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[yourgoddamnit]

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] RIGHT NOW posted to board A CITY IN WHICH THERE IS A LIMITED AMOUNT OF LIGHT AND IS NAMED AFTER AN EATING UTENSIL; INFESTED WITH AWKWARD TEENAGE GIRLS; ONE IN PARTICULAR IS A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE WITH ALL THE GRACE OF A QUACKBEAST WITH ANTIFREEZE POISONING; SHE ATTRACTS THE ATTENTION OF AN EFFEMINATE RAINBOW DRINKER WITH AN

Comments

[thegreathonk]

WaNt To TaLk AbOuT iT?

[yourgoddamnit]

FUCK NO.

MAYBE.

[thegreathonk]

WeLl JuSt SpIlL yOuR sHiT, mAn.
My MoThErFuCkInG eArS aRe As OpEn As NePeTa'S lUsUs WhEn It YaWnS.
wHiCh Is LiKe
DoUbLe OpEn.
HoNk!
AnYwAy, WhAt'S eAtInG yOu Up, BrOtHeR?

[yourgoddamnit]

YES LET ME JUST SPILL MY DIGESTIVE TRACT TO YOU RIGHT ON THE OPEN NETWORK.
FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC IDEA, GAMZ.

NO.
IF I'M GOING TO SPILL MY SHIT
IT'S GOING TO BE SOMEWHERE MORE PRIVATE.
SOMEWHERE I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR ERI AND SOL HEAVING INTO LOAD GAPERS.

[thegreathonk]

GoOd IdEa, MaN!
i MeAn LiKe
I dOn'T wAnT tO bE aLl Up AnD rUiNiNg ThEiR cHuNk HuRlInG cOnTeSt
BuT tHaT sHiT iS nAsTy
AnD tHeY'rE rUiNiNg SoMe Of My PiEs!
Ah WeLl.
I gOt A fUcKtOn Of 'Em.
So WhErE aRe We HeAdInG, bRo?

[yourgoddamnit]

LUCKY US THAT YOU HAVE A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS SUPPLY OF THOSE MONSTROSITIES.
BENFROMLOST BETTER NOT BE SUPPLYING YOU.
I'LL KICK HIS FLIPPERBEAST ASS IF HE IS.
ANYWAY
SINCE IT'S DARK OUT
ROOF?

[thegreathonk]

BeNwHaTwHo?
WhO's ThAt?

AnD i WaS gOiNg To SuGgEsT tHe RoOf!
BuT i DiDn'T kNoW iF yOu'D hAvE a PrObLeM gEtTiNg ThErE
wItH yA kNoW...
rAiNbOw DrInKeR lIvInG uPsTaIrS aNd AlL.
bUt MaYbE hE'S aSlEeP!
rAiNbOw DrInKeRs ArE uSuAlLy OuT dUrInG tHe DaY, rIgHt?

[yourgoddamnit]

BENFROMLOST.
MY ABYSMALLY RETARDED FLIPPERBEAST.
HE LOOKS LIKE WHAT HUMANS CALL A PENGUIN, EXCEPT HE HAS WINGS AND WOOD FOR LEGS
AND HE CARRIES AROUND A KNAPSACK FULL OF SECRETS AND LIES.
HE'S ALSO A DILLHOLE.

WAIT.
THE RAINBOW DRINKER IS UPSTAIRS?
FUCK.
FUCK MY LIFE WITH A RUSTY CULLING FORK.

[thegreathonk]

OhHhH...
hE gOt FrEaKeD tHe FuCk OuT bY sTePpInG oN oNe Of My HoRnS oNcE.
aSiDe FrOm ThAt I hAvEn'T sEeN hIm.
BuT mAn,
I cAn FuCkInG sYmPaThIzE.
tHoSe HoRnS wIlL bE tHe DeAtH oF tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR iF i KeEp SuRpRiSiNg MySeLf WiTh ThEm.
ShIt.
BuT yEaH mAn I tHoUgHt ThAt'S wHeRe He LiVeD!
dEnMaRk Or WhAtEvEr.
DiDn'T wE wReCk ItS sHiT wItH eRiDaN tHaT tImE hE aTtAcKeD jApAn?

[yourgoddamnit]

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF
YOU KNOW
NOT HAVING YOUR HORNS SPLAYED OUT ALL OVER THE FUCKING FLOOR?

WAIT.
NO.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT SAD EXCUSE OF CREATION OTHERWISE KNOWN AS DENMARK.
WE'VE ALREADY WRECKED HIS SHIT, LIKE YOU SAID.
THERE'S MORE THAN ONE RAINBOW DRINKER.
THIS ONE IS EQUALLY FUCK-UGLY.
HE LOOKS LIKE THE FAILED OUTCOME OF A DNA MATCH BETWEEN JADE'S LUSUS AND BLUE COTTON CANDY
WHO THEN ATTEMPTED TO PUPATE INTO A HUMAN
AND GOT STUCK SOMEWHERE IN A NICHE OF EVOLUTION THAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE.

[thegreathonk]

WoAh.
ShIt.
We BeTtEr Be CaReFuL wHeN wE gO uPsTaIrS tHeN.

[yourgoddamnit]

NO SHIT.
IF A WEREPIRE POPS OUT
I'M USING YOU AS A MEATSHIELD.

[thegreathonk]

WeRePiReS tOo?
HoLy MoThErFuCkInG sHiT, mAn.
CaN wE gO sOmEwHeRe ElSe?
UpStAiRs SeEmS kInDa LiKe...
FuCkToWn.

[yourgoddamnit]

SO I'VE HEARD.
PRESUMABLY THE WORST OF ALL RAINBOW DRINKER SPECIES.
FOR ONCE YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT IDEA.
LET'S GO OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING.
YOU LIKE STARING BLANKLY AT THE HORIZON FROM THE SHORE, RIGHT?

[thegreathonk]

[ Your demeanor immediately brightens. ]

HeLl FuCkInG yEs I dO!
lEt'S gO!

[yourgoddamnit]

[ You make your way towards the door. You don't even have to look to affirm that your dumbass friend is following you. He always does. ]

BUT IF YOU UTTER ONE GODDAMN THING ABOUT MIRACLES
I WILL POP YOU IN THE SEEDFLAP AND LET YOU DROWN.