A day of coffee, hyukjae and silly conversations.
title: A day of coffee, hyukjae and silly conversations.
pairing: donghae/eunhyuk. donghae-centric
genre: crack, fluff, slight!angst
rating: PG-13
warning: fail! crack, my first attempt at crack and a fanfic in general. as well as slight!sexual references, not explict.
disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned except soojeon who I have no bloody idea how I managed to think of that name.
and also this is for the suju 100 challenge, 009. the theme being coffee
summary: “What? Your penis?”
Stirring, stirring, sigh.
Stirring, stirring, sigh.
It went on like that for approximately 30 minutes and 46 seco- wait no, 49 seconds now, but who gives a flying banana split how long he's been sitting his fine, fine, ass on the wooden seat, it's why the hell all that reaches his ears are soft clink sounds when the metal utensil makes contact with glazed ceramic.
The atmosphere on another perspective would be simply to put it, peaceful, with the carefree, jazz music with the acoustic guitars and complimenting saxophones waltzing through the café soothing ear drums as well as luring eye lids to conquer and close in relaxation. But no, there is one mopey dick staring at what seems like an endless pool of black liquid, propping his head on his left hand and stirring his coffee with disinterest, the steam and bubbles showing it was once a freshly brewed fluid, now long gone. His eyes were distant, thoughts and emotions clouding his troubled mind unlike the sheets of baby blue located above the roof sheltering his head.
It’s now around 34 minutes and 23 seconds, there’s an appearance of the white cup placed on his slightly chapped lips, (bloody finally a development on his actions) taking a hesitant sip, he was greeted by a taste bud explosion of bland luke warm shit as he’d put it. He shoves the crap back onto the table not so lightly and far from his reach, earning disapproving looks from customers and a glare from an old man reading his newspaper. No one disrupts an old man’s love for his daily newspaper.
‘Where’s the damn burning of my throat when I need it’ mumbling a string of curses afterwards, his brown orbs darkens ever so slightly. But of course his coffee wouldn’t be the scorching hot heaven on his tongue, he was after all too busy thinking of her. “You have disappointed me darth vader” (yes he names his black coffee, he obviously has nothing better to do) He laughed bitterly at the realisation of his antics, tears stinging the corners of his eyes “no wonder she dumped me, I’m as crazy as fuck” lips trembling, hands balling into fists. The brunette wipes his nonexistent snot with the back of his sleeve which he does constantly, a habit that would look disgusting if someone else were to do it but he’s lucky he was born with sexy genes (so he says) so it somewhat looks unattractively attractive.
Looking out the window he wishes the weather would reflect what he’s feeling; it’s too hard to admire the beauty the world has given him when he’s been crushed and beaten on the inside. Slumping into a heap with his arms crossed on the table and head buried, his thoughts overpower him once again. Why me? Maybe the weather also pissed him off considering the girl of his dreams, his love at first sight, had once matched the weather perfectly, so serene and-
“Well you look like a ray of sunshine” a very familiar voice perks donghae’s ears as a shadow hovers overhead, He claims it as bloody annoying but he’s kidding himself, it was the voice of his other half, smooth as silk yet delicate as lace. “Fuck you” He eyes the male that slides into a seat in front of him. Him with his crimson red hair, doe eyes that are shimmering with amusement and plump lips tilted into a light smirk. Adding to that he’s flexing his biceps with the whole cliché eyebrow wiggle, though donghae was joking about that part, he just wanted to make him seem like a cocky bastard, which he is, but he can’t deny the fact he’s double the amount in that area (dismissing the ‘bastard’ and going straight to his ‘cocky’ size possibly inserting a wink here or so)
“Well sex on legs, I’ll have to check my schedule for our bed time but uh is Thursday night good for you?“ eyes teasing as hyukjae flicks through his imaginary notebook. “ Fuck, I happen to be in a miserable state you ass, so at least be sympathetic” With his eye brows furrowed, Donghae huffs and goes back to his ‘I-am-depressed-and-I-shall-gain-sympathy’ position with his head buried in his arms. Silence lingered between the two, Donghae takes that Hyukjae must now feel guilty for treating the situation light heartedly and was probably trying to find the right words to say. He feels a triumph smile tug at his lips towards Hyukjae and waits silently for his supportive speech.
