My reflection - chapter 13, Ruki/Kai, Uruha/Reita
Author: yukigafuru
Title: My reflection
Chapters:14/?
Pairing: Ruki/Kai, Uruha/Reita
Warnings: lots of angst, manxman love
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I am not connected to the real persons. This is just a figment of my imagination and I don't make any money nor profit in any way out of this (well, except gathering your love that is).
Summary: They are successful but are they really happy? Are there shadows lurking in the dark, just waiting for a chance to come out? What is happening with Ruki and how can Kai help? And what will this challenge for the two of them bring?
Chapter 13
So while playing the guitar, eyes closed, getting lost in the music, he tried to make some sense out of his life. Was he lonely? He had come to realize that the answer to that was affirmative. Seeing his friends so happy in love certainly made it harder. And he suspected that Ruki and Kai were on their way there too. It seemed like everyone around him was able to find love, but him. He was a little envious. But wasn’t it his fault after all? He had had plenty of chances even before Ruki’s intervention and still that sparkle was just never there. He at least knew how to discern between love and desire and he knew that simple desire was not what he needed. But then what? What exactly did his heart want from him? Why couldn’t his heart pick one of those beautiful women? They’d surely make great life companions. He’d probably never be bored but he wouldn’t be completely happy either. Why? He had the feeling that it was something so simple, so clearly obvious that even a fool could see it and still him, the king of fools wasn’t able to tell what.
The guitar was mirroring every single emotion he felt: sadness, expectation, loneliness, need, sorrow, despair... He wasn’t playing anymore, it seemed as if the guitar had become his very heart, screaming out to the world to listen and all Aoi could do was lower his head and hear it out. And then, arms were wrapping themselves around him from behind, offering warmth and soothe, and for a fraction of a second Aoi couldn’t help himself and leaned in and then the guitar stopped and the spell was over. Aoi jumped up from the couch and faced the intruder.
At first he didn’t recognize the golden locks, deep brown eyes, slender frame, smirk… Oh wait, he knew that smirk. They weren’t friends and were barely acquaintances. They had passed each other here and there during magazine photo shoots or TV interviews, seen each other at a few parties and been properly introduced of course. But that was it. It certainly didn’t qualify for a relationship where Sakito-san would wrap his arms around him from behind. He was disturbed from his thoughts by the very man standing in front of him.
“I was just wondering who was disturbing the peace and quiet around here and what do you know, I find a little birdie all depressed and shivering. What can one do but try to stop the tears from falling?” He said, that annoying smirk still on his face. And still, there was something in his eyes Aoi couldn’t quite place.
“Well, I do apologize for disturbing the princess’s sleep.” Aoi wasn’t blind and his comment had a double meaning since he had to admit to himself that the other man looked lovely. The clothes he had on for the photo shoot certainly made him look even more androgynous, with all the frills and laces. The make up was delicate too, accentuating his eyes and lips.
“Well, at least I’m not wearing a skirt.” Touché. Aoi had forgotten about his own outfit. He had planned a counterattack but wasn’t given the chance to strike when Sakito surprised him with a question. “Are you ok?”
“Huh? Why shouldn’t I be?” He knew Sakito was the leader of his band and had heard rumors about him also being in charge of producing their songs or something like that, being quite responsible and everything but the smirking image from earlier had completely erased that knowledge and only now, that the smirk was gone and the other’s eyes were swimming with concern was it that Aoi remembered everything.
“You know, I love the way a guitar screams and cries for you. Most people think that’s just playing, talent or something. They never realize that behind a cool exterior might just lie a crying soul”, Sakito said.
Reacting to that in any way would just reveal his weakness further, weakness that the other guitarist had pinpointed already. Aoi wished he had gone home that night. He was saved from having to reply though.
“But no matter how much I love a guitar’s sound, when the person playing it has just no talent at all, I just have to step in and save the day from turning into a disaster.”
Aoi knew the other meant it as a joke, so he played along. It felt nice, the playful atmosphere between them, playful but still meaningful.
“Yeah well, this day turned into a disaster the moment we crossed paths, apparently. So how about we try and make it better and disband this little reunion?”
“Want to go some other place?” Sakito offered.
“No, thanks, but I have practice in the morning and I really don’t know you that well to give myself to you on our first date.”
“How about I take you on the second though?”
“We’ll see.”
And with that Aoi and his guitar were out of the room. Only when he got home did Aoi realize he could still feel the comfort those arms had offered him and still hear the concern in Sakito’s voice and the sparkle in his eyes. Damn that Ruki for putting ideas into his head!
