Out.
"I need to go on the internet, I'm so stupid. Internet. Stupid. Stupid. Internet. Stupid. Stupid. Pain. Stupid. Tragedy. Stupid. Missing. Stupid. Love. Stupid. Care. Stupid. Love. Stupid. Care. Stupid. Loss. Stupid. Fuck-up. Stupid. Isolation. Stupid. Hate. Stupid. Self. Stupid. Alone. Stupid. Lost. Stupid. Gone." I feel more lost than I'll probably ever be in my entire life. I know what I want. But I know I'm not going to get it. I don't try hard. But I do. There are so many people I love. But I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter. I want to be something. But I end up not. I try new things, and stick to the old. I try to fit in. But I don't. I want to talk. But I never do. I like to listen. But thats all I do. I try to open people. But all I do is close myself to them. I try to be happy. But it only ends out ruining me. I think too much. And no matter what anyone says, I internalize everything, think about the past, idealize every situation, interigate everyones problems, and daze out, more than anyone does. I'm not steady, but I will never do anything to ruin our friendship, and if I do, I'm sorry, its not because of you, its because I think I'm not good enough for you. I tend to ruin things, you'll notice that. I don't get what I need in life. And think about your bare necessities, yes, those I do not get enough of. Im way dumber than you could think, because I don't even speak, I don't talk. And even when I do, its not enough. I don't speak enough for my own good. And always regret it. I'm my own worst mess. If you care to have read all this, help. Clean me up. Please.