“James! Lily!”
He was walking among the ruins, looking for his friends and their son. Suddenly, he spotted a body under a fallen wall. There was no blood. He hurried there, but had to turn around as he recognised him.
“James...” he whispered.
He took several deep breaths until he was able to face the fact his friend was lying there dead.
He came to the body and pulled it out from under the wall. James’s glassy eyes were looking somewhere far away into the world Sirius couldn’t see. Shaking all over, Sirius was holding James’s body in his arms as though hoping he would wake up from his eternal dream.
“I was so stupid...” whispered Sirius, his voice trembling. “I’m sorry, my friend...”
With shaking hand he closed James’s eyes. Then he bent to his pale face and kissed his cold forehead.
“I loved you since our first year, did you know?” he said gently, putting James on the ground. He needed to find two other bodies...
He walked deeper among the debris, looking for a red flash of Lily’s hair. He found her easily lying on a great pile of ruins. She was as dead as James was.
“That rat, who betrayed you, will pay for this. That coward!”
A quiet gurgle sounded somewhere close.
“Harry?”
He wasn’t sure whether he heard well, but a burst of baby cry convinced him.
“Harry!”
He found him among the ruins not far away from Lily’s dead body.
“Harry, you’re alive!” he said with relief. He took the baby in his arms, talking to him gently. “Don’t worry, Harry. I’ll take care of you,” he was whispering into Harry’s ear until the baby cry fell silent.
He walked back to his motorbike with his heart bleeding. He didn’t dare look back at the dead bodies of his best friend and his wife.
He spotted a huge figure dashing towards him. He recognised Hagrid immediately.
“Sirius! Blimey! Tha’s horrible!”
Sirius didn’t reply. He was pressing the baby against his chest, wondering what Hagrid could possibly want there.
“Why are you here, Hagrid?” he asked wearily.
“Dumbledore sent me to bring him Harry,” answered Hagrid.
“Harry will stay with me. I’m his godfather,” said Sirius firmly.
“I’m sorry, Sirius, it’s Dumbledore’s order. So Lily an’ James...” he said shakily, “they are... are they...?”
Sirius didn’t have enough strength to answer, so he just nodded wordlessly, looking into Harry’s green eyes so similar to Lily’s.
Hagrid’s howl echoed into the silence. Tears started pouring down from his eyes like two waterfalls.
“Dead... dead... Lily an’ James... I can’ believe it...” he was crying. It took him some time to calm down. “Sirius, I’m sorry. Dumbledore ordered me... Harry shall stay with his blood relatives,” he said, wiping his eyes with a sleeve of his mole coat.
Sirius hesitated. “He’s my godson...” he said weakly, holding Harry tightly.
“It mus’ be hard for yeah too,” said Hagrid with understanding. “But Dumbledore...”
“Hagrid, I... Why not me?” asked Sirius.
“Dumbledore’s got his reasons,” answered Hagrid simply. “Don’ worry, Harry’ll be all righ’.” He took the baby from Sirius’s arms.
Sirius was watching his godson in the gentle hands of the half-giant. Hagrid’s probably right, he thought.
“Take my motorbike, Hagrid. I don’t need it anymore,” he said suddenly.
“You love tha’ motorbike...”
“You can’t Apparate, so take it. You’ll avoid the potential enemies. I don’t need it anymore,” insisted Sirius.
“Thanks, Sirius, yeah a great guy,” said Hagrid, sobbing loudly. He mounted the motorbike and disappeared into the darkness with little Harry Potter in his arms.
Sirius looked one more time at the sad debris of his friends’ home before he Apparated to Peter’s house.
He found him in one of the London streets.
“Wormtail! You rat!” he shouted after him with a strong voice full of fury. Never in his life had he been so angry with anyone.
“S-Sirius!” Peter looked at him, scared.
Muggles around were watching them curiously.
“Tell me just one reason why, you nasty traitor!” Sirius was striding right to him.
“Why? Don’t you know?” asked Peter, and pure hatred reflected in his face. “It’s all your fault, Sirius!”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and James, always together, best friends forever, inseparable. Just Remus was there for me. He was the only one who really cared about me. But after James had started going out with Lily, you needed a new mate for your little adventures. And even that wasn’t enough for you! You made him your lover and he completely forgot about me. Remus was my friend and you took him from me!”
“What are you talking about, you stupid idiot! I’ve never taken Remus from you!”
“You fooled him!”
“You betrayed James and Lily just because Remus had started something with me? You’re mad!”
“You don’t understand anything, Sirius. I didn’t do it only for that. You don’t know the Dark Lord... Now your time’s over. Goodbye, Padfoot,” said Peter hatefully, pointing his wand at his former friend.
“You won’t do that. You’re too big a coward to...”
“Lily and James! How could you, Sirius!” Peter cried as loudly as he could.
At the same moment something exploded. Sirius was knocked down from his feet. He looked around, but in the thick mist he couldn’t see anything, not to say Peter.
“Where are you, you rat!” he cried, but the only answer was screams of horror everywhere around, hissing and splashing of water from broken canalisation, crashes of cars, but no hateful cry of Peter Pettigrew anymore.
The mist around started vanishing. The screams turned into commanding cries.
“Don’t move, Black! You’re surrounded!”
Sirius didn’t understand. He got to his feet, clutching his wand in his hand. As the mist was disappearing, he could see silhouettes of figures with their wands pointed at him.
“Expeliarmus!”
The wand flew out from his hand and landed in the hand of one of the wizards.
“Bind him!” ordered a strong voice.
Chains appeared on Sirius’s wrists, binding him tightly. The mist vanished completely and he found himself in a circle of Aurors. Most of them he knew from Auror Academy. He noticed dead bodies of Muggles lying around. The sudden realisation hit him with its full strength.
“Black, you’re accused of murder of twelve Muggles and a wizard!”
Sirius looked at the man talking to him, Barthemius Crouch.
So Peter managed to escape... He surely turned into a rat and ran away. The whole situation, though serious, appeared absolutely ridiculous to him that he couldn’t help himself but to laugh. He was laughing madly and didn’t stop even when the Aurors were taking him to the Ministry of Magic. In that laugh was all his desperation, grief and anger. He messed everything up. He was responsible for James’s and Lily’s death...
He was sent directly to Azkaban and nobody even bothered to question him. What would he have said, anyway?
Crouch himself escorted him to prison. Before the bars were safely closed behind his back, he asked him for a chance to talk to Dumbledore. Crouch didn’t seem to listen to him, but Sirius was unwilling to give up.
The next day Dumbledore really came to see him.
“I was allowed to visit you just because Mr. Crouch thinks you have got something important to tell me,” he said formally.