“Shit you need a hair cut”
Or be an imbecile, that’s cool too.
Donghae looks up with a scowl to meet with a deadpanned face of yuck-jae who was blinking with utter boredom stitched across his face. “Did I ever mention you’re an ass?” “ye- wait no, no, you said I have an ass, a nice one too” hyukjae sends his suggestive winky-kinky face to lighten up the pretty dense mood. Donghae would’ve laughed, probably would’ve pulled a remark to do with hormonal teenagers in return, but it’s not the time right now, it’s been 41 minutes and 25 seconds now and his mood has stooped lower and lower knowing that the reality of his break-up had hit him again. Hard.
“Look, Hyukjae, as much as we both appreciate your ass may I ask why the hell you’re here, because your attempts of support or encouragement comes off as though you’re just a horn dog” incoherent mutters follow, but hyukjae thinks that it’s just donghae rambling on about her and he doesn’t care.
“Donghae, Soojeon is one of many you’ve been with-“
“You don’t understand Hyukjae, I got dumped, I never get dumped. As conceited as I may be, I treat the ladies with respect, my other break-ups were such as ‘hey I’m moving overseas for a study course’ or we simply fell out of love with each other, and then Soojeon is a different story Hyuk.. She managed to break down the fake exterior and got to me, the real me. Yesterday she thought she’d be tough and got her gal pals to pass on the message that she’s not interested anymore after a good four months of being together. What a bitch.”
“Soojeon is only one out of how many other chicks in the world Donghae? Just grow a pair and move on, life is meant to be savoured and enjoyed, not for you to be a sad sap that only admires my ass and not others, as much I like it.” Under the heap of depression a hearty chuckle escaped, making Hyukjae feel accomplished that he’s somehow cheering the lad up. “You know, I’ll always come running Hae, when you need me. You’re always cooped up here every lazy morning, and you weren’t answering my texts or calls hours a go so I came running, I was right to do so, yeah?”
The brunette doesn’t bother to suppress his grin after all it’s true, Hyukjae is always there for him, through the good and the bad, ups and downs. Hyukjae protects him physically and internally, eternally. He sets him in a straight line and makes sure he doesn’t go off course or out of bounds.
“Did… did you really come running?” it had come out rather hoarse; he must have been quietly sniffling under that mob of needed to be cut hair. 'such a cry baby hae’ Hyukjae considered saying ‘heck yeah, who do you take me for?’ to make Donghae feel a little bit better but it more came out as “well, I exaggerated, I walked, truthfully you’re not worth that much to me” of course he was joking, donghae means everything and is worth the loss of breath when he reaches the end of the street, but he’s 100% certain that donghae knows that already. “I was just trying to be meaningful and cheesy” he finishes off and then donghae laughs, loud and genuine. He sits up from his previous slouched position and wipes off his tear trail with the same sleeve he wipes his non-existent snot with “well you’re certainly a charmer” flashing his dashing smile that is more noticed by Hyukjae than the red, puffy eyes that isn’t very flattering upon his face. Though his smile slowly falls into nothing but a deep frown with his forehead creasing “But hey fuck you, I don’t need to grow a pair, they’re bigger than yours and they also happen to produce the top quality semen” Donghae brushes off the imaginary dust of his plaid shirt with self pride and tops it off with a cocky lop sided grin.
“Donghae don’t you think you’re a bit selfish? You already took Thursday’s night slot for kinky time, only one reservation per person, sugar lips” he retorts, with amusement radiating off his tongue “And who wants donghae babies? Ones that dribble and cling and no, just no, I can only handle one donghae.” Hyukjae squirms in his seat and ‘cringes’ at the admittedly cute thought.
