gerald stern has influenced me beyond recognition

[your_superqueen]

Becoming a Traitor

It’s three years now I have been living
within these city walls.

I have studied neon-the bells of traffic
lights blinking soft and brake lights glowing
in the night, the river hidden beyond a wall
of graffiti.

I want to smell the fresh paint
I want to feed small birds french fries
to study their wings, delicate
I want to find the sunrise, always hiding
behind tall buildings, haloed by ambulance
sirens bleeding into the dawn.

In one month, I will move to a new town
and leave this loud behind, I’ll wake up
in a town where good mornings are welcome.

But I will remember the smells of recycling mornings,
I will remember my small arms lifting bags of trash
to the curb.

Let us remember sitting on train tracks
at sunset, scratching lotto tickets.
Let us remember to always have hope.

I remember Fridays, we’d sit by my window
and speak of leaving, it seemed so easy
it’s so easy to dream.

I dreamed of trains, of letters outweighing bills
in the mailbox, of words from you to me.

Now I stand on empty floorboards,
admiring the town I swore to hate.

And now, you see, I am standing on the city wall
watching the highway below, holding open
a door for anyone to join me.