“I don’t know whether I’ve got to say something Mr. Crouch would consider to be important,” replied Sirius.
Dumbledore was eyeing him for a while.
“What happened, Sirius? You were accused of alliance with Lord Voldemort...”
So alliance with Lord Voldemort...
“Wizengamot has already sentenced you to life imprisonment.”
“Without my presence?” asked Sirius, shocked.
“They considered you to be a brutal killer without any inhibitions.”
“I see...” Sirius had nothing more to say. What now? Without Peter his chance to get out from there was less than zero. What if he told Dumbledore everything? The story about becoming Animagi and Peter’s escape? Would Dumbledore help him?
Being an unregistered Animagus was illegal in any case. That wouldn’t help him much. And Remus... Dumbledore’s trust meant so much for him. He didn’t have any right to destroy it. And Dumbledore was the only one who could help Remus at the moment.
“Remus... The task he was given... Did it concern werewolves?” he asked in the end.
“Remus was spying for me. He collected lots of useful information.”
“Why didn’t he tell me?”
“He thought it would be safer for both of you.”
“What about that girl, Rea?”
“She was very close to Greyback and so very well informed. I was supporting their friendship, although the fact the girl fell in love with Remus made many things much more complicated. Her interest turned out to be very dangerous for him, for you and for the Order. So I ordered him to end his task.”
Sirius felt blunt pain in his heart. How stupid he was! Remus had never betrayed the Order. How could he possibly think such a foolish thing? His Remus... His sweet Remus... All alone in the house, imprisoned in the room...
“I’d like to ask you for a favour, Headmaster,” he said with heavy feeling of guilt.
“What is it?” Dumbledore’s eyes pierced Sirius’s very being.
“I’ve imprisoned Remus in the house in the bedroom. He hasn’t got his wand with him. I’ve jinxed the door and the window; he can’t get out from there without any help from outside.”
“I see. I’ll go there and free him, then,” said Dumbledore amicably.
“Thank you. And could you tell him for me...”
“No, Sirius, I think I couldn’t,” said Dumbledore firmly.
Sirius looked at him pleadingly. “I need Remus to know...” he said quietly.
“You can write it if you want,” said Dumbledore and conjured a small piece of parchment and a quill.
Sirius gave him a grateful look. He took the parchment and the quill, ready to write. The parchment was too small to write there everything he wanted Remus to know. He was thinking for a little while, and then he scribbled just four words. He handed the folded parchment to Dumbledore.
“He won’t believe it anyway,” he said gloomily.
Dumbledore took the parchment without a word.
“If you have nothing more to say, I need to go,” he said in the end.
“No, nothing,” said Sirius quietly.
Dumbledore nodded. He departed, leaving Sirius alone in his small prison cell.
Remus heard footsteps walking up the stairs. Someone was coming. Was it Sirius? He didn’t really understand what had happened, why Sirius had imprisoned him in this room and hadn’t shown up for the whole night and day.
The person behind the door said an incantation and the door opened. Remus was staring uncomprehendingly at Dumbledore standing in the doorway.
“Professor Dumbledore?” He was looking at him, totally confused. “Where’s Sirius?”
“Come with me to the kitchen, Remus, I need to talk to you,” said Dumbledore and handed Remus his wand.
Remus took it from him, still looking perplexed.
“I have found it in the hall lying on the floor,” explained Dumbledore.
Remus followed him downstairs. They took seats at the table opposite of each other. Reading in Dumbledore’s severe face, Remus understood something serious must have happened, but before he could ask Dumbledore started speaking.
“I’m sorry to tell you this,” he said earnestly, “but your friends, James and Lily Potter, are dead. They were killed by Lord Voldemort the last night.”
Remus stiffened. “H-How?”
“They were betrayed.”
“No,” said Remus firmly. “No, that’s not possible. Sirius would never...” He fell silent.
“Sirius was their Secret Keeper,” said Dumbledore, eyeing Remus.
Remus wanted to say something, but his head was empty. There was nothing to say for Sirius’s defence. Was it really possible that he...?
“What about Harry?” he asked weakly.
“That’s the most interesting part. For some reason Voldemort wasn’t able to kill Harry and it meant his downfall.”
“Downfall?”
“Yes,” said Dumbledore shortly. “As for Harry, I have sent him to the relatives of his mother.”
Remus swallowed. “Where’s Sirius?” he asked, even though he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to hear the answer.
“He’s in Azkaban.”
Remus was gazing at Dumbledore with widened eyes. “A...”
“Yes, Azkaban. Life imprisonment for supporting Lord Voldemort and the murder of twelve Muggles and a wizard - Peter Pettigrew.”
“Peter... He’s dead, too? Sirius did...? I don’t understand.” Remus hid his face in his hands.
“I visited Sirius in Azkaban before I came here. He asked me to let you out from the room.”
Remus didn’t reply, so Dumbledore continued.
“He sent you a message.” He pulled out a small piece of parchment and handed it to Remus.
Remus looked at it suspiciously. “What is it?”
“I don’t know, I’m just a messenger,” said Dumbledore calmly.
Remus took the parchment from him with shaking hand. He opened it to read it, but as his eyes registered the four words written in a bit shaky but familiar handwriting, he dropped the parchment on the table as though it had burned him, jumping to his feet so swiftly that the chair he had been sitting on fell down on the floor with a loud thud.
“What is this supposed to mean!?” he cried in a scandalised voice. “Is he making fun of me!? If he does, then it’s a really bad joke!” He was breathing quickly, glaring at the parchment with furious expression in his face. “How could he?” he asked, outraged.
“I think it’s time for me to go,” said Dumbledore, standing up from his chair. “Can I leave you here alone? Don’t you need anything?” he asked in concerned tone.
“No, thank you,” said Remus, his voice trembling.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Dumbledore nodded. “Take care of yourself,” he said in the end and left Remus alone in the house.
Remus came up to the table hesitantly. He looked at the parchment with the words that made him so angry. They were like derision for everything he had lived in this house.
“You bastard!” he said hatefully, but in the same moment something inside him broke. “You...” He wasn’t able to find a new swearword. “What have you done to me?” he asked desperately.
He couldn’t bear the pain in his bleeding heart anymore. He turned around and ran out of the house. He wanted revenge. He wanted to do something what would have made Sirius furious if he had known about it. So he decided to visit Rea. And the only reason for that were the four words written on the small piece of parchment, which stayed lying on the table.
Those words were:
I love you. Padfoot.
Back to Chapter Thirteen:
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/4486.html
Link to Chapter Fifteen & Epilogue
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/4902.html
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is never a good thing, especially when your best friend loves a girl. But when you find out that there is another friend who may like you, may that's the reason to try out whether the relationship would last... until the death will seperate us.