Silence. That could only mean one thing to hyukjae, donghae was preparing a comeback.
Waiting.
Waiting.
“ ….Why are you so mean Hyukkie?” a pout shoots at his direction with puppy eyes and pretend sniffles. Oh great, he’s being bipolar again. “Fuck donghae, that hurt, you hurt my sensitive spot” Hyukjae sarcastically retaliates then dramatically clutches his heart in agony.
“What? Your penis?” a smirk plasters on his face, a clear victory in the frenzied argument.
“Asswipe”
“Cum face”
“Are you implying I’m yellow? Racist fuck”
“No I’m implying my dick will be all over your face if we sit in here a minute longer, I need some fresh air”
The red head bites his bottom lip to constrain his dorky snorts and giggles and lifts the neglected coffee mug to his lips, taking a wee sip of the cold liquid. Making facials that resemble horror and repulsion he immediately settles in back down. “I still don’t understand why you like coffee, it’s bitter and gross” Hyukjae abruptly stands up and starts walking to the café entrance, signalling the brunette to follow him.
I do it to piss you off obviously he quietly chuckles, one that’s only meant for his goofy best friend Hyukjae.
It’s now been 1 hour, 58 minutes and 29 seconds. But who’s counting anymore, Donghae has better things to focus on. Like for example the weather that he’s about to enter, that he shockingly realises matches Hyukjae entirely and…
“HYUKJAE.”
“hm?”
“Damn, you have a nice ass.”
Yeah that sounds about right.
A/N so this is my first fanfic ever. and I mean ever so I'm keen to know your opinion on this and whatnot, comments are incredibly appreciated.
I felt like writing yesterday so I went to look at the suju 100 challenges prompts and so here I am! on another note I absolutely detest the f-word, and was strongly contemplating whether I should've used it, and in the end I did to give a more rich effect hahah. This piece of writing was risky as it's my first attempt at crack/humour also so yeah. There may be grammatical errors, I only briefly skimmed the finished piece twice before I got impatient hahah so there you go ^^
so again thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you all.
pairing: donghae/eunhyuk. donghae-centric
genre: crack, fluff, slight!angst
rating: PG-13
warning: fail! crack, my first attempt at crack and a fanfic in general. as well as slight!sexual references, not explict.
disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned except soojeon who I have no bloody idea how I managed to think of that name.
and also this is for the suju 100 challenge, 009. the theme being coffee
summary: “What? Your penis?”
Stirring, stirring, sigh.
Stirring, stirring, sigh.
It went on like that for approximately 30 minutes and 46 seco- wait no, 49 seconds now, but who gives a flying banana split how long he's been sitting his fine, fine, ass on the wooden seat, it's why the hell all that reaches his ears are soft clink sounds when the metal utensil makes contact with glazed ceramic.
The atmosphere on another perspective would be simply to put it, peaceful, with the carefree, jazz music with the acoustic guitars and complimenting saxophones waltzing through the café soothing ear drums as well as luring eye lids to conquer and close in relaxation. But no, there is one mopey dick staring at what seems like an endless pool of black liquid, propping his head on his left hand and stirring his coffee with disinterest, the steam and bubbles showing it was once a freshly brewed fluid, now long gone. His eyes were distant, thoughts and emotions clouding his troubled mind unlike the sheets of baby blue located above the roof sheltering his head.
It’s now around 34 minutes and 23 seconds, there’s an appearance of the white cup placed on his slightly chapped lips, (bloody finally a development on his actions) taking a hesitant sip, he was greeted by a taste bud explosion of bland luke warm shit as he’d put it. He shoves the crap back onto the table not so lightly and far from his reach, earning disapproving looks from customers and a glare from an old man reading his newspaper. No one disrupts an old man’s love for his daily newspaper.
