(no subject)
Okay, so Maranda, this post is specifically for you...I was originally going to put this as a reply on your journal, but naturall, it was too big to fit. Therefor, I found a way around it.
Parents....they're tricky creatures, Ranna. There's no real telling what's really going on with them...You can't really ever say you understand/know about the things they do and why.
Surprisingly...they're human...they make bad choices sometimes, and they don't know how to deal.
Take me and my stepdad, for instance. You know how it goes...or at least I think you do....You know (or might not know now that I'm thinking about it) that he and I have never really gotten along, and right about now, I'm feeling like I'm just a financial burden to him, that the only thing he sees when he looks at me is a money vaccuum. And sometimes....I get to really hating him, and how unfair it seems that I have to always read between the non-existant lines in his non-existant talks with me, when my stepsister just has to show up once a year and he's as talkative as...someone who talks a ..lot.....
But.... There might be things there that I'm not aware of. There might be a reason for it all that I haven't discovered...Who knows.
I hated my real dad for seven years, Ranna, for a reason that never actually existed. I lost seven years with my dad because I kept a grudge that really had no substance at all.
I hate to see kids hating their parents....I've been around your parents, too. A lot. And your mom...she talks to me a lot when she's driving me home.......I know there is always a very big difference in the relationship a child has with their mom and dad..and the relationship they have with their child's friends.....But there's also a lot of stuff a kid is kept unaware of.
I've seen a mother who truly has no love for her children, who doesn't see them the way a mother should. And trust me, Maranda............your mom isn't one of them. It's so easy to see, that she loves you and your sister.
And I don't think her kid should hold her accountable for the mistakes she's made if she's being held accountable without knowing it. I know you aren't the type to pick an argument...especially to your mom (she's really opinionated - that's a given) but if you're going to persecute them....get the whole story first.
But with as big as these situations sound, I don't think it would be fair of you to keep your thoughts to yourself. A kid should be able to say how they feel, most especially to their parents, and even MORE especially if those feelings are about them. Trust me, if they can't see the effect their actions have on you, they won't figure out that those actions are doing something to you. And if your parents loved you (which I know they do) they could never ignore something like that.
I think it would be pretty darn nasty of you to never say a word to them until it was too late for things to get fixed.
Not everyone is strong and capable. Their are a lot of people who make a lot of mistakes because they're weak. Our parents are no different. They're subject to it even more than others, because they've been given responsibility to raise a human being, and it's so easy to "mess" your kid up in some way...that it can really freak a person out.
As for your mum's genes.....I think the way she is has nothing to do with genes...That has something to do with the way her life went. You shouldn't swear off love and marriage because your mom's actions are not exactly the smartest actions to be taken. She bases her decisions by her past experiences; it's something everyone does. It's like....like when you touch something hot, and it burns you, and the hurting teaches you not to touch hot things....She's grown to think a different way, and to feel a different way. That has nothing to do with the genes she's passed on to you.
If you were to ever get married, Ranna, I'm 200% sure that your marriage would never be like your mom and dad's. You're too smart to follow in her footsteps. That's one of the awesome things about parents: they show us all these things that you can model later on in your own life, that you can either choose to do, or promise yourself you'll never do. And if you're smart enough (which we all know you are), you'll know what stuff is good, and what's genuinely bad.
Your mom's life up to the point where you're at was completely different from your own. That should instantly let you know that no particular thing in your life will be exactly like hers, unless you let it.
Don't hate your parents because of their human faults....love your mom and dad despite them.
Parents....they're tricky creatures, Ranna. There's no real telling what's really going on with them...You can't really ever say you understand/know about the things they do and why.
Surprisingly...they're human...they make bad choices sometimes, and they don't know how to deal.
Take me and my stepdad, for instance. You know how it goes...or at least I think you do....You know (or might not know now that I'm thinking about it) that he and I have never really gotten along, and right about now, I'm feeling like I'm just a financial burden to him, that the only thing he sees when he looks at me is a money vaccuum. And sometimes....I get to really hating him, and how unfair it seems that I have to always read between the non-existant lines in his non-existant talks with me, when my stepsister just has to show up once a year and he's as talkative as...someone who talks a ..lot.....
But.... There might be things there that I'm not aware of. There might be a reason for it all that I haven't discovered...Who knows.
I hated my real dad for seven years, Ranna, for a reason that never actually existed. I lost seven years with my dad because I kept a grudge that really had no substance at all.
I hate to see kids hating their parents....I've been around your parents, too. A lot. And your mom...she talks to me a lot when she's driving me home.......I know there is always a very big difference in the relationship a child has with their mom and dad..and the relationship they have with their child's friends.....But there's also a lot of stuff a kid is kept unaware of.
I've seen a mother who truly has no love for her children, who doesn't see them the way a mother should. And trust me, Maranda............your mom isn't one of them. It's so easy to see, that she loves you and your sister.
And I don't think her kid should hold her accountable for the mistakes she's made if she's being held accountable without knowing it. I know you aren't the type to pick an argument...especially to your mom (she's really opinionated - that's a given) but if you're going to persecute them....get the whole story first.
But with as big as these situations sound, I don't think it would be fair of you to keep your thoughts to yourself. A kid should be able to say how they feel, most especially to their parents, and even MORE especially if those feelings are about them. Trust me, if they can't see the effect their actions have on you, they won't figure out that those actions are doing something to you. And if your parents loved you (which I know they do) they could never ignore something like that.
I think it would be pretty darn nasty of you to never say a word to them until it was too late for things to get fixed.
Not everyone is strong and capable. Their are a lot of people who make a lot of mistakes because they're weak. Our parents are no different. They're subject to it even more than others, because they've been given responsibility to raise a human being, and it's so easy to "mess" your kid up in some way...that it can really freak a person out.
As for your mum's genes.....I think the way she is has nothing to do with genes...That has something to do with the way her life went. You shouldn't swear off love and marriage because your mom's actions are not exactly the smartest actions to be taken. She bases her decisions by her past experiences; it's something everyone does. It's like....like when you touch something hot, and it burns you, and the hurting teaches you not to touch hot things....She's grown to think a different way, and to feel a different way. That has nothing to do with the genes she's passed on to you.
If you were to ever get married, Ranna, I'm 200% sure that your marriage would never be like your mom and dad's. You're too smart to follow in her footsteps. That's one of the awesome things about parents: they show us all these things that you can model later on in your own life, that you can either choose to do, or promise yourself you'll never do. And if you're smart enough (which we all know you are), you'll know what stuff is good, and what's genuinely bad.
Your mom's life up to the point where you're at was completely different from your own. That should instantly let you know that no particular thing in your life will be exactly like hers, unless you let it.
Don't hate your parents because of their human faults....love your mom and dad despite them.