The weekend passed in a blink of an eye and Monday finally came, Ruki’s last chance to win the game. Aoi really doubted that Ruki could find a woman to top the three he had had the pleasure of meeting before. Ruki might be stubborn and not admit it but he wouldn’t be able to find him his soul mate. So that Monday he greeted Ruki with a confident smile and the two of them went to the same restaurant. The food was good and the atmosphere nice so Aoi wasn’t really complaining about the lack of variety. When they got in, Aoi had to stop in the entrance for a second and see if his eyes weren’t mistaking him. Nope, they weren’t and his grin was long gone.
The reason for his shock was the person standing at the table Ruki headed towards (the same table he had reserved every Monday night until then). Not only did he know the person but it wasn’t a girl and it wasn’t someone he would much rather think about or get to know at the moment and still, there he was, Sakito, smiling at him. Why was he smiling in the first place?
Oh and Ruki’s eyes were sparkling and his lips formed the most adorable contented smile. Yeap, he knew his business. He hadn’t expected the two of them to know each other more than by sight but Aoi and Sakito’s reactions certainly proved different. Aoi was in for the adventure of his life.
After he had finally managed to get a grip of himself, Aoi approached the table.
“So, Aoi-chan, I gather you know Sakito-san.” Ruki started.
“Aoi-chan?” Sakito said trying to hide his laughter and being very bad at it.
“Oops. It’s my pet name towards him.”
Aoi just sank further into the chair. The situation was definitely nightmarish. There was no way of putting it differently.
“So, Sakito-san, how come you’re here? Ruki-kun must have told you what the purpose of this… meeting is.”
“You mean date.” Aoi gulped. “Yeap, he told me everything and I don’t mind helping. You see, I’ve been searching for the right person myself. And you got me intrigued. But to be honest, since Ruki-kun asked me, I would have done it anyway.”
“You do realize we’re both men?”
“Why no, I hadn’t noticed when I embraced you the other time…” Sakito said while smirking. Aoi was blushing madly. Ruki immediately whiffed the truth.
“Embraced him? Just how exactly do you know each other?”
“Oh well, you see, he was crying his heart out in the dressing room the other day… where we had our photo shoots and…”
“I was not crying my heart out! Don’t distort the truth.” Aoi was quite plainly ignored. Boy, the man in front of him pissed him off.
“And…without him realizing I walked up to him and embraced him from behind. He actually leaned into the embrace for a bit.” Ruki was ecstatic. This was better than imagined. It was his cue to get out of there.
“Okay, Sakito-san, then I’ll leave you two alone to get to know each other. And Aoi-chan, you do know it’s against the rules to run away, right?”
Aoi just nodded.
“Good. I’m off then. Sakito-san, go easy on him will you?”
“Sure, Ruki-kun, don’t worry. I’ll be as gentle as possible and prepare him thoroughly.”
Ruki almost hopped out of the restaurant out of pure joy while Aoi was damning the day he had been born. The man had said that statement on purpose of course. The connotations just put red on Aoi’s cheeks and he couldn’t seem to get rid of it. Nor did he seem able to form a word, so he was just staring at the tablecloth.
“Is there something more interesting about the table than me?”
“A lot of things actually.”
“Oh, come on, lighten up a bit, we’re here to have fun after all. It’s not like you need to fall desperately in love with me… Unless you want to of course.”
How come Sakito was the one leading the conversation and making the jokes? For crying out loud, Aoi was the buffoon there.
“How about we order?” Aoi managed.
“Sure, what would you like?”
“It’s not like you’re buying or that I’m the girl here so stop with the innuendoes ok?”
“But Aoi-chan, you are the girl.” Aoi’s growl only amused him further. There was just something about the raven-haired guitarist that made him act that way, all childish and prankster-like. The only one that had been able to have that effect on him was Yomi and Yomi could certainly not be considered Sakito-boyfriend material so Aoi making him feel so at ease surely opened up nice perspectives. He hadn’t lied earlier; he was interested in Aoi.
“You do know I am only doing this because I lost a bet with Ruki. And, I am not gay.”
“Neither am I.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I just don’t really care about the gender of my partner. I go out with both guys and girls but until now let’s just say I haven’t found the one to settle down next to.”
Aoi was a bit interested. He wouldn’t admit it though.
“Why?” he dared to ask.
Sakito was again his calm, collected self.
“Because no matter how wonderful they are, there’s always something missing.”
So he did understand Aoi, at least at some level. Aoi was able to relax a bit. Maybe this whole thing could not turn out a complete disaster after all.
“You know, you’re the only person, apart from one of my best friends, that is able to make me act so childish and joke so much.”