‘Where’s the damn burning of my throat when I need it’ mumbling a string of curses afterwards, his brown orbs darkens ever so slightly. But of course his coffee wouldn’t be the scorching hot heaven on his tongue, he was after all too busy thinking of her. “You have disappointed me darth vader” (yes he names his black coffee, he obviously has nothing better to do) He laughed bitterly at the realisation of his antics, tears stinging the corners of his eyes “no wonder she dumped me, I’m as crazy as fuck” lips trembling, hands balling into fists. The brunette wipes his nonexistent snot with the back of his sleeve which he does constantly, a habit that would look disgusting if someone else were to do it but he’s lucky he was born with sexy genes (so he says) so it somewhat looks unattractively attractive.
Looking out the window he wishes the weather would reflect what he’s feeling; it’s too hard to admire the beauty the world has given him when he’s been crushed and beaten on the inside. Slumping into a heap with his arms crossed on the table and head buried, his thoughts overpower him once again. Why me? Maybe the weather also pissed him off considering the girl of his dreams, his love at first sight, had once matched the weather perfectly, so serene and-
“Well you look like a ray of sunshine” a very familiar voice perks donghae’s ears as a shadow hovers overhead, He claims it as bloody annoying but he’s kidding himself, it was the voice of his other half, smooth as silk yet delicate as lace. “Fuck you” He eyes the male that slides into a seat in front of him. Him with his crimson red hair, doe eyes that are shimmering with amusement and plump lips tilted into a light smirk. Adding to that he’s flexing his biceps with the whole cliché eyebrow wiggle, though donghae was joking about that part, he just wanted to make him seem like a cocky bastard, which he is, but he can’t deny the fact he’s double the amount in that area (dismissing the ‘bastard’ and going straight to his ‘cocky’ size possibly inserting a wink here or so)
“Well sex on legs, I’ll have to check my schedule for our bed time but uh is Thursday night good for you?“ eyes teasing as hyukjae flicks through his imaginary notebook. “ Fuck, I happen to be in a miserable state you ass, so at least be sympathetic” With his eye brows furrowed, Donghae huffs and goes back to his ‘I-am-depressed-and-I-shall-gain-sympathy’ position with his head buried in his arms. Silence lingered between the two, Donghae takes that Hyukjae must now feel guilty for treating the situation light heartedly and was probably trying to find the right words to say. He feels a triumph smile tug at his lips towards Hyukjae and waits silently for his supportive speech.
“Shit you need a hair cut”
Or be an imbecile, that’s cool too.
Donghae looks up with a scowl to meet with a deadpanned face of yuck-jae who was blinking with utter boredom stitched across his face. “Did I ever mention you’re an ass?” “ye- wait no, no, you said I have an ass, a nice one too” hyukjae sends his suggestive winky-kinky face to lighten up the pretty dense mood. Donghae would’ve laughed, probably would’ve pulled a remark to do with hormonal teenagers in return, but it’s not the time right now, it’s been 41 minutes and 25 seconds now and his mood has stooped lower and lower knowing that the reality of his break-up had hit him again. Hard.
“Look, Hyukjae, as much as we both appreciate your ass may I ask why the hell you’re here, because your attempts of support or encouragement comes off as though you’re just a horn dog” incoherent mutters follow, but hyukjae thinks that it’s just donghae rambling on about her and he doesn’t care.
“Donghae, Soojeon is one of many you’ve been with-“
“You don’t understand Hyukjae, I got dumped, I never get dumped. As conceited as I may be, I treat the ladies with respect, my other break-ups were such as ‘hey I’m moving overseas for a study course’ or we simply fell out of love with each other, and then Soojeon is a different story Hyuk.. She managed to break down the fake exterior and got to me, the real me. Yesterday she thought she’d be tough and got her gal pals to pass on the message that she’s not interested anymore after a good four months of being together. What a bitch.”
“Soojeon is only one out of how many other chicks in the world Donghae? Just grow a pair and move on, life is meant to be savoured and enjoyed, not for you to be a sad sap that only admires my ass and not others, as much I like it.” Under the heap of depression a hearty chuckle escaped, making Hyukjae feel accomplished that he’s somehow cheering the lad up. “You know, I’ll always come running Hae, when you need me. You’re always cooped up here every lazy morning, and you weren’t answering my texts or calls hours a go so I came running, I was right to do so, yeah?”
