Inferiority complex
For all those who had been waiting for me to write again new fics... here I am! \o/
The
oretachinosong contest's winner has been revealed, so I can post my story in my own journal, in case you haven't read it yet *^^*
The main theme for the AIN'T NO 山 HIGH ENOUGH contest was OVERCOMING DISTANCE [either a physical distance between Sho and Ohno (business trips, moving away, etc.) or an emotional/abstract distance] and here you have my entry :) -originally posted here-
× Title: Inferiority Complex
× Author:
yukichan_tb
× Betareader:
reika9891 (thanks a lot!!)
× Length: 5943 words
× Pairing: Yama Pair
× Rating: NC-17
× Summary: Ohno and Sho’s relationship has weakened over the years, and the Arashi leader blames himself for this, considering himself too plain and boring for dealing with the smarter band-mate.
× Final note: credit to yarukizero for the little bit of lyrics I've used :)
~ * ~ * ~
“Hey Matsujun, are you free tonight?”
Sho was packing his own things in the greenroom after a long day spent in the studio, recording the latest single.
“Yeah, any proposal?”
The younger star replied while adjusting his long coat and scarf in front of the mirror, assuring that he’d be well dressed and not be recognized at the same time.
“There’s this new movie in the cinemas and I was planning on seeing it. Do you wanna come?”
Ohno Satoshi sighed while looking at the pair.
They were both so cool, stylish, smart... perfect.
There’s no wonder as to why they were always accompanying each other even during their free time.
During the last month, they had always been going out together after work for at least once a week even though their schedule was not something you could consider as uneventful.
And when either of them wanted to go shopping, see a butai, or have a drink with a group of friends... one would always call out the other.
Putting it simply, they just quite enjoy being with each other’s company.
Ohno refused to believe that he was jealous. He wasn’t a 13-year-old girl, for heaven’s sake! But no matter how much he tried to deny it, the truth is that, he was.
Usually in his naturally quiet demeanor, he would simply observe his surroundings by watching his band mates and analyzing their behaviors. It is not at all surprising for him to figure out how often Sho would spend time with Jun. He then ended up wondering how Matsumoto had gotten so close to the newscaster and why he had done the exact opposite instead.
They had been close friends for a long time, all the way back since their debut when they both had a lot things in common being the oldest members of the group and all. But now that he ponders about it, he couldn’t quite recall how and when things had started to change.
He could only remember that at one point in time, he was really used to spending a lot of time talking with Sho regarding a lot of things such as their opinions about being an idol, their expectations on their debut, their fears thinking about future, the idea of even leaving Arashi in order to get a more stable career.
But as time went on, they became busier and more occupied with work. They were even assigned to different individual assignments which caused them to spend lesser time together.
Consequently, they wounded up not talking to each other anymore. Nothing non-work related, anyway.
Now, there were times when Sho wouldn’t even talk to Ohno on those days when they were working all together as Arashi.
Not because he was angry at him, but simply because he had nothing to tell him.
Ohno believes that, it was his own fault for being boring.
He was only able to stay inaudible and listen to whatever Sho had to say, without ever retorting anything interesting in response. And the conversations really didn’t go so smoothly since he would only start talking when the subject diverts to art, and of course, fishing. Who would talk about fishes anyway?
He didn’t read newspapers, so they couldn’t talk about current events, he didn’t read a lot of books nor watch TV, so those are out of the choices too, he hadn’t seen a movie or a butai in ages because he had the bad habit of falling asleep whenever he was in a dark room for a long time...
The only thing they had in common was merely music and being a part of Arashi.
But Matsujun was an Arashi member who loved music too... in addition to his being a perfectionist, a skillful speaker, an incredibly bright person.
In two words, a perfect companion for Sakurai Sho.
~ * ~ * ~
Among the members of Arashi, there was only one other person, aside from Ohno, who was aware of Ohno’s “situation”.
This sly person had long before comprehended and noticed the strange behavior from the group’s oldest member. Even this brilliant person had already understood the reasons why Ohno was always feeling low-spirited and blue, though Ohno himself was not aware of it. He attempted to discover what Satoshi’s true feelings were, and after going through a few sneaky observations here and there, he was able to figure it out and he was right on target.
And even though this bratty person was known for being nosy and indiscreet, he had always kept this as secret... because he was positive that Riida wanted him to.
That day, the whole Arashi group was busy with a photo shoot for their latest single and the atmosphere was quite hectic: three outfit changes were planned for the different settings, and every scene had to be completed in the fixed narrow time slots, as usual.
This means that the models were supposed to move swiftly, be perfect at the first shoot, change quickly, rush to the next setting, be creative in their poses, be handsome, smile, laugh, glow with happiness....
“I’m dead tired” mumbled the Arashi leader, collapsing on his chair, when he had just ended his own personal photo session.
Doing photo shoots was not exactly his favorite part in his spotlight-filled career. Being closed in a studio and posing for hundreds of photos was stressful.
For an artist like him, it would have been much more relaxing if the photographer would take his time, would approach this assignment slowly, and take only one picture at a time, letting him prepare himself and show his natural expression... but with time and experience, he had learned how to deal with it.
“You’re not the only one who’s tired, do you know that?” Nino, who was idling next to him, commented casually. It still isn’t his turn for the solo photo shoot, so he was wandering around, killing time.
“With his latest drama filming, he has gotten quite busy lately and I don’t think he’s getting enough sleep”
Ohno didn’t need to look up and glance around in order to check who he was talking about.
When Nino approached him with that tone, it was always about Sho.
Ever since the brat figured out what his leader true feelings were, he decided not to lose any chance in giving him a push, putting him into action, encouraging him make a move... sometimes jokingly, other times in more serious attitude... he would just never give up, hoping that someday Ohno would get tired of his nagging, and finally act.
“And what am I supposed to do? Ask him to come over, offer him my lap so he could take a quick nap?”
The Arashi leader was more than used to the musician’s suggestions, but he had learned that sometimes he just wanted to make fun of him.
In those cases, his only defense weapon was sarcasm.
“It would indeed be a nice idea, and it would be quite bold of you to ask something like that for real...” giggled Ninomiya “...but this is not what I had in mind. Why don’t you simply offer him something to drink? I guess he must be really thirsty, with all that running back and forth...”
Sakurai was sitting a few meters away from the Ohmiya couple, looking indeed tired.
With his legs stretched out and his head reclined back, he was enjoying the short break in the only comfortable position available in the uncomfortable stage chair.
“Just go” insisted the brat, handing Satoshi a bottle of fresh water “He won’t get up for a little while, and he’ll surely welcome you if you’re bringing this with you”
“He’ll just look strangely at me, wondering why I’m doing this...” objected the leader, not confident in the least about his band mate’s tactic.
“...and you’ll simply say that he’s looking really thirsty!”
But Ohno wasn’t going to be easily convinced and he would have stayed still where he was, if only Nino didn’t resort to his bratty techniques... pretending to give up and walk away, he silently moved behind his leader, then pushed forward his chair making him nearly fall on the ground.