Warning: Spoilers to The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix books.
Disclaimer: I don't own the story or the characters. I'm just a fan who wants to have fun and fill the gaps ;)
Chapter Fourteen: The Unspoken Words
Remus walked out from the Leaky Cauldron. He had had an appointment with Dumbledore, who told him his task was over. The risk of being revealed was getting greater, so Dumbledore thought it was the right time for Remus to stop meeting werewolves.
As Remus was walking down Diagon Alley, he was thinking about his situation. He had no work, no task for the Order, and also Sirius was so cold to him that even an ice statue would have shown more feelings for him than his friend would. All Remus’s attempts to talk to him and melt that ice failed. The last time he had tried to, Sirius told him that Remus was honest with him only during full moons. The truth that during the full moons Sirius was like he was ever - playful and friendly - but after sunrise his coldness returned.
Remus knew this kind of state couldn’t last long. Actually, he had already wondered why Sirius didn’t simply kick him out of the house. Instead of doing that Sirius didn’t even bother to forbid Remus to sleep in the same bed with him. And that was why Remus felt so confused.
Lost in his thoughts he reached the stairs leading to the building of Auror Academy. He sat down on them, watching the few wizards and witches walking around, waiting for Sirius and hoping he would be allowed to go home together with him.
“Hi, Remus. Why so thoughtful?” he heard a cheerful girl’s voice.
“Rea! What are you doing here?” he asked, evidently not pleased to see her.
“Just passing by. What about you?” She gave him an innocent smile.
“Sitting on the stairs as you can see,” snapped Remus, annoyed.
“Waiting for your boyfriend, I assume,” she said, still smiling.
“What do you want, Rea? Why don’t you leave me alone finally?” he asked her indignantly.
“I wouldn’t be so harsh to me if I were you,” she said earnestly.
Remus scowled at her. “You’ve destroyed my life.”
“Me?” she asked, sincerely surprised.
“He saw you kissing me.”
“Oh!” She sat down beside him. “But I haven’t destroyed your life. You’ve done it yourself,” she said calmly.
“What do you mean!?” he asked angrily.
“You played on two sides.”
“Excuse me?” Now he was perplexed.
“Don’t look at me so surprised,” she said and smiled. “I was interested in you, so I did a small research.”
“What research?” he asked warily.
“Firstly, your boyfriend is a future Auror. I think Fenrir wouldn’t be happy to hear you get along with Aurors,” she said sweetly. “Secondly, I suspect you of being in contact with Dumbledore himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if you worked for him. In other words, I believe you’re a spy. Am I right?” She was watching him carefully, waiting for his answer.
“Rubbish,” said Remus quietly, avoiding her eye.
“I don’t think so. You gave me too many aces I could use against you,” she said in a serious tone.
Remus didn’t reply. Rea was right and it wasn’t good at all.
“Listen, Remus. You are not honest with me, but I’ll be honest with you. I know you lied to me in many ways. I doubt you’ve ever killed anyone. I won’t judge you. I was interested in you because of your smartness and kindness until the time I found out about your boyfriend.”
“You threatened me with his death,” said Remus reproachfully.
“Yes, and I’m sorry for that. I realized if I ever had done anything to him, you would never have forgiven me and I would’ve lost you for ever,” she said sadly.
“Rea, I’ve never even considered the possibility of starting anything with you...”
“I know, I know, you’re not interested in girls,” she interrupted. “I want to be your friend,” she said suddenly.
Remus looked at her incredulously, and when he could see sincerity in her eyes, he sighed heavily. “The aces,” he said silently.
“I don’t intend to use them,” she said matter-of-factly. “I won’t touch your boyfriend and I’ve got no interest in the Dark Lord ruling this world to be honest. I’m on his side just because Fenrir is. Fenrir is the only sureness I’ve got. He’s like a father to me...” Her voice broke. Her face was sad and Remus would have sworn he could see tears glistening in her eyes.
She wiped the eyes with the sleeve of her robes and gave Remus a slight smile.
“I won’t bother you anymore,” she said. “And don’t be afraid, I’ll keep your secrets. I’m your friend after all.”
Remus felt embarrassed. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
“I’d better go. Your boyfriend’s coming,” she said and stood up.
Remus leapt to his feet, too, looking around. Up on the stairs in front of the entrance into the building were standing Sirius and James, looking at him and his companion. The expression in Sirius’s face told Remus his friend was very, very angry.
“... just try to understand. I’m convinced there’s a traitor in the Order,” said Sirius in a hushed voice.
“Watch your mouth, Padfoot,” said James sternly as they were walking out from the building of Auror Academy.
“So tell me how Death Eaters could possibly know...”
“Hey, there’s Moony with some girl!” interrupted James suddenly.
Sirius looked the way James was staring.
“I’ll kill her!” he snarled through gritted teeth.
Rea noticed them. She said something to Remus and they both stood up to face Sirius’s anger as he was striding to them with James at his heels.
Sirius grabbed Remus’s wrist painfully, sizing Rea up with a frowned look. She just smiled sweetly and before he or Remus could say anything she spoke in a gentle tone:
“Goodbye, Remus. Take care of yourself.”
After saying that she turned around and walked away, not looking back.
James was standing by his friends with his hands in the pockets. Sirius was still clutching Remus’s wrist, fighting his anger. Remus was pale, bravely enduring the pain Sirius was causing him.
“Sorry, Prongs,” spoke Sirius at last. “I feel like making a jealous scene right now, so excuse us, please.”
“’Course,” said James, shrugging. “See you later, then.”
“Kiss Lily and Harry for me.”
“Thanks, I’ll do that.”
“We’re going home,” Sirius hissed in Remus’s direction, dragging him away with him.
They Disapparated from a more peaceful place.
Sirius didn’t stop clutching Remus’s wrist until he threw him into a chair in their cosy kitchen.
“I’m seriously mad at you,” he said angrily.
“We were just talking,” said Remus for his defence.
“I don’t care whether you were just talking or kissing,” snapped Sirius. “I don’t want you to meet her again. Understood?”
Remus sighed. “Sirius, we need to talk,” he said wearily.
“What about?” asked Sirius with hostility.
“About our relationship.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” said Sirius coldly and turned around to leave the kitchen.
“Wait! Please!” Remus cried pleadingly after him. “Listen to me at least!”
Sirius looked at him suspiciously.
“We can’t live like this any longer,” said Remus desperately. “I know I made you angry and I’m very sorry, but I really can’t explain...”
“That task of yours again,” snorted Sirius. “Spare me your words, please.”
“No! Please, Sirius!” cried Remus again as Sirius made a step towards the kitchen door. “You barely talk to me, you don’t even want to look at me...”
