It's February again?
I realized I haven't posted in a long time, so I figured I should.
I'm still in love with Namie Amuro. I haven't stopped listening to her, but now I'mma Be is just as stuck. [My downstairs apartment neighbors have started to play their bass heavy music. I kind of want to punch them. My roommate had already called the cops on them before.] When will I ever stop listening to crazy music? NEVAR.
I haven't stopped having a crazy love life either. Went over to Boy-I-Liked's place, which was fun and dandy, but I haven't talked to him since (which is half my doing, but whatever). I really like being with him (how I am around him, how he's like in person, how he smells), but long distance isn't my shindig baby, because I pull shit like Drom's-Boy.
On top of that WoW-Boy always chats me up whenever I'm online. He calls it harmless flirting. I'm not sure what it is, but I've told him I don't see a future in it (ahaha, too bad Canada kid). He's also one of those SELF PROCLAIMED nice guys. It kind of pisses me off because evidently the world is against him which is obviously cause for a pity party. (I'm not usually this mean to this guy [should I be like this to people] but right now, everything is unforgivable).
My GM likes talking to me. I'm reading too much into this (so I hope.)
A friend from Drom's has asked me out on a date. He wants to go to SF tomorrow(tonight), to go to Japantown. I intend on telling him I can be in a relationship but I definitely have feelings for another guy. Is that stupid? Is this me being greedy? I don't know. He's nice, and isn't a total jackass about games or whatever. I'm slightly conflicted, but all I can think of is just going with the flow because I'm not good at being a dam (ahaha, mixed metaphors. I rock).Anyways, this is me trying to be honest. I think this is the best way. I have no idea. Quynh's calling me a teasey toilet and I'm feeling like I'm supposed to barf or something.
On top of all of this, I just want to find a girlfriend all of the sudden, just to change it up a bit. I think its because boys are so goddamn irritating right now, but GODDAMN going to Gay clubs totally doesn't make this any better. (Also, my mom has flat out told me that she doesn't want me to ever turn lesbian for Daisy. Ever. Evidently dealing with just my bro has given her so much stress that if I did too...(and she drops off) Thanks mom. Thanks for being so warm and loving to whatever I can become) [and on top of that, what the hell? SINCE WHEN HAS SHE EVER DICTATED WHO I COULD OR NOT DATE? WUT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN]
---->Translation: what's most infuriating is the fact that that. I can't even put it into words. She totally doesn't know me? that's what its feeling like. Like, honestly, what right does she have to say something like that? 1) I can't ever be lesbian, WTF. 2) What does she have against Daisy? [omg, does best friend mean nothing?] 3) does the fact that I've been dating guys since I was 16 ring any bells? 4) OMG WHAT DOES IT MATTER, WHY DID SHE HAVE TO OPEN HER MOUTH? EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVER.
God, every single time I think about this, it irritates me. I can't stop being irritated. She's coming up this saturday. I'm so irritated. GRRRAWRRAWRRAWR.
[Bits of the conversation are filtering back to me; how her friends like to try and rest their feet on her lap or something, but she finds it SO HOMOSEXUAL, IT MUST BE BANNED RAWR. i mean, wtf. rly. reeeaaally? *wants to punch something so bad atm]
I really miss talking to Morgan and Jill, but feel like I'd ruin the conversation with how fucked up I feel right now.
Oh, I failed to mention, I've been sleeping at 3-5 in the morning. Daisy calls me Exhausted. I don't feel exhausted, but I'm definitely not Awesome. I can't read how my body is anymore; I'm so fucked up.
Want to Buy Advice, please?
PPPPPS: There'll be a happier post, for reals, later, about how I don't feel like the ugliest kid in teh cesspool of life, but right now I'm not feeling it.
I'm still in love with Namie Amuro. I haven't stopped listening to her, but now I'mma Be is just as stuck. [My downstairs apartment neighbors have started to play their bass heavy music. I kind of want to punch them. My roommate had already called the cops on them before.] When will I ever stop listening to crazy music? NEVAR.
I haven't stopped having a crazy love life either. Went over to Boy-I-Liked's place, which was fun and dandy, but I haven't talked to him since (which is half my doing, but whatever). I really like being with him (how I am around him, how he's like in person, how he smells), but long distance isn't my shindig baby, because I pull shit like Drom's-Boy.
On top of that WoW-Boy always chats me up whenever I'm online. He calls it harmless flirting. I'm not sure what it is, but I've told him I don't see a future in it (ahaha, too bad Canada kid). He's also one of those SELF PROCLAIMED nice guys. It kind of pisses me off because evidently the world is against him which is obviously cause for a pity party. (I'm not usually this mean to this guy [should I be like this to people] but right now, everything is unforgivable).
My GM likes talking to me. I'm reading too much into this (so I hope.)
A friend from Drom's has asked me out on a date. He wants to go to SF tomorrow(tonight), to go to Japantown. I intend on telling him I can be in a relationship but I definitely have feelings for another guy. Is that stupid? Is this me being greedy? I don't know. He's nice, and isn't a total jackass about games or whatever. I'm slightly conflicted, but all I can think of is just going with the flow because I'm not good at being a dam (ahaha, mixed metaphors. I rock).Anyways, this is me trying to be honest. I think this is the best way. I have no idea. Quynh's calling me a teasey toilet and I'm feeling like I'm supposed to barf or something.
On top of all of this, I just want to find a girlfriend all of the sudden, just to change it up a bit. I think its because boys are so goddamn irritating right now, but GODDAMN going to Gay clubs totally doesn't make this any better. (Also, my mom has flat out told me that she doesn't want me to ever turn lesbian for Daisy. Ever. Evidently dealing with just my bro has given her so much stress that if I did too...(and she drops off) Thanks mom. Thanks for being so warm and loving to whatever I can become) [and on top of that, what the hell? SINCE WHEN HAS SHE EVER DICTATED WHO I COULD OR NOT DATE? WUT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN]
---->Translation: what's most infuriating is the fact that that. I can't even put it into words. She totally doesn't know me? that's what its feeling like. Like, honestly, what right does she have to say something like that? 1) I can't ever be lesbian, WTF. 2) What does she have against Daisy? [omg, does best friend mean nothing?] 3) does the fact that I've been dating guys since I was 16 ring any bells? 4) OMG WHAT DOES IT MATTER, WHY DID SHE HAVE TO OPEN HER MOUTH? EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVER.
God, every single time I think about this, it irritates me. I can't stop being irritated. She's coming up this saturday. I'm so irritated. GRRRAWRRAWRRAWR.
[Bits of the conversation are filtering back to me; how her friends like to try and rest their feet on her lap or something, but she finds it SO HOMOSEXUAL, IT MUST BE BANNED RAWR. i mean, wtf. rly. reeeaaally? *wants to punch something so bad atm]
I really miss talking to Morgan and Jill, but feel like I'd ruin the conversation with how fucked up I feel right now.
Oh, I failed to mention, I've been sleeping at 3-5 in the morning. Daisy calls me Exhausted. I don't feel exhausted, but I'm definitely not Awesome. I can't read how my body is anymore; I'm so fucked up.
Want to Buy Advice, please?
PPPPPS: There'll be a happier post, for reals, later, about how I don't feel like the ugliest kid in teh cesspool of life, but right now I'm not feeling it.