At that point, Ohno couldn’t do anything but surrender at his band mate’s pressing will.
Dragging his feet, he slowly approached Sho who hadn’t shifted at all from his relaxed position, but he barely managed to clear his throat when someone else appeared into the scene.
Someone who looked much more refreshing than him...
A Matsumoto Jun who looked like a refreshing drink commercial character: he walked firmly towards them holding an icy bottle into his hand, he opened it making the typical fizzy noise and gulped a few sips showing his bare neck in a sexy pose...
Then he turned towards Sho, smiling wide.
“Would you like some?” he asked, offering the very same bottle he had just drank from.
“Oh... it indeed looks appealing…” commented Sakurai, delighted “I was really craving for something to drink, you know?”
Without hesitation, he took the bottle from Jun’s hand and quenched his thirst.
Witnessing the whole scene, Ohno lost all his confidence and hid Nino’s bottle behind his back, walking silently away...
“I should have expected that it was going to end like this” he muttered sadly, falling on the chair next to Nino. “Everytime Sho-kun needs something, Jun is never too far from him...”
The musician looked at his leader, feeling sincerely sorry for him.
He was SURE to have double checked whether Jun was around before sending Riida to Sho-kun... but that damn diva must have been hiding somewhere!! ...and his tactic had been completely useless, or maybe even unfavorable and damaging for Ohno.
“You just lack practice.” Observed the brat in a serious tone, after pondering a little.
“It’s not that Jun is perfect in everything he does... you would have surely gotten the better on him if you would approach Sho by singing!”
The leader stared confusedly at his band mate, not sure if he’s getting exactly what Nino was talking about.
It was probably another chunk of his jokes.
“...Singing? And what was I supposed to sing while offering a bottle of water?”
Nino put up his pretending-thinking expression, massaging his chin with his own hand, then proposed: “You know, it would have been perfect if you sing something like “We started running even though we were thirsty... ♫” [Kawaita mama bokura wa kakedashitanda...]
And hearing Kazu singing “To be Free”, which was the song used for Mitsuya Cider CM, Ohno couldn’t help but start laughing helplessly at the subtle joke.
In giving advices and suggesting tactics he may be useless, but at least the brat was a good friend who is able to bring him back smiling.
If only he were so close to Sho as well…
~ * ~ * ~
“Why don’t you ask him out for once?” suggested Ninomiya at his gloomy leader one day. “Just for a chat, a beer... so that you two can spend some time together, alone. It may be a starting point!”
Even if the Arashi leader has already showed he wasn’t exactly the active type, he had to admit that Kazu was right: if he really wanted to recommence his relationship with Sho, he needed to step up and do the first move.
Furthermore, the rapper was customarily kind enough to not refuse any invitations, so it was really all up to himself.
And after five failed attempts (one of each Arashi members who had gotten in the way throughout the process, including Sho for not paying attention to him, and himself for not being able to articulate the sentence), he finally managed to ask.
He had felt uncomfortable right after he had made that offer, immediately noticing Sho’s very surprised reaction... as if being asked out by the Leader was some kind of event that needed a specific reason.
As if the simple hanging out together wasn’t enough.
But Ohno tried to ignore those heavy feelings, repeating to himself that the unfamiliarity between them would fade once they’d start talking again.
It was simple right?
Go out, sit at table and have a beer, go along with the ambiance and start chatting the night away.
This was how he had planned it in his mind.
It was too unfortunate for him as nothing went his way.
That night they had gone out together after work and headed towards a quiet bar that Ohno had spotted quite some time ago, and they ended up sitting at a quiet corner.
Later, he realized that a livelier setting would have been a much better choice. That way, they wouldn’t be feeling so uncomfortable, engulfed with dead silence.
They ordered a couple of beer, and nothing else since they had both already eaten.
Sakurai, then, stared at his band mate who was sitting still across from him, waiting for a conversation to commence. The way he looked at Ohno was like he was trying to convey something in the lines of “You asked me out, right? Weren’t you going to tell me something?”
And while being faced by that expectant expression, Ohno really tried his best in order to come up with an interesting topic... but all the things he had planned to say this whole evening had escaped his mouth in the first ten minutes of their supposed to be happy get-together.
At that point, the rapper realized that his leader didn’t actually had anything important to say and was only craving for some company.
He looked at his own almost-full glass in resignation, and came out with his own topics... completely aware that it was going to be a one-sided conversation.
“Are you leaving already?” asked Ohno when Sakurai stood up right after finishing his beer.
It’s not that he wasn’t aware of the disastrous evening, but he had hoped to have... more chances.
Maybe with the second beer he would have talked more... or during the third round, perhaps.
But apparently his band-mate wasn’t willing to wait for him to get drunk. Obviously.
“I have... another appointment actually” explained the taller man “there’s this colleague of mine, in News Zero’s team, and he’s celebrating his birthday after his late shift, so we’re going to meet up with him in about 10 minutes. You don’t mind me going ahead, right?”
It was even worse!
It’s not only that he had gotten bored throughout the evening due to his lack of loquacity, but he had even made other plans before actually going out. As if he had expected from the beginning that it would take him no more than thirty minutes to stay out with him.
Ohno sadly stared at him as he paid his share at the counter, then left.
He wondered what would have happened if he were Matsumoto. “Surely, he would have taken me along to that colleague’s birthday, and everybody else would have been happy about it even though I’m not a member of the team... it must be nice being Jun.”
Then he ordered another beer.
Even though he was alone now, he didn’t want to leave yet.
“At least I can be in silence without anyone staring at me in expectation” he said to himself “And unlike Sho-kun, I had originally planned to stay out for the whole night and this is what I’m going to do”
~ * ~ * ~
“Sho-kun, did you went out with Riida yesterday night?” asked Ninomiya in a slightly worried tone, as soon as the newscaster entered the green room that morning.
“Yes, I did. Why? Is there something going on?” asked back Sakurai, thinking about Ohno’s odd behaviour that had brought them to go out together without any apparent reason.
Maybe he was right in thinking that something was happening, even though his leader hadn’t brought up the topic...
“I was about to ask you that, actually. Did something happened?” insisted the musician “When his manager went at his place this morning, he found him asleep and still drunk so he had to cancel all his assignment for the day... I thought you were just going to have a beer”
Sho could feel the accusation behind Nino’s words, but he couldn’t really blame himself.
“And that’s what we had! At least... I had just a beer, then had to leave early... but I thought he would go home right after finishing his own. He was alone, after all!”
“Yeah... because it has never been heard that a depressed man being left alone into a bar will get drunk, right? What a sharp deduction you had, Kageyama”
Depressed?
Since when Ohno had been depressed?
Nino was probably teasing him... yet, it would have been indeed a bad joke. Maybe a little too much even for his standards.
“I’m sorry... I haven’t realized anything...” he said at last, sincerely worried about the whole situation.
He could see now that he was responsible for Ohno’s actions, and regretted the fact that he had left him alone the previous evening...
Then he wondered how come he had never noticed anything before.