“What do you want from me?” interrupted him Sirius sharply.
Painful realization hit Remus unexpectedly. He shook his head hopelessly. “I don’t get you. Why haven’t you already asked me to leave the house when you apparently don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore?” he asked tiredly.
Sirius sized him up strictly. “I’ll ask you something. Do you have a job?”
Remus was staring at him half-confused and half-ashamed. “No. Not yet,” he answered truthfully.
“Is there a place where you can stay?”
“The Leaky Cauldron maybe.”
“Without any money? Don’t be stupid,” said Sirius haughtily. “As I can see, you’ve got no choice but to stay here. I promised once I’d take care of you. This is your home as well and I won’t ask you to leave. I don’t even mind you sleeping in one bed with me, but if you do, feel free to move elsewhere. Sleep in the garden if you like; just don’t you dare leave the house unless you’ve got enough money to take care of yourself.”
After saying those words he left the kitchen, not giving Remus a single look.
Days were passing by and Sirius’s coldness towards Remus didn’t seem to be fading. They were like two strangers under one roof, living their own lives. Their tasks for the Order were usually different, so the time they could spend together was shortened to minimum.
One day, when Remus came back home after his duty, Sirius wasn’t there yet. His flying motorbike, which he used quite often lately, was standing on its usual spot under an apple tree. Remus sighed heavily by the memory of its first flight. That day he messed up his second chance to have a happy relationship with Sirius. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if Dumbledore had asked him again for the task.
The ringing of phantom bells disturbed him in his gloomy thoughts. Sirius walked into the kitchen, throwing himself into a chair. Blood was dripping from many cuts on his body. The skin on his left arm was burned so badly he could barely move it.
“What happened to you?” asked Remus by the sight of Sirius’s miserable state.
“We bumped into a bunch of Death Eaters,” said Sirius with a painful grimace.
Remus came close to him and touched lightly Sirius’s injured arm.
“It looks bad,” he said. “May I?” he asked when he noticed Sirius’s suspicious look.
Sirius nodded without a word.
Remus tipped the sleeve on Sirius’s burned arm with his wand and whispered an incantation. The fabric dissolved immediately, revealing a deep wound. He started examining it carefully.
“It doesn’t look like a curse,” he said after a while. “It was more likely a common spell for setting fire. Am I right?”
“I don’t know. There was a big chaos, it could be anything,” answered Sirius tiredly.
Remus gave the injury another careful look. “Red or green flame?”
“Orange.”
Remus smiled. “So red. You were lucky. If a curse had burned you to this state, you’d never be able to use that arm again. Now prepare yourself, this will hurt.”
He spoke a new incantation and white sparks came out from his wand, falling down on Sirius’s injured arm. They hissed as they touched the burned skin.
Sirius moaned quietly with pain.
“Look at me, Sirius,” a soft voice spoke to him. Remus looked at his friend trembling with pain and gave him an encouraging smile. “Everything will be all right.”
Sirius was staring at him with amazement. “Where did you learn all of this?” he asked.
“I’ve been working in St. Mungo’s for more than a week now, so I’ve picked up a little bit,” answered Remus.
“For more than a week?”
“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t have an opportunity...”
Sirius didn’t reply.
Remus’s attention moved back to his arm. “Looks much better. Do you still feel the pain?”
“No.”
“Fine. I can stop the bleeding now, and then I’ll take you to St. Mungo’s.”
Just one simple spell and the cuts were completely healed.
“Shall we go?” asked Remus after he had bandaged Sirius’s injured arm.
Sirius sighed. “I miss you, Remus,” he said suddenly.
Remus stiffened. Then he took a deep breath and looked into Sirius’s eyes. “I miss you too, Sirius,” he said quietly.
“What shall we do?”
“At first, I’ll take you to St. Mungo’s, and then we’ll have a talk, all right?”
Sirius nodded with a slight smile. He let Remus help him to get to St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Injuries and Maladies.
It took them a couple of hours to get back home. It was already night.
“Thank you,” said Sirius after they entered the house.
Remus smiled. “Anything for you.”
Sirius came closer to him and gently touched his face. At the next moment his lips met Remus’s in a kiss.
“I decided to give you one more chance,” he said after a while. “I forgave you, but I haven’t forgotten. Convince me I can trust you again.”
“I will, I promise,” said Remus with a trembling voice. “I’m sorry for everything.”
“May I ask you about your task?”
“It’s over.”
“Will you tell me about it once?”
“Once. Not today, OK?”
“OK,” agreed Sirius and hugged Remus gently.
They had exchanged a few more kisses before they went to sleep finally.
According to his own words Sirius forgave but didn’t forget. He had never passed the chance to ask Remus what he had been doing while they hadn’t been together. Remus understood him and he felt he owed Sirius the answer. It was tiring, but he wanted to get back Sirius’s trust so desperately that he didn’t mind. From outside it looked like everything was all right again between them, but in reality it was living from day to day. On the other hand, they were so busy that the time they had for each other was little and so neither of them was in a mood to try to solve this new situation.
Aurors had lots of work lately, including James and Sirius. They both were also busy with things for the Order. From time to time Lily helped, too, however she was spending most of her time with her baby son.
St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Injuries and Maladies accepted many injured or cursed wizards and witches every day. Remus as a hospital helper didn’t have time to rest. More and more often he was made to take night shifts.
One evening, when his work shift was at the end, the last thing he was asked to do was to give a Blood-Replenishing Potion to a patient in a room in the Spell Damage ward on the fourth floor. He was walking along the corridor to the room when he spotted two figures standing there.
“Prongs! Lily! What’s going on? Why are you here?” he cried as he recognized them. They both looked tired and worried.
They didn’t answer. James merely pointed at the label on the door of the room where Remus was heading. As he read the name written on it, his face turned pale.
He entered the room.
“Finally!” said the healer mending Sirius’s very badly looking wound on the leg. He took the potion from Remus and made Sirius drink it.
Remus noticed how unnaturally pale Sirius was. He looked rather sick, shaking with pain.
The healer spoke the last incantation and Sirius relaxed at last.
“He lost too much blood,” said the healer to Remus. “The wound was resisting healing spells, but I was finally able to stop the bleeding. Please, tell the one who has got the night shift to keep an eye on him. I’m not sure whether it starts bleeding again.”
Remus nodded and the healer left the room.
Remus came to Sirius’s bed. “Padfoot...” He touched gently his hand.
Sirius gave him a faint, tired smile.
“You look adorable in that outfit,” he said, meaning the snow-white robes Remus was wearing as a hospital helper, different from the lime-green robes of healers.
“This isn’t a good time for your jokes,” said Remus in a mild tone.
Sirius smiled again. “But you really do,” he said hoarsely and started coughing.