The brunette doesn’t bother to suppress his grin after all it’s true, Hyukjae is always there for him, through the good and the bad, ups and downs. Hyukjae protects him physically and internally, eternally. He sets him in a straight line and makes sure he doesn’t go off course or out of bounds.
“Did… did you really come running?” it had come out rather hoarse; he must have been quietly sniffling under that mob of needed to be cut hair. 'such a cry baby hae’ Hyukjae considered saying ‘heck yeah, who do you take me for?’ to make Donghae feel a little bit better but it more came out as “well, I exaggerated, I walked, truthfully you’re not worth that much to me” of course he was joking, donghae means everything and is worth the loss of breath when he reaches the end of the street, but he’s 100% certain that donghae knows that already. “I was just trying to be meaningful and cheesy” he finishes off and then donghae laughs, loud and genuine. He sits up from his previous slouched position and wipes off his tear trail with the same sleeve he wipes his non-existent snot with “well you’re certainly a charmer” flashing his dashing smile that is more noticed by Hyukjae than the red, puffy eyes that isn’t very flattering upon his face. Though his smile slowly falls into nothing but a deep frown with his forehead creasing “But hey fuck you, I don’t need to grow a pair, they’re bigger than yours and they also happen to produce the top quality semen” Donghae brushes off the imaginary dust of his plaid shirt with self pride and tops it off with a cocky lop sided grin.
“Donghae don’t you think you’re a bit selfish? You already took Thursday’s night slot for kinky time, only one reservation per person, sugar lips” he retorts, with amusement radiating off his tongue “And who wants donghae babies? Ones that dribble and cling and no, just no, I can only handle one donghae.” Hyukjae squirms in his seat and ‘cringes’ at the admittedly cute thought.
Silence. That could only mean one thing to hyukjae, donghae was preparing a comeback.
Waiting.
Waiting.
“ ….Why are you so mean Hyukkie?” a pout shoots at his direction with puppy eyes and pretend sniffles. Oh great, he’s being bipolar again. “Fuck donghae, that hurt, you hurt my sensitive spot” Hyukjae sarcastically retaliates then dramatically clutches his heart in agony.
“What? Your penis?” a smirk plasters on his face, a clear victory in the frenzied argument.
“Asswipe”
“Cum face”
“Are you implying I’m yellow? Racist fuck”
“No I’m implying my dick will be all over your face if we sit in here a minute longer, I need some fresh air”
The red head bites his bottom lip to constrain his dorky snorts and giggles and lifts the neglected coffee mug to his lips, taking a wee sip of the cold liquid. Making facials that resemble horror and repulsion he immediately settles in back down. “I still don’t understand why you like coffee, it’s bitter and gross” Hyukjae abruptly stands up and starts walking to the café entrance, signalling the brunette to follow him.
I do it to piss you off obviously he quietly chuckles, one that’s only meant for his goofy best friend Hyukjae.
It’s now been 1 hour, 58 minutes and 29 seconds. But who’s counting anymore, Donghae has better things to focus on. Like for example the weather that he’s about to enter, that he shockingly realises matches Hyukjae entirely and…
“HYUKJAE.”
“hm?”
“Damn, you have a nice ass.”
Yeah that sounds about right.
A/N so this is my first fanfic ever. and I mean ever so I'm keen to know your opinion on this and whatnot, comments are incredibly appreciated.
I felt like writing yesterday so I went to look at the suju 100 challenges prompts and so here I am! on another note I absolutely detest the f-word, and was strongly contemplating whether I should've used it, and in the end I did to give a more rich effect hahah. This piece of writing was risky as it's my first attempt at crack/humour also so yeah. There may be grammatical errors, I only briefly skimmed the finished piece twice before I got impatient hahah so there you go ^^
so again thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you all.