“Of course you haven’t! How long has it been since the last time you talked to him? And by talk I mean asking him how he’s going, or how he’s feeling lately...” growled the brat “Oh, and also listening his answer is a required element”
Sad to say, he honestly didn’t know.
“You’re too busy with having parties with your dear Jun-kun, that you have not noticed that someone else needs you. Just because he doesn’t show his feelings and weaknesses openly and he just sits quietly in a corner handling all his matters by his own, doesn’t mean he’s doing oh so well.”
Well, the fact that he had been spending a lot of time with Matsujun was indeed true, Sho couldn’t deny that. But he had never thought that there was something wrong with that!
Moreover, if Nino was completely aware about Riida’s problems...
“...then why didn’t you do something for him?”
“Because I am not the one he wants.”
~ * ~ * ~
Ohno woke up at 4 p.m. that afternoon.
The previous awakening during that day didn’t count since he had been literally dragged off the bed by his manager, who gave up on him after realizing his terribly awful condition... he made a note to himself to call him and apologize. He was sure to have muttered some heavy insult while trying to chase him away...
He got up from the bed cursing himself: it has been ages ago ince the last time he had gotten that drunk, and he was now regretting it because he couldn’t bear the hangover!
The terrible headache and dizziness, the awful look on his face, the taste lingering into his mouth, his own smell... he hated all that.
Not talking about the shame.
How was he supposed to face his band-mates and colleagues?
He didn’t want to think about it now.
He decided to take a shower as a remedy to some of those aspects... he couldn’t do anything yet about the sickening feeling, and he would definitely postpone the worst aspect to another moment.
Unfortunately for him, that moment came sooner than expected, as the doorbell rang when he had just stepped out from the shower.
He headed lazily towards the door wearing only his bathrobe, determined to tell his manager that he wasn’t going to repeat that madness anytime soon... but all his thoughts froze into his head when he opened the door, realizing that his visitor was no one else but Sho-kun.
The very person he wanted to meet up with the least, as of this moment.
“Hey!” waved cheerfully the rapper, trying to keep a joking attitude “...if you were going to get drunk, you could have told me! I wouldn’t have left you there, having fun all by yourself!”
He already knew, thought Ohno, realization pouring down on him.
Well, there was little chance that he might still have not figured everything out.
“I guess this is what happens when you keep telling yourself that the next one will be the last beer...” he mumbled lazily.
Sho smiled gently in response. He had a feeling that his band-mate wasn’t willing to take this matter into a deeper level, so he was deciding to just leave him after dropping a few forced words...
But a cold breeze was blowing while they were still talking on the doorstep, with Ohno wearing only his bathrobe... and by noticing him trembling with cold, his protective instinct got the upper hand.
“I came to check on you. May I come in?”
The Arashi leader took a moment before replying, but at the end he just nodded and let him enter.
The place wasn’t particularly tidy, but at least it was clean.
There were still traces of Ohno’s drunk passage, with his shoes and clothes scattered across the room... The newscaster realized that his band-mate might probably had just woken up.
Trying his best in order to not pay attention to those details, he quietly sat down next to a small table at the center of the room, while Ohno moved towards the cooking corner to prepare some tea.
“You don’t look well.” observed Sakurai after a little while, noticing his lazy movements.
“I’m just having a bad hangover”
His tone was a little harsh, partially because he didn’t know how to handle the shame, but also because he felt somehow irritated. He wasn’t convinced about Sho’s sincerity: he was sure that his being there was more a “sense of duty” than real concern.
“I’m really sorry for leaving you there yesterday night” declared Sho after a little while, when he managed to look at his friend straight into his eyes.
“You couldn't help it, I was so boring...” muttered back the Arashi leader, serving the teacup in front of him “oh wait... I’m always like that!”
“What are you talking about?”
The rapper wasn’t sure about having heard him correctly.
Was he being sarcastic? For real?
“I had another appointment arranged from before, I couldn’t really help it! But I didn’t want to turn down your invitation as well, so I accepted to come out with you but time flew quickly and...”
“Oh, please! I’m not smart like the newscaster Sakurai but I’m not stupid either... I know that I’m the least interesting person who hangs around with you, and this is the only reason why you left. I’m plain, boring, ordinary, I don’t have a good brain and I’m not that handsome either! Look at me!!” he took a step back opening his vest, shoving his bare chest in a kind of desperate act.
“The most successful thing I’ve achieved with this body of mine, is being a silly character with fake ears! Unlike you, or Matsujun...”
At those words the taller man instantly got up and moved towards him, grabbing his wrist.
“Me? Matsujun? What the hell are you talking about? Is really this what was going on in your mind? How long have you been doing comparisons between us?”
“Does it matter?” talked back the short man, without bothering to hold his anger back.
“Yes it does. I want to know for how long you’ve been acting like a real fool” growled Sakurai, tightening his grip on his arm.
“I suppose that this year will be the 13th. Since I definitely entered this damn shiny world, which is clearly not made for me...”
He was looking straight into his band-mate’s eyes while saying those icy words.
He was thinking all that for real.
“...and why are you still here then?”
Of all those things Sho wanted to ask, the most cruel one was the first who came out... probably due to his rising anger.
“Because I am a fool, as you had already smartly observed. I just hoped that one day we would have been on the same level once again, if I kept trying hard, just like how we were at our debut... but I probably forgot that we have never been on the same level even from the beginning. You have always been much better than me. And I can’t compete with you in anything. I can’t even hold a decent conversation with you.”
The last sentence hit Sakurai in a pang of guilt.
“This is my fault, not yours...” he mumbled quietly “And it’s not that we aren’t on the same level... this is just crap! You are the most talented singer and skilled dancer among us. You have always been doing your job in a remarkable way, you’re a pro as much as I am.”
“...but you still don’t consider me a person worth of your company, isn’t that right?” concluded the shorter man
“This is not true. It’s just that Matsujun has always adored me and to keep up the pace with me he just copies everything I do!! ...That’s why it’s so easy to hang out with him!” the newscaster exclaimed in self defence
“But if we talk about his own inner personality... he can’t being compared to you. At the end, it’s all my fault for having preferred the easy way instead of the right one.”
Ohno stared at his band-mate in confusion, not knowing at all what he was talking about.
He was about to step back and move away from him, in order to recollect his own thoughts and try to understand his words... but the grip on his wrist was still too strong.
“The reason why I’ve gradually drifted away from you...” Sho started talking again, in a flow of thoughts that he didn’t want to stop now “...is because I wasn’t able to handle my own feelings. But trust me, if I had ever imagined that you were going to get hurt, I’d have never acted this way!!”
The confusion on Ohno’s face was even more evident now.
He had always been seeking for Sho’s friendship, for a long time he had missed their conversations, his advices, his company... but now it seemed like that they were talking about something else.
“What... feelings?”
“I don’t know if it is my friendship that you have been missing, but there’s something else that I’ve always felt. It was getting harder and harder every single day, to be so close to you and yet not ever let myself go... and you didn’t even seem to care much about me, always having Nino all over you... it didn’t seem as though you were missing me... so I’ve never felt guilty. Now it seems that I should have been more attentive, after all.”
