(no subject)
Things I'm scared of at the doctor's office:
- She'll ask what exactly it is that I do on the Internet that keeps me up late at night (I've said fan fiction and web comics; I'm scared she'll ask for details about either).
- She'll ask about something we talked about in a previous session, and I won't know because I have the attention span and memory of a goldfish.
- Or I'll give inconsistent answers about something because I have the attention span and memory of a goldfish.
- My tendency to exaggerate little things and understate big things will give a bad/false impression.
- I've told her I get discouraged by how little I feel like I'm accomplishing with my life, so OF COURSE work starts going well, and I finish my taxes, and I look into new hobbies like cosplay, and I clean my apartment, and my coworker gives me a new(er) TV, and I need a place to put it and get these books off the floor while I'm at it, so I need furniture...
- - and since I'm accomplishing things (little stupid meaningless things that I should have been doing anyway because that's basic stuff) I feel better (for what, being a basic self-supporting human being?)
So basically, now I'm stressing about not being depressed enough to deserve the help I'm trying to get for those other times when I'm flipping out, hitting myself on desks, scaring the coworkers, etc.
- She'll ask what exactly it is that I do on the Internet that keeps me up late at night (I've said fan fiction and web comics; I'm scared she'll ask for details about either).
- She'll ask about something we talked about in a previous session, and I won't know because I have the attention span and memory of a goldfish.
- Or I'll give inconsistent answers about something because I have the attention span and memory of a goldfish.
- My tendency to exaggerate little things and understate big things will give a bad/false impression.
- I've told her I get discouraged by how little I feel like I'm accomplishing with my life, so OF COURSE work starts going well, and I finish my taxes, and I look into new hobbies like cosplay, and I clean my apartment, and my coworker gives me a new(er) TV, and I need a place to put it and get these books off the floor while I'm at it, so I need furniture...
- - and since I'm accomplishing things (little stupid meaningless things that I should have been doing anyway because that's basic stuff) I feel better (for what, being a basic self-supporting human being?)
So basically, now I'm stressing about not being depressed enough to deserve the help I'm trying to get for those other times when I'm flipping out, hitting myself on desks, scaring the coworkers, etc.