The Last Joke 12/15
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is never a good thing, especially when your best friend loves a girl. But when you find out that there is another friend who may like you, may that's the reason to try out whether the relationship would last... until the death will seperate us.
Warning: Spoilers to The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix books.
Disclaimer: I don't own the story or the characters. I'm just a fan who wants to have fun and fill the gaps ;)
Chapter Twelve: Remus’s Troubles
“Want more Firewhisky, Padfoot?”
“Sure.”
“No, Prongs! Look at him! He’s already drunk!”
“Come on, Moony, my son was born today. Here, drink it and relax. Wormtail?”
“’Course.”
James poured the alcohol into four glasses.
“Cheers!”
Remus sipped a little and stood his glass on a table while the other three drank the whole contents of their glasses.
“Moony,” James addressed him strictly.
“Sorry, Prongs. I’d better stay sober. As I can see, this idiot won’t be able to get home without my help.” Remus gave a sharp look to Sirius, who just grinned stupidly.
Remus snorted with dislike and looked the other way. Suddenly, he felt a gentle touch of lips on his neck.
“Padfoot! Behave yourself!” James told off his best friend.
“What? He needs a little bit of encouragement,” protested Sirius. “And he tastes good, anyway.”
Remus’s face turned red. He noticed Peter’s disapproving look and blushed even more.
“How is Lily, by the way?” he changed the topic.
James was shining like the morning sun. “She’s doing well, thanks. She’s excellent! I love her, my wife!”
The four of them carried on with their activity until late night hours. Because Peter was too drunk to be able to get home, James offered him to stay in Godric’s Hollow, and Remus, who was the only one sober, had to take care of giggling Sirius and get him home by himself. He put him to bed and Sirius fell asleep immediately.
The next day’s morning was cruel. Instead of a good morning greeting Sirius got a strict, frowned glare from Remus.
“How do you feel?
“As though my head was about to explode,” said Sirius with a painful expression in his face.
Remus considered it was a sufficient punishment for him and decided not to reproach him any further.
“I’ll go out. Probably the fresh air will help me,” said Sirius and walked out to the garden. He sat down on the grass in front of his motorbike.
Remus was watching him for a while, and then he started preparing breakfast. He was decided to make Sirius eat even if he didn’t want anything. From time to time he looked at him. Sirius, sitting in the garden, was waving his wand lazily as though he was trying to find a spell that would get him rid of the headache.
Suddenly, Remus heard the sounds of a starting engine. That can’t be! He doesn’t really want to go for a ride, does he? he thought and ran to the garden.
What he saw was more than he had expected. Sirius didn’t go for a common ride - he went for a flight!
“Sirius!” he cried, scared, as Sirius took off, shouting cheerfully. “Come back!”
But Sirius didn’t seem to hear him. He was too happy to pay any attention to Remus standing on the ground, watching him anxiously. After a while he disappeared from Remus’s sight. It took him nearly half an hour to come back. Remus was still standing in the garden, impatiently waiting for his return.
“I did it, Moony! It flies! The motorbike flies!” he was shouting merrily, but Remus didn’t seem impressed.
“You idiot!” he yelled angrily. “Whining what a horrible headache you’ve got and then you go for a flight! You idiot, you could hurt yourself!”
Sirius was eyeing him, puzzled. “Moony?”
“Have you got the slightest idea how you scared me? Just don’t tell me you feel better now!” Remus went on furiously.
“I do,” said Sirius sheepishly. “I feel much better. The cool air helped me against the headache.”
“You...!” started Remus, but he was already out of words, so he finally fell silent, frowning at Sirius.
“Were you really so scared?” asked Sirius warily.
“Of course I was!” snapped Remus.
“Are you angry with me?”
Remus just snorted. Sirius smiled lightly and came closer to him.
“Thank you,” he said softly, stroking Remus’s cheek.
“Idiot!” Remus barked, turned around and walked into the house.
Sirius followed him quietly. He ate obediently the breakfast prepared by Remus, helped him wash the dishes and tidy up the bedroom. Meanwhile Remus stopped frowning at him, so Sirius found his courage to talk to him again.
“Moony, don’t you want to go for a ride with me?” he asked hesitantly.
Remus stopped making the bed and looked out from the window. “Maybe. Once. Not today...”
“Why?” Sirius asked, disappointed.
Remus looked at him sadly. “How do you feel? Do you really feel better?”
Sirius nodded.
“In that case, I need to go. I’m sorry, Padfoot. Maybe next time.” Remus came up to Sirius, giving him a small kiss.
“That Dumbledore’s task again?” asked Sirius.
“Yes. Sorry.” Remus went to the door.
“Will you come back in the evening?” asked Sirius hopefully.
“I don’t know. I’ll try.”
“I’ll be waiting for you.”
Remus smiled slightly. “Don’t forget to do the shopping you promised,” he said before he departed.
Remus was staring at a pretty black-haired girl in front of him.
“Look, Rea,” he started slowly as though he was afraid of her reaction. “I know what you want from me, but I can’t give it to you. Do you understand?”
“You’ve already got someone?” asked Rea. “Is she of our kind?”
“No, that’s not the point,” said Remus and reached for a glass standing in front of him. “I don’t like girls, that’s all.”
Silence.
Rea straightened up in her chair, gazing at Remus, who was sitting with her at a table in front of Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour in Diagon Alley. The place became quite dangerous, but as for two young werewolves, it was safer than for ordinary wizards.
“You like guys?” she asked at last, rather confused.
Remus gave her a mysterious smile and sipped from the golden beverage in his glass.
“Have you got a boyfriend, then?”
Remus put the glass back on the table. “That’s none of your business.”
“I suppose you have,” said Rea provocatively.
“Rea,” Remus addressed her in a strict voice. “Don’t you dare hurt people around me or I’ll make you pay for it in a very cruel way and I won’t care that you are Greyback’s favourite,” he said coldly.
She gave him an insolent look. “Oh, come on! What do you think about me?”