Those words sounded nice indeed, but Ohno couldn’t understand yet what he was driving at...
“You probably won’t understand, but I suppose it’s time for me to be completely honest with you, at last.”
Sho took a deep breath and looked at his band-mate’s eyes, in a kind of begging look.
As if he were saying “sorry” beforehand.
A moment later, he was bringing his lips close to Ohno’s, still grabbing his arm with his right hand, and stroking his nape with the other, caressing softly his hair with the tip of his fingers... his whole posture expressed his intention of not letting him escape, since this was his greatest worry.
But the Arashi’s leader didn’t move.
He stood right there, savouring Sho’s taste on his own lips, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed against his own, feeling his pleasant smell...
...until the rapper stepped back, all of a sudden.
“I’m sorry for kissing you...” he babbled “...actually no, I’m not.”
He didn’t look as confident as he usually was.
But he looked sincere, and so is his feelings.
“This, and lot more, is what I have been craving for a long time. And I know that this is not what you were looking for, that’s why I’ve always held back.”
“I see...”
The Arashi leader was now back to his usual silent mode.
He looked at Sho, who was quite agitated at the moment, then he brought his own hand up to his own face, brushing his own lips trying to understand the peculiar sensation he had been feeling during the kiss.
None of those things that the rapper had told him was something he had been expecting.
Especially not the kiss.
“It felt pleasant though...” he mumbled at last, more to himself than actually to his friend.
“Did it?”
Sakurai beamed with joy.
He may have a chance. He may have an opportunity. There may have a possibility!!
“It didn’t last long though... I have to check it one more time.”
He didn’t ask for permission, he didn’t gave any significant look to his friend before acting, he didn’t gave him the time to move away nor welcome him.... he just took a step forward and clashed his own lips against Sho’s.
He felt again the pleasant taste, the warmth, the smell... and that lingering inner sensation that he wasn’t able to recognize, but indeed made him feel like the happiest person on earth...
He wanted more.
He didn’t want it to end soon.
He moved his hands on Sakurai’s body, stroking his neck with the right one and caressing his back with the other... he could feel Sho’s hands doing the same with him, sending him shivers down his spine whenever he would brush against his naked skin.
Oh yes, he had just gotten out of the shower... until that moment Ohno had almost forgotten that he was naked under his vest.
And when the rapper put his own leg between the leader’s thighs, he realized it too.
His erection must have been quite evident with no clothes on...
Without ever moving away from the kiss, he felt Sho’s smile against his lips and realized that he was delighted by the whole situation... and he couldn’t hold back a low sigh when his band-mate started to brush slowly against him.
Sho’s crotch was moving back and forward, up and down... and Ohno’s member reacted to any movement, with his knees getting weaker and weaker.
He was struggling into his arms, not wanting to break the kiss yet unable to stand still and bear that pleasant torture.
But when Sakurai’s hand moved down to grab his hardness, he simply couldn’t hold himself back, bending his head backwards and letting out a soft cry...
“You’re liking this” affirmed simply the newscaster, with a smirk.
No words came in response, but the Arashi leader tightened his grip on Sho’s shoulder, mumbling lowly.
“You are too vulnerable right now...” Sakurai started talking again, with a kind of hoarse voice that Ohno was sure to have never heard before “...I could do anything to you right now, and you wouldn’t push me away...”
He suddenly stopped moving.
He wasn’t sure whether he was doing the right thing.
But Ohno was.
He stretched his arm in order to grab Sho’s wrist and posed it again on his own member.
“I’m not vulnerable. I was drunk yesterday night, not now. I know what we are doing and I know what I want...”
An imperceptible movement from Sho, and he squirmed under his touch.
“...As for now, I don’t want you to stop.”
Without saying anything else, the rapper approached to his neck, planting soft kisses on the line from his ear to his collarbone, and started stroking him again.
Then he took a step forward, making Ohno walk backwards until they reached the small couch in a corner of the room, making his lover fall on it.
With that move he temporarily lost the grip on the leader’s body, but he soon took advantage of the new position: towering over him, he positioned a knee between his legs and his hands at the side of his head... then he assaulted him once again, devouring his lips and his neck, shifting slowly towards his lower body.
As for Ohno, he couldn’t do anything but surrender under those kisses.
He could feel his skin burning everytime Sho would touch him, and he felt like giving him more and more access to his body, in order to let him continue his treatment without ever stopping... and when Sho opened his vest, he didn’t bother.
He knew that he was naked, he knew that he was being stared at, he knew that he was showing something he would have never thought to show him... but all those thoughts were relegated in a corner of his mind, completely covered by the incredible pleasure he was feeling.
And when he felt Sho’s lips closing around his own member, he felt like exploding.
He opened his eyes wide with surprise, and looked down at him... an incredibly sexy Sakurai Sho was sucking him off, gorgeously.
With his own legs spread wide, and his lover’s head bobbing right in the middle, he felt incredibly erotic.
He could have come only by looking at him... and he was about to, considering how much he felt his own member throbbing.
But Sho was particularly skilled in his “job”, and he didn’t ever let Ohno to get too close to his climax, by reducing the intensity of his movements with a perfect timing: he would slow down, lick him throughout his length, then cup his balls and engulf him once again, making him moan desperately every single time.
This was until Ohno couldn’t take it more, and started begging desperately.
“Please please please...”
He arched his back on the couch, thrusting forward his pelvis... looking for something that wasn’t going to come, yet was so close.
And even though the sight of his naked leader moaning and aroused was simply gorgeous, Sakurai was kind enough to please him... by accelerating the rhythm with his hands and mouth, and letting him experience his climax.
It took him a few minutes to recollect himself.
But when he finally came to his senses, the Arashi leader realized fully what had happened.
He suddenly opened his eyes and looked at his feet, where Sakurai was sitting cross-legged, waiting patiently... and when he noticed his gaze, he smiled gently.
“I guess you liked it, am I right?”
Ohno nodded.
“I hope I hadn’t gone too far...” Sho spoke again, expressing his inner thoughts.
To express his own feelings had been quite an achievement, after years of silence and denial... but to actually do what he had just done... he wasn’t sure whether it had been a smart move.
But during those moments, he had never thought, not even for an instant, that he had done something wrong, and he desperately wanted to think that his inner instinct could be trusted...
“What is going to happen, from now on?” Ohno’s sudden question interrupted his flow of thoughts “Between you and me, I mean. Are we going to get back to what we were at the beginning... or are we going to pretend that none of this had happened... or what?”
“I wouldn’t choose neither of those options” replied Sho without thinking much “Can’t we simply start something completely new? Something that we had never tried before...”
“If this “something new” includes me kissing you, it’s okay.” mumbled the leader in a half smile, bending towards his mate “...and you should be allowed as well to do all your wonderful tricks to me.”
“Great!”
