i'll never compare
You have no idea what you have done to me. You have come into my life and fucked me up more then you can imagine and yet I think I still can't say leave me alone and mean it. You have done nothing but put me behind your friends. You have done nothing but hate me for being me and tell me that you can't stand me. You have never simply just hug me or take my hand and squeezed it. You have never done anything because you wanted to but only because you thought you had to. You wouldn't hold my hand back and you couldn't even hug me back. You have the balls to be mad at me but your the one that lied. I know what I did was wrong. I've done nothing but beat myself up for it but at least I told you. At least I had the balls to tell you with out having to be asked but you...you lied to me, not once but twice. You said you didn't and then you said you did and then you said you went back for another round. The best part is your reasoning. I needed to see if it felt right. Boy did feel amazing. If it didn't feel right you would have known after the first time but having a big muscle man with a job and money was what you wanted. You didn't give to flying fuck's about me or us yet here I sat waiting. All I can do is think what it was like. His big arms wrapped around you as he pounds you and does to you what I can't. As you moan and grab onto him because it feels so good the whole time thinking nothing about me or us. Then you go back for more and then try and tell me I'm better. I was never and never will be better. I will never be anything you want or crave or desire. I was never anything to you. I will never have money. I will never be able to please you the way he or somebody else can. I hope it was worth it. Keep going back for all I care. Truth is there and the truth is everything you have ever said has been a lie. My loss i guess. Tomorrow is a new day, hopefully a little bit brighter then this one.