“I know you. You are already thinking how to eliminate your potential rival,” said Remus and pierced her with his glare. “I warn you one more time: don’t you even dare to touch anyone around me. They all belong to me.”
Rea gave him a mischievous smile. She stood up and came closer to him.
“You are paying today,” she said loftily. She bent to Remus and looked into his eyes. “You were right, I was really thinking of eliminating your boyfriend.” She grinned sinisterly. “I’m not used to be rejected. It truly hurts, you know. As for today, I forgive you. But, Remus, you’ll become mine one day, willing or not. And...” she bent even lower, “... I’m sure your boyfriend is that sexy black-haired bloke with whom I met you a couple of months ago,” she whispered darkly into his ear. She smiled at him one more time and pressed her soft lips on Remus’s mouth.
His first thought was to shove her away indignantly, but her violent penetrating into his mouth reminded him what she was capable of and he really didn’t wish to get a bloody greeting from her engraved into Sirius’s torn body. Because of that he endured her greedy kiss.
When she finally straightened up, she gave him a triumphant smile.
“You’ve understood as I can see. Clever boy,” she said, satisfied. Then her expression changed. She looked like a sweet doll happily in love. “See you later, darling,” she said loudly in a singing voice, turned around and walked away.
Sirius went to Diagon Alley to do the shopping that he had promised to Remus. They were already short of food. They usually went together, or the one who had free time went on his own. As for today, it was Sirius.
He was just walking to the Leaky Cauldron in order to pass through to Muggle London. He wanted to go to a Muggle newsagent’s and buy a Muggle magazine about motorbikes. He pulled out Muggle money from the pocket. He looked at it and shook his head hopelessly. He really didn’t understand it. Too many various types of coins and even those papers called notes - he couldn’t understand them at all. Fortunately, Remus understood Muggle currency much better and he always helped Sirius handle a deal or he simply gave him an exact amount of needed coins. Like today.
He put the money back into the pocket and looked around. Diagon Alley had rapidly changed in the last two years. The change itself wasn’t in the appearance but in its gloomy atmosphere. And from day to day it was getting worse.
Sirius noticed a young couple sitting at a table in front of the Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour. He wouldn’t have paid any attention to them if they hadn’t been the only ones sitting there. In the next second Sirius’s stomach made a double somersault when he recognized both persons. What the hell was Remus doing there with Rea!?
He stepped back into the shadow of the nearest building, watching his friend and the werewolf girl in a quite interesting conversation as it appeared to him. He would have given anything to be able to hear what they were talking about. Remus must have said something surprising, because Rea looked astonished. It took her some time to speak again. Meanwhile Remus was watching her, slowly drinking from his glass in a very suspiciously looking way. He was flirting with her!
Sirius felt anger rising in him. When Rea finally found her lost speech, Remus’s expression got serious again. He answered her something, but it seemed he just amused her. She stood up and came up to him. She bent low to him; their faces were only inches from each other. Sirius held his breath as she bent lower, but she just said something into Remus’s ear, obviously satisfied with herself.
What was that girl up to? thought Sirius angrily.
What happened then took his breath away. With widened eyes he was watching Rea in a deep kiss with Remus. His Remus. How dared she!? The anger he felt turned into fury. He could see Remus’s surprise and he expected him to pull the girl away, but Remus did nothing. He simply let her deepen the kiss even more. The kiss that should have belonged to him, Sirius...
Merlin’s beard, what was that all about? Sirius wasn’t even able to move; he was so shocked. How could Remus do such a thing? Why? His anger completely disappeared. Now he felt betrayed and endlessly sad. He saw Rea giving Remus a sweet smile before she departed. Remus stayed sitting there. He drank the rest of the contents of his glass and went inside. As Sirius guessed, he went to pay for the drinks. After a while he came out and hurried down Diagon Alley, Sirius didn’t know where to.
He waited until Remus disappeared from his sight. Then he Apparated back home, utterly forgetting the magazine about motorbikes he wanted to buy.
Remus was pacing the room in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for Dumbledore. Headmaster had sent him a message he wanted to meet him at seven o’clock. Remus glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. There was still one hour left.
He threw himself in an armchair. He had to admit Rea’s words had really scared him. They had scared him so much that he had already started thinking of a way to keep an eye on Sirius twenty four hours a day. He didn’t doubt for a minute Sirius was in serious danger. And it was utterly his fault! He just wanted her to stop chasing him like a rabbit. That was why he had told her he had liked guys. He had hoped she would give up if she heard she had had no chance as a girl. She shouldn’t have found out about Sirius at all!
Remus leapt back to his feet and started pacing again. How could he be so stupid? What should he do now? Perhaps Dumbledore will help him, will give him a piece of advise. He mustn’t allow Rea to hurt Sirius by all means!
He stopped pacing and looked out from the window. The sky was already dark, even though it was summer. Remus shivered. His unease was growing.
“Sirius, please, be all right,” he whispered with his forehead pressed against the window.
“Why so upset, Remus?”
Remus recoiled as a calm voice sounded in the room unexpectedly. He turned around swiftly to look in Dumbledore’s friendly face.
“I... er...” He didn’t know what to say.
“Why don’t we sit down? You can tell me the news and the thing that worries you if you like,” said Dumbledore and they sat down in the armchairs in front of the fireplace.
Remus told Dumbledore the information he had got from Rea that day.
“And that other thing?” Dumbledore asked when Remus fell silent. “I can see something’s troubling your mind.”
Remus made an anguished face.
“Rea knows about Sirius. I’m afraid she could do something to him,” he said.
Dumbledore gave him a serious look. “I see.”
“It’s my fault. I was so careless. I just wanted her to leave me alone, and she guessed I have got someone, and she was right when she said she thought it was Sirius...”
Dumbledore listened to him patiently. When Remus stopped speaking, he looked at him carefully.