Sho grinned widely, placing a soft kiss on his lips “There’s so much more I absolutely need to show you... ♥”
~ * ~ * ~
Owari ^o^
Please please please share your thoughts with me! ^^
The
oretachinosong contest's winner has been revealed, so I can post my story in my own journal, in case you haven't read it yet *^^*
The main theme for the AIN'T NO 山 HIGH ENOUGH contest was OVERCOMING DISTANCE [either a physical distance between Sho and Ohno (business trips, moving away, etc.) or an emotional/abstract distance] and here you have my entry :) -originally posted here-
× Title: Inferiority Complex
× Author:
yukichan_tb
× Betareader:
reika9891 (thanks a lot!!)
× Length: 5943 words
× Pairing: Yama Pair
× Rating: NC-17
× Summary: Ohno and Sho’s relationship has weakened over the years, and the Arashi leader blames himself for this, considering himself too plain and boring for dealing with the smarter band-mate.
× Final note: credit to yarukizero for the little bit of lyrics I've used :)
~ * ~ * ~
“Hey Matsujun, are you free tonight?”
Sho was packing his own things in the greenroom after a long day spent in the studio, recording the latest single.
“Yeah, any proposal?”
The younger star replied while adjusting his long coat and scarf in front of the mirror, assuring that he’d be well dressed and not be recognized at the same time.
“There’s this new movie in the cinemas and I was planning on seeing it. Do you wanna come?”
Ohno Satoshi sighed while looking at the pair.
They were both so cool, stylish, smart... perfect.
There’s no wonder as to why they were always accompanying each other even during their free time.
During the last month, they had always been going out together after work for at least once a week even though their schedule was not something you could consider as uneventful.
And when either of them wanted to go shopping, see a butai, or have a drink with a group of friends... one would always call out the other.
Putting it simply, they just quite enjoy being with each other’s company.
Ohno refused to believe that he was jealous. He wasn’t a 13-year-old girl, for heaven’s sake! But no matter how much he tried to deny it, the truth is that, he was.
Usually in his naturally quiet demeanor, he would simply observe his surroundings by watching his band mates and analyzing their behaviors. It is not at all surprising for him to figure out how often Sho would spend time with Jun. He then ended up wondering how Matsumoto had gotten so close to the newscaster and why he had done the exact opposite instead.
They had been close friends for a long time, all the way back since their debut when they both had a lot things in common being the oldest members of the group and all. But now that he ponders about it, he couldn’t quite recall how and when things had started to change.
He could only remember that at one point in time, he was really used to spending a lot of time talking with Sho regarding a lot of things such as their opinions about being an idol, their expectations on their debut, their fears thinking about future, the idea of even leaving Arashi in order to get a more stable career.
But as time went on, they became busier and more occupied with work. They were even assigned to different individual assignments which caused them to spend lesser time together.
Consequently, they wounded up not talking to each other anymore. Nothing non-work related, anyway.
Now, there were times when Sho wouldn’t even talk to Ohno on those days when they were working all together as Arashi.
Not because he was angry at him, but simply because he had nothing to tell him.
Ohno believes that, it was his own fault for being boring.
He was only able to stay inaudible and listen to whatever Sho had to say, without ever retorting anything interesting in response. And the conversations really didn’t go so smoothly since he would only start talking when the subject diverts to art, and of course, fishing. Who would talk about fishes anyway?
He didn’t read newspapers, so they couldn’t talk about current events, he didn’t read a lot of books nor watch TV, so those are out of the choices too, he hadn’t seen a movie or a butai in ages because he had the bad habit of falling asleep whenever he was in a dark room for a long time...
The only thing they had in common was merely music and being a part of Arashi.
But Matsujun was an Arashi member who loved music too... in addition to his being a perfectionist, a skillful speaker, an incredibly bright person.
In two words, a perfect companion for Sakurai Sho.
~ * ~ * ~
Among the members of Arashi, there was only one other person, aside from Ohno, who was aware of Ohno’s “situation”.
This sly person had long before comprehended and noticed the strange behavior from the group’s oldest member. Even this brilliant person had already understood the reasons why Ohno was always feeling low-spirited and blue, though Ohno himself was not aware of it. He attempted to discover what Satoshi’s true feelings were, and after going through a few sneaky observations here and there, he was able to figure it out and he was right on target.
And even though this bratty person was known for being nosy and indiscreet, he had always kept this as secret... because he was positive that Riida wanted him to.
That day, the whole Arashi group was busy with a photo shoot for their latest single and the atmosphere was quite hectic: three outfit changes were planned for the different settings, and every scene had to be completed in the fixed narrow time slots, as usual.
This means that the models were supposed to move swiftly, be perfect at the first shoot, change quickly, rush to the next setting, be creative in their poses, be handsome, smile, laugh, glow with happiness....
“I’m dead tired” mumbled the Arashi leader, collapsing on his chair, when he had just ended his own personal photo session.
Doing photo shoots was not exactly his favorite part in his spotlight-filled career. Being closed in a studio and posing for hundreds of photos was stressful.
For an artist like him, it would have been much more relaxing if the photographer would take his time, would approach this assignment slowly, and take only one picture at a time, letting him prepare himself and show his natural expression... but with time and experience, he had learned how to deal with it.
“You’re not the only one who’s tired, do you know that?” Nino, who was idling next to him, commented casually. It still isn’t his turn for the solo photo shoot, so he was wandering around, killing time.
“With his latest drama filming, he has gotten quite busy lately and I don’t think he’s getting enough sleep”
Ohno didn’t need to look up and glance around in order to check who he was talking about.
When Nino approached him with that tone, it was always about Sho.
Ever since the brat figured out what his leader true feelings were, he decided not to lose any chance in giving him a push, putting him into action, encouraging him make a move... sometimes jokingly, other times in more serious attitude... he would just never give up, hoping that someday Ohno would get tired of his nagging, and finally act.
“And what am I supposed to do? Ask him to come over, offer him my lap so he could take a quick nap?”
The Arashi leader was more than used to the musician’s suggestions, but he had learned that sometimes he just wanted to make fun of him.
In those cases, his only defense weapon was sarcasm.
“It would indeed be a nice idea, and it would be quite bold of you to ask something like that for real...” giggled Ninomiya “...but this is not what I had in mind. Why don’t you simply offer him something to drink? I guess he must be really thirsty, with all that running back and forth...”
Sakurai was sitting a few meters away from the Ohmiya couple, looking indeed tired.
With his legs stretched out and his head reclined back, he was enjoying the short break in the only comfortable position available in the uncomfortable stage chair.
“Just go” insisted the brat, handing Satoshi a bottle of fresh water “He won’t get up for a little while, and he’ll surely welcome you if you’re bringing this with you”
“He’ll just look strangely at me, wondering why I’m doing this...” objected the leader, not confident in the least about his band mate’s tactic.
“...and you’ll simply say that he’s looking really thirsty!”
But Ohno wasn’t going to be easily convinced and he would have stayed still where he was, if only Nino didn’t resort to his bratty techniques... pretending to give up and walk away, he silently moved behind his leader, then pushed forward his chair making him nearly fall on the ground.
At that point, Ohno couldn’t do anything but surrender at his band mate’s pressing will.
