( voice; )

[yourgoddamnit]

[ Karkat coughs loudly, then sucks in a breath. His voice is quieter and even more hoarse than usual. Despite how desperately sick he is, somehow he manages to keep any grunts of pain to a minimum. ]

CAN'T EVEN FUCKING TYPE

Comments

text;

[crotchroses]

Some bastards stole our skins, impersonated us, some other bastards offered a solution which was killing the copies and digging out coins from their livers.

I have no idea why we're sick. Must be something to do with both groups of bastards.

...

Apparently it thought you were some kind of coconut thief. Non I have no idea what that means except that it's stupid. This entire situation is stupid.

I feel like shit.

Rum helps.

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

TYPING IS PAIN BUT FUCK IT.
THANKS.
GOOD ENOUGH EXPLANATION FOR NOW.
I'LL RAGE ABOUT MY IMPOSTOR LATER.
TRIED TO WATCH MY PREVIOUS BROADCAST.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT DID NOT HELP MY CURRENT STATE OF WISHING FOR DEATH.

WHAT'S RUM?

text; is it me or are they bonding over their mutual abilities to hate things

[crotchroses]

You and I have every right to this rage. I cannot believe it. No, I can believe it, but that doesn't make it any less one large pile of steaming excrement.

... You don't-- What?

You poor child. Ah, right! You're one of those from that planet Alternia.

Rum is an alcoholic beverage distilled and I don't care to explain how. It's one of many drinks that causes numbness, the lack of inhibitions and also causes unconsciousness.

Also if one drinks too much of it, one may find that one has done certain things without remembering them at all.

Oh and if you drink too much alcohol, you'll throw up, and if you drink way too much, you'll die! Humans do, anyway.

Most of the alcohol on this planet tastes like shit, but if you want to take something for your cough, it works wonders.

I probably shouldn't be telling this to you since you are young, yes? But whatever I don't care.

text; counting down until the day karkat can say JE NE SAIS PAS MOTHERFUCKER

[yourgoddamnit]

...I WANT SOME.

text; BEST BATTLE CRY EVER

[crotchroses]

You'll have to find some on your own! I'm not even in Spero anymore.

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

NEITHER AM I.
NOW GIVE ME.

text;

[crotchroses]

You're too young.

I guess I do care.

Merde.

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

TOO YOUNG BY WHOSE STANDARDS?
FUCK YOU.
I'M IN AGONY.
IF I'M NOT TOO YOUNG FOR THIS AMOUNT OF HUSK-SHAKING PAIN
THEN I'M NOT TOO YOUNG FOR RELIEF.

text;

[crotchroses]

You're playing to my naturally generous instincts but my patience is already thin. It's a fine line you're walking, my young friend.

Life is pain! Deal with it.

Also, I have an excellent way to figure this out if you'll sit and listen. Or read, whatever.

Have you reached biological maturity?

text; 1/2

[yourgoddamnit]

DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT LIFE IS PAIN.
I ALREADY KNOW.

[ whereas he'd usually rant and rave at this point, he just leaves it be for now. sob. ]

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

...I'M WARY OF WHAT YOU'LL DO WITH THAT INFORMATION IF I ANSWER EITHER WAY.

text;

[crotchroses]

I'll take that as a no.

If that's the case, then you're too young! It's as simple as that. Ask a doctor for something that will stop the cough and then request something to knock you unconscious, be it a fist or medicine.

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

YOU'RE ONLY PRESUMING I HAVEN'T REACHED MATURITY.
AND IS THIS REALLY MORE HARMFUL THAN A FIST?

text;

[crotchroses]

Answering me wouldn't be an issue if you had, would it?

It can be! That might depend on the fist. That's a terrible comparison though. Lots of things are more harmful than fists.

text;

[yourgoddamnit]

I'VE SEEN THE FILMS WARNING ME ABOUT THE WHITE VANS AND PROMISES OF CANDY.
EXCEPT THERE IS NO CANDY.
ONLY HORROR.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO BE MORE HARMFUL THAN A FIST?
MY FUCKING BLADE IN YOUR THORAX IF YOU DON'T HAND OVER THE NUMBING JUICE.

text;

[crotchroses]

You're rude so

You're six.

Six.

Why are you so young?!

And so rude...