“Remus, Sirius risks his life every day. As a future Auror and a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he became a target of dark wizards. So far he could handle danger excellently and I have to say he and his friends were very successful in a few cases. No, I really don’t think you should be worried about Sirius. He’s very capable, he can take care of himself,” said Dumbledore, but Remus didn’t seem to calm down.
“But...”
“No but. Sirius does what he thinks is right. The question is whether you still think you do the right thing.”
Remus felt a little ashamed. He fidgeted in his armchair, giving Dumbledore an uncertain look.
“Do you want to carry on with your task?” asked Dumbledore.
“I think it’s important, isn’t it?”
Dumbledore smiled.
“What about Sirius?” He gave Remus a penetrating look.
Remus sighed and looked the other direction to avoid those blue eyes.
“I think I have to trust him,” he said at last.
“Very well!” said Dumbledore contentedly. He stood up. “I see you next time. Good luck,” he said and left Remus alone in the room.
When Remus came back home, the house was silent. He was trying to stop thinking of the worst and ran up the stairs directly to the bedroom. He found Sirius in bed, obviously alive, and he felt endless relief.
“You’re early today,” said Sirius, looking at him.
“You’re early in bed,” replied Remus with a smile. “Don’t you feel well?” he asked when Sirius didn’t smile back.
“Yeah. I’ve got a headache. Again,” said Sirius.
Remus came up to the bed and sat down. He gently removed the hair from Sirius’s forehead. Sirius flinched as though the touch was hurting him.
“What were you doing today?” asked Remus, trying to hide his fear.
“Shopping,” answered Sirius shortly. “What about you?”
Remus smiled. “You know, the task...”
Sirius turned away, frowning. Remus tried to take his hand, but Sirius pulled it away.
“Is it so bad?” asked Remus, meaning Sirius’s headache.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you want to take something against it?”
“I already did.”
“OK.”
Remus wanted to stand up, but Sirius grabbed his hand abruptly.
“You haven’t kissed me yet,” he said.
“I wanted to, but you looked as though you didn’t feel like that,” answered Remus. “May I, then?”
“Do it.”
Remus bent low to Sirius to connect with him in a tender kiss. Sirius apparently didn’t feel well. The way he was kissing Remus was a little nervous.
“I’ll go wash myself, OK?” said Remus with a smile after their lips parted. He stood up and went to the door.
“Remus,” Sirius’s voice stopped him in a doorway. His expression was serious.
“What is it, Padfoot?” he asked, feeling a little uneasy under Sirius’s gloomy look.
“Have you ever heard calling of another werewolf? I mean howling during a full moon,” asked Sirius unexpectedly.
“No, of course not. You know after all, you’re always with me,” answered Remus, puzzled.
“Yes, you’re right...” said Sirius thoughtfully. “And, Moony,” he addressed Remus for the second time. Remus looked at him with a question in his eyes. “No matter what Dumbledore wants from you, you’re mine, don’t forget it,” continued Sirius strictly.
Remus’s heart started beating faster. Did Sirius know? No, how could he? He smiled forcedly. “I’m not your property, you know,” he said teasingly, but Sirius gave him an indignant look that made him feel confused. “I do what I’ve got to do,” he said, now in a serious tone, “and if sometimes I say or do something that could hurt you, it’s never because I want it so. It’s because I want to protect you from certain things.”
When Sirius didn’t reply, Remus left the room, this time for real.
“Your protection is really weird,” grumbled Sirius when he stayed alone. He remembered his last conversation with his dead brother and he slowly started thinking Regulus had been right. Sirius felt his trust in Remus was getting smaller. He couldn’t trust him as he had used to. Not after what Remus had done...
A month had passed, then another, and Sirius still hadn’t told Remus that he had witnessed his kiss with Rea. On the other hand, he decided to keep Remus under his watch better. He knew Remus wouldn’t have told him anything about his task even if he had asked; therefore he started paying more attention to Remus’s talking, reactions and moods. Remus was supposed to think everything was all right. He wasn’t supposed to notice Sirius was watching him carefully.
As the weeks were passing by, he got the feeling to be watched himself. He wasn’t sure, but the fact was Remus was asking him questions like where he had been, what he had been doing, whom he had met more often than usual. He tried giving him the same sort of questions, but the common answer was “the task”, which meant that it was pointless to ask more.
The whole situation annoyed him so much that every time Remus was leaving because of his task he would say “You’re mine, don’t forget.” When Sirius said it for the first time, Remus stared at him perplexed. The next few times he always frowned, but said nothing. Once, when he was obviously in a bad mood, he exploded with “I’m not your property, so stop saying it over and over again!”. But as Sirius kept saying it every single time Remus was leaving, he finally got used to it in the end. At least Sirius thought so.
“How are you, Lily?” asked Remus as he sat down in an armchair in a cosy living room in the house of the Potters in Godric’s Hollow.
“I’m soooooooo tired,” said Lily, throwing herself on a couch.
“But you look very well.”
“Thanks.” She gave Remus a broad smile. “It’s nice of you coming here to see me. James’s at school or on a hunt of dark wizards the whole day and Harry doesn’t tell me much either.”
Remus grinned. “How does it look with your studies?” he asked.
“Not very well. I think I won’t be able to finish it until Harry grows up a little,” she said, but then she smiled. “I can’t complain. I’m happier than I was ever before,” she added.
“Yes, I can see it in your eyes,” said Remus, also smiling. “Where’s Harry?”
“Sleeping upstairs. Finally. He was awake the whole night,” said Lily tiredly.
Remus grinned again. “A cheerful household, as I can see. What about James?”
“He’s perfect. He helps me a lot.”
“He should. He’s the father after all.”
“What about you? How are you?” Lily changed the topic.
Remus got serious. “I remember times when I was better.”
“I see,” Lily fixed her emerald-green eyes at him. “You aren’t getting along with Sirius very well again, are you?
“How do you know?” he asked, slightly confused.
“You look troubled. And Sirius was here yesterday. Didn’t he tell you?”
“No, he didn’t. He doesn’t tell me much lately,” said Remus bitterly.