Dragging his feet, he slowly approached Sho who hadn’t shifted at all from his relaxed position, but he barely managed to clear his throat when someone else appeared into the scene.
Someone who looked much more refreshing than him...
A Matsumoto Jun who looked like a refreshing drink commercial character: he walked firmly towards them holding an icy bottle into his hand, he opened it making the typical fizzy noise and gulped a few sips showing his bare neck in a sexy pose...
Then he turned towards Sho, smiling wide.
“Would you like some?” he asked, offering the very same bottle he had just drank from.
“Oh... it indeed looks appealing…” commented Sakurai, delighted “I was really craving for something to drink, you know?”
Without hesitation, he took the bottle from Jun’s hand and quenched his thirst.
Witnessing the whole scene, Ohno lost all his confidence and hid Nino’s bottle behind his back, walking silently away...
“I should have expected that it was going to end like this” he muttered sadly, falling on the chair next to Nino. “Everytime Sho-kun needs something, Jun is never too far from him...”
The musician looked at his leader, feeling sincerely sorry for him.
He was SURE to have double checked whether Jun was around before sending Riida to Sho-kun... but that damn diva must have been hiding somewhere!! ...and his tactic had been completely useless, or maybe even unfavorable and damaging for Ohno.
“You just lack practice.” Observed the brat in a serious tone, after pondering a little.
“It’s not that Jun is perfect in everything he does... you would have surely gotten the better on him if you would approach Sho by singing!”
The leader stared confusedly at his band mate, not sure if he’s getting exactly what Nino was talking about.
It was probably another chunk of his jokes.
“...Singing? And what was I supposed to sing while offering a bottle of water?”
Nino put up his pretending-thinking expression, massaging his chin with his own hand, then proposed: “You know, it would have been perfect if you sing something like “We started running even though we were thirsty... ♫” [Kawaita mama bokura wa kakedashitanda...]
And hearing Kazu singing “To be Free”, which was the song used for Mitsuya Cider CM, Ohno couldn’t help but start laughing helplessly at the subtle joke.
In giving advices and suggesting tactics he may be useless, but at least the brat was a good friend who is able to bring him back smiling.
If only he were so close to Sho as well…
~ * ~ * ~
“Why don’t you ask him out for once?” suggested Ninomiya at his gloomy leader one day. “Just for a chat, a beer... so that you two can spend some time together, alone. It may be a starting point!”
Even if the Arashi leader has already showed he wasn’t exactly the active type, he had to admit that Kazu was right: if he really wanted to recommence his relationship with Sho, he needed to step up and do the first move.
Furthermore, the rapper was customarily kind enough to not refuse any invitations, so it was really all up to himself.
And after five failed attempts (one of each Arashi members who had gotten in the way throughout the process, including Sho for not paying attention to him, and himself for not being able to articulate the sentence), he finally managed to ask.
He had felt uncomfortable right after he had made that offer, immediately noticing Sho’s very surprised reaction... as if being asked out by the Leader was some kind of event that needed a specific reason.
As if the simple hanging out together wasn’t enough.
But Ohno tried to ignore those heavy feelings, repeating to himself that the unfamiliarity between them would fade once they’d start talking again.
It was simple right?
Go out, sit at table and have a beer, go along with the ambiance and start chatting the night away.
This was how he had planned it in his mind.
It was too unfortunate for him as nothing went his way.
That night they had gone out together after work and headed towards a quiet bar that Ohno had spotted quite some time ago, and they ended up sitting at a quiet corner.
Later, he realized that a livelier setting would have been a much better choice. That way, they wouldn’t be feeling so uncomfortable, engulfed with dead silence.
They ordered a couple of beer, and nothing else since they had both already eaten.
Sakurai, then, stared at his band mate who was sitting still across from him, waiting for a conversation to commence. The way he looked at Ohno was like he was trying to convey something in the lines of “You asked me out, right? Weren’t you going to tell me something?”
And while being faced by that expectant expression, Ohno really tried his best in order to come up with an interesting topic... but all the things he had planned to say this whole evening had escaped his mouth in the first ten minutes of their supposed to be happy get-together.
At that point, the rapper realized that his leader didn’t actually had anything important to say and was only craving for some company.
He looked at his own almost-full glass in resignation, and came out with his own topics... completely aware that it was going to be a one-sided conversation.
“Are you leaving already?” asked Ohno when Sakurai stood up right after finishing his beer.
It’s not that he wasn’t aware of the disastrous evening, but he had hoped to have... more chances.
Maybe with the second beer he would have talked more... or during the third round, perhaps.
But apparently his band-mate wasn’t willing to wait for him to get drunk. Obviously.
“I have... another appointment actually” explained the taller man “there’s this colleague of mine, in News Zero’s team, and he’s celebrating his birthday after his late shift, so we’re going to meet up with him in about 10 minutes. You don’t mind me going ahead, right?”
It was even worse!
It’s not only that he had gotten bored throughout the evening due to his lack of loquacity, but he had even made other plans before actually going out. As if he had expected from the beginning that it would take him no more than thirty minutes to stay out with him.
Ohno sadly stared at him as he paid his share at the counter, then left.
He wondered what would have happened if he were Matsumoto. “Surely, he would have taken me along to that colleague’s birthday, and everybody else would have been happy about it even though I’m not a member of the team... it must be nice being Jun.”
Then he ordered another beer.
Even though he was alone now, he didn’t want to leave yet.
“At least I can be in silence without anyone staring at me in expectation” he said to himself “And unlike Sho-kun, I had originally planned to stay out for the whole night and this is what I’m going to do”
~ * ~ * ~
“Sho-kun, did you went out with Riida yesterday night?” asked Ninomiya in a slightly worried tone, as soon as the newscaster entered the green room that morning.
“Yes, I did. Why? Is there something going on?” asked back Sakurai, thinking about Ohno’s odd behaviour that had brought them to go out together without any apparent reason.
Maybe he was right in thinking that something was happening, even though his leader hadn’t brought up the topic...
“I was about to ask you that, actually. Did something happened?” insisted the musician “When his manager went at his place this morning, he found him asleep and still drunk so he had to cancel all his assignment for the day... I thought you were just going to have a beer”
Sho could feel the accusation behind Nino’s words, but he couldn’t really blame himself.
“And that’s what we had! At least... I had just a beer, then had to leave early... but I thought he would go home right after finishing his own. He was alone, after all!”
“Yeah... because it has never been heard that a depressed man being left alone into a bar will get drunk, right? What a sharp deduction you had, Kageyama”
Depressed?
Since when Ohno had been depressed?
Nino was probably teasing him... yet, it would have been indeed a bad joke. Maybe a little too much even for his standards.
“I’m sorry... I haven’t realized anything...” he said at last, sincerely worried about the whole situation.
He could see now that he was responsible for Ohno’s actions, and regretted the fact that he had left him alone the previous evening...
Then he wondered how come he had never noticed anything before.