James and Lily walked in.
“How do you feel?” asked James, worried.
“Dog-tired,” replied Sirius. “What about you, Lily?”
“I’m fine,” she said shortly.
“What happened?” asked Remus, staring at his three friends.
“Death Eaters tortured the Longbottoms. The three of us along with Mad-Eye, Edgar Bones, and Dedalus Diggle went to help them...”started James.
Remus noticed tears in Lily’s eyes, but she was fighting them bravely in order not to start crying.
“We were late,” continued James quietly. “Frank and Alice... they...” he fell silent. Remus had never seen him so depressed before.
“They lost their minds,” finished Sirius instead of his best friend.
“W-What?” asked Remus, horrified.
Lily gave a loud sob and hot tears started pouring down her cheeks. James hugged her tightly.
“That bitch Bellatrix used the Cruciatus curse on them repeatedly until they went insane. I think she would’ve killed them in the end if we hadn’t come to rescue them. This is her work as well.” Sirius pointed at his injured leg.
Speechless, Remus sank on Sirius’s bed, hiding his face in his hands.
“That’s not everything,” said Sirius weakly and took Remus hand.
Remus looked at him. “What more?” he asked, scared.
Lily started hiccuping as she was crying into James’s robes.
“Edgar Bones is dead,” said Sirius quietly, fixing his eyes on a window.
Remus looked at James.
“Voldemort himself was there. He almost killed Lily,” he said hatefully.
Remus squeezed Sirius’s hand. “I’ll take the night shift,” he said determinedly.
“You should go home and rest,” objected Sirius.
“I want to stay here and keep an eye on you,” insisted Remus.
Sirius pulled Remus’s hand to his mouth and kissed.
Lily’s sobs were slowly fading.
“Come on, Lily, we should go home. We shouldn’t leave Wormtail looking after Harry so long.”
“Why was Wormtail looking after Harry? Why was Lily with you, anyway?” asked Remus after James and Lily left.
“He was the one who told them what was going on. I was with Mad-Eye when Dedalus and Edgar came to inform us, therefore I don’t know why Lily didn’t stay at home,” answered Sirius wearily.
“You should sleep,” said Remus gently. “I’ll bring you a Sleeping Potion.”
He wanted to go, but Sirius didn’t let go of his hand.
“Hug me,” he said pleadingly.
Remus smiled slightly and bent to Sirius to take him in his arms. His mouth sought Sirius’s lips, kissing him tenderly.
“Could you bring me that potion, please?” asked Sirius when Remus straighten up again.
Remus left to come back after a while with a glass of some liquid. He handed it to Sirius and sat down on the bed beside him.
“I switched my shifts. I’ll stay here with you tonight,” he said. “Sleep now.”
Sirius nodded.
Remus stayed with him until the potion started working.
The night was busy, but Remus was checking on Sirius as often as he could. Sirius was sleeping soundly all the time. His wound didn’t start bleeding again. When he woke up in the morning, he felt fresh and healthy.
The healer who had mended him the previous day came to check on his injury. When he made sure everything was all right, he used a couple of some more healing incantations and then released Sirius from the hospital.
He just wanted to leave the room when a conversation right behind the door of his room made him stop and listen.
“... you should be more careful,” sounded a man’s voice. “You shouldn’t be very familiar to those who...” the man hesitated for a moment, “... who have got the same problem as you have,” he continued.
“Excuse me?” the second voice belonged to Remus.
“Your name,” said the man. “I remember it. I saw it in the Daily Prophet months ago. You are the registered one.”
There was a pause.
“I can see you understand,” said the man after a while.
“If you knew who I was, why did you give me this job?” asked Remus.
“To say the truth... My sister has got the same problem. It’s very difficult for her to find a proper work. Even though she’s a wonderful woman, people are afraid of her, so I can understand you very well. Therefore I gave you the chance. You look like a good guy and I’m very satisfied with your work, I have to say.”
“Thank you,” said Remus, and Sirius could hear a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
“Unfortunately, I can’t let you wander around without a name tag or a false name. If I can remember you, anyone can. So, if I can give you an advice, leave the bitten ones to others, will you?”
“Thank you very much, director,” thanked Remus again, this time with gratitude.
“Well then,” said the director of the hospital. “Go home now and have a proper rest.”
Sirius heard his footsteps fading.
So Remus was familiar to some werewolf? Was it a man or a woman? Could it be Rea? he was thinking.
The door opened.
“Good morning, Padfoot. How are you?” asked Remus with a smile as he entered the room.
Sirius smiled back. He didn’t want Remus to notice he had overheard his conversation with the director.
“Very well,” he said. “I was released. I’ve just wanted to go and look for you.”
“If you wait a little, I’ll change and we can go home together.”
“OK,” agreed Sirius.
Remus was back in a couple of minutes.
They left St. Mungo’s and hand in hand went back home.
The loss of the Longbottoms and Edgar Bones was just the beginning of the hell that followed. Shortly after those events the Order of the Phoenix had to deal with the deaths of the McKinnons, Benjy Fenwick and Prewett brothers. Many wizards and witches disappeared without a trace and it started being obvious there was a traitor in the Order.
As Sirius noticed, the traitor had to be someone close to his friends and to him for the dark side knew things that had been spoken just in the closest circle of the members of the Order.
When Dumbledore informed James and Lily about the prophecy that meant great danger to them, he asked them to stay in hiding. Because only few people knew where they lived, they felt safe in Godric’s Hollow.
Sirius was visiting them as often as he could on his flying motorbike. Remus’s work didn’t allow him to be such a frequent guest, but he came along to see them from time to time. Sometimes they came for a visit together, but it was quite rare, because they weren’t usually free in the same time. As for Peter, he used to come for short visits and he always looked unhealthy and troubled. Lily tried several times to talk to him about it, but he always changed the topic, so she gave up.
One day Sirius found out Death Eaters knew something that just five of them could know. It was nothing so important, but the fact itself made him realize the traitor was one of them. Since James and Lily couldn’t leave their house, it could be just Remus or Peter. The thought of cowardly Peter passing down information to Death Eaters was so ridiculous that the only one left was Remus. His Remus. His Moony, who was afraid of himself. How could he be the traitor?
In order to confirm he was wrong he decided to do some research, but what he found out made him even more worried. His Remus, who hated violence, had been meeting werewolves from Greyback’s pack. Rea was one of them. As he found out, Remus had spent much more time with Rea than Sirius would have expected. Could Moony really be the spy of Lord Voldemort? They could see each other so rarely that Sirius had a really vague idea of what Remus was doing all the time.
He remembered Regulus’s warning from two years ago. Regulus had known werewolves. Could he be right about Remus as well? If everything was true and Remus was really the traitor, it meant James and Lily were in deadly peril. He had to warn them!