“Interesting. He said the same about you.” Lily was staring at Remus piercingly.
“He knows very well I can’t tell him anything.”
“Are you really so sure? Aren’t you just exaggerating?” asked Lily and eyed him more carefully.
“What do you mean?” asked Remus, utterly perplexed.
“Well, I don’t know what you are hiding and why you are doing it, and I don’t need to have a slightest idea what you are doing, but Sirius does. When you don’t want to tell him anything, it’s as though you didn’t trust him and it can hurt very much,” explained Lily.
“It is not that I don’t want. I simply can’t,” protested Remus.
Lily shrugged. “You know best. But what I wanted to say was that you needn’t talk about your task or whatever it is, just talk to him, no matter what about. Let him know you care about him. How can you understand each other when you both are so secretive? Sirius likes you very much and therefore you’re the one who can hurt him the most. You don’t need to tell him everything, just tell him how much he means to you and how lucky you are that he’s yours.”
Remus was listening to her carefully. Although her words were kind, they were full of painful truth. He was terrible. He was hurting Sirius.
“... and don’t let strange girls kiss you,” said Lily suddenly.
Remus choked. “What!?”
“You know what,” she said strictly.
He turned red. “How... How come you...?”
“So is it true?” she asked sternly.
He stayed silent.
“You’re right, that’s none of my business,” she said in an uninterested tone.
“But how come you know about it?” asked Remus, curious. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest of the shock.
“Someone saw you. And that exact someone was here yesterday, as I told you a while ago.”
Now Remus turned pale. He was afraid to ask and confirm his assumption. He dreaded the answer. Lily didn’t seem wanting to help him. She was sitting there on the couch, watching him calmly.
“Sirius?” he asked quietly and felt stabbing chill taking over his heart.
Lily nodded.
“No...” Remus hid the face in his hands.
Lily gave him some time to calm down.
A baby cry from upstairs reached their ears.
“Excuse me for a while,” said Lily and left Remus alone.
She was back in a couple of minutes with a baby in her arms.
“Say hello to Moony, Harry,” she said gently to the baby.
Remus smiled as the emerald-green eyes just like Lily’s sized him up curiously.
“He likes you,” said Lily cheerfully. “Here, take him.” She handed the baby to Remus.
“No, Lily, it’s not a good idea...”
“Come on, Remus, just try it. He won’t bite you, he’s got no teeth yet.”
“I really don’t think...”
“What will you do when you have your own children?” She put Harry into Remus’s arms and he had no other choice but to hold him.
“I don’t think I’ll ever have my own children unless Sirius or I turn into a woman,” he said, watching Harry who didn’t stop gazing at him.
“Don’t be silly. Maybe Sirius will have his own children. Just let’s face it, times are dark. We don’t know what may happen tomorrow.”
Remus didn’t answer. He smiled at Harry and watched his reaction. The baby started talking to him in its babyish way, evidently trying to tell him something very important.
Lily laughed heartily.
Knocking on the front door echoed.
“It’s Alice with Neville,” said Lily and took Harry from Remus’s arms.
“I shall go home, then. I’ll try to talk to Sirius. Thank you for everything, Lily,” said Remus, standing up from the armchair.
She escorted him to the door.
“Hi, Alice,” Remus greeted a young woman with a baby in her arms standing there.
“Hello, Remus,” she greeted him back.
“See you later, then,” said Lily, smiling at him.
Remus leaned to her and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. “I hope this one is all right,” he whispered into her ear.
Lily giggled. “Take care of yourself,” she said in the end and disappeared with Alice behind the closing door.
“Where have you been?” asked Sirius sharply barely Remus barely stepped into the house. “Just don’t tell me it was the task again. I hate that word.”
“No,” said Remus calmly. “I was in Godric’s Hollow to see Lily.”
Sirius apparently didn’t expect that kind of answer. “Well... er... and how is she?”
“Happy mother. I’m supposed to say hello to you for her.”
“Thanks. Did you see Harry?” Sirius’s voice became gentle.
Remus laughed. “Yes. He told me loads of stuff, I just couldn’t understand him.”
“Come to bed,” said Sirius suddenly.
Remus took a deep breath. This was the chance to talk to Sirius as Lily had advised him.
“I’m not going,” he said determinedly. Sirius gave him a suspicious look. “Not unless you promise me not to treat me like your property anymore. Where’s your gentleness? You’ve become greedy and rough.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “So you finally noticed?”
“What do you mean?” Remus frowned. “Are you doing it on purpose?”
“Positive.”
“Why?”
“To remind you I still feel bound to you,” said Sirius firmly. “And that I expect you to be honest with me in return,” he added.
Remus felt miserable under Sirius’s accusing look.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d seen how Rea had kissed me?”
“Maybe I forgot,” said Sirius indifferently and turned to stairs.
“No, you didn’t!” cried Remus, offended.
Sirius turned back to him. “Yes, you’re right, I didn’t. Satisfied?”
The coldness in Sirius’s last words stabbed Remus right into his heart. “Sirius, I know you’re angry with me...” he tried to follow Lily’s advice one more time.
“I’ve been angry with you for a couple of months, but you’ve never noticed,” interrupted him Sirius sharply. “Every time I asked you something the answer I got was always: the task. Get stuffed with your task!”
Remus was staring at him, dejected. “Sirius, can we talk? Please...”
“No, we can’t. I don’t want to talk to you, Remus, I don’t believe you anymore.”
It was like a bad dream. Remus wasn’t able to reply.
“And one more thing,” continued Sirius. “I know you’re watching me. I don’t know why, but stop it,” he said coldly. Then he turned around and ran up the stairs to the bedroom, slamming the door behind his back.
Remus had the bad feeling he had missed his last chance long ago and he hadn’t even noticed. This was the result. The question was what they were going to do with it now...
Back to Chapter Eleven:
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/3872.html
Link to Chapter Thirteen:
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/4486.html
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is never a good thing, especially when your best friend loves a girl. But when you find out that there is another friend who may like you, may that's the reason to try out whether the relationship would last... until the death will seperate us.