“Of course you haven’t! How long has it been since the last time you talked to him? And by talk I mean asking him how he’s going, or how he’s feeling lately...” growled the brat “Oh, and also listening his answer is a required element”
Sad to say, he honestly didn’t know.
“You’re too busy with having parties with your dear Jun-kun, that you have not noticed that someone else needs you. Just because he doesn’t show his feelings and weaknesses openly and he just sits quietly in a corner handling all his matters by his own, doesn’t mean he’s doing oh so well.”
Well, the fact that he had been spending a lot of time with Matsujun was indeed true, Sho couldn’t deny that. But he had never thought that there was something wrong with that!
Moreover, if Nino was completely aware about Riida’s problems...
“...then why didn’t you do something for him?”
“Because I am not the one he wants.”
~ * ~ * ~
Ohno woke up at 4 p.m. that afternoon.
The previous awakening during that day didn’t count since he had been literally dragged off the bed by his manager, who gave up on him after realizing his terribly awful condition... he made a note to himself to call him and apologize. He was sure to have muttered some heavy insult while trying to chase him away...
He got up from the bed cursing himself: it has been ages ago ince the last time he had gotten that drunk, and he was now regretting it because he couldn’t bear the hangover!
The terrible headache and dizziness, the awful look on his face, the taste lingering into his mouth, his own smell... he hated all that.
Not talking about the shame.
How was he supposed to face his band-mates and colleagues?
He didn’t want to think about it now.
He decided to take a shower as a remedy to some of those aspects... he couldn’t do anything yet about the sickening feeling, and he would definitely postpone the worst aspect to another moment.
Unfortunately for him, that moment came sooner than expected, as the doorbell rang when he had just stepped out from the shower.
He headed lazily towards the door wearing only his bathrobe, determined to tell his manager that he wasn’t going to repeat that madness anytime soon... but all his thoughts froze into his head when he opened the door, realizing that his visitor was no one else but Sho-kun.
The very person he wanted to meet up with the least, as of this moment.
“Hey!” waved cheerfully the rapper, trying to keep a joking attitude “...if you were going to get drunk, you could have told me! I wouldn’t have left you there, having fun all by yourself!”
He already knew, thought Ohno, realization pouring down on him.
Well, there was little chance that he might still have not figured everything out.
“I guess this is what happens when you keep telling yourself that the next one will be the last beer...” he mumbled lazily.
Sho smiled gently in response. He had a feeling that his band-mate wasn’t willing to take this matter into a deeper level, so he was deciding to just leave him after dropping a few forced words...
But a cold breeze was blowing while they were still talking on the doorstep, with Ohno wearing only his bathrobe... and by noticing him trembling with cold, his protective instinct got the upper hand.
“I came to check on you. May I come in?”
The Arashi leader took a moment before replying, but at the end he just nodded and let him enter.
The place wasn’t particularly tidy, but at least it was clean.
There were still traces of Ohno’s drunk passage, with his shoes and clothes scattered across the room... The newscaster realized that his band-mate might probably had just woken up.
Trying his best in order to not pay attention to those details, he quietly sat down next to a small table at the center of the room, while Ohno moved towards the cooking corner to prepare some tea.
“You don’t look well.” observed Sakurai after a little while, noticing his lazy movements.
“I’m just having a bad hangover”
His tone was a little harsh, partially because he didn’t know how to handle the shame, but also because he felt somehow irritated. He wasn’t convinced about Sho’s sincerity: he was sure that his being there was more a “sense of duty” than real concern.
“I’m really sorry for leaving you there yesterday night” declared Sho after a little while, when he managed to look at his friend straight into his eyes.
“You couldn't help it, I was so boring...” muttered back the Arashi leader, serving the teacup in front of him “oh wait... I’m always like that!”
“What are you talking about?”
The rapper wasn’t sure about having heard him correctly.
Was he being sarcastic? For real?
“I had another appointment arranged from before, I couldn’t really help it! But I didn’t want to turn down your invitation as well, so I accepted to come out with you but time flew quickly and...”
“Oh, please! I’m not smart like the newscaster Sakurai but I’m not stupid either... I know that I’m the least interesting person who hangs around with you, and this is the only reason why you left. I’m plain, boring, ordinary, I don’t have a good brain and I’m not that handsome either! Look at me!!” he took a step back opening his vest, shoving his bare chest in a kind of desperate act.
“The most successful thing I’ve achieved with this body of mine, is being a silly character with fake ears! Unlike you, or Matsujun...”
At those words the taller man instantly got up and moved towards him, grabbing his wrist.
“Me? Matsujun? What the hell are you talking about? Is really this what was going on in your mind? How long have you been doing comparisons between us?”
“Does it matter?” talked back the short man, without bothering to hold his anger back.
“Yes it does. I want to know for how long you’ve been acting like a real fool” growled Sakurai, tightening his grip on his arm.
“I suppose that this year will be the 13th. Since I definitely entered this damn shiny world, which is clearly not made for me...”
He was looking straight into his band-mate’s eyes while saying those icy words.
He was thinking all that for real.
“...and why are you still here then?”
Of all those things Sho wanted to ask, the most cruel one was the first who came out... probably due to his rising anger.
“Because I am a fool, as you had already smartly observed. I just hoped that one day we would have been on the same level once again, if I kept trying hard, just like how we were at our debut... but I probably forgot that we have never been on the same level even from the beginning. You have always been much better than me. And I can’t compete with you in anything. I can’t even hold a decent conversation with you.”
The last sentence hit Sakurai in a pang of guilt.
“This is my fault, not yours...” he mumbled quietly “And it’s not that we aren’t on the same level... this is just crap! You are the most talented singer and skilled dancer among us. You have always been doing your job in a remarkable way, you’re a pro as much as I am.”
“...but you still don’t consider me a person worth of your company, isn’t that right?” concluded the shorter man
“This is not true. It’s just that Matsujun has always adored me and to keep up the pace with me he just copies everything I do!! ...That’s why it’s so easy to hang out with him!” the newscaster exclaimed in self defence
“But if we talk about his own inner personality... he can’t being compared to you. At the end, it’s all my fault for having preferred the easy way instead of the right one.”
Ohno stared at his band-mate in confusion, not knowing at all what he was talking about.
He was about to step back and move away from him, in order to recollect his own thoughts and try to understand his words... but the grip on his wrist was still too strong.
“The reason why I’ve gradually drifted away from you...” Sho started talking again, in a flow of thoughts that he didn’t want to stop now “...is because I wasn’t able to handle my own feelings. But trust me, if I had ever imagined that you were going to get hurt, I’d have never acted this way!!”
The confusion on Ohno’s face was even more evident now.
He had always been seeking for Sho’s friendship, for a long time he had missed their conversations, his advices, his company... but now it seemed like that they were talking about something else.
“What... feelings?”
“I don’t know if it is my friendship that you have been missing, but there’s something else that I’ve always felt. It was getting harder and harder every single day, to be so close to you and yet not ever let myself go... and you didn’t even seem to care much about me, always having Nino all over you... it didn’t seem as though you were missing me... so I’ve never felt guilty. Now it seems that I should have been more attentive, after all.”