“Jeez, I wish I had been spared that talent… For me, it’s quite the opposite actually. Usually I’m the joker in the Gazette but with you it just doesn’t feel right. You make me feel as if I’m not quite myself anymore.”
“Then who are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then what are you searching for? You’re not just hopping on for the ride in accepting Ruki-kun’s conditions, you’re obviously looking for something. What?”
“To get rid of the loneliness, maybe.”
“I see. Then shouldn’t that be easy? I bet there are plenty of people who’d be more than happy to be at your side.”
“I tried that. It just feels more lonely.”
“You know that song you played before?”
“Oh, I was just strumming the guitar, it wasn’t really a song.”
“I know what it feels to play that. That’s why I wanted to comfort you. I know how loneliness and tiredness feels. How about we feel each other then?”
Damn, Aoi had finally started thinking Sakito was serious again and here he went with another one of those phrases. It did lighten up the mood though.
“You’d only get me to feel you when hell freezes over.”
Aoi was surprised that there was no come back. Sakito just called over the waiter and then started giving him the order. And then…
“Oh, and a Hell freeze, please.”
“A what, sir?”
“Oh, it’s a cocktail. Even if you don’t have it on the menu, if I told you how to make it, could you please indulge me? I’m dying for my lover to try it.”
Aoi would have been mad if he hadn’t been so surprised. Sakito walked over to the bar, together with the waiter, talked with the bartender, obviously giving him instructions and then was prancing towards Aoi’s table again, a reddish cocktail in his hand.
“There you go. A Hell freeze. I must say, it’s one of my favorites.”
“You’re not just making this up?”
“Just try it.”
Aoi tried it. It was spicy and hot at the base and yet, as soon as it passed your throat it left behind a cooling sensation. Hotness followed by humidity and cold. Yeap, it certainly fitted the name. It was also sweet yet peppery at the same time, and Aoi wondered what was in it.
“It’s delicious. How do you make it?”
“I’ll trade that knowledge for a kiss.”
“Huh? You’re joking, right?”
“Nope. And you did say you’d allow me to feel you when hell freezes over. Are you going to go back on your word, Aoi-chan?”
A/N: I would have put it up sooner but I wasn't at home and since I had promised to put it today, here it is. Is the mystery revealed? Or is it just the beginning of Aoi's adventure? I'm sure you have a pretty good idea. And I want you to tell me about it. Waiting for the love.
Title: My reflection
Chapters:14/?
Pairing: Ruki/Kai, Uruha/Reita
Warnings: lots of angst, manxman love
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: I am not connected to the real persons. This is just a figment of my imagination and I don't make any money nor profit in any way out of this (well, except gathering your love that is).
Summary: They are successful but are they really happy? Are there shadows lurking in the dark, just waiting for a chance to come out? What is happening with Ruki and how can Kai help? And what will this challenge for the two of them bring?
Chapter 13
So while playing the guitar, eyes closed, getting lost in the music, he tried to make some sense out of his life. Was he lonely? He had come to realize that the answer to that was affirmative. Seeing his friends so happy in love certainly made it harder. And he suspected that Ruki and Kai were on their way there too. It seemed like everyone around him was able to find love, but him. He was a little envious. But wasn’t it his fault after all? He had had plenty of chances even before Ruki’s intervention and still that sparkle was just never there. He at least knew how to discern between love and desire and he knew that simple desire was not what he needed. But then what? What exactly did his heart want from him? Why couldn’t his heart pick one of those beautiful women? They’d surely make great life companions. He’d probably never be bored but he wouldn’t be completely happy either. Why? He had the feeling that it was something so simple, so clearly obvious that even a fool could see it and still him, the king of fools wasn’t able to tell what.
The guitar was mirroring every single emotion he felt: sadness, expectation, loneliness, need, sorrow, despair... He wasn’t playing anymore, it seemed as if the guitar had become his very heart, screaming out to the world to listen and all Aoi could do was lower his head and hear it out. And then, arms were wrapping themselves around him from behind, offering warmth and soothe, and for a fraction of a second Aoi couldn’t help himself and leaned in and then the guitar stopped and the spell was over. Aoi jumped up from the couch and faced the intruder.
At first he didn’t recognize the golden locks, deep brown eyes, slender frame, smirk… Oh wait, he knew that smirk. They weren’t friends and were barely acquaintances. They had passed each other here and there during magazine photo shoots or TV interviews, seen each other at a few parties and been properly introduced of course. But that was it. It certainly didn’t qualify for a relationship where Sakito-san would wrap his arms around him from behind. He was disturbed from his thoughts by the very man standing in front of him.
