(no subject)
life is going back to normal. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
this weekend was o-so-lame. friday me n ash went to don pablos for the classic quesadillas and margaritas :) yay! then we rented movies and bummed.
saturday i went to work and felt "left out" over pizza. go fig that pizza could piss me off the way it did! (long story that i won't even get into!) came home and rented alfie. (EVERY GUY DESERVES TO SEE THIS MOVIE!) then, i'm sitting on the couch and i hear my text go off. i was shocked, cause only freddy messages me. and i look and it's brian nelson! lol. nice shocker, huh? but i was all confused cause all it said was, "fever". so i was like, "what?!" and he's like, "easy". so by this time i'm HIGHLY confused. and i didn't know what he was talking about or what to say back so i was like, "ur easy :)" and he must have found that funny cause the texting went on until 3 in the morning. til i got home and fell asleep. last text i sent to him was, "where are you?" before i passed out.
so easter sunday i get up at 1 (no church, that deserves 10 hail mary's) and i'm not thinking about the text or anything and all of a sudden i hear it go off. and i look and brian's like, "in my bed". and i'm like, "happy easter babe. and what about your bed?" he's like, "that's where i'm at". i was like, "niiiiice. besides the nice mental image, why are you telling me that?" he's like, "you asked where i was" and i'm like, "yea, last night. good job though hahaha! here i am thinking i got a sexy message saying 'hey i'm in my bed'" and he's like, "you are i'm not hung over." HA! kid's so retarded! so he was sitting around doing nothing. and telling me how gary and ed were going to be with aunt lorainne and how he "wasn't invited". but i'm sure that wasn't really the case, he just get's weird with that whole situation. and then he was like, "you wanna meet up for drinks later?" and i was like, "if you know somewhere that is going to be open because i think things close early" and he's like, "or i can just come and sit around with you and we can catch up". and I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER. so i stopped texting and i did a run through the house and a slide down the hallway and into jades room with a big smile on my face and my mom's like, "what now?!" and i'm like, "ME AND BRIAN MIGHT BE GOING OUT LATER!" she's like, "so?" i'm like, "SO! ... SO HE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO HAVE MY BABIES AGAIN AND HE THINKS NADINE NELSON HAS A NICE RING TO IT!" hahahahahahah! that's when my mom called me crazy and told me to lay off the crack rocks. lol. but anyways, me and brian didn't end up hanging out cause me and twig went to dinner at champs and rented spongebob squarepants the movie! lol. it was funny.
monday was ba-hor-a-hing. work was gay. talked to nancy about fag boy. i guess he said he was "hurt" and he knew eventually me and joann would talk but he didn't think it would be a gush fest. and he didn't know what to say to me or how to respond to my text (i sent him one saying that i care about him and i just want him to be happy and i didn't want it to end bad just because it wasn't good for me blah blah blah) so he just wasn't going to. and i guess nancy was like, "i think he just doesn't know how to talk to you now, and he can't just be friends with you, because he does want to be with you and he doesn't know how. and he feels like if he talks to you it will just continue." i was like, "no it wouldn't. because that's the last thing that will ever happen. if he wants to salvage some sort of relationship, even though it wouldn't come close to being a friendship, he could. but fuck that "hurt" bullshit because he made his choice 3 times! and it wasn't me. i gave him what he always wanted, her... oh, and why he blows up the gush fest is beyond me. i didn't tell her EVERYTHING. if i did i would have told her, "oh and remember that nice hickey he had on his neck and that he laughed off and convinced you that you gave him? yeah that was me you dumb bitch!" and nanc just started cracking up. it's the truth, i could have really got his ass. but not like it really matters because in the end she's still clinging for dear life. in the end, as sick as it is, maybe they do deserve each other because he knows he can't really be faithful (definitely not to her at least) and she thinks he can. so that's perfect. dumb and dumber. as for me, i was really fucking messed up for a few days thinking, "how could he do that... i know how he really feels... he's only doing this for her because blah blah blah" and then one morning i just smacked myself and said, "FUCK IT!" because he can be with her for all i care. he'll be sorry like every other guy is after i want nothing to do with them and i kill them off in my mind and feel NOTHING for them ever again. it's already started. i don't look at him (if i even look at him at all) and feel like i just want to grab him and hug him and let him know how i feel. and i don't carry my phone next to me the whole time i'm at home just "in case" he calls. and i deleted his number out of my phone. (that's a WOW! right there. i still haven't deleted DAVE LEY'S #. you know, toothbrush boy). i don't know why i act to suprised and depressed when it happens over and over and over. it's just another tally on the board and another lesson. and then i pick myself back up and go on to do the man-hating thing for awhile.
but good news is, nelson came at a perfect time to kinda make me feel better. i think me and him are going out for dinner tonight. :) yippy skippy! too bad i didn't do my hair this morning and threw it up, and now i might have to go home and reshower and do EVERYTHING all over again. oh well.