Sirius mounted his motorbike and flew to Godric’s Hollow.
He found James playing with one-year-old Harry in the garden.
“Hi, Padfoot! Nice to see you!” greeted him James cheerfully.
“Yes, hi,” said Sirius dryly.
James noticed his tone. “What’s up?” he asked.
“I need to talk to you about Moony,” said Sirius in a silent voice.
“Another crisis?” James rolled his eyes.
“No, something different.”
“Well then.”
James took Harry and walked into the house with Sirius at his heels. He gave Harry to Lily, and then they sat down into soft armchairs in the living room.
“Someone from the Order is passing down information to Death Eaters,” said Sirius.
“Yes,” said James thoughtfully. “Everyone knows about it, but no one knows who it is.”
“It’s someone very close to us,” said Sirius and frowned.
“Very close to us? What do you mean?”
“I did some small research and I think...”
“You think it’s Moony,” finished James.
“Well... yes,” admitted Sirius.
“Do you have any proof?”
“He was in touch with Greyback.”
“But he isn’t anymore?”
“I don’t know.”
“Sirius, this is not funny,” said James.
Sirius didn’t like the tone of his voice. Firstly, he called him by the name. Secondly, he said it wasn’t funny. This was truly serious...
“Accusing someone without proof - and even a friend! How can you?”
“Hey! Wait a minute!” cried Sirius, offended. “I’m just trying to tell you it may be Remus and not that it’s definitely him. I found out it could be only one of us...”
“So it’s Moony? What about you? Aren’t you the traitor?” asked James sharply.
“Don’t be stupid! If I were, I wouldn’t have come here to warn you!”
“Why should I believe you?”
“Because I’m your friend, you idiot!” shouted Sirius angrily.
“Yes, because you are my friend!” James cried back. “And Moony and Wormtail are too. That’s why I trust you all. Don’t you dare speak about them in such an insulting way again in front of me or we are not friends anymore. Do you understand?”
Sirius grimaced, but stayed silent.
They were gazing at each other for some time until Sirius stood up.
“I need to go now. Just be careful, please. That was everything I wanted to tell you,” he said, now calmer.
“And you watch your mouth next time,” replied James.
Sirius said nothing to this remark. He went to see Lily, who was preparing dinner in the kitchen; he played with Harry a little and then left Godric’s Hollow.
Since James didn’t want to accept the possibility one of his friends might have been the traitor, Sirius decided to keep Remus under his watch. It wasn’t so simple, because he had his duties as a future Auror and also as a member of the Order of the Phoenix. But whenever it was possible he was close to Remus, like his shadow always at his heels. He explained his strange behaviour as a desire to spend more time together, because they had so little time for each other. The result was that their private life became as passionate as it once used to be. Nevertheless, Sirius had lost his trust in Remus long ago and Remus felt something wasn’t all right, so he became more cautious and secretive. At least he appeared so to Sirius.
The Potters weren’t in hiding for long when the information Voldemort himself was looking for them reached Dumbledore’s ears. He advised them to use someone as a Secret Keeper and he offered himself. James refused politely, insisting on Sirius, whom he trusted absolutely. Sirius agreed, but the night he was supposed to become the Secret Keeper he changed his mind and tried to persuade James to make a Secret Keeper out of Peter instead.
“Everybody knows I’m your best friend,” he said. “Think about it. Who would say you’d entrust your life into the hands of weak-kneed Wormtail? If I were Voldemort I’d go after the one closest to you. No one needs to know about it. I’ll pretend I’m your Secret Keeper. If he kills me, nothing will happen and you and your family will stay safe.”
“You’re not talking about Voldemort. You’re talking about Moony. Are you still convinced he’s the traitor?” asked James wearily.
Sirius didn’t need to answer. The expression in his face told James everything.
“As you wish,” he said resignedly.
And so Peter became the Secret Keeper of the Potters.
Of course, Sirius didn’t tell Remus a word about the change and made Peter swear to be quiet about the whole thing. Satisfied with himself, he returned to his everyday life.
Remus snuggled close to Sirius.
“So you’re the Secret Keeper?” he asked innocently.
“Yeah,” answered Sirius shortly and glanced at his wand lying on a bedside table.
Remus smiled and stroked Sirius’s naked chest. Sirius pushed his hand away unconsciously.
“What’s up with you?” asked Remus and pulled away from him.
“Nothing,” replied Sirius and bent over Remus. “Next round?” he asked with a forced smile.
Remus nodded, but Sirius could see in his eyes that he didn’t convince him. I’ve got to be more careful next time, he thought, angry with himself, hoping he didn’t made Remus suspicious.
Three other days had passed. Sirius came back home after a long and exhausting day. He was surprised when he found Remus there.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work? You said you had a night duty. Or am I wrong?”
“No, you’re not,” answered Remus. “I’ve been sacked. Again,” he said bitterly.
Sirius said nothing. He had half-expected that to happen.
“At least, I can go visit Peter as I promised him some time ago,” said Remus suddenly.
Sirius recoiled.
“Now?” he asked.
“Why not?”
“Why not to stay with me? Come here, we’ll have a nice evening in two,” said Sirius.
“You’re trying to seduce me,” said Remus, amused.
“Don’t you want to be seduced?”
“I do,” Remus smiled, “but whenever we’ve got some time for ourselves we end up in bed.”
“And? Is it wrong?”
“No.”
“So?”
“Stop talking and come to the bedroom!” said Remus impatiently.
Sirius cursed himself for the lack of ideas how to keep Remus at home under his watch. He was tired and longed for sleep, but it was impossible at the moment.
They were taking off their clothes while kissing passionately and Sirius was wondering whether he would have enough strength to carry on until the very end. He must have been a good actor, because Remus didn’t seem to notice anything. His impatient hands were wandering over Sirius’s body, gently stroking his warm skin.
And suddenly, a silver mist shaped like a doe appeared in the room. It didn’t have time to pass down its message; it vanished in the air nearly immediately.
“It was Lily’s Patronus, wasn’t it?” said Remus when he recovered from the shock. He looked at Sirius.
Sirius’s eyes were widened with horror. Before Remus could ask or do anything, he was shoved onto the bed.
Sirius grabbed the wand buried under Remus’s clothes, took his shirt he had been wearing and ran out from the room, shutting the door behind his back. Remus heard him shouting some spells.
When he finally realized what had just happened, he was wandless, imprisoned in the room with no chance to escape.
Sirius was flying on his motorbike to Godric’s Hollow. He was afraid of what he could find there. It was Lily’s Patronus; there was no doubt about it. She was in danger. And James and Harry together with her.