“I was just wondering who was disturbing the peace and quiet around here and what do you know, I find a little birdie all depressed and shivering. What can one do but try to stop the tears from falling?” He said, that annoying smirk still on his face. And still, there was something in his eyes Aoi couldn’t quite place.
“Well, I do apologize for disturbing the princess’s sleep.” Aoi wasn’t blind and his comment had a double meaning since he had to admit to himself that the other man looked lovely. The clothes he had on for the photo shoot certainly made him look even more androgynous, with all the frills and laces. The make up was delicate too, accentuating his eyes and lips.
“Well, at least I’m not wearing a skirt.” Touché. Aoi had forgotten about his own outfit. He had planned a counterattack but wasn’t given the chance to strike when Sakito surprised him with a question. “Are you ok?”
“Huh? Why shouldn’t I be?” He knew Sakito was the leader of his band and had heard rumors about him also being in charge of producing their songs or something like that, being quite responsible and everything but the smirking image from earlier had completely erased that knowledge and only now, that the smirk was gone and the other’s eyes were swimming with concern was it that Aoi remembered everything.
“You know, I love the way a guitar screams and cries for you. Most people think that’s just playing, talent or something. They never realize that behind a cool exterior might just lie a crying soul”, Sakito said.
Reacting to that in any way would just reveal his weakness further, weakness that the other guitarist had pinpointed already. Aoi wished he had gone home that night. He was saved from having to reply though.
“But no matter how much I love a guitar’s sound, when the person playing it has just no talent at all, I just have to step in and save the day from turning into a disaster.”
Aoi knew the other meant it as a joke, so he played along. It felt nice, the playful atmosphere between them, playful but still meaningful.
“Yeah well, this day turned into a disaster the moment we crossed paths, apparently. So how about we try and make it better and disband this little reunion?”
“Want to go some other place?” Sakito offered.
“No, thanks, but I have practice in the morning and I really don’t know you that well to give myself to you on our first date.”
“How about I take you on the second though?”
“We’ll see.”
And with that Aoi and his guitar were out of the room. Only when he got home did Aoi realize he could still feel the comfort those arms had offered him and still hear the concern in Sakito’s voice and the sparkle in his eyes. Damn that Ruki for putting ideas into his head!
The weekend passed in a blink of an eye and Monday finally came, Ruki’s last chance to win the game. Aoi really doubted that Ruki could find a woman to top the three he had had the pleasure of meeting before. Ruki might be stubborn and not admit it but he wouldn’t be able to find him his soul mate. So that Monday he greeted Ruki with a confident smile and the two of them went to the same restaurant. The food was good and the atmosphere nice so Aoi wasn’t really complaining about the lack of variety. When they got in, Aoi had to stop in the entrance for a second and see if his eyes weren’t mistaking him. Nope, they weren’t and his grin was long gone.
The reason for his shock was the person standing at the table Ruki headed towards (the same table he had reserved every Monday night until then). Not only did he know the person but it wasn’t a girl and it wasn’t someone he would much rather think about or get to know at the moment and still, there he was, Sakito, smiling at him. Why was he smiling in the first place?
Oh and Ruki’s eyes were sparkling and his lips formed the most adorable contented smile. Yeap, he knew his business. He hadn’t expected the two of them to know each other more than by sight but Aoi and Sakito’s reactions certainly proved different. Aoi was in for the adventure of his life.
After he had finally managed to get a grip of himself, Aoi approached the table.
“So, Aoi-chan, I gather you know Sakito-san.” Ruki started.
“Aoi-chan?” Sakito said trying to hide his laughter and being very bad at it.
“Oops. It’s my pet name towards him.”
Aoi just sank further into the chair. The situation was definitely nightmarish. There was no way of putting it differently.
“So, Sakito-san, how come you’re here? Ruki-kun must have told you what the purpose of this… meeting is.”
“You mean date.” Aoi gulped. “Yeap, he told me everything and I don’t mind helping. You see, I’ve been searching for the right person myself. And you got me intrigued. But to be honest, since Ruki-kun asked me, I would have done it anyway.”
“You do realize we’re both men?”
“Why no, I hadn’t noticed when I embraced you the other time…” Sakito said while smirking. Aoi was blushing madly. Ruki immediately whiffed the truth.
“Embraced him? Just how exactly do you know each other?”
“Oh well, you see, he was crying his heart out in the dressing room the other day… where we had our photo shoots and…”
“I was not crying my heart out! Don’t distort the truth.” Aoi was quite plainly ignored. Boy, the man in front of him pissed him off.
“And…without him realizing I walked up to him and embraced him from behind. He actually leaned into the embrace for a bit.” Ruki was ecstatic. This was better than imagined. It was his cue to get out of there.