closing thought: if there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.
this weekend was o-so-lame. friday me n ash went to don pablos for the classic quesadillas and margaritas :) yay! then we rented movies and bummed.
saturday i went to work and felt "left out" over pizza. go fig that pizza could piss me off the way it did! (long story that i won't even get into!) came home and rented alfie. (EVERY GUY DESERVES TO SEE THIS MOVIE!) then, i'm sitting on the couch and i hear my text go off. i was shocked, cause only freddy messages me. and i look and it's brian nelson! lol. nice shocker, huh? but i was all confused cause all it said was, "fever". so i was like, "what?!" and he's like, "easy". so by this time i'm HIGHLY confused. and i didn't know what he was talking about or what to say back so i was like, "ur easy :)" and he must have found that funny cause the texting went on until 3 in the morning. til i got home and fell asleep. last text i sent to him was, "where are you?" before i passed out.
so easter sunday i get up at 1 (no church, that deserves 10 hail mary's) and i'm not thinking about the text or anything and all of a sudden i hear it go off. and i look and brian's like, "in my bed". and i'm like, "happy easter babe. and what about your bed?" he's like, "that's where i'm at". i was like, "niiiiice. besides the nice mental image, why are you telling me that?" he's like, "you asked where i was" and i'm like, "yea, last night. good job though hahaha! here i am thinking i got a sexy message saying 'hey i'm in my bed'" and he's like, "you are i'm not hung over." HA! kid's so retarded! so he was sitting around doing nothing. and telling me how gary and ed were going to be with aunt lorainne and how he "wasn't invited". but i'm sure that wasn't really the case, he just get's weird with that whole situation. and then he was like, "you wanna meet up for drinks later?" and i was like, "if you know somewhere that is going to be open because i think things close early" and he's like, "or i can just come and sit around with you and we can catch up". and I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER. so i stopped texting and i did a run through the house and a slide down the hallway and into jades room with a big smile on my face and my mom's like, "what now?!" and i'm like, "ME AND BRIAN MIGHT BE GOING OUT LATER!" she's like, "so?" i'm like, "SO! ... SO HE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO HAVE MY BABIES AGAIN AND HE THINKS NADINE NELSON HAS A NICE RING TO IT!" hahahahahahah! that's when my mom called me crazy and told me to lay off the crack rocks. lol. but anyways, me and brian didn't end up hanging out cause me and twig went to dinner at champs and rented spongebob squarepants the movie! lol. it was funny.
monday was ba-hor-a-hing. work was gay. talked to nancy about fag boy. i guess he said he was "hurt" and he knew eventually me and joann would talk but he didn't think it would be a gush fest. and he didn't know what to say to me or how to respond to my text (i sent him one saying that i care about him and i just want him to be happy and i didn't want it to end bad just because it wasn't good for me blah blah blah) so he just wasn't going to. and i guess nancy was like, "i think he just doesn't know how to talk to you now, and he can't just be friends with you, because he does want to be with you and he doesn't know how. and he feels like if he talks to you it will just continue." i was like, "no it wouldn't. because that's the last thing that will ever happen. if he wants to salvage some sort of relationship, even though it wouldn't come close to being a friendship, he could. but fuck that "hurt" bullshit because he made his choice 3 times! and it wasn't me. i gave him what he always wanted, her... oh, and why he blows up the gush fest is beyond me. i didn't tell her EVERYTHING. if i did i would have told her, "oh and remember that nice hickey he had on his neck and that he laughed off and convinced you that you gave him? yeah that was me you dumb bitch!" and nanc just started cracking up. it's the truth, i could have really got his ass. but not like it really matters because in the end she's still clinging for dear life. in the end, as sick as it is, maybe they do deserve each other because he knows he can't really be faithful (definitely not to her at least) and she thinks he can. so that's perfect. dumb and dumber. as for me, i was really fucking messed up for a few days thinking, "how could he do that... i know how he really feels... he's only doing this for her because blah blah blah" and then one morning i just smacked myself and said, "FUCK IT!" because he can be with her for all i care. he'll be sorry like every other guy is after i want nothing to do with them and i kill them off in my mind and feel NOTHING for them ever again. it's already started. i don't look at him (if i even look at him at all) and feel like i just want to grab him and hug him and let him know how i feel. and i don't carry my phone next to me the whole time i'm at home just "in case" he calls. and i deleted his number out of my phone. (that's a WOW! right there. i still haven't deleted DAVE LEY'S #. you know, toothbrush boy). i don't know why i act to suprised and depressed when it happens over and over and over. it's just another tally on the board and another lesson. and then i pick myself back up and go on to do the man-hating thing for awhile.
but good news is, nelson came at a perfect time to kinda make me feel better. i think me and him are going out for dinner tonight. :) yippy skippy! too bad i didn't do my hair this morning and threw it up, and now i might have to go home and reshower and do EVERYTHING all over again. oh well.
closing thought: if there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.