His worst fear took the real shape when he spotted the ruins of the house of his best friend and his family. He landed, pulling out his wand in case there was any danger, although no one was there but him.
“James!” he cried desperately.
No reply.
“James! Lily!”
He was walking among the ruins, looking for his friends and their son. Suddenly, he spotted a body under a fallen wall. There was no blood. He hurried there, but had to turn around as he recognised him.
“James...” he whispered.
He took several deep breaths until he was able to face the fact his friend was lying there dead.
He came to the body and pulled it out from under the wall. James’s glassy eyes were looking somewhere far away into the world Sirius couldn’t see. Shaking all over, Sirius was holding James’s body in his arms as though hoping he would wake up from his eternal dream.
“I was so stupid...” whispered Sirius, his voice trembling. “I’m sorry, my friend...”
With shaking hand he closed James’s eyes. Then he bent to his pale face and kissed his cold forehead.
“I loved you since our first year, did you know?” he said gently, putting James on the ground. He needed to find two other bodies...
He walked deeper among the debris, looking for a red flash of Lily’s hair. He found her easily lying on a great pile of ruins. She was as dead as James was.
“That rat, who betrayed you, will pay for this. That coward!”
A quiet gurgle sounded somewhere close.
“Harry?”
He wasn’t sure whether he heard well, but a burst of baby cry convinced him.
“Harry!”
He found him among the ruins not far away from Lily’s dead body.
“Harry, you’re alive!” he said with relief. He took the baby in his arms, talking to him gently. “Don’t worry, Harry. I’ll take care of you,” he was whispering into Harry’s ear until the baby cry fell silent.
He walked back to his motorbike with his heart bleeding. He didn’t dare look back at the dead bodies of his best friend and his wife.
He spotted a huge figure dashing towards him. He recognised Hagrid immediately.
“Sirius! Blimey! Tha’s horrible!”
Sirius didn’t reply. He was pressing the baby against his chest, wondering what Hagrid could possibly want there.
“Why are you here, Hagrid?” he asked wearily.
“Dumbledore sent me to bring him Harry,” answered Hagrid.
“Harry will stay with me. I’m his godfather,” said Sirius firmly.
“I’m sorry, Sirius, it’s Dumbledore’s order. So Lily an’ James...” he said shakily, “they are... are they...?”
Sirius didn’t have enough strength to answer, so he just nodded wordlessly, looking into Harry’s green eyes so similar to Lily’s.
Hagrid’s howl echoed into the silence. Tears started pouring down from his eyes like two waterfalls.
“Dead... dead... Lily an’ James... I can’ believe it...” he was crying. It took him some time to calm down. “Sirius, I’m sorry. Dumbledore ordered me... Harry shall stay with his blood relatives,” he said, wiping his eyes with a sleeve of his mole coat.
Sirius hesitated. “He’s my godson...” he said weakly, holding Harry tightly.
“It mus’ be hard for yeah too,” said Hagrid with understanding. “But Dumbledore...”
“Hagrid, I... Why not me?” asked Sirius.
“Dumbledore’s got his reasons,” answered Hagrid simply. “Don’ worry, Harry’ll be all righ’.” He took the baby from Sirius’s arms.
Sirius was watching his godson in the gentle hands of the half-giant. Hagrid’s probably right, he thought.
“Take my motorbike, Hagrid. I don’t need it anymore,” he said suddenly.
“You love tha’ motorbike...”
“You can’t Apparate, so take it. You’ll avoid the potential enemies. I don’t need it anymore,” insisted Sirius.
“Thanks, Sirius, yeah a great guy,” said Hagrid, sobbing loudly. He mounted the motorbike and disappeared into the darkness with little Harry Potter in his arms.
Sirius looked one more time at the sad debris of his friends’ home before he Apparated to Peter’s house.
He found him in one of the London streets.
“Wormtail! You rat!” he shouted after him with a strong voice full of fury. Never in his life had he been so angry with anyone.
“S-Sirius!” Peter looked at him, scared.
Muggles around were watching them curiously.
“Tell me just one reason why, you nasty traitor!” Sirius was striding right to him.
“Why? Don’t you know?” asked Peter, and pure hatred reflected in his face. “It’s all your fault, Sirius!”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and James, always together, best friends forever, inseparable. Just Remus was there for me. He was the only one who really cared about me. But after James had started going out with Lily, you needed a new mate for your little adventures. And even that wasn’t enough for you! You made him your lover and he completely forgot about me. Remus was my friend and you took him from me!”
“What are you talking about, you stupid idiot! I’ve never taken Remus from you!”
“You fooled him!”
“You betrayed James and Lily just because Remus had started something with me? You’re mad!”
“You don’t understand anything, Sirius. I didn’t do it only for that. You don’t know the Dark Lord... Now your time’s over. Goodbye, Padfoot,” said Peter hatefully, pointing his wand at his former friend.
“You won’t do that. You’re too big a coward to...”
“Lily and James! How could you, Sirius!” Peter cried as loudly as he could.
At the same moment something exploded. Sirius was knocked down from his feet. He looked around, but in the thick mist he couldn’t see anything, not to say Peter.
“Where are you, you rat!” he cried, but the only answer was screams of horror everywhere around, hissing and splashing of water from broken canalisation, crashes of cars, but no hateful cry of Peter Pettigrew anymore.
The mist around started vanishing. The screams turned into commanding cries.
“Don’t move, Black! You’re surrounded!”
Sirius didn’t understand. He got to his feet, clutching his wand in his hand. As the mist was disappearing, he could see silhouettes of figures with their wands pointed at him.
“Expeliarmus!”
The wand flew out from his hand and landed in the hand of one of the wizards.
“Bind him!” ordered a strong voice.
Chains appeared on Sirius’s wrists, binding him tightly. The mist vanished completely and he found himself in a circle of Aurors. Most of them he knew from Auror Academy. He noticed dead bodies of Muggles lying around. The sudden realisation hit him with its full strength.
“Black, you’re accused of murder of twelve Muggles and a wizard!”
Sirius looked at the man talking to him, Barthemius Crouch.
So Peter managed to escape... He surely turned into a rat and ran away. The whole situation, though serious, appeared absolutely ridiculous to him that he couldn’t help himself but to laugh. He was laughing madly and didn’t stop even when the Aurors were taking him to the Ministry of Magic. In that laugh was all his desperation, grief and anger. He messed everything up. He was responsible for James’s and Lily’s death...
He was sent directly to Azkaban and nobody even bothered to question him. What would he have said, anyway?
Crouch himself escorted him to prison. Before the bars were safely closed behind his back, he asked him for a chance to talk to Dumbledore. Crouch didn’t seem to listen to him, but Sirius was unwilling to give up.