Warning: Spoilers to The Goblet of Fire and The Order of the Phoenix books.
Disclaimer: I don't own the story or the characters. I'm just a fan who wants to have fun and fill the gaps ;)
Chapter Twelve: Remus’s Troubles
“Want more Firewhisky, Padfoot?”
“Sure.”
“No, Prongs! Look at him! He’s already drunk!”
“Come on, Moony, my son was born today. Here, drink it and relax. Wormtail?”
“’Course.”
James poured the alcohol into four glasses.
“Cheers!”
Remus sipped a little and stood his glass on a table while the other three drank the whole contents of their glasses.
“Moony,” James addressed him strictly.
“Sorry, Prongs. I’d better stay sober. As I can see, this idiot won’t be able to get home without my help.” Remus gave a sharp look to Sirius, who just grinned stupidly.
Remus snorted with dislike and looked the other way. Suddenly, he felt a gentle touch of lips on his neck.
“Padfoot! Behave yourself!” James told off his best friend.
“What? He needs a little bit of encouragement,” protested Sirius. “And he tastes good, anyway.”
Remus’s face turned red. He noticed Peter’s disapproving look and blushed even more.
“How is Lily, by the way?” he changed the topic.
James was shining like the morning sun. “She’s doing well, thanks. She’s excellent! I love her, my wife!”
The four of them carried on with their activity until late night hours. Because Peter was too drunk to be able to get home, James offered him to stay in Godric’s Hollow, and Remus, who was the only one sober, had to take care of giggling Sirius and get him home by himself. He put him to bed and Sirius fell asleep immediately.
The next day’s morning was cruel. Instead of a good morning greeting Sirius got a strict, frowned glare from Remus.
“How do you feel?
“As though my head was about to explode,” said Sirius with a painful expression in his face.
Remus considered it was a sufficient punishment for him and decided not to reproach him any further.
“I’ll go out. Probably the fresh air will help me,” said Sirius and walked out to the garden. He sat down on the grass in front of his motorbike.
Remus was watching him for a while, and then he started preparing breakfast. He was decided to make Sirius eat even if he didn’t want anything. From time to time he looked at him. Sirius, sitting in the garden, was waving his wand lazily as though he was trying to find a spell that would get him rid of the headache.
Suddenly, Remus heard the sounds of a starting engine. That can’t be! He doesn’t really want to go for a ride, does he? he thought and ran to the garden.
What he saw was more than he had expected. Sirius didn’t go for a common ride - he went for a flight!
“Sirius!” he cried, scared, as Sirius took off, shouting cheerfully. “Come back!”
But Sirius didn’t seem to hear him. He was too happy to pay any attention to Remus standing on the ground, watching him anxiously. After a while he disappeared from Remus’s sight. It took him nearly half an hour to come back. Remus was still standing in the garden, impatiently waiting for his return.
“I did it, Moony! It flies! The motorbike flies!” he was shouting merrily, but Remus didn’t seem impressed.
“You idiot!” he yelled angrily. “Whining what a horrible headache you’ve got and then you go for a flight! You idiot, you could hurt yourself!”
Sirius was eyeing him, puzzled. “Moony?”
“Have you got the slightest idea how you scared me? Just don’t tell me you feel better now!” Remus went on furiously.
“I do,” said Sirius sheepishly. “I feel much better. The cool air helped me against the headache.”
“You...!” started Remus, but he was already out of words, so he finally fell silent, frowning at Sirius.
“Were you really so scared?” asked Sirius warily.
“Of course I was!” snapped Remus.
“Are you angry with me?”
Remus just snorted. Sirius smiled lightly and came closer to him.
“Thank you,” he said softly, stroking Remus’s cheek.
“Idiot!” Remus barked, turned around and walked into the house.
Sirius followed him quietly. He ate obediently the breakfast prepared by Remus, helped him wash the dishes and tidy up the bedroom. Meanwhile Remus stopped frowning at him, so Sirius found his courage to talk to him again.
“Moony, don’t you want to go for a ride with me?” he asked hesitantly.
Remus stopped making the bed and looked out from the window. “Maybe. Once. Not today...”
“Why?” Sirius asked, disappointed.
Remus looked at him sadly. “How do you feel? Do you really feel better?”
Sirius nodded.
“In that case, I need to go. I’m sorry, Padfoot. Maybe next time.” Remus came up to Sirius, giving him a small kiss.
“That Dumbledore’s task again?” asked Sirius.
“Yes. Sorry.” Remus went to the door.
“Will you come back in the evening?” asked Sirius hopefully.
“I don’t know. I’ll try.”
“I’ll be waiting for you.”
Remus smiled slightly. “Don’t forget to do the shopping you promised,” he said before he departed.
Remus was staring at a pretty black-haired girl in front of him.
“Look, Rea,” he started slowly as though he was afraid of her reaction. “I know what you want from me, but I can’t give it to you. Do you understand?”
“You’ve already got someone?” asked Rea. “Is she of our kind?”
“No, that’s not the point,” said Remus and reached for a glass standing in front of him. “I don’t like girls, that’s all.”
Silence.
Rea straightened up in her chair, gazing at Remus, who was sitting with her at a table in front of Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour in Diagon Alley. The place became quite dangerous, but as for two young werewolves, it was safer than for ordinary wizards.
“You like guys?” she asked at last, rather confused.
Remus gave her a mysterious smile and sipped from the golden beverage in his glass.
“Have you got a boyfriend, then?”
Remus put the glass back on the table. “That’s none of your business.”
“I suppose you have,” said Rea provocatively.
“Rea,” Remus addressed her in a strict voice. “Don’t you dare hurt people around me or I’ll make you pay for it in a very cruel way and I won’t care that you are Greyback’s favourite,” he said coldly.
She gave him an insolent look. “Oh, come on! What do you think about me?”