“Okay, Sakito-san, then I’ll leave you two alone to get to know each other. And Aoi-chan, you do know it’s against the rules to run away, right?”
Aoi just nodded.
“Good. I’m off then. Sakito-san, go easy on him will you?”
“Sure, Ruki-kun, don’t worry. I’ll be as gentle as possible and prepare him thoroughly.”
Ruki almost hopped out of the restaurant out of pure joy while Aoi was damning the day he had been born. The man had said that statement on purpose of course. The connotations just put red on Aoi’s cheeks and he couldn’t seem to get rid of it. Nor did he seem able to form a word, so he was just staring at the tablecloth.
“Is there something more interesting about the table than me?”
“A lot of things actually.”
“Oh, come on, lighten up a bit, we’re here to have fun after all. It’s not like you need to fall desperately in love with me… Unless you want to of course.”
How come Sakito was the one leading the conversation and making the jokes? For crying out loud, Aoi was the buffoon there.
“How about we order?” Aoi managed.
“Sure, what would you like?”
“It’s not like you’re buying or that I’m the girl here so stop with the innuendoes ok?”
“But Aoi-chan, you are the girl.” Aoi’s growl only amused him further. There was just something about the raven-haired guitarist that made him act that way, all childish and prankster-like. The only one that had been able to have that effect on him was Yomi and Yomi could certainly not be considered Sakito-boyfriend material so Aoi making him feel so at ease surely opened up nice perspectives. He hadn’t lied earlier; he was interested in Aoi.
“You do know I am only doing this because I lost a bet with Ruki. And, I am not gay.”
“Neither am I.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I just don’t really care about the gender of my partner. I go out with both guys and girls but until now let’s just say I haven’t found the one to settle down next to.”
Aoi was a bit interested. He wouldn’t admit it though.
“Why?” he dared to ask.
Sakito was again his calm, collected self.
“Because no matter how wonderful they are, there’s always something missing.”
So he did understand Aoi, at least at some level. Aoi was able to relax a bit. Maybe this whole thing could not turn out a complete disaster after all.
“You know, you’re the only person, apart from one of my best friends, that is able to make me act so childish and joke so much.”
“Jeez, I wish I had been spared that talent… For me, it’s quite the opposite actually. Usually I’m the joker in the Gazette but with you it just doesn’t feel right. You make me feel as if I’m not quite myself anymore.”
“Then who are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then what are you searching for? You’re not just hopping on for the ride in accepting Ruki-kun’s conditions, you’re obviously looking for something. What?”
“To get rid of the loneliness, maybe.”
“I see. Then shouldn’t that be easy? I bet there are plenty of people who’d be more than happy to be at your side.”
“I tried that. It just feels more lonely.”
“You know that song you played before?”
“Oh, I was just strumming the guitar, it wasn’t really a song.”
“I know what it feels to play that. That’s why I wanted to comfort you. I know how loneliness and tiredness feels. How about we feel each other then?”
Damn, Aoi had finally started thinking Sakito was serious again and here he went with another one of those phrases. It did lighten up the mood though.
“You’d only get me to feel you when hell freezes over.”
Aoi was surprised that there was no come back. Sakito just called over the waiter and then started giving him the order. And then…
“Oh, and a Hell freeze, please.”
“A what, sir?”
“Oh, it’s a cocktail. Even if you don’t have it on the menu, if I told you how to make it, could you please indulge me? I’m dying for my lover to try it.”
Aoi would have been mad if he hadn’t been so surprised. Sakito walked over to the bar, together with the waiter, talked with the bartender, obviously giving him instructions and then was prancing towards Aoi’s table again, a reddish cocktail in his hand.
“There you go. A Hell freeze. I must say, it’s one of my favorites.”
“You’re not just making this up?”
“Just try it.”
Aoi tried it. It was spicy and hot at the base and yet, as soon as it passed your throat it left behind a cooling sensation. Hotness followed by humidity and cold. Yeap, it certainly fitted the name. It was also sweet yet peppery at the same time, and Aoi wondered what was in it.
“It’s delicious. How do you make it?”
“I’ll trade that knowledge for a kiss.”
“Huh? You’re joking, right?”
“Nope. And you did say you’d allow me to feel you when hell freezes over. Are you going to go back on your word, Aoi-chan?”
A/N: I would have put it up sooner but I wasn't at home and since I had promised to put it today, here it is. Is the mystery revealed? Or is it just the beginning of Aoi's adventure? I'm sure you have a pretty good idea. And I want you to tell me about it. Waiting for the love.