The next day Dumbledore really came to see him.
“I was allowed to visit you just because Mr. Crouch thinks you have got something important to tell me,” he said formally.
“I don’t know whether I’ve got to say something Mr. Crouch would consider to be important,” replied Sirius.
Dumbledore was eyeing him for a while.
“What happened, Sirius? You were accused of alliance with Lord Voldemort...”
So alliance with Lord Voldemort...
“Wizengamot has already sentenced you to life imprisonment.”
“Without my presence?” asked Sirius, shocked.
“They considered you to be a brutal killer without any inhibitions.”
“I see...” Sirius had nothing more to say. What now? Without Peter his chance to get out from there was less than zero. What if he told Dumbledore everything? The story about becoming Animagi and Peter’s escape? Would Dumbledore help him?
Being an unregistered Animagus was illegal in any case. That wouldn’t help him much. And Remus... Dumbledore’s trust meant so much for him. He didn’t have any right to destroy it. And Dumbledore was the only one who could help Remus at the moment.
“Remus... The task he was given... Did it concern werewolves?” he asked in the end.
“Remus was spying for me. He collected lots of useful information.”
“Why didn’t he tell me?”
“He thought it would be safer for both of you.”
“What about that girl, Rea?”
“She was very close to Greyback and so very well informed. I was supporting their friendship, although the fact the girl fell in love with Remus made many things much more complicated. Her interest turned out to be very dangerous for him, for you and for the Order. So I ordered him to end his task.”
Sirius felt blunt pain in his heart. How stupid he was! Remus had never betrayed the Order. How could he possibly think such a foolish thing? His Remus... His sweet Remus... All alone in the house, imprisoned in the room...
“I’d like to ask you for a favour, Headmaster,” he said with heavy feeling of guilt.
“What is it?” Dumbledore’s eyes pierced Sirius’s very being.
“I’ve imprisoned Remus in the house in the bedroom. He hasn’t got his wand with him. I’ve jinxed the door and the window; he can’t get out from there without any help from outside.”
“I see. I’ll go there and free him, then,” said Dumbledore amicably.
“Thank you. And could you tell him for me...”
“No, Sirius, I think I couldn’t,” said Dumbledore firmly.
Sirius looked at him pleadingly. “I need Remus to know...” he said quietly.
“You can write it if you want,” said Dumbledore and conjured a small piece of parchment and a quill.
Sirius gave him a grateful look. He took the parchment and the quill, ready to write. The parchment was too small to write there everything he wanted Remus to know. He was thinking for a little while, and then he scribbled just four words. He handed the folded parchment to Dumbledore.
“He won’t believe it anyway,” he said gloomily.
Dumbledore took the parchment without a word.
“If you have nothing more to say, I need to go,” he said in the end.
“No, nothing,” said Sirius quietly.
Dumbledore nodded. He departed, leaving Sirius alone in his small prison cell.
Remus heard footsteps walking up the stairs. Someone was coming. Was it Sirius? He didn’t really understand what had happened, why Sirius had imprisoned him in this room and hadn’t shown up for the whole night and day.
The person behind the door said an incantation and the door opened. Remus was staring uncomprehendingly at Dumbledore standing in the doorway.
“Professor Dumbledore?” He was looking at him, totally confused. “Where’s Sirius?”
“Come with me to the kitchen, Remus, I need to talk to you,” said Dumbledore and handed Remus his wand.
Remus took it from him, still looking perplexed.
“I have found it in the hall lying on the floor,” explained Dumbledore.
Remus followed him downstairs. They took seats at the table opposite of each other. Reading in Dumbledore’s severe face, Remus understood something serious must have happened, but before he could ask Dumbledore started speaking.
“I’m sorry to tell you this,” he said earnestly, “but your friends, James and Lily Potter, are dead. They were killed by Lord Voldemort the last night.”
Remus stiffened. “H-How?”
“They were betrayed.”
“No,” said Remus firmly. “No, that’s not possible. Sirius would never...” He fell silent.
“Sirius was their Secret Keeper,” said Dumbledore, eyeing Remus.
Remus wanted to say something, but his head was empty. There was nothing to say for Sirius’s defence. Was it really possible that he...?
“What about Harry?” he asked weakly.
“That’s the most interesting part. For some reason Voldemort wasn’t able to kill Harry and it meant his downfall.”
“Downfall?”
“Yes,” said Dumbledore shortly. “As for Harry, I have sent him to the relatives of his mother.”
Remus swallowed. “Where’s Sirius?” he asked, even though he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to hear the answer.
“He’s in Azkaban.”
Remus was gazing at Dumbledore with widened eyes. “A...”
“Yes, Azkaban. Life imprisonment for supporting Lord Voldemort and the murder of twelve Muggles and a wizard - Peter Pettigrew.”
“Peter... He’s dead, too? Sirius did...? I don’t understand.” Remus hid his face in his hands.
“I visited Sirius in Azkaban before I came here. He asked me to let you out from the room.”
Remus didn’t reply, so Dumbledore continued.
“He sent you a message.” He pulled out a small piece of parchment and handed it to Remus.
Remus looked at it suspiciously. “What is it?”
“I don’t know, I’m just a messenger,” said Dumbledore calmly.
Remus took the parchment from him with shaking hand. He opened it to read it, but as his eyes registered the four words written in a bit shaky but familiar handwriting, he dropped the parchment on the table as though it had burned him, jumping to his feet so swiftly that the chair he had been sitting on fell down on the floor with a loud thud.
“What is this supposed to mean!?” he cried in a scandalised voice. “Is he making fun of me!? If he does, then it’s a really bad joke!” He was breathing quickly, glaring at the parchment with furious expression in his face. “How could he?” he asked, outraged.
“I think it’s time for me to go,” said Dumbledore, standing up from his chair. “Can I leave you here alone? Don’t you need anything?” he asked in concerned tone.
“No, thank you,” said Remus, his voice trembling.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Dumbledore nodded. “Take care of yourself,” he said in the end and left Remus alone in the house.
Remus came up to the table hesitantly. He looked at the parchment with the words that made him so angry. They were like derision for everything he had lived in this house.
“You bastard!” he said hatefully, but in the same moment something inside him broke. “You...” He wasn’t able to find a new swearword. “What have you done to me?” he asked desperately.
He couldn’t bear the pain in his bleeding heart anymore. He turned around and ran out of the house. He wanted revenge. He wanted to do something what would have made Sirius furious if he had known about it. So he decided to visit Rea. And the only reason for that were the four words written on the small piece of parchment, which stayed lying on the table.
Those words were:
I love you. Padfoot.
Back to Chapter Thirteen:
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/4486.html
Link to Chapter Fifteen & Epilogue
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/4902.html