“I know you. You are already thinking how to eliminate your potential rival,” said Remus and pierced her with his glare. “I warn you one more time: don’t you even dare to touch anyone around me. They all belong to me.”
Rea gave him a mischievous smile. She stood up and came closer to him.
“You are paying today,” she said loftily. She bent to Remus and looked into his eyes. “You were right, I was really thinking of eliminating your boyfriend.” She grinned sinisterly. “I’m not used to be rejected. It truly hurts, you know. As for today, I forgive you. But, Remus, you’ll become mine one day, willing or not. And...” she bent even lower, “... I’m sure your boyfriend is that sexy black-haired bloke with whom I met you a couple of months ago,” she whispered darkly into his ear. She smiled at him one more time and pressed her soft lips on Remus’s mouth.
His first thought was to shove her away indignantly, but her violent penetrating into his mouth reminded him what she was capable of and he really didn’t wish to get a bloody greeting from her engraved into Sirius’s torn body. Because of that he endured her greedy kiss.
When she finally straightened up, she gave him a triumphant smile.
“You’ve understood as I can see. Clever boy,” she said, satisfied. Then her expression changed. She looked like a sweet doll happily in love. “See you later, darling,” she said loudly in a singing voice, turned around and walked away.
Sirius went to Diagon Alley to do the shopping that he had promised to Remus. They were already short of food. They usually went together, or the one who had free time went on his own. As for today, it was Sirius.
He was just walking to the Leaky Cauldron in order to pass through to Muggle London. He wanted to go to a Muggle newsagent’s and buy a Muggle magazine about motorbikes. He pulled out Muggle money from the pocket. He looked at it and shook his head hopelessly. He really didn’t understand it. Too many various types of coins and even those papers called notes - he couldn’t understand them at all. Fortunately, Remus understood Muggle currency much better and he always helped Sirius handle a deal or he simply gave him an exact amount of needed coins. Like today.
He put the money back into the pocket and looked around. Diagon Alley had rapidly changed in the last two years. The change itself wasn’t in the appearance but in its gloomy atmosphere. And from day to day it was getting worse.
Sirius noticed a young couple sitting at a table in front of the Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour. He wouldn’t have paid any attention to them if they hadn’t been the only ones sitting there. In the next second Sirius’s stomach made a double somersault when he recognized both persons. What the hell was Remus doing there with Rea!?
He stepped back into the shadow of the nearest building, watching his friend and the werewolf girl in a quite interesting conversation as it appeared to him. He would have given anything to be able to hear what they were talking about. Remus must have said something surprising, because Rea looked astonished. It took her some time to speak again. Meanwhile Remus was watching her, slowly drinking from his glass in a very suspiciously looking way. He was flirting with her!
Sirius felt anger rising in him. When Rea finally found her lost speech, Remus’s expression got serious again. He answered her something, but it seemed he just amused her. She stood up and came up to him. She bent low to him; their faces were only inches from each other. Sirius held his breath as she bent lower, but she just said something into Remus’s ear, obviously satisfied with herself.
What was that girl up to? thought Sirius angrily.
What happened then took his breath away. With widened eyes he was watching Rea in a deep kiss with Remus. His Remus. How dared she!? The anger he felt turned into fury. He could see Remus’s surprise and he expected him to pull the girl away, but Remus did nothing. He simply let her deepen the kiss even more. The kiss that should have belonged to him, Sirius...
Merlin’s beard, what was that all about? Sirius wasn’t even able to move; he was so shocked. How could Remus do such a thing? Why? His anger completely disappeared. Now he felt betrayed and endlessly sad. He saw Rea giving Remus a sweet smile before she departed. Remus stayed sitting there. He drank the rest of the contents of his glass and went inside. As Sirius guessed, he went to pay for the drinks. After a while he came out and hurried down Diagon Alley, Sirius didn’t know where to.
He waited until Remus disappeared from his sight. Then he Apparated back home, utterly forgetting the magazine about motorbikes he wanted to buy.
Remus was pacing the room in the Leaky Cauldron, waiting for Dumbledore. Headmaster had sent him a message he wanted to meet him at seven o’clock. Remus glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. There was still one hour left.
He threw himself in an armchair. He had to admit Rea’s words had really scared him. They had scared him so much that he had already started thinking of a way to keep an eye on Sirius twenty four hours a day. He didn’t doubt for a minute Sirius was in serious danger. And it was utterly his fault! He just wanted her to stop chasing him like a rabbit. That was why he had told her he had liked guys. He had hoped she would give up if she heard she had had no chance as a girl. She shouldn’t have found out about Sirius at all!
Remus leapt back to his feet and started pacing again. How could he be so stupid? What should he do now? Perhaps Dumbledore will help him, will give him a piece of advise. He mustn’t allow Rea to hurt Sirius by all means!
He stopped pacing and looked out from the window. The sky was already dark, even though it was summer. Remus shivered. His unease was growing.
“Sirius, please, be all right,” he whispered with his forehead pressed against the window.
“Why so upset, Remus?”
Remus recoiled as a calm voice sounded in the room unexpectedly. He turned around swiftly to look in Dumbledore’s friendly face.
“I... er...” He didn’t know what to say.
“Why don’t we sit down? You can tell me the news and the thing that worries you if you like,” said Dumbledore and they sat down in the armchairs in front of the fireplace.
Remus told Dumbledore the information he had got from Rea that day.
“And that other thing?” Dumbledore asked when Remus fell silent. “I can see something’s troubling your mind.”
Remus made an anguished face.
“Rea knows about Sirius. I’m afraid she could do something to him,” he said.
Dumbledore gave him a serious look. “I see.”
“It’s my fault. I was so careless. I just wanted her to leave me alone, and she guessed I have got someone, and she was right when she said she thought it was Sirius...”
Dumbledore listened to him patiently. When Remus stopped speaking, he looked at him carefully.