Those words sounded nice indeed, but Ohno couldn’t understand yet what he was driving at...
“You probably won’t understand, but I suppose it’s time for me to be completely honest with you, at last.”
Sho took a deep breath and looked at his band-mate’s eyes, in a kind of begging look.
As if he were saying “sorry” beforehand.
A moment later, he was bringing his lips close to Ohno’s, still grabbing his arm with his right hand, and stroking his nape with the other, caressing softly his hair with the tip of his fingers... his whole posture expressed his intention of not letting him escape, since this was his greatest worry.
But the Arashi’s leader didn’t move.
He stood right there, savouring Sho’s taste on his own lips, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed against his own, feeling his pleasant smell...
...until the rapper stepped back, all of a sudden.
“I’m sorry for kissing you...” he babbled “...actually no, I’m not.”
He didn’t look as confident as he usually was.
But he looked sincere, and so is his feelings.
“This, and lot more, is what I have been craving for a long time. And I know that this is not what you were looking for, that’s why I’ve always held back.”
“I see...”
The Arashi leader was now back to his usual silent mode.
He looked at Sho, who was quite agitated at the moment, then he brought his own hand up to his own face, brushing his own lips trying to understand the peculiar sensation he had been feeling during the kiss.
None of those things that the rapper had told him was something he had been expecting.
Especially not the kiss.
“It felt pleasant though...” he mumbled at last, more to himself than actually to his friend.
“Did it?”
Sakurai beamed with joy.
He may have a chance. He may have an opportunity. There may have a possibility!!
“It didn’t last long though... I have to check it one more time.”
He didn’t ask for permission, he didn’t gave any significant look to his friend before acting, he didn’t gave him the time to move away nor welcome him.... he just took a step forward and clashed his own lips against Sho’s.
He felt again the pleasant taste, the warmth, the smell... and that lingering inner sensation that he wasn’t able to recognize, but indeed made him feel like the happiest person on earth...
He wanted more.
He didn’t want it to end soon.
He moved his hands on Sakurai’s body, stroking his neck with the right one and caressing his back with the other... he could feel Sho’s hands doing the same with him, sending him shivers down his spine whenever he would brush against his naked skin.
Oh yes, he had just gotten out of the shower... until that moment Ohno had almost forgotten that he was naked under his vest.
And when the rapper put his own leg between the leader’s thighs, he realized it too.
His erection must have been quite evident with no clothes on...
Without ever moving away from the kiss, he felt Sho’s smile against his lips and realized that he was delighted by the whole situation... and he couldn’t hold back a low sigh when his band-mate started to brush slowly against him.
Sho’s crotch was moving back and forward, up and down... and Ohno’s member reacted to any movement, with his knees getting weaker and weaker.
He was struggling into his arms, not wanting to break the kiss yet unable to stand still and bear that pleasant torture.
But when Sakurai’s hand moved down to grab his hardness, he simply couldn’t hold himself back, bending his head backwards and letting out a soft cry...
“You’re liking this” affirmed simply the newscaster, with a smirk.
No words came in response, but the Arashi leader tightened his grip on Sho’s shoulder, mumbling lowly.
“You are too vulnerable right now...” Sakurai started talking again, with a kind of hoarse voice that Ohno was sure to have never heard before “...I could do anything to you right now, and you wouldn’t push me away...”
He suddenly stopped moving.
He wasn’t sure whether he was doing the right thing.
But Ohno was.
He stretched his arm in order to grab Sho’s wrist and posed it again on his own member.
“I’m not vulnerable. I was drunk yesterday night, not now. I know what we are doing and I know what I want...”
An imperceptible movement from Sho, and he squirmed under his touch.
“...As for now, I don’t want you to stop.”
Without saying anything else, the rapper approached to his neck, planting soft kisses on the line from his ear to his collarbone, and started stroking him again.
Then he took a step forward, making Ohno walk backwards until they reached the small couch in a corner of the room, making his lover fall on it.
With that move he temporarily lost the grip on the leader’s body, but he soon took advantage of the new position: towering over him, he positioned a knee between his legs and his hands at the side of his head... then he assaulted him once again, devouring his lips and his neck, shifting slowly towards his lower body.
As for Ohno, he couldn’t do anything but surrender under those kisses.
He could feel his skin burning everytime Sho would touch him, and he felt like giving him more and more access to his body, in order to let him continue his treatment without ever stopping... and when Sho opened his vest, he didn’t bother.
He knew that he was naked, he knew that he was being stared at, he knew that he was showing something he would have never thought to show him... but all those thoughts were relegated in a corner of his mind, completely covered by the incredible pleasure he was feeling.
And when he felt Sho’s lips closing around his own member, he felt like exploding.
He opened his eyes wide with surprise, and looked down at him... an incredibly sexy Sakurai Sho was sucking him off, gorgeously.
With his own legs spread wide, and his lover’s head bobbing right in the middle, he felt incredibly erotic.
He could have come only by looking at him... and he was about to, considering how much he felt his own member throbbing.
But Sho was particularly skilled in his “job”, and he didn’t ever let Ohno to get too close to his climax, by reducing the intensity of his movements with a perfect timing: he would slow down, lick him throughout his length, then cup his balls and engulf him once again, making him moan desperately every single time.
This was until Ohno couldn’t take it more, and started begging desperately.
“Please please please...”
He arched his back on the couch, thrusting forward his pelvis... looking for something that wasn’t going to come, yet was so close.
And even though the sight of his naked leader moaning and aroused was simply gorgeous, Sakurai was kind enough to please him... by accelerating the rhythm with his hands and mouth, and letting him experience his climax.
It took him a few minutes to recollect himself.
But when he finally came to his senses, the Arashi leader realized fully what had happened.
He suddenly opened his eyes and looked at his feet, where Sakurai was sitting cross-legged, waiting patiently... and when he noticed his gaze, he smiled gently.
“I guess you liked it, am I right?”
Ohno nodded.
“I hope I hadn’t gone too far...” Sho spoke again, expressing his inner thoughts.
To express his own feelings had been quite an achievement, after years of silence and denial... but to actually do what he had just done... he wasn’t sure whether it had been a smart move.
But during those moments, he had never thought, not even for an instant, that he had done something wrong, and he desperately wanted to think that his inner instinct could be trusted...
“What is going to happen, from now on?” Ohno’s sudden question interrupted his flow of thoughts “Between you and me, I mean. Are we going to get back to what we were at the beginning... or are we going to pretend that none of this had happened... or what?”
“I wouldn’t choose neither of those options” replied Sho without thinking much “Can’t we simply start something completely new? Something that we had never tried before...”
“If this “something new” includes me kissing you, it’s okay.” mumbled the leader in a half smile, bending towards his mate “...and you should be allowed as well to do all your wonderful tricks to me.”
“Great!”
Sho grinned widely, placing a soft kiss on his lips “There’s so much more I absolutely need to show you... ♥”
~ * ~ * ~
Owari ^o^
Please please please share your thoughts with me! ^^