i am tired and sore after fourteen hours on a cramped bus crossing the continent (berlin-hannover-brussels-paris, with a short stop around midnight for coffee, cigarettes and bad spaghetti at a little canteen). i have clean clothes, my bag is thankfully infestation free, my room was clean and welcoming. i am still employed. i have no food thanks to my pre-departure purge but the monoprix is open until ten, and although i am cold my little heater promises to keep me warm (if i can stop being afraid of using it.) paris, for better or for worse, is exactly as i left it.
but berlin...
if i had my way i'd quit both jobs, transfer my savings, learn german and get myself a little coldwater flat in the east, with a cat and a gas stove and a window overlooking the aboveground u-bahn and give myself over to, as a friend of a friend so poignantly put it, 'thinking'...
"because that's all that the young people here are doing. you ask, what are you doing in berlin? and they'll say, oh, just thinking..."