“Remus, Sirius risks his life every day. As a future Auror and a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he became a target of dark wizards. So far he could handle danger excellently and I have to say he and his friends were very successful in a few cases. No, I really don’t think you should be worried about Sirius. He’s very capable, he can take care of himself,” said Dumbledore, but Remus didn’t seem to calm down.
“But...”
“No but. Sirius does what he thinks is right. The question is whether you still think you do the right thing.”
Remus felt a little ashamed. He fidgeted in his armchair, giving Dumbledore an uncertain look.
“Do you want to carry on with your task?” asked Dumbledore.
“I think it’s important, isn’t it?”
Dumbledore smiled.
“What about Sirius?” He gave Remus a penetrating look.
Remus sighed and looked the other direction to avoid those blue eyes.
“I think I have to trust him,” he said at last.
“Very well!” said Dumbledore contentedly. He stood up. “I see you next time. Good luck,” he said and left Remus alone in the room.
When Remus came back home, the house was silent. He was trying to stop thinking of the worst and ran up the stairs directly to the bedroom. He found Sirius in bed, obviously alive, and he felt endless relief.
“You’re early today,” said Sirius, looking at him.
“You’re early in bed,” replied Remus with a smile. “Don’t you feel well?” he asked when Sirius didn’t smile back.
“Yeah. I’ve got a headache. Again,” said Sirius.
Remus came up to the bed and sat down. He gently removed the hair from Sirius’s forehead. Sirius flinched as though the touch was hurting him.
“What were you doing today?” asked Remus, trying to hide his fear.
“Shopping,” answered Sirius shortly. “What about you?”
Remus smiled. “You know, the task...”
Sirius turned away, frowning. Remus tried to take his hand, but Sirius pulled it away.
“Is it so bad?” asked Remus, meaning Sirius’s headache.
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you want to take something against it?”
“I already did.”
“OK.”
Remus wanted to stand up, but Sirius grabbed his hand abruptly.
“You haven’t kissed me yet,” he said.
“I wanted to, but you looked as though you didn’t feel like that,” answered Remus. “May I, then?”
“Do it.”
Remus bent low to Sirius to connect with him in a tender kiss. Sirius apparently didn’t feel well. The way he was kissing Remus was a little nervous.
“I’ll go wash myself, OK?” said Remus with a smile after their lips parted. He stood up and went to the door.
“Remus,” Sirius’s voice stopped him in a doorway. His expression was serious.
“What is it, Padfoot?” he asked, feeling a little uneasy under Sirius’s gloomy look.
“Have you ever heard calling of another werewolf? I mean howling during a full moon,” asked Sirius unexpectedly.
“No, of course not. You know after all, you’re always with me,” answered Remus, puzzled.
“Yes, you’re right...” said Sirius thoughtfully. “And, Moony,” he addressed Remus for the second time. Remus looked at him with a question in his eyes. “No matter what Dumbledore wants from you, you’re mine, don’t forget it,” continued Sirius strictly.
Remus’s heart started beating faster. Did Sirius know? No, how could he? He smiled forcedly. “I’m not your property, you know,” he said teasingly, but Sirius gave him an indignant look that made him feel confused. “I do what I’ve got to do,” he said, now in a serious tone, “and if sometimes I say or do something that could hurt you, it’s never because I want it so. It’s because I want to protect you from certain things.”
When Sirius didn’t reply, Remus left the room, this time for real.
“Your protection is really weird,” grumbled Sirius when he stayed alone. He remembered his last conversation with his dead brother and he slowly started thinking Regulus had been right. Sirius felt his trust in Remus was getting smaller. He couldn’t trust him as he had used to. Not after what Remus had done...
A month had passed, then another, and Sirius still hadn’t told Remus that he had witnessed his kiss with Rea. On the other hand, he decided to keep Remus under his watch better. He knew Remus wouldn’t have told him anything about his task even if he had asked; therefore he started paying more attention to Remus’s talking, reactions and moods. Remus was supposed to think everything was all right. He wasn’t supposed to notice Sirius was watching him carefully.
As the weeks were passing by, he got the feeling to be watched himself. He wasn’t sure, but the fact was Remus was asking him questions like where he had been, what he had been doing, whom he had met more often than usual. He tried giving him the same sort of questions, but the common answer was “the task”, which meant that it was pointless to ask more.
The whole situation annoyed him so much that every time Remus was leaving because of his task he would say “You’re mine, don’t forget.” When Sirius said it for the first time, Remus stared at him perplexed. The next few times he always frowned, but said nothing. Once, when he was obviously in a bad mood, he exploded with “I’m not your property, so stop saying it over and over again!”. But as Sirius kept saying it every single time Remus was leaving, he finally got used to it in the end. At least Sirius thought so.
“How are you, Lily?” asked Remus as he sat down in an armchair in a cosy living room in the house of the Potters in Godric’s Hollow.
“I’m soooooooo tired,” said Lily, throwing herself on a couch.
“But you look very well.”
“Thanks.” She gave Remus a broad smile. “It’s nice of you coming here to see me. James’s at school or on a hunt of dark wizards the whole day and Harry doesn’t tell me much either.”
Remus grinned. “How does it look with your studies?” he asked.
“Not very well. I think I won’t be able to finish it until Harry grows up a little,” she said, but then she smiled. “I can’t complain. I’m happier than I was ever before,” she added.
“Yes, I can see it in your eyes,” said Remus, also smiling. “Where’s Harry?”
“Sleeping upstairs. Finally. He was awake the whole night,” said Lily tiredly.
Remus grinned again. “A cheerful household, as I can see. What about James?”
“He’s perfect. He helps me a lot.”
“He should. He’s the father after all.”
“What about you? How are you?” Lily changed the topic.
Remus got serious. “I remember times when I was better.”
“I see,” Lily fixed her emerald-green eyes at him. “You aren’t getting along with Sirius very well again, are you?
“How do you know?” he asked, slightly confused.
“You look troubled. And Sirius was here yesterday. Didn’t he tell you?”
“No, he didn’t. He doesn’t tell me much lately,” said Remus bitterly.
“Interesting. He said the same about you.” Lily was staring at Remus piercingly.
“He knows very well I can’t tell him anything.”
“Are you really so sure? Aren’t you just exaggerating?” asked Lily and eyed him more carefully.
“What do you mean?” asked Remus, utterly perplexed.
“Well, I don’t know what you are hiding and why you are doing it, and I don’t need to have a slightest idea what you are doing, but Sirius does. When you don’t want to tell him anything, it’s as though you didn’t trust him and it can hurt very much,” explained Lily.
“It is not that I don’t want. I simply can’t,” protested Remus.
Lily shrugged. “You know best. But what I wanted to say was that you needn’t talk about your task or whatever it is, just talk to him, no matter what about. Let him know you care about him. How can you understand each other when you both are so secretive? Sirius likes you very much and therefore you’re the one who can hurt him the most. You don’t need to tell him everything, just tell him how much he means to you and how lucky you are that he’s yours.”
Remus was listening to her carefully. Although her words were kind, they were full of painful truth. He was terrible. He was hurting Sirius.
“... and don’t let strange girls kiss you,” said Lily suddenly.
Remus choked. “What!?”
“You know what,” she said strictly.
He turned red. “How... How come you...?”
“So is it true?” she asked sternly.
He stayed silent.
“You’re right, that’s none of my business,” she said in an uninterested tone.
“But how come you know about it?” asked Remus, curious. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest of the shock.
“Someone saw you. And that exact someone was here yesterday, as I told you a while ago.”
Now Remus turned pale. He was afraid to ask and confirm his assumption. He dreaded the answer. Lily didn’t seem wanting to help him. She was sitting there on the couch, watching him calmly.
“Sirius?” he asked quietly and felt stabbing chill taking over his heart.
Lily nodded.
“No...” Remus hid the face in his hands.
Lily gave him some time to calm down.
A baby cry from upstairs reached their ears.
“Excuse me for a while,” said Lily and left Remus alone.
She was back in a couple of minutes with a baby in her arms.
“Say hello to Moony, Harry,” she said gently to the baby.
Remus smiled as the emerald-green eyes just like Lily’s sized him up curiously.
“He likes you,” said Lily cheerfully. “Here, take him.” She handed the baby to Remus.
“No, Lily, it’s not a good idea...”
“Come on, Remus, just try it. He won’t bite you, he’s got no teeth yet.”
“I really don’t think...”
“What will you do when you have your own children?” She put Harry into Remus’s arms and he had no other choice but to hold him.
“I don’t think I’ll ever have my own children unless Sirius or I turn into a woman,” he said, watching Harry who didn’t stop gazing at him.
“Don’t be silly. Maybe Sirius will have his own children. Just let’s face it, times are dark. We don’t know what may happen tomorrow.”
Remus didn’t answer. He smiled at Harry and watched his reaction. The baby started talking to him in its babyish way, evidently trying to tell him something very important.
Lily laughed heartily.
Knocking on the front door echoed.
“It’s Alice with Neville,” said Lily and took Harry from Remus’s arms.
“I shall go home, then. I’ll try to talk to Sirius. Thank you for everything, Lily,” said Remus, standing up from the armchair.
She escorted him to the door.
“Hi, Alice,” Remus greeted a young woman with a baby in her arms standing there.
“Hello, Remus,” she greeted him back.
“See you later, then,” said Lily, smiling at him.
Remus leaned to her and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. “I hope this one is all right,” he whispered into her ear.
Lily giggled. “Take care of yourself,” she said in the end and disappeared with Alice behind the closing door.
“Where have you been?” asked Sirius sharply barely Remus barely stepped into the house. “Just don’t tell me it was the task again. I hate that word.”
“No,” said Remus calmly. “I was in Godric’s Hollow to see Lily.”
Sirius apparently didn’t expect that kind of answer. “Well... er... and how is she?”
“Happy mother. I’m supposed to say hello to you for her.”
“Thanks. Did you see Harry?” Sirius’s voice became gentle.
Remus laughed. “Yes. He told me loads of stuff, I just couldn’t understand him.”
“Come to bed,” said Sirius suddenly.
Remus took a deep breath. This was the chance to talk to Sirius as Lily had advised him.
“I’m not going,” he said determinedly. Sirius gave him a suspicious look. “Not unless you promise me not to treat me like your property anymore. Where’s your gentleness? You’ve become greedy and rough.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “So you finally noticed?”
“What do you mean?” Remus frowned. “Are you doing it on purpose?”
“Positive.”
“Why?”
“To remind you I still feel bound to you,” said Sirius firmly. “And that I expect you to be honest with me in return,” he added.
Remus felt miserable under Sirius’s accusing look.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d seen how Rea had kissed me?”
“Maybe I forgot,” said Sirius indifferently and turned to stairs.
“No, you didn’t!” cried Remus, offended.
Sirius turned back to him. “Yes, you’re right, I didn’t. Satisfied?”
The coldness in Sirius’s last words stabbed Remus right into his heart. “Sirius, I know you’re angry with me...” he tried to follow Lily’s advice one more time.
“I’ve been angry with you for a couple of months, but you’ve never noticed,” interrupted him Sirius sharply. “Every time I asked you something the answer I got was always: the task. Get stuffed with your task!”
Remus was staring at him, dejected. “Sirius, can we talk? Please...”
“No, we can’t. I don’t want to talk to you, Remus, I don’t believe you anymore.”
It was like a bad dream. Remus wasn’t able to reply.
“And one more thing,” continued Sirius. “I know you’re watching me. I don’t know why, but stop it,” he said coldly. Then he turned around and ran up the stairs to the bedroom, slamming the door behind his back.
Remus had the bad feeling he had missed his last chance long ago and he hadn’t even noticed. This was the result. The question was what they were going to do with it now...
Back to Chapter Eleven:
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/3872.html
Link to Chapter Thirteen:
http://yukiowin.livejournal.com/4486.html